Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

When I moved to West Hollywood in 1985, everyone was watching Movie Macabre (1981-86), starring Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (Cassandra Peterson).  A throwback to the horror movie hosts of the 1950s and 1960s, Elvira was vampire-like being with a Valley Girl accent ("As if!") and a revealing Morticia Addams outfit.

She showed bad movies like The Fall of the House of Usher (with peplum star Mark Damon not taking his clothes off), Horror Hospital (with Robin Askwith threatened by gay psycho surgeons), and Werewolf of Washington (with Dean Stockwell, werewolves, hippies, and hippie werewolves).

In a tradition that would extend to Mystery Science Theater 3000, Elvira made snarky comments about the movies.  And in the tradition of drag queen performers, she made lots of self-referential jokes about her sexual escapades and cleavage ("I'm glad to see you're back...and you're glad to see my front!").  

Gay fans loved her, and she returned the affection, appearing at AIDS benefits and Gay Pride parades through the 1980s.

And not only gay fans.  She was everywhere, branding her image to sell everything from beer to Halloween costumes.

The feature film Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988) sends Elvira to the small town of Falwell (named after Jerry Falwell, the poster boy for 1980s homophobia), where she befriends all of the town's outcasts, butts heads with local bigots and romances an uptight theater manager (professional hunk Danny Greene).

Since Elvira is immortal, she continues to perform, cleavage and all.  She continually hosts new versionfs of Elvira's Movie Macabre., on cable in the 2000s and now on Amazon Prime.

See also: Bill Cable: 1980s n*de model and gay video performer, boyfriend of Elvira and Pee-Wee Herman, rock star in "Basic Instinct"

Danny Greene: Professional Hunk of the 1980s

Carrie, 2026: The girl who trashed her prom is back, with doomsday preppers, school lock-downs, and a gay teacher, plus Rahul and Arik d*cks

Link to the n*de photos

It's been 50 years since Stephen King's Carrie was first humiliated at her high school prom, and used her telekinetic powers to destroy the school. We have the original novel and the 1976 movie starring Sissy Spacek and John Travolta (plus new versions in 2002 and 2013), so why do we need a new Carrie tv series in 2026?  Because the world is much darker place now, and the themes of fundamentalism, bullying, and being an outsider are more relevant than ever.  Besides, according to the buzz, there's going to be queer content. so let's check.

Each episode is named after a high school class, except for the first, just entitled "First Period."

Scene 1: A series of 911 calls saying that the high school is on fire during the prom, it has spread into the town, everyone is dead. 200 people killed, the whole town destroyed.

Some time later, Focus Character Sue goes on a podcast to tell us that there's something we don't know about what happened in Chamberlain: the whole town destroyed, 200 people killed.  'We were kids, just trying to do our best."

Scene 2: While a conspiracy theorist rants on the radio, a guy (Talmoh Penniket, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) leaves his decrepit house and gets into his redneck pickup truck.  The mailbox is locked, and there's a "no soliciting" sign.   He drives to a construction site and gets to work. Uh-oh, a huge pile of bricks falls down on him, crushing him.

Cut to the police talking to the crew foreman.  Somebody has to claim the body, "Did Mr. White ever mention anyone to you?  A boyfriend, a girlfriend?"  Hey, no heteronormativity!  And on Amazon Prime! 

"No.   He didn't talk much.  All I know is that he was a vet, and a bit of a doomsday prepper."

Next the property manager let the police into his house, so they can look for his next-of-kin.  Didn't he have an emergency contact?  I have one at my job, and I don't work with gigantic bricks.  

There's dinner settings for three -- "I thought he lived alone" -- and a thumping in the closet: a mother and daughter hiding.  The daughter is, of course, Carrie.

Scene 3: Back on the podcast, Focus Character Sue is asked to tell them more about Carrie White.  Other students chime in: she was "real quiet," a bully, "genuinely kind," a troublemaker, a victim, a hero. a monster, "my friend."  A social worker adds that Carrie was born in the house, and never left.   They were "a cult of three," with no phones, no television, no internet.  She was "stunningly uninformed," but extremely smart.

Mom hadn't been out of the house in 15 years, either.  The judge agreed that she could keep custody, but she had to go to work, and Carrie had to go to school.

