Zach Garcia: Searching through tearjerkers, awakenings, cowboys, podcasts, Alistair Patton, Tab Hunter, and a lot of d*cks

  

Link to the Zach and Tab d*ck

I'm tired of finding photos of some guy I never heard of on one of the celebrity websites, where one expects to find celebrities, and after two hours of research he turns out to be a musician who appeared "as himself" on one episode of a reality show, or a random hunk with a youtube channel.  Random hunks are off-topic.  I only  profile men who have performed in movies and tv shows. 

So when I found an adult video of Zach Garcia, doing that thing, .it wasn't enough to vaguely remember him from one of those high school soap operas like Riverdale.  I checked the IMDB for acting credits.  He has 11, so let's move forward.

In an interview in Voyager. Zach notes that he began modeling at age 12, but specified that he wouldn't model in his underwear.  No problem: soon he was appearing on billboards and in magazines.  Then his agent said that he should start acting, so he auditioned.  A lot of auditions, but only a few roles.

A 2015 episode of Grandfathered: "confirmed bachelor" John Stamos discovers that he has a son, Josh Peck, and Josh has a son, making him a grandfather.  Zach doesn't play the grandson.

"No One Knows I'm Gone," a 2015 short.  A bullied 12-year old runs away from home.  He doesn't play the bullied 12-year old.

On the day of Zach's auditon for Chicago PD, his aunt had just died of breast cancer, so he didn't want to go, but his mom talked him into it.  Guess what -- it's a tearjerker.  His character is supposed to be sad all the time.  He got the part.

Also, the spirit of his aunt was in the room, helping him out.

He stuck around for 7 episodes as the kidnapped and otherwise sad son of cop John Seda.  He returned for an episode of the spin-off Chicago Fire.

Typecast as an eternally sad figure, Zach found the roles easier to come by:

Poor Boy, 2016: Two misfit brothers and The Girl dream of California. Zach didn't play one of the brothers.

Chasing the Blues, 2017. Two rivals and the Girl try to acquire a famous jazz record. Zach didn't play one of the rivals.

Four episodes of Major Crimes, 2017, as Miguel Diaz, a undocumented juvenile accused of killing his father.

One episode of The Rookie, 2020, as Hector Duran, who went to juvie for theft and drug posession, and now is enrolled in a Scared Straight program along with his brother, Christian Ochoa.

One episode of Generation, 2022, about "high school students exploring modern sexuality."  It had some gay, bi, and trans characters, but I don't know who Zach's character was, as it is currently unavailable for streaming.

Bloom, 2022, not to be confused with other 2022 Bloom, about girls in a flower shop falling in love.  This one, which is unavailable anywhere, tells us that: "After going his whole life drowning in many dark thoughts, a 20 year old young male, finally breaks through with the courage of his sexuality."  Ok, F for grammatical errors, the awkward "old young," and the nonsense "break through with the courage"  Zach doesn't play the 20 year old young male.

Since 2022, Zach has been working as gaffer and grip on projects such as Desire Within, Emory Woods, and When a Flame Dies Out, so that must be his new career.  

Zach's Instagram has a few interesting photos, like this one with his boyfriend.

On to the video of Zach doing that thing. 

Wait -- I didn't notice before, but the video guy doesn't look like Zach at all!  

So who the heck is he?

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Beefcake and bonding in British boys' annuals

From the 1930s through the 1980s, British boys spent Christmas day unwrapping and reading "annuals," thick hardback books with stories and pictures derived from weekly story papers: Hotspur, Champion, Knockout, Perfect Book for Boys, Best Book for Boys, dozens of titles.

There were also annuals for girls and children, but the boys' annuals were notable for two reasons.

1. Shirtless and semi-nude covers and interior illustrations.  Hundreds of muscular teenage boys and men on display, many more than in the American adventure boys series.

They were playing sports, camping, fighting monsters. They were alone and in pairs.  Their muscles glistened in the Christmas firelight.

2. The stories inside did not involve the dating, romances, and overall girl-craziness that obsessed American teen stories in the 1950s and 1960s. They were about boys meeting, being rescued by, and establishing permanent relations with other boys and men.

More after the break

Searching for Nate Stone, through pastors, pole vaulters, photographers, and powerful physiques

Link to the full profile, with plenty  of powerful physiques

When I was researching the Disney Channel teencom Bunk'd, I checked for photos of the adult cast members, and came across Nate Stone, who played Timmy: he moved out of the camp to live in the woods during Seasons 1-2.  

