Feb 13, 2025

Caleb Ruminer: From fundamentalist Arkansas to angst drama, softcore straight stuff, gay adult stuff, and gay teases

  


Link to the n*de Caleb and some other dudes


In the teen drama Finding Carter (2014-2015), 16-year old Carter (Kathryn Prescott) discovers that the woman she thinks of as her mother actually kidnapped her when she was three.  She is reunited with her birth family, and must juggle the standard high school "boys! fashion!  mean girls!" drama with soap opera angst: kidnapping, insanity, se xual assault, cancer, drug ab use, murder, "shocking revelations," and "dark secrets."

She has two potential boyfriends, the violent drug dealer Crash (Caleb Ruminer) and the kind, gentle Max (Alex Saxon). 

There are two lesbian characters, Madison and Bird, who face extensive homophobia, go through extensive angst, and date Max before figuring "it" out. 

I've already done a profile of Alex Saxon, so this is about Caleb Ruminer,  which is hard to type without it sounding dirty.  It means "someone who ruminates," fixates on negative thoughts.


Caleb was born in Cabot, Arkansas, about 25 miles north of Little Rock.   Ulp.

He found his passion for acting while singing in church, appearing in church plays, and so on. Ulp.

After graduating from high school, he attended the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, AMDA, in Los Angeles, for two years. Then dropped out because they were too liberal?

His first acting gig was an 2013 episode of Castle, as the brother of a teenager who would grow up to be on death row.

Then came the unyielding angst of Finding Carter 

In a 2014 interview in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (wait -- there are Democrats in Arkansas?), Caleb talks about a struggle with being a Christian and playing a bad boy.  But, he figures, the bad boy is never praised for committing sins, so it's ok.  He found a church in Los Angeles where they talk about how you can be Christian and an actor.  

Ulp.  Doubtless there's some (a lot) of homophobia in our boy's background.

But some pe nises, too (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)


After Carter, Caleb starred in Lethal Seduction (2015), which is what it sounds like: teenager Caleb is seduced by his cougar neighbor, who influences him to do  a lot of deviant stuff.  His mother is also in love with him, so the two psychos have an increasingly violent tug-of-war with Caleb in the middle. Plus he has a teen girlfriend and a best buddy (Sam Lerner, right)

Sam Lerner is best known as Geoff Schwartz on The Goldbergs (2014-23). There's a photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends of him chilling with some very gifted home boys.

Next Caleb had guest spots on:

Episode 1.5 of The World According to Billy Potwin (2018)about a far-right anti-vax 13-year old in a family of liberals. Like Family Ties? 

Episode 1.1 of Strange Ones (2018): "Two enigmatic travelers make their way across a remote landscape," facing paranormal peril. First up: an angst-ridden high school girl conjures a demon.  Wait, a movie entitled The Strange Ones and a tv series called Strange Ones both premiered in 2018.  I may be mixing them up.


Episode 2.3 of Dirty John: Betty Broderick (2020), a true-crime show about the woman who murdered her ex-husband (Christian Slater) and his new wife in 1989.  "Betty takes a desperate step to save her marriage."

Episode 1.1 of The Irrational (2023): A professor (Jesse L. Martin, left) uses his knowledge of human nature to solve murders.  His roommate and best friend is a queer woman.

Caleb's character is a former Marine suffering from PTSD and alcohol abuse.  Figures.

Dude, try a comedy.  They aren't that bad.

More after the break.  

Feb 12, 2025

"Twin Peaks: The Return": Paranormal weirdness 25 years later. See if you can figure it out. With Kyle's backside and James' d*ck

   


Link to the backsides and d*cks

We've been watching the 1990s cult classic Twin Peaks, about paranormal, cryptic, and just weird events befalling FBI agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLaughlan) as he investigates the murder of high schooler Laura Palmer, who had "lots of secrets."  And now we're on Twin Peaks: The Return (2017-18), a continuation of the original story.  

Some problems:

1. People stare for lengthy periods before speaking, and then speak slo-www-ly.  If conversations occurred at a normal pace, each episode would be ten minutes long.

2. About half of every episode consists of a naked woman talking to a fully-clothed man.  Granted, some of the men are attractive, but there's no way to look at them without seeing a lot of lady parts.

