A guy says that he's not going to college; he will stay with Mike and "see where it goes." Then he gets into a car with another guy (probably Mike), and they drive away!
Mike! A boyfriend! He's gay!
So I watch.
Scene 1: At age 10, the Good Kids are practicing filling out college applications. The gang stops by to invite them to "look for dead bodies," but they refuse (I'd refuse, too -- Stand by Me is another movie).
Scene 2: The 18-year old Good Kids are:
Uber-nerd Andy (Nicholas Braun, top photo).
Spice (Israel Broussard), the one who will be staying with Mike "to see where it goes"
The Lion (Mateo Arias), the one he drives off with (ok, so not Mike).
And Nora (Zoey Deutch).
They bewail the fact that they were not invited to any high school graduation parties. They traded cool for college.
Scene 3: A montage of the Good Kids at their summer jobs. Andy is working at an elite tennis club. Nora has some sort of job looking through microscopes at an aquarium, and getting flustered around her hot coworker. The Lion teaches a kids' karate class; one of the kid's teenage cousins (a girl) invites him to a party at the Point (a ritzy spot). He can bring a date, or "whoever he wants."
Wait -- what about Mike? "See where it goes"? Maybe you'll realize that you're gay later on.
Scene 5: Andy is teaching a lady's tennis class. The older ladies flirt with him, and invite him over "for a private lesson."
Scene 6: They arrive at the party, take their first drink (maybe start with beer, not whiskey?), smoke some marijuana. Then they proceed to do what they were afraid to do before:
Nora flirts with her hot coworker.
The Lion gets high and teaches a class in Tai Chi (no girl? Maybe he's Mike after all!)
Spice flirts with a girl by betting her that he can make a souffle (whatever works for you, dude).
Andy becomes popular by demonstrating how he can catch things in his mouth (um...no comment). A girl invites him to have sex.
Scene 7: The souffle is done. A girl invites Spice to have sex. Wait...you like Mike, remember?
Scene 8: Andy is getting ready to have sex. He states that he's a virgin, so the Girl takes charge. Andy's chest, Girl boobs, brief kissing.
Meanwhile, Nora is kissing Hot Coworker on the beach. Long shot, no beefcake but his back.
Meanwhile, Spice is kissing his Girl. Whoa,he definitely has an erection! I wonder if it's part of the story or accidental? Suddenly she changes her mind -- he's not acting right. Maybe because he's not into girls?
When is he going to meet Mike? Or is the Lion Mike?
Scene 9: The Good Kids all sneak home, and are yelled at by their parents, or not.
Scene 10: They have lunch, and discuss how they all met someone for hetero-romance last night, except Lion, who met some drug dealers (even better! The Lion is definitely Mike!).Scene 11: Andy goes to the Middle-Aged Lady's house to give a private tennis lesson. They have sex off-camera. Andy's chest, Lady's boobs.
Scene 12: Andy is jealous of Nora and her new boyfriend. He likes her -- as if we didn't see that coming from Scene 1!
Scene 13: The ladies at the tennis club sign up for Andy's "private lessons." Is this a 1980s sex-with-babysitter comedy?
Meanwhile, Nora has the reputation for being sexually available.
Where's Mike, the guy Spice is going to stay with? I'm tired of wading through this retro-1980s "sex with babysitter" plotline waiting for Godot. Time to fast-forward.
The Lion hooks up with a girl. He's not gay! He's not Mike!
There's a homoerotic wrestling match, but with Andy and a hot guy, not Spice. And nothing comes of it.
Spice hooks up with a girl, and gets a hand job. He never realizes that he's gay. He never meets Mike, or any guy other than his friends. This has all been one big tease!
Reeking, contemptible, cock-teasing, gay-teasing, gay-erasing, heterosexist, heteronormative piece of slimy, stnking, soul-destroying brain-rot. My grade: F-.
But what about the last scene? I watch it again:
What a great summer! Now we're off to our various colleges.
Andy: "Spice, you're going off to Stanford."
Spice: "Actually, I think I'll stay with Mike. See where it goes."
GRR. WHO THE HELL IS MIKE????
Watched Nicholas Braun in a couple TV shows/movies, he's alright while I've never liked Israel Broussard.
ReplyDeleteBraun was too skinny for me -- I like some bulk, either muscle or fat. Or else short guys. He takes off his clothes multiple times, but no one else does, except the Hot Coworker and the guy Andy is wrestling.
DeleteThe IMDB cast list has no Mikes of any sort. Is "stay with Mike" contemporary slang for "stay home," or something?
ReplyDeleteNever heard it. Usually nicknames like that are euphemistic and short for something.
DeleteMy top guesses are:
Delete1. Mike is Spice's boss at work, mentioned in a scene that I fast-forwarded through. Spice is going to skip college to work at the restaurant.
2. Mike is Spice's real name, mentioned in a scene that I fast-forwarded through. Spice is going to skip college to "work on himself."
3. Mike is short for Michaela, the girl from scene 6 and/or 7 and/or the handjob. In the editing room the mentioning of the name got cut, or you missed it (understandably). I do not want to watch this to find out, and I do not want anyone else to risk their life or mental health watching it in my or your place. So it will remain a mystery.
DeleteThe word now used is queerbait, but it's often misused. The character just needs to be gay to not be queerbait. No requirement that all gay characters be in a relationship, let alone paired the way you want.
ReplyDelete