Living in the woods, he must be a grown-up counselor. So I searched for "Nate Stone,"  and found a lot of physique photos.

A lot of photos, apparently all from Nate's OnlyFans page.

Turns out that Timmy is not an adult, he's one of the campers.  At the end of Season 2, he is adopted by the family of his friend Doug (Owen Atlas, left). 

As of this writing, Owen Atlas is 16 years old. The Bunk'd Nate Stone couldn't be more than a year or two older, say 17 or 18.

The guy in the OnlyFans photos must be another Nate Stone.

But which one?  There are dozens with social media profiles, even if you exclude "Nathans."

1. A graduate of the University of Washington who devotes his life to starting new churches.

2. A "part-time mature male model" 

3. A lacrosse player from Brevard College in North Carolina

4. A photographer from Oahu.

5. A heterosexual adult film performer known for Bed Sharers

6. A guy from Indiana who works for Rolls Royce.

7. A hockey player at Gustavus Adolphus College in Minnesota

8. A swim coach at Benildes-St. Margaret Catholic High School in Minnesota.

More Nates after the break

Are the Pantos Gay?

I have studied English literature, watched British tv, known people from Britain, visited several times, but before last year I had never heard of a pantomime, except as something mimes do.  Apparently people raised in Britain have fond memories of going to pantos at Christmastime, but nobody ever talks about it.

It's is a type of musical comedy performed during the Christmas season, using well-known stories.   Next winter, for instance, you will be able to attend the pantos of Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Peter Pan, Puss in Boots, Aladdin, Dick Whittington, Treasure Island, and Robin Hood (prices range from $12 to $30 U.S.)

IThe basic plot must be familiar, since it will be skewed, augmented with satiric bits, slapstick, references to current events, and ad-lib scenes.  The audience, mostly children, will interact with the cast, boo the villain, ask questions, shout "He's behind you!", and even argue: "Oh, no it isn't!" "Oh, yes it is!."

There are five standard characters, plus a chorus and various comedic players:

1. The Principal Boy, traditionally played by a girl in drag, but now more often a tv star, such as Ray Quinn of The X Factor as Aladdin (top photo), or a boy band hunk.

That explains why, when I saw Peter Pan back in the 1960s, Peter was played by Mary Martin.  And why the audience had to shout "I believe in fairies" to save Tinker Bell's life.  Panto roots.  But it doesn't explain the creepy dog in the nanny cap, or why people who aren't sick need to take "medicine."

2. The Dame, usually the Main Boy's mother, traditionally played by a man in drag.



3. The Comic Lead, the Main Boy's zany friend or servant, often played by another celebrity, such as  wrestler Nick Aldis as the Genie in Aladdin (left).

4. The Love Interest, an attractive woman with whom the Principal Boy will fall in love. If the original story lacks hetero-romance, not to worry, one will be added.  For instance, in the Wizard of Oz panto, Dorothy falls in love with someone named Elvis.

5. The Villain, male, female, or a drag performer.

Questions immediately arise: why the drag?  What does it mean to watch a woman in male drag fall in love with a woman?  Does it ameliorate the heterosexism of the boy-and-girl plotline?  Are the pantos gay?

Maybe not.  Maybe the drag serves to accentuate rather than challenge gender norms.

Although there have been pantos for adult gay audiences, such as Peta Pan (a lesbian version of Peter Pan), Get Aladdin, and Snow White and the Seven Poofs, some gay writers who grew up with the pantos felt that they weren't "for us" 

And attempts to incorporate gay characters or situations into the traditional panto have met with hysterical hand-wringing of the "It's for kids!!!!" sort.

If you still haven't met your beefcake quota after seeing a panto, check out the Boxing Day Dips, hundreds of people -- mostly cute guys -- dashing into the ocean nude, or at least wearing as little as the censors will allow.

"This F*king Town": This f*king gay-free Hollywood. But I include some celebrities that I hooked up with...um, I mean met.

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Whilc looking at Tony Cavalero's work on the IMDB,  I found This Fucking Town, a TV short about "actors looking for love and work in L.A."   When I lived in West Hollywood, about half my friends were "actors looking for love and work" so I tried to check it out.  But it didn't seem to exist.  Tubi and Roku advertised it, but "content isn't available."  A rave revew made it sound like an entire web series, not just a short, but the links provided led to "content unavailable."