3. The story makes no friggin* sense.

See if you can figure out what's going in the first 2 episodes, plus a scene.




Red Room: 
 The original series ended with many unresolved plotlines, notably Agent Cooper (left) losing his (second) True Love and being possessed by the malevolent spirit Bob.    

In 2016, we discover that Agent Cooper was split into three parts.  The Doppleganger, controlled by the evil Bob, was loosed upon the world.  His body, now named Dougie, moved to Las Vegas, got a job in insurance, had a wife and a kid, and now consorts with hookers who stare at him for a lo...ong time while totally n*ked.  Agent Cooper's spirit was trapped in the Red Room, where the other spirits make cryptic remarks, talk backwards, and stare at him for a lo...ong time. 

Still trapped, Agent Cooper's spirit is talking to the Giant Alien, who told him that "the owls are not what they seem," one of the big unresolved mysteries of the original.  Now he tells him to listen to the sounds on an old Victrola. 

Twin Peaks: The psychiatrist who counseled and had s*x with Laura Palmer, now batshit crazy, is in his survivalist cabin, waiting for delivery of a bunch of shovels. 


New York:
 A young man (James Croak) has a job sitting in an empty room, staring at a large round window, to see if anything happens.  A girl from the coffee shop drops by, hoping to have s*x with him, but he can't because the security guard is watching, and he's not allowed visitors.  No one should know what's going on.  Doing a good job!

Twin Peaks: Benjamin Horne (Richard Beymer of West Side Story, top photo), owner of the Great Northern Hotel and the One Eyed Jacks casino and brothel, who had s*x with Laura Palmer before she died, was last seen going batshit crazy and thinking that he was a Civil War General. In 2016, he is telling a newly hired lady about the hotel rules.   His younger brother comes in, lambasts him for hiring someone else to have s*x with, and talks about his new business, marijuana.

Meanwhile, at the sheriff's office, Lucy the Receptionist turns away a salesman who wants to see "the sheriff," because he doesn't know which he wants: there are three of them, two named Truman, and one is sick.  The other is Robert Forster, the brother of the Sheriff Harry Truman who buddy-bonded with Agent Cooper 25 years ago.

Unknown Location: The Agent Cooper Doppelganger gets out of his car and bangs on the door of an isolated house.  After disabling the guard, he goes inside and stares for a lo...ong time at several people who will never appear again. He criticizes one for having inadequate guards, but she explains that "it's a world of truck drivers."  

She fetches a man (George Griffith) and a woman, and they hug everyone else in the house -- I forget how many people -- and leave with the Doppelganger.

New York: The coffee shop girl visits the young man who has a job staring at a window, with more coffee.  This time the security guard is out, so he invites her in.  They begin s*x, her backside bouncing, her boobs heaving, while we get a glimpse of his chest. Pay careful attention, as that's the only beefcake you'll be seeing amid the endless heaving breasts.  Then a wraith comes through the window and slashes them to death.  

Buckhorn, South Dakota.  An apartment has a weird smell coming out of it, so a resident calls the police.  There's a long, involved bit about who is in charge and who has the key, with a lot of characters who never appear again, until the lady realize that she has the key.  Oy vey.   Inside the apartment is the school librarian's head on the decapitated body of an older, chubby man.  We never find out who he is, or why the killer arranged them like that.

Twin Peaks: Sheriff Hawk receives a phone call from the batshit-crazy Log Lady, whose pet log has  psychic powers.  It has a cryptic message revealing that the disappearance of Agent Cooper 25 years ago was related to Sheriff Hawk's Native American heritage and "something missing."


Buckhorn, South Dakota
: The Forensics Lab has a match on the fingerprints in the decapitated librarian's apartment: they belong to the high school principal. (Matthew Lillard). So two agents and two cops, including the principal's best friend George, arrest him.  "It's all a mistake," he yells. 

Twin Peaks: To discover "what's missing," Sheriff Hawk pulls all of the files on Agent Cooper, and he and Receptionist Lucy go through them.  She ate a chocolate rabbit from some Easter evidence, but that's not it: his heritage has nothing to do with Easter bunnies.

