I wasn't planning to see
Abnormal Attraction, on Amazon Prime -- it sounds homophobic, labeling same-sex relations as "abnormal." But the blurb doesn't mention gay people at all: "In a world where fairy tales are much more than tales, monsters and humans must co-exist. Some people respect the difference between races..."
Difference between races? So the "abnormal attraction" isn't same-sex relations, it's miscegenation! White supremacy has come out of the Oval Office and into a theater near you! But maybe it's an anti-racist parody. This I have to see....
Prelude: A montage of monsters and humans going about their business, sitting on park benches, barbecuing. Some teenage thugs beat up a monster, while the passerbys ignore them.
No reaction to brutal violence. Is this "Tomorrow Belongs to Me," from "Cabaret"? Will we be seeing concentration camps next?
Monsters and humans interact at a party (hunk alert -- shirtless muscle man!). On TV, a non-human rights activist denounces the racial violence.
Chapter 1, Genesis: At some sort of helping institution, rambunctious Nick (Nathan Reid, a fitness trainer turned actor) asks white-haired Dr.Cole to take over his AA meeting. Dr. Cole is expecting alcoholics (the janitor even razzes him, proclaiming that Prohibition ended in 1933). But AA really means Abnormal Attraction -- humans trying to overcome their attraction to nonhumans (fairies, ghosts, vampires, a leprechaun).
Hunk alert: A genie played by Gilbrando Acevedo.
Their stories are all heterosexual except for a guy who is killed trying to have sex with a male Sasquatch.
Transphobia alert: A guy sets a trap for the Tooth Fairy, only to get a male instead of a female -- a hairy-chested drag queen. Everyone in the group reacts with disgust.
Dr. Cole goes home, to a mermaid in his bathtub. So he's experiencing an "abnormal attraction," too.
Chapter 2, Exodus (
so Chapter 3 will be Leviticus? I can't wait). Nick has car trouble, and is assisted by the grotesque monster Finnbar, who makes sleazy double-entendre jokes and flirts with him (
transphobia alert: Nick sees that Finnbar wears ladies' underwear, and reacts with disgust),.
Next he meets an abominable snowman, who kidnaps him and takes him to Camp Morningwood (a lot of dick jokes).
Nick and some other humans are held prisoner by a gang of nonhuman revolutionaries. Their leader, a witch named Madam Hildie, hates all humans after she was rejected by one as a girl.
Hunk alert: Nick is tied up with his shirt open -- nice pecs.
Nick psychoanalyzes the monsters and other human captives, encourages them to see beyond their differences, and they hug (some same-sex hugging).
Chapter 3, Revelations. Alyssa, Nick's fiance, stops into a diner and meets with Finnbar. They are working together to get revenge on the monsters for what they did to Alyssa's family years ago, and Finnbar has finally found their camp. They gather some muscle and rush in with guns blazing. But no one actually dies except for a Cyclops (Tyler Mane, left)
Spoler alert:
1. Madame Hildie is trying to find the mermaid that Dr. Cole has been sequestering.
2. Alyssa is Dr. Cole's daughter.
3. Nick is secretly a monster. So a monster dating a human is leading a support group on how to avoid "abnormal attraction"?
Heterosexist Nick and Alyssa fade out kiss. The end.
Is human-nonhuman sex really taboo in this world, or are Nick and Dr. Cole just right wing wackos who think it's against the Bible? It's never really explained,but the Nick-Alyssa kiss comes with cheers, not cries of disgust.
If Dr. Cole is working for a monster-attraction conversion clinic, wouldn't he know that the AA meeting was for Abnormal Attraction, not Alcoholics Anonymous?
This movie makes no sense.
I expected something classy and well-thought out, a society that could actually work, like on
Once Upon a Time. Instead, I got endless plot holes, ridiculous costumes, and stupid jokes fit for a fifth grader.. Frankenstein is Jewish. A pig builds a straw house,but a wolf knocks it down. There's a Purple People Eater.
Come on.
This is a Saturday morning cartoon, not a movie for grownups.
And what's with the ponderous paraphernalia, evoking gay conversion therapy, white supremacy and the Holocaust for a movie that is utterly silly? Too many tonal shifts.
My grade: D.