Workaholics 6.1: Blake is gay in this one, but don't worry, Adam still likes men. With bonus Dane...um....Cook

 

Link to the NSFW review

Workaholics, with Adam Devine, Blake Anderson, and Anders Holm as a trio of loveable goofballs, rarely disappoints.  Adam takes his shirt off more often than not, and usually expresses an interest in men,.   But not always, and there are a lot of "let's look at ladies!" plotlines -- this was on Comedy Central, after all -- so going in cold, reviewing an episode without watching it first is risky. 

So let's go.   Episode 6.1, "The Wolves of Rancho," a parody of The Wolves of Wall Street -- the guys work as telemarketers in Rancho Cucamonga.

Scene 1: At the office, instead of working, Blake and Ders are having  a beatbox battle, while Adam moderates. 

Scene 2: The guys continue to avoid work, hiding behind the office to eat noodles.  Suddenly Cushing (Liam Hemsworth), who used to work there, drives up in his Porsche.   They're amazed: "You've changed -- you used to look horrible, but now you're hot."  

And how can a telemarker afford a Porsche?  It's because he transfered to the Van Nuys office, where his boss, JP (Dane Cook, below), is an inspiration.  

Scene 3: They yell at their own boss, Alice.  Why do they spend all day doing beat-box contests and taking naps?  Why aren't they making the big commissions? Because she's a lousy leader.  They insist that she transfer them to the Van Nuys branch, where they can be inspired by a real leader, and become great men/  She agrees.

Scene 4: Their new office, all dark and deserted.  A guy on the telephone tells them to "sell me on each other."  Blake: "He could sell sand to Sandra Bullock."  Adam: "He's like a hammerhead shark of telemarketing."  That's enough: The lights go on, and everyone pops out like at a surprise party.  They have a week to prove that they belong at the money-making machine.

Cushing give them the tour -- they each get their own office, decorated however they want, and there are new suits and hair gel products for them.  Hey, Cushing just  "goosed" a passing guy.  That's toxic workplace behavior, buddy, but at least it demonstrates that he is into men.

Scene 5: JP's inspirational speech: "We're gonna take this week, and butt-f*k it until it dumps Monday."  I don't know what that means, except for the butt-f*king part.  The employees are all dudes, except for two women standing in the background.  Looks like some gender discrimination going on, and quite a lot of dudebro homoeroticism.

JP explains his shark sales strategy: If an old guy says no because he spent all his money on his heart medication, what do you do?  Tell him to buy, and skip the medication!  No means yes!  Adam is horrified, but goes along with it.

Scene 6: End of day: "You crushed it!  200 sales!"  Presumably that means the whole office, not just the guys.  "Now you get to work late and make 200 more!" The guys are exhausted, but it's stay late or get fired. So, do they get time and a half?

To motivate them during their overtime, the "well hung" John Jordan will be coming around with botox injections, and there are sushi smodels: you pick sushi off their bodies, presumably trying to reveal the good parts.  Plus Pauly Shore, known for playing annoying characters, in a cage. "If you meet your quota, you can "wease the juice" with him."  I don't know what that means, but it sounds dirty.

Cut to the guys in their offices, doing hard-sells: "Do you care about the happiness of your children?"  Ders is juggling, Adam working out; and Blake doing martial arts. I know this is a "grass is always greener" workplace episode, but isn't Adam contractually obligated to take off his shirt at least once? 

He takes it off after the break

"Kiss Me, Kate" Updated and Gay-ified

I'm not much for musical theater, but I have a fondness for Kiss Me, Kate (1953), about the on- and -off stage antics of contemporary players performing a musical version of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.  The lyrics just need a bit of tweaking.

For instance, early in The Shrew,  Petruchio sings that he's come to Padua to marry a wealthy woman.  He doesn't care about her looks or personality; she could even be assertive and powerful.

I shall not be disturbed a bit, if she be but a quarter-wit.

If she only can talk of clothes, while she powders her gosh-darned nose. 