Finally I found it as a movie on Amazon Prime, and rented it out of sheer frustration. 

It starts out ok, with Mark (Michael Mark Friedman) flexing and Jeremy (Gregory Hoyt, left) dancing in his underwear. They meet up.  

Heading to a party, Jeremy is worried meeting someone new: they always dump him the moment they discover that he is hung.  Really?  

At the party, Jeremy runs into his ex, Caitlin, who thinks all actors are pathetic losers.  She took a witchcraft class and put a spell on him, to ensure that he will never find work (conicidentally, Tony Cavalero's wife Annie is a magic practitioner).  

Jeremy sneers that her new guy, Brett (Tony Cavalero), is an actor, too, but Caitlin counters that he's a personal trainer.  "So you hold people's feet while they do sit-ups!".  Brett stomps off.

That's all for Tony: one word.  

Then the movie turns into a soap opera about heterosexual relationships, with six lengthy kissing scenes amid discussions of auditions and roles.  No more beefcake, and no LGBT people exist. Ugh!

Believe me, life in West Hollywood was a lot more fun than this short/ web series/ movie suggests. Gay men definitely existed.  And celebrities.  Ten days after I arrived, I was having lunch with Michael J. Fox.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Times have changed: a gay couple gets engaged on the Disney Channel teencom "Bunk'd."

 

Times have changed.  Bunk'd (2015-24),  a Disney Channel teencom set in an endless summer camp, is actually a spin-off of Jesse (2011-2015), about an aspiring singer (does the Disney Channel have any other protagonists)?   In Episode 6.19 (2023), "No Pain, No Grain," there are gay characters, and a wedding proposal.

There are three plotlines.  I'll cover each separately.

Bill's Story: Camp leader Miranda and snooty rich girl Destiny discover that Bill (Alfred Lewis) is exhausted from over-working at ranch chores that, as a paying camper, he's not even required to do.   They steal his clothes to force him to come to Mustang Cabin, where they have arranged a day-spa.  He balks and leaves: cowboys don't wear bathrobes and put cucumber slices on their eyes.

They try again, but accidentally knock over a bottle of eucalyptus oil.  The smell causes everyone to rush out.

Later, they discover that Bill has been doing self-care secretly in the barn.  Turns out that he actually likes relaxing: even cowboys can benefit from wellness.  

Parker's Story:  Miranda tells counselor Parker (Trevor Torjdman, top photo), who has no place to stay, that she has arranged for him to move into Coyote Cabin with fellow counselor Noah (Israel Johnson).  He has another idea: the abandoned grain silo instead.  Noah is hurt by this snub, but agrees to help with the renovation.

They have various slapstick misadventures, like grain falling on them and a raccoon attacking Parker's box of shoes.   

Confronted about the snub, Parker assures Noah that he would love to bunk with him, but Coyote Cabin doesn't need two counselors.  So they compromise: they both move into the quickly-renovated silo.

The multi-ringed, super femme fashion plate Noah is apparently straight.  There are several actors named Israel Johnson, so I can't tell which if any is gay in real life.

Winnie's Story: Butch, over-energetic Winnie tells Jake (Luke Busey) that she's super-excited because her brother Wayne and his boyfriend are coming for a visit. 

When they arrive, regular-femme brother Wayne (Jacob Haren) bonds with Jake.  He explains that he's going to propose tonight, but keep it a secret.  Because Nicholas is over-exuberant, he needs fireworks.  Jake suggests doing it at Dead Skunk Gulch.

More after the break

Frasier: The Gayest Show on TV, or the Most Homophobic?

In 1993, Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer), the stuffy, elitist psychiatrist who hung out at Cheers (1982-93), moved back to his hometown of Seattle, Washington, where he hosted his own radio program, offering psychiatric help to callers.

Very few episodes of Frasier (1993-2004) involved the wacky mental problems of callers -- the producers thought that concentrating on the radio station would make it too much like WKRP in Cincinnati -- although producer Roz (Peri Gilpin) became a regular, and there were occasional appearances by leering, hetero-horny sports show host Bulldog (Dan Butler) and swishy food show host Gil (Edward Hibbert).

Most episodes were about Frasier's home life, conflicts with his macho, working class father, Martin (John Mahoney) and his even more elitist younger brother Niles (David Hyde Pierce).