Scene 4: The first day of school.  Focus Character Sue fixes breakfast for her two sisters (aren't there any boys in this town?). Mean Girl checks on her Duke University application -- nothing yet -- and suggests that Dad (Michael Trucco, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) build them a new gym to sway her admission.  She wants crepes for breakfast, but Dad refuses and insults his ex-wife.

Cut to a girl putting oatmeal on her face. Everyone rejects her.  Next she tries brown toothpaste.  Now she's a superstar, loved by the whole school.  Wait -- it's an ad?  Impossible.  No ad could be so idiotic.

Mean Girl picks up Sue in her tank-sized car, and they drive to school.  They're both applying to Duke, where they plan to be roommates.

Mom drops Carrie off at school, and cautions: "Take pity on them. Most of them aren't awake. Especially the teachers.  Don't let them fool you."  When I was growing up in the Nazarene Church, they told us that sinners would be trying to brainwash us every moment, so you had to be on guard.  The most casual comment, like "What did you do over the weekend," was suspect.

She enters the school all happy, but is horrified by the metal detector installed to keep school shooters out.  I am, too. Her cross on a chain sets off the alarm.  I would interpret that as an attack on Christianity. Mean Girl and Sue, watching  advise that she stop being poor: precious metals don't set it off.

Next she is horrified by the sight of two girls kissing. Homophobic, or did your limited education not mention the exitence of LGBTQ+ people?  

Weird that no one stares at her for her 19th century pioneer dress. 

Guidance Counselor Morton (Tim Bagley) helps her find her first class.  The actor is gay, but I imagine the character is straight by default.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: a n*de dude to tide you over.

More after the break

Joey Pollari: American Horror Story's Ben has flirted with Nick Robinson and kissed Tab Hunter, but is he gay in real life? With Nick and Joey d*cks

Link to the n*de photos. 

 Last night we watched the premiere of American Horror Story, Season 13, entitled "13."  It was about what you would expect from AHS: an opening where "Are you scared?" sounds like "Great skin," heavy-handed symbolism,  people introduced with their back turned so we'll be surprised when they turn around, gore, homophobia, and a lot of cute guys.  In this case, just one cute guy, Ben (Joe Pollari), who has triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13).  

Unfortunately, he is dating a girl with triskaidekaphilia (love of the number 13). For her birthday (on the 13th), she wants to visit the 13 Cayman Islands with her 12 closest friends (making 13).  Ben doesn't want to go, for obvious reasons, but at the last moment, he decides to make a mad dash to the airport, and board Flight 1313, where he is in seat 13d. The plane crashes, and everyone is killed -- except Ben.

Next he gets a job as a hospice aid to an infinitely wealthy vampire-like being whose apartment is full of Satanic imagery, plus the real Last Supper (with Jesus and 12 disciples making 13).   Meanwhile,  a coven of witches gets upset because "something wicked this way comes," a serial killer clown murders 12 students and the teacher at a clown college (making 13), and Jessica Lange resurrects a lot of characters who died in previous seasons (including two Evan Peters). 

Heck with a review. Let's just profile the hunky Joey Pollari.  

Joey was born in 1994, grew up in Minneapolis, and broke into acting after attending a scouting event -- the next day agents started calling.  After taking acting lessons and doing a guest spot on Cold Case, he landed his first starring role in Disney's Skyrunners (2009). Tyler (Joey) stumbles upon a spaceship, which gives him magical powers.  He uses them to help his older brother Nick (Kelly Blatz) win The Girl of His Dreams.  

Well, at least Tyler isn't winning a girl.

Next he starred in The In-Betweeners (2012), about four high schoolers who are inexperienced in the bedroom and want to meet girls. And more girls. It was on MTV, what do you expect?  

Eden (2014) is Lost without the paranormal: A soccer team (plus The Girl) is stranded on a desert island.  As far as I can tell, there's no gay content, but Michael Cardelle (left) shows his stuff.

The gay roles begin with the anthology series American Crime, Season 2 (2014).  A high school student is  outed when "incriminating" photos are published online.  He accuses three jocks, including Erik (Joey), of drugging and doing nonconsensual stuff with him.  Then Erik is forcibly outed, and claims that it was consensual.  Then Taylor murders one of them.  It's all very sordid, and I thought we had moved beyond "being gay is a horrible secret that can never be revealed." 

Love, Simon (2018), a movie about a closeted high schooler (Nick Robinson) who has to wrangle finding the identity of his crush and dealing with a blackmailer who threatens to reveal his secret.  Another terrible secret that must never be revealed?  I'm seeing some internalized homophobia in these portrayals

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Nick's d*ck and backside.