 Still the damsel I'll make my dame: in the dark they are all the same.

The gay version:

 I've come to boyfriend wealthily in Padua.

If wealthily, then happily in Padua.

I heard you mutter "Zounds, but what  a cad you are."

I shall take him without a flinch, if his cock be a quarter inch.

If he only can talk of cars, if he spends every night in the bars

If he never goes to the gym, if his pronouns are they/them, not him.

Still the boyfriend I'll take to my bed -- at least they will give me head

I heard you say "Gadzooks, completely mad you are."

I won't be concerned at all, if he's short, ugly, old, or tall

If his politics are red, not blue, if his chums are homophobes and rude

I know that didn't rhyme, I'm running out of time

If he's wealthy, I'll make him mine: they all look the same from behind.

Off-stage, Lois Lane (no relation to Superman) proclaims to her boyfriend that she prefers an open relationship:

I would never curl my lip at a dazzling diamond clip 

Though the clip meant "Let 'er rip," I'd not say "nay."

How about: I would never shake my head at a guy who's good in bed 

Though the bed meant "Give me head," I'd say "Ok."

She continues:

There's an oil man known as Tex who is keen to write me checks.

 Tex's checks, I fear, mean that sex is here to stay.

Gay version: There's a hung man known as Block, who is keen to show me his cock

Block's cock, I say, means that we are gay to stay...

And two gangsters sing that knowing some Shakespearean quotes will enhance your ability to seduce or sexually assault women:

If your blonde won't respond when you flatter  her, tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer.

Gay version: If the guy in your bed tries to block your cock, tell him what Gratiano told Shylock. 

They continue:

 If she fights when her clothes you are mussing, "What are clothes? "Much Ado About Nothing."

Gay version: If he bites when your cock he is.... sorry, I got nothing.

And the chorus boys complain that it's too hot to get laid tonight:

I'd like to meet with my baby tonight, get off my feet with my baby tonight

But no repeat for my baby tonight cause it's too darn hot.  

I'd like to stop by my baby tonight, and blow my top with my baby tonight

 But I'd be a flop for my baby tonight, cause it's too darn hot.

That one is gay enough as it stands.

Coming out with Barry Manilow. That's right, I said "Barry Manilow"

Speaking of singers that you couldn't avoid hearing during the 1970s, I spent my entire three years at Rocky High and most of my four years at Augustana College  running in the other direction while Barry Manilow's syrupy love! love! love! love! crooning spewed forth from transistor radios, car radios, the p.a. at school, record stores, tv...but there was no escape

Junior High.

1. "Mandy":

I remember all my life, raining down as cold as ice.

Well, he got that right -- all my life, I've remembered that song, no matter how much I don't want to.

2."It's a Miracle": 

It's a miracle, a true-blue spectacle....

At least he's over his relationship with Mandy.

3. "Could it be Magic"

Baby take me, high upon a hillside, high up where the stallion meets the sun...come, come, come into my... 

This is the first song I heard that I knew was about having sex, although I wouldn't be asking anyone to come, come, come into my....for a few years.

Tenth Grade:

4. "I Write the Songs": 

I write the songs that make the young girl cry...I am music, and I write the songs...

Barry Manilow is music?  Rather full of himself, isn't he?

5. "Trying to Get That Feeling Again": 

I've gone up, down,all around,  trying to get that feeling again. 

You just need to relax, Barry.  It can be tiring going...um....up, down all around.

6. "This One's for You": 

This one will never sell, they'll never understand, I don't even sing it well.

He's got that right.  The song won't sell, he doesn't sing it well.

Eleventh Grade:

7. "Weekend in New England." 

Last night I waved goodbye, now it seems years -- I'm back in the city, where nothing is clear.  

I'd rather be in the city than stuck in a small factory town in the Midwest.

8. "Looks Like We Made It": 

Do you love him as much as I love her, and will that love be strong when the old feelings stir?  

Barry is talking to someone in love with a man about how much he loves a woman.  I can't figure out what's going on.