It had a huge gay fanbase.  Many gay men could relate to conflicts with their macho, working-class fathers over their interest in fine art, show tunes, wine-tasting, and chick flicks.

Plus Frasier featured the most intense, passionate, and open gay romance on tv during the period.

Frasier and Niles were boyfriends.  Ok, they were scripted as heterosexual brothers, but come on...brothers simply do not act like that.

Their relationship was deliberately written as quasi-romantic.  Even other characters commented on it.

But, to keep it from crossing over the boundary into over romance, the writers gave Frasier any number of hetero-romantic conquests, and Niles a wife plus an ongoing crush on Daphne (Jane Laneves), Martin's live-in physical therapist, who remained oblivious (or pretended to be).

And they drew pitiably few gay plotlines, and all of the most simplistic, 1970s type.

In the fifth season, Niles and Daphne are mistaken for gay, and Frasier is embarrassed when his friends discover him in bed with a man, and conclude that he is...you know (shades of Three's Company!).

In the seventh season, Martin pretends to be gay to get out of dating a woman he dislikes, only to have her set him up with a gay man (he ends up going through with the date).

The most substantial gay plotline involved Gil the Food Critic, who was assumed gay throughout, and often ridiculed for his effeminacy,

In the ninth season, he reveals that he is actually heterosexual, married to a butch woman named Bev, and is rather offended by the gay rumors: "honestly, just because a man dresses well and knows how to use a pastry bag, people jump to wild conclusions!"

The retro, borderline homophobic storylines are particularly surprising when one realizes that David Hyde Pierce, Dan Butler (left), John Mahoney and Edward Hibbert were all gay.  That's the entire male cast, except for Kelsey Grammer.

To recap: an entire cast full of gay men playing heterosexuals, the focus character involved in a same-sex romance barely hidden under the "brothers" label, and no gay references except for a few retro "mistaken for gay" excursions.

Was it the gayest show on tv, or the most homophobic?

See also: The Frasier Reboot: 20 years later, it's straight people all the way down

Lesbian Subtexts in the Harvey Girls: Little Audrey, Little Lotta, and Little Dot

When I was a kid, I loved Harvey supernatural comics: Casper the Friendly Ghost, with his brave nonconformity to ghost society; Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost, who had a homoromantic back story; and Hot Stuff the Little Devil, who had homoerotic potential.

I didn't care much for Richie Rich, until he began bulking up in the mid-1970s, and I never bothered with the "girl only" titles: Little Dot, Little Lotta, and Little Audrey.

But I recently bought an anthology of Harvey Girl comics in the interest of completeness (I already had the other volumes), and in retrospect, those girls had a lot to offer.

No quiet, sweet, well-behaved "little ladies,"  they were intelligent, resourceful, and daring.  They gleefully surpassed the boys in every masculine-coded activity, from playing football to catching crooks, and their adventures usually had a satiric edge.

1. Little Audrey was named after a series of 1930s jokes about a girl who got into a terrible, morbid, or dirty situation, then "laughed and laughed" before delivering the punchline.

She had an African-American friend, Tiny, a first in 1960s comics, and a working-class boyfriend:  Melvin, who wore a spiked fedora and spoke Brooklynese.  Middle-lower class friendships were often forbidden, lending their bond a queer subtext.

2. Little Lotta was fat, a compulsive eater, yet very strong and athletic.  She had a small, eyeglass-wearing, feminine-coded boyfriend, Gerald, reminding one of the old blues song "Masculine Women, Feminine Men."

Some stories involved Lotta saving the day from bullies, but mostly they were extended gags with the gay symbolism that must have appealed to preteen lesbians:  Lotta's parents, teachers, or friends complain that she is inadequately ladylike so she unsuccessfully tries to "femme" it up.  In the end they decide that she's just fine the way she is.

3. Little Dot had two claims to fame: an obsession with dots, and an endless proliferation of uncles and aunts, who took her on secret-agent and science-fiction style adventures.

 In the 1950s stories, she had a boyfriend named Red, but by the 1960s, Red was forgotten, leaving Dot the only Harvey Girl who doesn't display any heterosexual interest.  She is the most feminine-coded of the trio, however, interested in "girly" fashion.

Dot and Lotta were best friends; the two often shared a story as well as a bed, giving them a nice butch-femme lesbian subtext.

See also: Richie Rich joins a gym, with bonus Kieran and Rory Culkin