Joey plays Lyle, a server at a restaurant who flirts with Simon, but is actually interested in his female friend. 

More after the break

Travis Turner: Short Guy Brigade, gay subtexts, cutesy cartoons, Christmas romcoms, and hip-hop. With n*de photos and Drake Bell

Link to the n*de dudes

In Final Destination: Blood Legacy (2025), a 1960s Elevator Operator encourages the soon-to-be-skewered couple to squeeze into his already overcrowded elevator, in a scene reminiscent of the "Room for one more, honey" episode of The Twilight Zone.  Then, when things start crashing, he tries to take everyone down the elevator again -- and ends up splattered. 

Look at this guy! He's shorter than Noah Bromley, who plays the evil Penny-Throwing Kid.  Of course I've got to research him.

He's Travis Turner, born in Oliver, British Columbia, in 1987,  raised in nearby Penticton in the Sylix Okangan Nation, although he doesn't mention being First Nation.  Cody Kearsley, Moose in the Riverdale series, is from Oliver also.  Maybe they knew each other.

After high school Travis painted oil rigs and sold vacuum cleaners, then moved to Vancouver to study film at Langara College.  He received his diploma in 2009.  .

He appeared in a lot of shorts in 2009-2010, such as "Henchin'," "Scars," "Snow Tramp," and "Dream a Little Dream," plus the Vancouver-based  Easter Bunny Bloodbath (2010), as one of the victims of a psycho-killer dressed as the Easter Bunny.  Here he appears in an illustration in the novelization.  There was a novelization?

Travis' first high-profile role was in a 2010 episode of Caprica, the Battlestar Galactica spin-off.  He played Ashok, a resident of a virtual world who briefly interacts with Tamara and Heracles ( Richard Harmon).

According to the IMDB, Travis is best known for Final Destination: Blood Lines (2025).

A 2024 episode of Wild Cards, a Canadian police procedural featuring a "will they or won't they" couple, Max (a lady) and Cole (Giacomo Gianniotti).  They investigate a missing butcher in a small town, and find a murderous cult.  Travis plays Daryl, who doesn't appear in the plot synopsis.

A 2023 episode of Upload, where you can be uploaded to a virtual afterlife when you die (if they get to your body right away).  Focus couple Nora and Nathan (Robbie Ammell) have returned to the real world, look for jobs, and discover that Nathan has a duplicate (apparently you can return to the real world multiple times).  Travis plays Tom, who does not appear in the episode synopsis.

The anime Dead Dead Demons Dededede Destruction (2024): Two high schoolers (a boy and a girl, of course) face an alien invasion.  He voices the English dub of Makato Tainuma, a boy who dresses in girls' clothes.  According to TV Tropes, he denies being gay or trans; he just wants to look cute. 

Some Assembly Required (2014-16), a Nickelodeon teencom starring Kolton Stewart as a teenager who becomes CEO of a toy company, and hires all of his friends. Travis played Aster Vanderburg, the snobbish, snarky, fashion-obsessed head of the Design Department (named after the Gilded Age Mrs. Aster).  He's gay-coded for 45 episodes before queerbaiting viewers with The Girl of His Dreams.

More after the break

Stephen Geoffreys: The quirky queer teen from "Fright Night" and "976-Evil" bulks up and becomes a gay video star

Link to the n*de dudes

If you've seen Heaven Help Us (1985), about boys in a Catholic boarding school (on HBO MAX), then you've seen Stephen Geoffreys' d*ck and backside.  For now, he's the short guy expressing hetero-mania with Kevin Dillon and Patrick Dempsey.

Stephen was born in Cincinnati in 1964, attended a performing arts high school and New York University, and made his mark as a theatrical actor.  In 1984, he was nominated for a Tony for his performance in The Human Comedy, based on the William Saroyan novel.  

Then he humped...I mean jumped into movies:

After Heaven Help Us, Fraternity Vacation (1985): Two frat brothers (Tim Robbins, Cameron Dye) take their nerdy pledge Wendell (Stephen) to Palm Springs, where they compete over a bikini babe.  It got lousy reviews, even for a teen s*x comedy.

Fright Night (1985): Evil Eddie (Stephen), sidekick to high schooler Charlie (William Ragsdale), is heavily queer-coded; as heavily as you could be in 1985.  The Vampire (Chris Sarandon) seduces him like a potential boyfriend. Then eats him.