Twelfth Grade: 

9. "Daybreak" 

It's daybreak if you want to believe, it's daybreak, no time to grieve. 

Repeat 38 times. Don't try to figure out what it means. I hav no idea.

10. "Can't Smile without You": 

Can't laugh, can't sing, finding it hard to do anything.  

So that's why his singing is so bad -- he's broken up with someone!   Quick, get back together!

11. "Even Now"

Even now I think about you when I'm climbing the stairs, and I wonder what to do so she won't see.  

You still thinking about Mandy?  It's been four years!

More after the break

Kelvin and Keefe, Matchmakers: A Cousin Karl and Percy Story, Part 1

 

As Kelvin waited for Percy at one of the little blue tables outside the Lost Dog Cafe, he couldn't help flashing back to the first time they met, when Jesse hired him to design the church's executive board room.  Kelvin wasn't out to anyone yet, not even to himself, really, and seeing the flashy, unapologetic, loud-and-proud interior designer was a revelation. Percy became his best friend, and his go-to guy for anything about gay history and culture, from the Stonewall Riots to GLAAD Awards.  But today Kelvin had a different kind of request.  He wasn't sure that a guy who came out at age ten could understand.

They chatted about ordinary things, rated a few bulges, and then Kelvin got down to business. "Percy, I had an ulterior motive in inviting you to lunch today.  Remember my Cousin Karl?  You met him at the wedding reception."

"Big guy, black beard, baby face, smile that lights up the whole state?  Sure, he's hard to miss."

"He came out to Keefe and I last night."  

"Wait -- out as gay? Isn't he over 40?"

"43.  But don't look so surprised.  I was 34 when I figured it out, remember, and Karl has been even more sheltered than me.  He didn't even know that 'gay' was a thing until he saw Keefe and I kissing one night."

"43, imagine that.  He's got a lot of catching up to do."

"Karl wants a boyfriend, but he's so soft and sweet, a little kid, really, that we don't trust him on Grindr, or Gay Christian Mingle .  And you're like the gay expert of South Carolina. You belong to every club, you know everybody, and so..."

"So you want me to play matchmaker?  Sure, glad to do it.  Off the top of my head, I can think of four or five candidates.  Let's start with Brett.  He goes to my gym -- built like a bodybuilder, chest for days! He'll be able to appreciate Karl's muscles."

The full story, with NSFW illustrations is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Jake Short: Disney's ANT Farm genius plays a lot of girl-crazy teens, but his recent social media posts reveal...

 

Link to the n*de photos

Jake Short was born in 1997 in Indianapolis.  After some early roles, he became teencom-famous in ANT Farm (2011-14), a Disney Channel sitcom about a middle school for gifted students (ANT stands for Advanced Natural Talents).  His Fletcher Quinby is an artistic genius, and of course heterosexual, with two girlfriends before the series ends.

This led directly to Mighty Meds (2013-15) with comic book fanboys Oliver and Kaz (Jake, Bradley Steven Perry) discovering a hospital for superheroes, and eventually acquiring superpowers of their own. They have a gay-subtext romance, although each dates girls.

Jeffrey James Lippold, top photo, played The Crusher in 15 episodes.

In the spin-off Lab Rats: Elite Force (2016-17), they team up with superheroes Bree and Chase.

We can say that the adult Jake appeared in All Night (2018), a tv series about high schoolers locked in the school overnight for a bacchanal involving s*x and other illicit activity.

And Man of the House (2018), about two divorced sisters who move in together, and their son has to learn "what manhood means when he's entirely surrounded by females."  Just grow a pair and make them a lesbian couple.

The First Team (2020), only lasted for six episode, but it's from the BBC, so that may not indicate a failure.  It follows three players in a British Premiere League Football Team (the most prestigious).