Buckhorn, South Dakota: The Principal is interrogated about the decapitated people.  He was not having an affair with the librarian, and he was never in her apartment.  He can account for all of his activities on Thursday, except for about 15 minutes.  They lock him up, then get a warrant to go search his car.  There's either a human tongue or a piece of fish in the trunk.

The wife visits the Principal in prison to tell him that she framed him so she can pursue a romance with his best friend, George (Neil Dickson).  As she leaves, we see another cell occupied by a guy in an old-fashioned Davy Crocket outfit, covered with soot.  He vanishes.

At home, the Doppelganger tells the wife that she did a good job pretending to be a human being, and shoots her.

More non sequiters after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.6: Yep, they have s*x. Plus Judy grows a heart, Torsten a brain, and Amber the noive

 


This is the G-rated version of the Righteous Gemstones Episode 2.6 Review 


Episode 2.6 has that controversial scene that fans are still arguing about, three seconds that have been analyzed backward and forward, frame by frame. Are they doing it or getting dressed?  But really, it's so obvious that it could become an adult videowith only a few minor changes in the actors' dirctions. It's so obvious that I can't even put a screen shot at the top photo without getting a "sensitive" tag.   But first we have some unfinished business to attend to.


The Cycle Ninjas: 
 We begin immediately after the Cycle Ninja attack in Episode 2.4.  Jesse and Amber grab guns and fire on them as they zoom off, grazing one.  He falls off  his motorcycle, but jumps onto his colleague's and gives them the finger.

The family, except for Kelvin, gather in Eli's drawing room to discuss the incident with the sheriff.  Judy thinks that it was a case of road rage.  Sheriff Brenda thinks that it was a botched robbery by some teenagers: professional assassins would have finished the job.  Eli is sure that Junior sent the Cycle Ninjas to kill him.  Other family members are at risk too, so he puts the compound on lockdown.

Judy complains about being stuck at home, with Tiffany living there after Baby Billy abandoned her. "She cleans everything with vinegar."  Not the time, girl.  Eli agrees: "Are you incapable of thinking of anyone but yourself?"

Out on the porch, Eli asks if Jesse has been to see Kelvin: "No. we ain't friends.  He grew up to be a nerd." 




The Second Dressing Room Scene

We cut to a full body front-and-rear shot of Kelvin, as he stands in front of the mirror in his dressing room. "Look at me," he tells Keefe, "A grotesque reflection of what I once was." Dude, you're not going to get any sympathy with that incredible body on display.

 He is distraught over the fight with his father and the loss of the God Squad; he has been de-manned by the symbolic castration. Why should he get dressed?  "I shall remain hidden, like the beast I've become."

 Keefe advises that dressing for the day "soothes the soul," and drops to his knees.  Kelvin pushes his head forward and down to begin oral actiivty.  We see and (and hear) his climax and conclusion.  Keefe swallows and says "nice." 

The scene lasts only a few seconds, and thus is easy to miss (I missed it the first time).  And it is immersed in the act of getting dressed.  Viewers are expected to be unsure whether they did it or not, thus continuing the "are they or aren't they?" speculation. 

But the "they didn't do it" theory makes no sense: 

While stepping into his Tommy Johns, Kelvin steadies himself by pushing on Keefe's head. You steady yourself on your friend's shoulders, not on his head.

Using his hands to push is painful.  Elsewhere he is shown using the palms and base of his hands without pain.  

Keefe says "nice" because...um... Go on? 

Structurally, it is a logical conclusion of the first dressing room scene.  Keefe rejects Kelvin's invitation, and then initiates it.

It makes sense for Kelvin's character. He that his injury has rendered him impotent in a society dedicated to the phallus, grotesque in a society that prizes male beauty.   What better way to demonstrate that he is still potent, still beautiful? 

It makes sense for Keefe's character.  You've just gotten a good look at the amazingly hot backside of the Man of Your Dreams, and now you are kneeling with your face three inches from his amazingly hot c*ck --aroused by your proximity.  What guy could resist going down?

Afterwards, Keefe helps Kelvin get dressed, boops his nose, and puckers up for a kiss.  Kelvin moves in, then changes his mind and abruptly turns aside.  He still resists the idea of romantic love, but he is gradually coming around.