Queer-coded guys in horror movies!  Stephen had found his niche!  

During the next few years, he played queer-coded guys in episodes of Amazing Stories and The Twilight Zone, and in 976-EVIL (1988), his second most famous movie.  

Unfortunately, in the 1980s, queer-coded usually meant evil.  He found himself playing a nasty prison inmate in The Chair (1988), a nasty drug dealer in Moon 44 (1990), where he didn't even get to kiss Brian Thompson, and a nasty rent boy in Wild Blade (1991), reviewed as "a painfully awful piece of sludge."  

But he had performed Shakespeare and William Saroyan!  At this point Stephen gave up.  

On Hollywood, that is.  

He had developed a muscular physique, so why not find his new niche in gay films? First as Larry Bert, then as Sam Ritter, Stephen appeared in 29  over the next decade.  

More after the break. 

"Buddy": A homicidal unicorn and two queer-coded kids, but is there any buddy-bonding? With Topher Grace, Michael Shannon, and Sergey

 

I was interested in seeing Buddy (2026), a horror parody of 1980s-1990s children's shows like Barney the Dinosaur  and Pee-Wee's Playhouse,featuring a homicidal anthropomorphic unicorn (voiced by Keegan Michael Key, with Sergey Zhuravsky, left, inside the suit).

I was a Pee-Wee fan back in the day, and it stars Luke Speakman (below) and Tristan Borders, child actors with a lot of gay-positive work.  Maybe there will be some queer codes, or at least some buddy bonding.  But after reading a plot synopsis, I'm going to give it a miss.  Here's why.

Spoiler alert: I go through the whole movie.

In the first scenes, the children's show It's Buddy features the Unicorn and his four child pals: Josh, Wade, Oliver, and Freddy (a girl). Three boys -- ample buddy bonding opportunities.

Then Josh (Luke Speakman) rebels, preferring to read his book rather than going to a dance party.  Buddy kills him, says that he's off on a journey to Diamond City, and replaces him with Hannah. But Freddy finds his blood-stained book in the trash and gets suspicious.  She tells her friend Wade that something is wrong.  A boy-girl dyad.

The new line-up is Freddy, Wade, Oliver, and Hannah.  Two boys, with buddy bonding possible, except that Wade already has a girlfriend. 

Freddy and Wade ask Nurse Nancy to talk to Buddy.  He kills her.

Maybe they could run away to Diamond City?   The kids try to escape in a sentient train named Charlie, but Buddy kills him, and the only other adult character, Mailman Miles.

Then Buddy starts cutting  Wade (Caleb Williams).  Freddy sees her chance and sets the unicorn on fire, but he doesn't die, he just becomes partially melted.  He kills Wade, leaving:

Freddy, Oliver, and Hannah. One boy, two girls.  No buddy-bonding potential left.

 They try to escape with Mr. Mailbox, but Buddy kills him.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Grace hires a psychic to contac the spirit in their house. She has a husband, Ben (Topher Grace, left) , and two sons, Derek and Timothy (Seamus Flynn, Bryson JonSteele, below). 

More after the break

Lee H. Montgomery: The Boy Who Fought Mutants

When I moved to Los Angeles in 1985, my mother called every week, usually early Saturday morning, and asked "What stars have you met?"  But she wasn't familiar with most of the actors of my generation, so "Michael J. Fox" got a polite murmur, "Robin Williams" a vague "Oh yeah, I've heard of him," and "Lee H. Montgomery" a blank "Who's that?"

But Lee had more than enough claims to fame (and he was a lot friendlier than Robin Williams).

He played the boy who taught his pet rat to kill in Ben (1972).  If you separate it from the premise, the theme song, sung by Michael Jackson, is a touching evocation of same-sex love:

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for.
With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone,
And you, my friend, will see, you've got a friend in me.

In The Savage is Loose (1974), an entry in the "s*xually dangerous kid" genre that Mark Lester  and Scott Jacoby specialized in, David (Lee) is shipwrecked on a desert island, along with his Dad (George C. Scott) and Mom.  David eventually morphs into the bodybuilding hunk John David Carson (left), and tries to kill his Dad so he can mate with Mom.  About the same plot as What the Peeper Saw, but with more n*dity.