More after the break

Drake Bell: A lot has happened since "Drake and Josh," including some gay videos posted when he was a 35/37 year old adult

   

Link to the n*de photos of Drake at the adult ages of 24, 35, and 37

Ok, this post has been deleted and reinstated, and then deleted again, and I can't figure out what is triggering the censors.  Dozens of other posts are much more *xplicit, and the censors don't care. I removed every word that could possibly be construed as referring to someone who is y*ung, and anything that refers to s*x,  Let's see what happens:
    

You probably remember Drake Bell from Drake and Josh (2004-2007), the Nickelodeon teencom about mismatched stepbrothers, with Drake the schemer ("let's break into the school and stack all the desks upside down) and Josh (Josh Peck) the stick-in-the-mud ("but we have to study for our math test").   It was loaded down with gay subtexts, including an nearly-out gay couple, Craig and Eric.  (Dudes even hold hands during a crisis).

You may have gone to his first post-Drake movie, College (2008), where he and his three friends head for a "college weekend" (a weekend of fun activities to convince high schoolers to apply).  Theirs involves nonstop shenanigans, all intensely heteronormative. At least Drake is taped to a statue of the founder with his backside exposed to the world. I think it's supposed to be humiliating.

Drake was 24 years old when he filmed the scene. 

You may have watched A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner (2011), to see how Nickelodeon would handle the gay-subtext classic.  They flubbed it.  Timmy is absurdly hetero-horny. 

And then you probably relegated Drake to nostalgic memories, not paying a lot of attention to what he's been doing for the last few years.

I checked.  Brace yourself.  It's a lot.

More Fairly Oddparents movies.

A lot of stuff with former coster Josh Peck 

A lot of voice work, especially Spider-Man in various cartoons, even Phineas and Ferb, and a video game.

An Elf named Snowflake

Ben the Wizard in Bad Kids of Crestview Academy

The reality series Splash, where celebrities dive for charity.

The paranormal series Silverwood

Damian in American Satan

A career in music, with six studio albums, eighteen singles, twelve music videos, and sold-out concerts.  Some songs in Spanish that top the Mexican charts. 

Drake's personal life after the break.  Warning: it gets rocky.  

The Hollow: Adam and Kai Hugging

Three teenagers awaken in a locked room with no windows or doors.  They don't remember who they are, but slips of paper in their pockets give them names.  As they try to escape, distinct personalities emerge:














Adam (voiced by Adrian Petriw, left) is the strong (as in super-strong), logical, level-headed leader.

Kai (Connor Parnall) is the skittish, easily frightened goofball, but a mechanics whiz (he can rewire a spaceship).

Mira (Ashleigh Ball) has mystical powers, like being able to talk to animals.

They escape, only to find themselves in a secret scientific facility, chased by devil-dogs.

Then in a world occupied by minotaurs from Greek mythology, who intend to eat them.

They escape into a lair of witches who want to inhale their souls, meet the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, rewire a spaceship, crash it into the ocean, meet the Cyclops of Greek mythology, and...

More after the break

Adam Devine's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Forehead presses, party poopers, divine d*cks, and Kermit the Frog

 

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Adam Devine.  I've already posted almost all of his n*de shots available, but not to worry, there are photos of other guys.

Link to the photos of other guys

1. The "I lost my swimsuit in the ocean" excuse is getting old, buddy.

2. Adam's physique has been compared to Schwarzenegger's.  Not favorably, just compared.

3.  "I know he's not much to look at, but he makes me laugh." Girl, you’re looking in the wrong place .

.

4. Oh, for...three years of Kelvin/Keefe forehead presses, and now this!  Just kiss him, and save us all a lot of aggravation!

5. In The Out-Laws, Adam plays a hapless bank manager who butts heads with rival manager Dean Winters, here giving an Oz nude salute.

6. Adam's new commode, for turning bathroom time into fun time. It looks nice and all, but how do you poop?

More Adam after the break

Jake Kelley's Hot Photos, Part 1: The Maniac K*d and his buff buds and hung homies

  

Link to the n*de photos

In Righteous Gemstones Episode 2.1, we flash back to 1968, when the young Eli Gemstone (Jake Kelley) is working as a professional wrestler named the Maniac K*d, and, later, a hired goon for promoter Glendon Marsh.  

