NSFW Movies

 

A

After the Hunt: Pretentious philosophy professors have problems, with some p*eises and Will Price

Almost Love: Almost good gay comedy about rich people's hookup problems, plus Scott Evans.

American Gigolo, 1980 and 2022

Angels and Insects: Recalling the cringe c*ocks

Angels in America: Tearjerker about Mormon angels, AIDS, and some 1950s guy.

Arabian Nights: Pasolini tells the lesser-known tales, with homophobia

Asteroid City: Bleak play within a play within a play, with one teensy gay kiss and Matt Dillon

B

The Binge: Skyler Gisondo's chest, two queer codes, some random naked guys, and a lot of queerbaiting

Bullet Train: Eleven assassins, Brad Pitt, and queerbaiting on the train from Tokyo to Kyoto

C

Canterbury Tales: Pasolini includes more gay characters than Chaucer imagined

Caravaggio's Shadow: As time goes by, the gay Baroque painter becomes more and more straight. With nude Italian men

The Cat and the Moon: Skyler Gisondo  has a gay-subtext romance on the mean streets of New York

Christmas on Cherry Lane: Three families, including a gay couple, with a plot twist that you won't see coming

Christmas on Repeat: A Groundhog Day romcom with Matthew Lawrence, Peter Pan, and some BBCs.

Christmas on the Square: Disaster starring Dolly Parton, Christine Baranski, Treat Williams, and Josh Serrano, with some n*de guys to make up for having to read about it.

Cruising: Homophobic classic about sin, degradation, and d*cks in a doomed gay world.

D

Dashing in December: Campy Christmas romcom with gay guys and a ranch that needs saving. Plus Neil Patrick Harris

The Dead Don't Die: By-the-numbers zombie apocalypse, with gay subtexts and Josh O'Connor

Down Low: Netflix bait-and-switch movie that turns a hookup into something dark

E-F

The Eyes of Tammy Faye: A gay positive light in the homophobic 1980s.

The Feast of the Seven Fishes: Most of the Christmas tropes I hate, but I liked it anyway. With Skyler Gisondo

Final Destination: Blood Legacy: Death has a wacky sense of humor. With Travis Turner, the gay guy from "Chucky," and a n*de security guard

The Final Girls: Psycho-slasher parody with two queer characters and Adam  Devine

Fire Island: Myles Clohessy takes off his clothes, erases LGBT people from a movie set in a gay resort

G

Game Over, Man: Five minutes of Adam's divine d*ck.  What's not to like?

Gladiator II: Not as homophobic as you think, and there are musclemen

H-I

Happiest Season: Christmas romcom with a lesbian couple, pansexual Patrick, Jake's junk, and Candy Cane Lane

The Holiday Exchange: Immensely wealthy A-gays look for love.  Watch it with your grandmother.

It's a Wonderful Knife: Christmas psycho-slasher romcom with six queer characters and Depner

It Ends with Us: Not a post-Apocalyptic thriller, a drama about a lady with clunky rings and a hunk named Atlas

J

Jexi: Dull romcom enlivened by Adam Devine's comedic timing

Join Kelvin's God Squad: Recruitment video starring Adam Devine, Tony Cavalero, and Brock O'Hurn

K-L

Love Lies Bleeding: Lesbian noir in the New Mexico desert, with some musclemen and bodybuilders

M

Meet Me in St. Louis: the movie that spawned the "Have Yourself" monstrosity. With A LOT of d*cks to get you through it, plus Adam Devine and Will Robinson

Meet Me Next Christmas: Romcom with a drag show, a queer cousin, Pentatonix, and a dancer

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates: Adam Devine and Zac Efron's beefcake and bulges, but where's the plot?

N-O

Obliterated: Do you want a review of "the worst movie of the year," or should I just skip to the d*cks?

The Outlaws: Adam Devine has a crush on Pierce Brosnan.  Don't you?

Oz, the Great and Powerful: A walking p enis (not in a good way) finds true love, two wicked witches, and a flying monkey

P-Q

The Package: A movie about packages, with bonus packages, produced by Adam Devine What could go wrong?

Pain and Glory: An aging director recalls his first crush and first boyfriend, with n*dity and nostalgia

The People We Hate at the Weddings: Two sisters and their mum find love, the gay guy doesn't, and there's just one...

Picco: A lot of hot guys amid the brutality of a German youth prison

Pitch Perfect: Nerd Ben Platt, hunk Skyler Astin, jerk Adam Devine, and some n*de dudes

Players: Romcom about a sports writer who ends up with who you expect, plus a bi guy

Please Don't Destroy. The Treasure of Foggy Mountain: Enough queer codes and d*ck pics?  With a random Adam Devine

Poltergeist: The gay connecton, with gay actors, AIDS awareness, skeletons, some d*cks, and "They're he-ee-ere."

Proper Gym Etiquette: Robert Oberst punishes those idiots you see at the gym.

R

Reefer Madness: Marijuana hysteria, demonic bulges, a dinner date with Satan, and Christian Campbell's c*ck

Richie Rich joins a gym. With bonus Rory and Kieran c*cks, and Kelvin Gemstone comics.

S

The Seminarian: Gay evangelical with an enormous ...looks for love, annoys his friends and the viewers

Sinners: Twin brothers fight vampires and klansmen in the Mississippi Delta. With Jordan junk and O'Connell cock

Son of a Thousand Men: Magic realism from Brazil with fragmented time and space, but there are gay guys and d*cks

Spider-Man, the Dark Age: Fan-based Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man doesn't get a girl

Splitting Adam: Tony Cavalero helps Jace Norman win the Girl of His Dreams, with the stars all grown up

Stonewall: The riot that began the Gay Rights Movement, with nice cops, a white Saviour, and some...

Superman (2025): You'll believe a man can queerbait

Sweethearts: Thanksgiving romcom proving that there's gay life in Ohio, so don't move to New York

T-V

This F*king Town: F*king gay-free Hollywood, with some celebs that I hooked up with...um, I mean met.

This is the End: Celebrities left behind face demons, cannibals, and Danny McBride

Time Cut: Girl travels into the past to stop a murder, with Griffin Gluck's boyfriend and Zane Philips

Time Freak: Skyler Gisondo and Asa Butterfield as boyfriends who get girlfriends

Tropic Thunder: Danny McBride, a gay rapper, Jack Black's bulge, and a lot of wartime buddy-bonding

Twilight Saga: The top 15 hunks, with some vampires and werewolves

Underground Railroad: A gay slave rides a real railroad through the surrealist South

Vacation: Skyler Gisondo as a victim in a cringy homophobic scene, with some pics to make up for it.

W-Z

Wake Up Dead Man: Daniel Craig's gay detective solves a locked-room murder, with a hot priest, some MAGA suspects, and a lot of Catholic cocks

Warm Bodies: A zombified Nicholas Hoult meets the Girl of His Dreams. With Nick Conddrey

Weapons: Mysterious disappearances, a positive gay couple, a scary clown lady, a femme boy, and a lot of nude dudes. What's not to like?

Weird Science, the movie and tv show: three gay-subtext couples, two gay-vague guys, and a lot of bulges and butts. Plus Lee's dick.

 Why Him?: Adam Devine hooks up with Griffin Gluck over discussions of....