In Burnt Offerings (1976), a married couple (Oliver Reed, Karen Black) moves into a California mansion with their son David (Lee) and elderly Aunt Elizabeth (film legend Bette Davis).  As the house starts asserting  itself, it tries to drown David, and then drops a pillar on him.

Was there a fad for threatening half-naked kids in the 1970s?  It also happened in The Possession of Joel Delaney  and The Omen.

By the way, the hunky Oliver Reed hangs out in a swimsuit.  He showed his altogether during the n*de wrestling scene in Women in Love (1969).

More after the break

Jackson Robert Scott: It prey, Locke boy, gay superhero, muscleman...and a fundamentalist hippie? With some backsides and d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Jackson Robert Scott appeared on the teen idol site with the notice that he played Georgie in It (2017), a movie based on the 1986 Stephen King novel about an transdimensional being who usually manifests as Pennywise the Clown.  I never read the novel or saw any of the movies, but I heard that one of the "losers" who combat "It" has been subjected to homophobic fanboy howls of "he can't be gay!  He's just a teenager!"  Presumably Jackson played the gay one.

Nope, that's Richie Tozer (Finn Wolfhard).  Georgie is the younger brother of focus "loser" Bill Denbrough, who gets sucked down into a storm sewer in It's first appearance. 

Left: Bill is played by Jaeden Martel as a teenager, James McAvoy as an adult (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Finn Wolfhard is too famous for a profile, and it looks like Jackson is working his way to becoming a bonafide muscleman, so I'll continue.

Jackson was born in 2008 in Phoenix, Arizona, and in 2014 started training at at CGTV , a young actors' "incubator" featuring acting lessons with celebrity coaches and connections to media professionals.  He started doing commercials almost immediately, and broke into on-screen acting in 2015, playing a boy kidnapped by a psycho on an episode of Criminal Minds.

2017 was Jackson's annus miribilis.  He played Georgie in It.

Bodie, the son in the family investigating paranormal gateways, in the pilot of Locke & Key.

The young Troy Otto, who will grow up to run a ranch with his brothers in the zombie Apocalypse series  Fear the Walking Dead.

The grown-up Troy (Daniel Sharman, left) is queer-coded, and has a nearly-canonical romance with the probably bi Nick (Frank Dillane, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyyfriends) .

The short Skin (2018) won an Oscar: In a working-class town, a black man smiles at a white boy (Jackson), and his father objects to the interracial fraternization, resulting in a race war.

But The Prodigy (2019) was rated "one of the worst horror movies of the year": is the cute kid/killer (Jackson) possessed by a supernatural entity, or just bad?

After more horror in It Chapter 2 (2019), Jackson took a reprieve with Gossamer Folds (2020): In 1986, Tate (Jackson) moves to a new town and befriends Girl Next Door Gossamer (Alexandra Gray), who isblack and trans.  I don't think they fall in love: Alexandra Gray was 30 years old, not the best choice for a preteen.  In the trailer, Tate looks up the word "f*ggot" in the dictionary, so maybe he's coming out.  

Timothy Richardson played the Handsome Man (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  Don't be shy, spoon with him.

Next Jackson returned to Bodie (actually spelled Bode) in the supernatural horror/fantasy Locke and Key (2020).  He's got a gay uncle (Aaron Ashmore), and his hetero-horny older brother is played by gay actor Connor Jessup.  

And four episodes of Wandavision (2021), as the body reference for Billy Maximoff (Julian Hilliard), son of the witch-turned-1950s housewife Wanda Maximoff.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.4: Gideon is gay, Pontius has four d*cks, and Kelvin is scared. With Hamlet, some German dudes, and Casper the Friendly Ghost

  

 Link to the n*de dudes

Title: "He Goeth Before You Into Galilee."  Matthew 28.7 Mary Magdalene and the other Mary see that the tomb of Jesus is empty.  An angel tells them to tell the disciples that he has risen from the dead, and "he goeth before you into Galilee."  

Welcome to Galilee Gulch.  Baby Billy water-skiing n*de, nice shots of his front and back, which made some viewers angry: "Nobody likes looking at that!  Why can't we see Amber's stuff instead?  Every man on Earth, without exceptions, wants to see Amber n*de." Ever hear of gay men, guys?

Then the Gemstones and Milsaps arrive at Galilee Gulch, a huge "lake house" on Lake Marion, about an hour north of Charleston.  Coincidentally, the house where they filmed is owned by a gay couple.