The Maniac K*d's backside

He is best friends with Glendon's son, Junior (Tommy Nelson), who will reappear in 2022 his life as a long-lost friend, potential enemy, and possible ex-lover.  Pictured: Ross Lynch.

Jake Kelley had his tv debut as the young Eli, but he and two friends, Mavro Diamante and Harrison Chandler (below), were co-presidents of Steal the Sun Productions, producing "web-series, documentaries, and award-nominated short films." 

In 2023, Jake wrote, produced, and starred in Dogwood, a miniseries about a screenwriter -- Mavro; a director -- Harrison; and an actor -- guess who?  

They form an "unwaivering alliance."  I wonder if any of them are gay.

Jake has also worked in theater and modeling.

More Jake after the break.  

"Waterloo Road," Episode 10.1 or 14.1: "What I did last summer," with a new headmaster, a side piece, dark secrets, and d*cks

Link to the d*cks

Amazon Prime recommends its new teen soap, Waterloo Road, set in a private school in Manchester, England, but they are lying.  When I was looking for Adam Thomas, who plays a private school student in Episode 1.1, I found a  "where are they now" article and a n*de photo of someone in his thirties.

Turns out that it's not produced by Amazon, and it's not new.  It premiered on BBC 1 in 2006, and it is now in Season 15 according to the IMDB, and Season 10 according to Amazon.  That's not just a misdirection, it's two outright lies.  Would you like to read my new novel, "Wuthering Heights"?  I didn't write it, and it came out in 1847, but I just bought a copy, so it's new, and it's mine.

But with those two misunderstandings (lies!) cleared up, I could use some British blokes' physiques, so let's go with Episode 14.1 (2024) according to the IMDB, or 10.1 (2014) according to Amazon.

Scene 1: In a kitchen full of boxes, Mr. Absurdly Clueless,  who is about 90 years old, asks if his suit is ok.  His wife, also around 90,  calls him attractive and kisses him.  He's the new headmaster, and she's an art teacher.  She is concerned that the other teachers will think she got the job just because she's living with him, but he insists that he hired her because she was the most attractive...um, best qualified...applicant.  They kiss another 15 times. Ok, they're heterosexual, I get it.  Can we move on?  I'm already running low on time due to watching the first 15 minutes of Episode 1.1 before figuring out the Amazon misdirections (lies!).

Fortunately, their teenage great-grandchildren come in.  Will they hose the hypersexual oldsters down?

No such luck.  "We're going out to dinner so go wait in the car while your great-grandmother and I grind our body parts together and try to swallow each other's faces."  And they do.

It's 10.1, 2014.  Leo Flanagan, who plays teenage great-grandson Floyd, is now a grown adult with a basket.

Scene 2:  They were lying about going to dinner (learning from Amazon?): all four of them arrive at Waterloo Road School.  Only twelve more goodbye kisses.

Mr. Absurdly Clueless parks himself in front of the school and says "Hello" to everyone entering.  They stare like he's looney, and I have to admit, he is. Go to your office!  Kevin, who uses arm braces, can't escape fast enough, so Absurdly Clueless grabs him and congratulates him on being able to move around without an attendant. Exactly what a disabled person wants to hear.

Apparently it's a new disability: when Kevin enters, everyone applauds.  Absurdly Clueless, thinks that they are applauding him. 

Scene 3: A blond woman asks another teacher, George,  if he's heard from the insurance company yet about the cruise.  Apparently they spent three weeks living in a literal sewer pipe. He is tired of her constant questions about the insurance money, and wants to break up. 

Scene 4: A student walks past garbage bins in the poor part of town and enters a flat with terrible wallpaper.  A woman sneaks in, having been beat up by her boyfriend, and he asks why she keeps dating abusive men.  She gives him some money for dinner and that.   

Cut to the teacher's lounge, where Absurdly Clueless welcomes himself and announces that he will be coming 'round to every class today.  He asks everyone to reflect on why they chose to become a teacher (liberal arts major -- no other jobs available) and why they chose Waterloo Road (was offered a job).