Down in the yard, the God Squad is running a motorcycle over the tennis court and otherwise wilding.  They've even moved into the house.  Kelvin is horrified: "Our empire is crumbling."  Notice that it's now "our" empire; they are equal partners.  Keefe encourages him to prove that he is still strong, physically and mentally: "Your will is not broken, even though your thumbs are."

More after the break

Paul Sand in Friends and Lovers

September 1974: My friends and I are in ninth grade at Washington Junior High, 13 or 14 years old, aspiring to be cool, hip, and intellectual.  So we watch all of the hip sitcoms that would later be lauded as part of the Golden Age of Television.

Like Paul Sand in Friends and Lovers.

Never heard of it?

It was famous in the fall of 1974.

MTM Enterprises was changing the face of television, making it hip, modern, and "real," set in real places like Cincinnati and Minneapolis, starring people with real home and work lives (they even had sex).  It already had two hits, Mary Tyler Moore and Bob Newhart, and Paul Sand looked like a third.

Especially when CBS put it into the fall schedule between its #1 show,  All in the Family and the Mary Tyler Moore/Bob Newhart block

I wanted to like it:

1. Cute, dour-faced comedian Paul Sand starred.
2. He was a bass player with the Boston Philharmonic (I was in the orchestra!).
3. Friends and Lovers sounded dirty.
4. There was a hot athletic older brother (Michael Pataki, left).  Maybe there'd be some beefcake.
5. And a workplace friend (Steve Landesberg, later of Barney Miller). Maybe there'd be some buddy-bonding.



I was only home to see a few episodes, and they weren't very good.

1. Paul Sand was not at all likeable -- his self-deprecating humor was...well, deprecating
2. The brother never took his shirt off, although Max Gail (later of Barney Miller) flexed in one episode.
3. And everyone was obsessed with heterosexual sex.  It was like Three's Company, a few years later.

It actually became the #25 most watched show of the season, doing better than its competition, Emergency! and The New Land, but by January it was cancelled, replaced by the mega-hit The Jeffersons.

Which also suffered from a lack of beefcake.

Feb 11, 2025

Corey Saucier: Texas model who got n*ked with Carrie Bradshaw, counseled a dying gay guy, and posted an adult video, sort of

  



Link to the n*de photos

I like guys who aren't very famous, where there's something to research.  Never heard of Corey Saucier, but there are two types of photos of him online:

1. Teen idol type









2. And sullen artistic model type.











Corey was born in 1988 in a suburb of Houston,  played basketball, football, and basketball in high school, and decided to become a model while at Texas State University.



This modeling photo is from 2008, when he was 20.  

According to his purple-prose bio at the Fort Agency, "Corey Saucier has shot with fittingly unique brands, such as Diesel and his handsome visage has posed for Gap, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein and Levis."

His handsome visage?  Come on, that sounds ridiculous. Visages don't pose.








He continues: “My style is a mixture of chic and rugged”

He has two acting roles listed on the IMDB, both, in 2022:

Shane in "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered," Episode 1.8 of  And Just Like That, the update of S*x and the City.   I never saw the original, but I understand that it's about four ladies sitting around discussing s*x in a gay-free New York.  He isn't listed in the episode synopsis, but apparently he gets nekkid with, I think, Carey?

And Dr. Underwood in Spoiler Alert, about a gay couple (Jim Parsons, Kit Aldritch), one of whom is dying of cancer.  Why on Earth would anyone want to watch something like that?    I assume that Dr. Underwood is diagnosing him or whatever.



More after the break

Feb 10, 2025

Josh Fadem: From Tulsa to "Twin Peaks," with Groundlings, zombies, coffee, a glory hole, and his d*ck

  




Link to the d*cks


We've been watching the 2017 sequel to Twin Peaks, the 1990s cult series about paranormal events in a quirky small town.  

The darn thing makes no f*king sense.  

The main plot, as far as I can figure out, involves the spirit of FBI Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLaughlin), trapped in the Red Room 25 years ago with ghosts and demons who talk backwards and make cryptic statements.  Meanwhile, his body, named Dougie, took a job at an insurance agency in Las Vegas, had a wife and son, did something that got him targeted by the mob, and consorted with prostitutes.