Pontius complains;  Gideon tells him to not disrespect the lake house, and makes him carry a bag.  He says "Get a life, you dork!"  Abraham agrees: "Such a little a*-kiss."  Abraham has like two lines this season, both about backsides.  Got something on your mind, Buddy?

Some cute attendants, who aren't in the cast list, take care of the wheelchair-using BJ, who complains that the whole place is inaccessible.  He'll be constantly complaining about everything through the episode.

Keefe wants to go waterskiing n*aked, like Uncle Baby Billy, but Kelvin doesn't want to hang dong with his uncle.  Then he forces Keefe to carry the gigantic trunk full of shoes into the house.  That's no way to treat your partner, buddy.  At least he calls Keefe "Sweetheart."

The Breakup Plan: Uncle Baby Billy disapproves of the Eli-Lori relationship -- we aren't told why, but maybe he knows something from Lori's past -- and pushes the siblings into a plan to break them up. The siblings point out that they arranged this weekend retreat because the lake house is full of Aimee-Leigh's things, and will certainly cause Eli to feel guilty about "abandoning Mama." Maybe they can push things along.

They tell the staff to leave Aimee-Leigh's clothes in Eli's bedroom closet.  Angry, he calls "the help" and has them moved to Kelvin and Keefe's room.

Kelvin is pretending to read the complete works of William Shakespeare.  Another clue that we're in the middle of Hamlet.

To refresh your memory: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, uses a "play within a play" to discover that his mother and uncle, Gertrude and Claudius, murdered his father the King so they could take the throne.  He kills his trusted advisor; his girlfriend commits suicide; Gertrude is poisoned; he kills Claudius, then dies himself.  "The rest is silence."  

The New Nanny: Baby Billy is being nasty to his wife and children ("Get them out of here!"), and expresses his hatred for the butch Germanic nanny, Sola (Kirsten Schultze).  So why not fire her?

Gideon is Gay:  Friday dinner. Kelvin, Keefe, Abraham, and BJ are playing blackjack, the others sitting around a kitchen island.  Jesse gets jealous because Gideon is sitting next to Eli, and they shared a joke. 

 Jesse is treating Gideon as a romantic partner who is cheating on him.  That is not really happening, of course, but it is heavily implied that Gideon is gay.  Pontius and Abraham get some queer codes, too.  It's starting to look like Jesse has three gay sons.

Corey apologizes for his reaction to Eli/Lori, and brings in 100 pounds of barbecued pork.  

Jesse's Breakup Plan: After dinner, Keefe goes swimming (distant beefcake shot), and the others hang out or play cornhole.  Corey thinks that Eli is good for his Mama, better than Big D*ck Mitch at the Benz dealership, who she used to date, or is still dating -- he's not sure.  

Jesse can use this!  He rushes over to Eli and Lori and brings up Big D*ck Mitch in "casual conversation."  Eli gets upset and storms out.

Later, in the bedroom, Lori claims that she doesn't know where Jesse got that idea.  She only dated Mitch twice; they had no chemistry.  Then how does Corey know about the size of his d*ick?  They discuss whether to keep it casual, allow dating other people, or "go steady."  Go steady it is. 

Dress-Me-Ups: In the bedroom, Kelvin shoves the rack of Aimee-Leigh's clothes into the bathroom, then joins Keefe to cuddle on the bed.   

Dig the matching pajamas, except Kelvin's have legs, and Keefe's end above the knee, so you can get to his crotch more easily.

Keefe is reading an obscure comic book called The Zero Patrol, from 1984. Only two issues were published.  The hero is telling someone named Dedalus that "The Princess is still mine."  Daedalus was Keefe's Satanist friend in Season 1; maybe we're looking at Keefe's attempt to protect Kelvin from the Darkness.  Or maybe the prop master just grabbed something that had a muscleman on the cover and wasn't Marvel or DC.

He sets the comic aside so they can watch Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the scene where psycho-killer Jason is shown worshipping the mummified head of his dead mother.  A parallel to the siblings' worship of Aimee-Leigh.  Kelvin gets scared and buries his head into Keefe's crotch (dude, are you scared or flirty?), but Keefe assures him that "she's just doing dress-me-ups." 

The movie also has a parallel to the Gemstones in the character Mark Jarvis (Tom McBride, top photo, no relation to Danny McBride), who uses a wheelchair.  The actor was gay in real life, and did some n*de modeling during the 1980s.  He died of AIDS in 1995.