Oh, not just reflect: they have to go around the room and say why they became a teacher and chose Waterloo Road.  I hate it when teachers go around the room and force us to say things.

Suddenly Absurdly Clueless's wife shows up at school -- not the side piece he was swallowing the tongue of earlier -- with his two sons.  One hugs him.  The other, named Justin, hugs the wife.  Who died?

More after the break.

The "Happy Death Day" Bulge

Ok, who are these guys?  I'm particularly interested in the one on the left, the one with the sock shoved down his pants. Google says that they are Jessica Rothe and Ruby Modine, but that's obviously wrong.

It's at the premiere of Happy Death Day (2017).  The one on the right is the director, Christopher Landon (son of Michael), who is gay.  But who is the one on the left?

The plot: a girl named Tree (Jessica Rothe) is murdered on her birthday, and must keep reliving the day over and over until she discovers the identity of her killer.

So a time-loop combined with a teen-kill.

Tree is apparently quite the player: she wakes up on the morning of her birthday in the bed of a one-night stand, Carter Davis (Israel Broussard).

Not the guy on the left.

Then, after refusing a cupcake from her sorority sister Lori (Ruby Modine), she meets with the married professor who she's dating, Dr. Butler (Charles Aitken).

Not the guy on the left.

 Later, on the way to the party, she is murdered by someone wearing a school mascot costume.

More after the bfreak

Gemstones Season 1 Finale: Judy and Kelvin start to heal, Scotty joins the family, and we say goodbye with some random d*cks

Link to the Season Finale D*cks

Showrunner Danny McBride has stated that he wants every season of his programs to tell a complete story: no callbacks to previous seasons, and no cliffhangers.  By the finale, every plotline has been resolved and every character development arc has been concluded.  He also hates downbeat endings, so the season finale tells us that "they lived happily ever after"  

The Season 1 primary plot featured Gideon betraying the family, first by blackmailing Jesse over the tape of his wild party, then by planning to steal the Easter offerings from the church, plus betraying Scotty by not acknowledgeing their romantic bond.  Secondary plots involved Eli butting heads with Rev. Seasons over his church expansion, and Kelvin and Judy dealing with obstacles in their relationships.  The finale ties all of the plotlines into a single theme: forgiveness.

Back in Freeman's Gap :  Church. In his sermon, Eli describes his visit to Aimee-Leigh's childhood home, where he interacted with her spirit.  Cut to a flashback of the siblings collecting the money that Baby Billy and Tiffany stole from Scotty's van.

He continues: "We move through this world, crossing paths with friends, family...and I believe that the goal of all that colliding is to make us appreciate one another, to find empathy." Shots of Martin, Mandy (Chad's wife), and Chad, sitting far away from her. 

Rev. Seasons is redeemed: Cut to a flashback of Rev. Seasons  (Dermot Mulroney) working in a hardware store (Baptist churches are autonomous, so if one closes you don't automatically get placed elsewhere). Eli offers him a job as pastor of the satellite church that Baby Billy abandoned. Rev. Seasons was a secondary Big Bad, but Eli stole his flock, so we are not sure who needs forgiveness more.

"If you're not rooting for your enemy's salvation, you are not in line with what the Spirit wants."  Shots of Dot Nancy and her parents, BJ, Keefe (working security again), Martin's wife, a couple I don't recognize, and Jesse's crew (Matthew, Gregory, and Levi).  Notice that BJ and Keefe are linked, structurally presented as the partners of Judy and Kelvin.  They won't begin sitting together until Season 3. 

Scotty is redeemed: "Aimee-Leigh knew this. That's why she wanted to help, no matter what."  Shot of the spirit of Aimee-Leigh sitting in the congregation, glowing in ethereal light, with Scotty beside her. 