After 25 years, Dale's spirit returns to Dougie's body, but can't perform everyday tasks, speak more than parroted words, or understand anything -- yet no one notices!  

In Episode 1.5, his wife dresses him in a ridiculous lime-green suit and drops him off at his office, where of course he just stands there until gopher Philip Bisby (Josh Fadem) notices, gives him a cup of coffee, and escorts him to his staff meeting, where he just stands there.  

Coffee guy Philip appears again in Episodes 1.6 and 1.7, luring Dougie with coffee and escorting him to the boss's office.  I found something homoerotic in the exchange: Philip sort of likes Dougie. 

He is cute -- and short, 5'9" to Kyle's 6'0" -- so I started looking for the other work of actor Josh Fadem, and maybe some n*de photos.


I thought he was a recent college graduate, new to Hollywood, on his first acting gig, it turns out Josh Fadem was in his mid-30s in 2017.  He now has 159 acting credits, 40 writing credits, a wikipedia article, and a number of n*de photos.







He was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1980, and  graduated from Booker T. Washington High School.  Imagine being Jewish in Bible Belt, Oral Roberts University Tulsa. 

He moved to Los Angeles in 2000, trained with the Uptight Citizens Brigade and the Groundlings, and appeared in countless comedy shows, including It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Whitest Kids U Know, UCB Comedy Originals, The Bank Room, The Midnight Show, Key and Peele, Superstore, Minx, and American Dad.

And a lot of heterosexist shorts, like The Do It Up Date and I Think She Likes You.

On the other hand, The Gory Hole sounds provocative.





Josh is best known as Simon Barrons, assistant to Tina Fey's Liz Lemons on three episodes of 30 Rock (2009-2012).

And as Marshall Dixon, also called Joey, a University of New Mexico film student/teacher hired by unethical lawyer Saul in 14 episodes of Better Call Saul (2015-22).  Marshall doesn't seem to get any plot arcs of his own, but according to the Google AI, he has a gay subtext.


More after the break. Caution: explicit.

Twin Peaks: The owls are not what they seem

In the spring of 1990, many tv viewers were persuaded to turn away from the Thursday night juggernaut of The Cosby Show -- A Different World -- Cheers -- and Wings to watch Twin Peaks, a tv series created by surrealist director David Lynch, to learn "Who killed Laura Palmer?"

No one knew that the answer would become so darn convoluted.

The premise: popular high schooler Laura Palmer of Twin Peaks, Washington, is found murdered.

FBI Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan, best known for Lynch's homophobic Blue Velvet) is called in to investigate, and works with local sheriff Harry S. Truman (Michael Ontkean, best known then as the gay guy from Making Love).


Gradually they discover that everyone in town has multiple dark secrets.  There are weird alliances and interconnections.  A middle-aged woman regresses to a teenager.  Laura's psychiatrist commits suicide.

Cooper has a dream of a backward-talking dwarf who is From Another Place, who makes cryptic utterances like "when you see me again, I won't be me" and "everybody is full of secrets."



Laura had several secrets of her own.  One wonders how she found time to hang out with her boyfriend  (played by Dana Ashbrook, left), when she was having affairs with several older men, as well as working as a prostitute to support her drug habit.  (In David Lynch's world, prostitution is the Ultimate Evil).

After seven episodes, the first season ended, with lots of clues but no answers.

During the summer of 1990, The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer was published, and became a must-read.  It offered no new clues.

You could also get Twin Peaks: An Access Guide to the Town, with tourist information about the town, including the cafe where Cooper got his "damn fine coffee!" and cherry pie.




In September 1990, the second season began, on Saturday nights.

A giant who may be an alien warns Cooper that "The owls are not what they seem."

Whatever that means.

Laura appears in a vision and says "Sometimes my arms bend back."

Whatever that means.

Cooper learns of Black Lodge, which can manipulate world events.

There was no way to unite all of the plot threads into a coherent whole, so in December they threw in a lame explanation -- Laura was murdered by her father, who was being possessed by a being named BOB, who was working for the Black Lodge, who...or something like that.  And everyone scratched their head and said WTF?  All this to murder a teenager?