Jesse thrusts: Down in the rec room, Amber is happy to see Gideon interacting with his brothers, and Jesse again gets jealous. Dude, he's just not into you anymore.  Time to move on. 

Complaining about Eli/Lori,, Jesse asks if Amber would mind if he started dating one of her close friends after she died.  He describes the act in lurid detail, thrusting aggressively as he imagines his father doing it.

Like a Hallmark Movie:  Saturday morning.  The Nanny practices her kung-fu. Baby Billy berates her again.

Cut to a montage of everyone water-skiing, while BJ looks on, angry.

Later, the siblings discuss Eli/Lori again.  Amber thinks it's like a Hallmark movie: two old friends fall in love.  Jesse insults her knowledge of movies.  

So far Jesse, Judy, Baby Billy, and Corey have berated and yelled at their partners.  These relationships are doomed.

Kelvin's Breakup Plan: The family gathers for a performance.  Keefe is waving at the stage with a toy dinosaur. a shot that appeared in the trailer and made fans think he and Kelvin had kids. No, he's waving at Kelvin. Why is a 40-year old man holding a toy dinosaur?

In a parallel to the play "wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king" in Hamlet, the siblings sing -- badly -- about how Mama is in the house, judging everyone, disapproving of the "betrayal." Eli storms off. Feeling guilty, Claudius?

More after the break

12 Forgotten Beefcake Boys of the 1980s

When I was living in West Hollywood during the 1980s, we didn't go to movies much, due to the rampant homophobia. Nearly every movie featured a discussion of how much the main characters hated gay people.  In Teen Wolf, Michael J. Fox protests that he's not a "f__."  In American Werewolf in London, David Naughton calls Prince Charles "a f__"  In Breakfast Club, Judd Nelson writes a warning on his school locker: "Keep out, f___"

But in spite of the homophobia, there was a lot of beefcake.  Men took off their shirts regularly, in frat houses, swimming pools, locker rooms, on wilderness treks.  Some famous, others obscure.  Here are 10 forgotten beefcake boys, actors who surprised us by displaying impressive physiques in one or two movies, and and then vanished.

Or at least never took off their clothes again.

1. Anthony Edwards stripped down to his rather impressive underwear by customs agents in Gotcha (1985).  He went on to teen s*x comedies and eight seasons of ER, but never showed his impressive equipment on screen again.

2. Dan Shor talking to his dad n*de in Strange Behavior (1981).   The backside that "sealed his popularity" in West Hollywood never appeared again, but we got a nice view of his front in Tron (1982).

3, Ilan Mitchell-Smith buddy-bonding in a cut-off t-shirt and blue shorts in underwear in Weird Science (1985).  He retired from acting and became a history professor. Also starring a semi-n*de Michael Anthony Hall and a bare-backside Bill Paxton.

4. Tim Curry lookalike Kevin van Hentenryck runs down the street n*de in Basket Cases (1982).  It's a long shot in the dark, but you can definitely see the bouncing.  There are two more Basket Case movies, but no more Kevin c*cks.

5. Don Michael Paul (left) took his shirt off in  The Brotherhood of Justice (1986) and Aloha Summer (1988) before settling down to a fully-clothed career in writing and directing.  He specialized in horror movies.

6. Nick Corri was  killed while n*ked in Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and went Full Monty in a locker room in Wildcats (1986).  He changed his name to Jsu Garcia and became a spiritual teacher.

More after the break

Jinn: The Archie gang in Jordan, with a gay drug dealer, a Bedouin boy, a demonic being, and an ancient city.

In Episode 1 of the Netflix Arabic-language tv series Jinn (2019), a group of high school students sets out from Riverdale...um, I mean Amman, Jordan...on a field trip to Petra, the famous archaeological site.  

Nasser/Reggie (Mohammed Nizar) has just broken up with Veronica/Mira. 

"How do you spell provocative."

"R-E-G-G-I-E."

So you think he's hot, Arch?   

Fahed/Archie (Yasser al Hadi) is dating good girl Betty/Layla.  

Hassan/Dilton (Zaid Zoubi) is a frizzy-haired know-it-all.

In just seven days, I can make you a man....

Yassim (Sultan Alkhail) is a bullied good boy.  Sorry, I couldn't think of an Archie equivalent.

More after the break