He looks more bemused than happy, surprised that he has been forgiven, wondering how he came to be sitting here, after all the pain he caused Gideon and the Gemstone family.  Remember that both BJ and Keefe had to suffer symbolic deaths before they could unite with their partners.  Did Scotty, in death, become Gideon's partner?  

Maybe, in spite of his machinations, posturing, criticism, and threats, in spite of the hints of abuse, this is what Scotty wanted all along.  After all, the goal of the two schemes was to draw Gideon away from his family so they could spend their lives together. Maybe he couldn't admit it to himself, so it came out in random bursts, like calling Gideon "cute," taking him out on dates, and finally admitting, just before his death, that "you broke my heart."  Aimee Leigh helped him understand what he needed, what he wanted, and she has made him a Gemstone.

Baby Billy grifts: "For when you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you."  Cut to Baby Billy and Tiffany selling their new gimmick, pictures of his trip to heaven. I guess they haven't been redeemed yet. 

More after the break

Michael Seater: The "Life with Derek" guy grows up, gets a boyfriend, and displays a Derek d___

  

Link to the Derek d___

Born in Toronto in 1987, Michael Seater first appeared on screen in Night of the Living (1997), a short about a guy whose father turns into a zombie.  Two years of minor roles followed, and then Michael hit YTV/Nickelodeon gold with The Zack Files (2000-2002)

What gay teenager didn't rush home from school to watch the dreamy Zack(Robert Clark), and his buds Cam and Spencer (Jake Epstein, Michael) face bizarre paranormal events?  Like shoes that make it impossible to stop running, a cereal that makes him age rapidly, or an overdue library book that turns him into Alice in Wonderland. 

He went on to play paranormal investigator Lucas in Strange Days at Blake Holsey High (2002-2006). Noah Reid, later Patrick's boyfriend/husband on Schitt's Creek, played his best buddy Marshall, and he also had a love/hate relationship with school bully Vaughn (Robert Clark again).  They are sucked into a wormhole, turn invisible, repeat the same day over and over.  In my favorite episode, a chemistry accident sends Marshall through the periodic table: he becomes hydrogen, oxygen, neon, and so on.  Meanwhile, his older brother Grant arrives at the school and turns into sodium.  Marshall has changed into chlorine, so they stabilize as salt. Just go with it.

Left: Robert Clark

Next Michael moved into the more traditional teencom Life with Derek (2005-2009): He has a sibling rivalry with his adopted sister Casey (Ashley Leggat) and, in the first season, an intense, passionate, joined-at-the-hip best buddy, Sam (Kit Weyman).  Then it's girls, girls, girls every second of every day.

In Regenesis (2006-2007), Michael plays homeless teenager Owen, who moves in with paranormal investigator David (Peter Outerbridge, left), but ends up mentally damaged after an experimental treatment to cure his drug addiction 

Michael's adult roles have involved fewer subtexts:

18 to Life (2010-2011): newlywed18-year olds move in with their parents.

The "virgin getting laid" comedy Sin Bin (2012).  

The "virgin getting laid before the world ends comedy" Sadie's Last Days on Earth (2016).

In 10 episodes of Bomb Girls, 2013, set during World War II, Michael's bomb engineer Ivan dates closeted lesbian Betty, then Betty's crush Kate, then Nazi spy Helen.  Then he dies in a bomb factory explosion.  No gay male characters.

In The Wedding Planners, which aired for seven episodes in March-May 2020, Michael and his sisters plan weddings.  It doesn't look like any of them featured same-sex couples.

Most recently Michael played a gay-coded villain on The Murdoch Mysteries.  In 2009, gay student James Gillies and his boyfriend murder a professor in a reflection of the Leopold and Loeb case.  In 2023, he returns to torment Murdoch, kidnap The Girl, and survive various lethal stunts.  The show features a gay couple, so it's not just queer villains, but still, one doesn't expect such a blatant stereotype in 2023. 

And in Life with Luca, 2023, he returns to Derek as a grown-up.  He and Casey each have children who replicate the sibling-rivalry of their youth -- Luca is Casey's son.

More after the break