"The Innocents": Two Episodes, Four Stories, 14 Names, and 11 Hunks

 

The Innocents is a British tv series about "teeange lovers" who run away from home because their parents disapprove of their true love, only to find that the girl has supernatural powers.  Sounds immensely heterosexist, but a review said something about a "gay best friend." 

 I decide to watch Episode 3, "Bubblegum and Bleach," in which a "friendly stranger" offers the duo a place to stay and a job.  The stranger is played by Andrew Lee Potts, who I think is gay.  Maybe he's the "gay best friend."

Whoops. this is impossible! I only got through 20 minutes before giving up on the five convoluted storylines:  

1. Harry and June running away from the bad guys who are chasing them because June has special powers: she turns into a burly guy at random intervals.

2. Burly Guy and his buddy in a van in Norway.

3. A therapy center in Scotland where they treat shapeshifters, including June's Mum Elena, who doesn't know that June is a shapeshifter.  But June doesn't know where Elena is, so they're even.

4. Christine, a police officer looking for Harry and June  then going back to headquarters to argue with her boss, who is retiring.  

5. Two guys hugging by the side of the road, saying "I can't go on!" and "We have to find June!"

And so many names! Harry, June, Runa, Ben, Elena, Sigrid, John, Ryan, Christine, Doug, all in the first 20 minutes.  

I'll try Episode 1

Scene 1: Burly Guy being chased through a mountainous countryside.  He reaches a cliff, flashes back to bad stuff, and plans to jump off, but his friend Ben tackles him and asks "What happened up there?"

Cut to an examination room. Behind a window, Ben asks why Burly Guy wanted to jump.  He explains: he wanted to go through with Steiner's plans, but "the thought of June coming here made me so angry about what I lost."

Ben reassures him: "We're helping people here.  We're building a new family, my love."

My love?  They must be a gay couple.

Wait -- there's a mirror next to Burly Guy, displaying a woman.  So Burly Guy is a woman in a man's body, sort of transgender?

Suddenly Burly Guy convulses and turns into the woman, Ruma.  But Burly Guy is sitting right next to Ben.  What the heck is going on?

Ben explains how much he loves Ruma.  "I'm not going to lose you.  I can't."

So he wants to make the change from Burly Guy to Ruma permanent?  

I think these people are all heterosexual, and trying desperately to get the bodies of their partners back to the "proper" male-female configuration.

Heck with this. Let's skip to the beefcake.

The Van in Norway

1. Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson as Burly Guy/Steiner

2. Trond Fausa as Alf, who I think is Burly Guy's friend who helps him out of the van in Norway and asks "What's going on?"

The Therapy Center in Scotland

3. Guy Pearce as Ben the Therapist, who runs a therapy center to keep shapeshifters in their "right" bodies.  Sort of like shapeshifter conversion therapy?

The Guys Hugging By the Side of the Road

4. Sam Hazeldine as John, of whom June says: "I can't believe he didn't tell us that he knew where my mother was."  Wikipedia: he is June's father.

5. Arthur Hughes as Ryan, of whom Harry says "We have to go back to the flat and get the cash card that Ryan gave us," but June protests: "It's too dangerous."  According to a news article, Arthur Hughes has a "rare disability" affecting his right arm, but that hasn't stopped him from getting roles.  When he got the part, they just wrote his disability into the script.

Wikipedia: he is June's brother.

The Cops Looking for Harry and June and Having Their Own Adventures

6. Jason Done as Doug, the boss of Christine, the police officer searching for the runaway teens.  He's retiring, and there's a big row about other cases that have nothing to do with anything.  I felt like i had accidentally bumped the channel into another series.

7. Kamil Lemieszewski as Kevin, Christine's partner

Harry and June, The Teenage Runaways

8. Percelle Ascott (quite a name!) as Harry.  I had a choice of displaying his arms or his face.  

9. Philip Wright as Harry's father.

10. Andrew Koji as the boyfriend of a shapeshifting girl befriended by Harry and June.

11. Andrew Lee Potts as a hippie drug dealer who gives the two minors jobs delivering Ecstasy tablets in a nightclub.  Well, at least he doesn't try to have sex with them.