This was the homophobic David Lynch, so of course there were no gay characters, other than some leering effeminate villains, and some unintentional gay subtexts in the interaction between Truman and Cooper.

No beefcake to speak of.

So why did Twin Peaks gain so many gay fans?

Maybe it's the sinister small towns.  In West Hollywood many of us came from small towns, and remembered them as prisons where everyone had lots of secrets.


Maybe it was wishful thinking.  We were waiting for one of the "secrets" to be about being gay.

Or maybe it was our own hidden knowledge.  Before the 1980s, and often after, kids grew up unaware that gay people exist.  There was a conspiracy of silence that could be overcome only through seeking out subtexts, euphemisms, things left out, clues hidden from view.  We knew more than anyone that "the owls are not what they seem."





Joe Gaydar breaks unwritten gym rules, some involving n*de dudes and b*ndage

 


Link to the n*de photos

When Tony Cavalero was staying in Chicago, he got a hotel gym boyfriend, Joe Gaydar.  Not his real name -- I don't post the real names of non-actors , if there's nudity involved - but close.  I imagine that the guy got a lot of homophobic bullying in grade school.

Joe works as a corporate health specialist, "Empowering Your Employees for Optimal Wellness and Unprecedented Success!" The all capped first letters was his idea, not mine. 

But his main claim to fame is an entertaining Instagram, filled with humorous POVs:

 "Old lifters vs. new lifters"

 "Things we all do at the gym"

"When that guy at the gym keeps staring at you"



"When you see Hugh Jackman, aka Huge Jacked Man, looking like a chiseled Greek god."

"When you've already gone to the gym, and the day's main mission is accomplished."

And my favorite, "Breaking unwritten gym rules."  


1. "I don't have to wipe down the equipment or put the weights away. Someone else will do that for me."  I hate walking up to a machine and seeing someone's sweat or that disgusting disinfectant slime on it.

2. "Grabbed two different brand dumbbells.  It's the same weight, right?"  Definitely a violation of an unwritten rule.

3. "Even though it's peak hours, I'm gonna use multiple machines, because my workout is more important than yours."  That's just being a jerk


4. "Let's load the plate with the logo facing in!"  Absolutely unthinkable.

5. "I got a 45 and a 45.  One's iron and one's rubber.  Same difference, right?"  Again, unthinkable.

6. "Looks like somebody left their stuff here.  They can't be trying to reserve the machine, so let's move it."  Wait -- you can't reserve a machine, unless you're standing right next to it.  The guy who left his stuff there is the jerk.

7. "13 reps.  It's ok to end a set on an odd number, right?"  In all my years of going to the gym, I have never ended a set on an odd number.  It just seems wrong.

8."All done with my set, so I'll sit here on my phone for 15 minutes."  Sometimes I walk up to them and say "If you're just resting, can I squeeze in a set?", and they stare like I just grew a second head.

9. "I've got a big d*ck, so I don't need to use a towel in the locker room.  Guys should be happy to get a peek." Not a problem, buddy: show your dick all you want.

More rules after the break. 

Feb 9, 2025

"Clean Slate": A positive, clean, angst-free comedy about a trans woman, her ally dad, her gay buddy, and Alabama. Don't worry, there are still d*cks

 


Link to the d*cks


Clean Slate, on Amazon Prime, stars Laverne Cox of Orange is the New Black as  Desiree, a trans woman who returns to her small town in...ulp...Alabama.... after transitioning.  Alabama?  I was afraid to even drive through the state.  I'm going jump right into the deep end with the episode where she goes to church.  There's gonna be some yelling about the Book of Leviticus! 

Back Story: Desiree was dumped by her boyfriend and lost her job as a gallery coordinator in NYC, so she moves back to Mobile, Alabama to stay with her best friend, the closeted Louis (DK Uzoukwou, who played a straight guy on Insecure, but may be gay in real life).

She hasn't seen her Dad Harry (George Wallace) for 17 years, and she hasn't told him that she is trans.  When she drops by, expecting angry reprisals, he is surprised for about 30 seconds, and then becomes a super-ally.  So their estrangement was all on her?



Rather elitist, Desiree looks down on heavily-tattooed ex-con Mack (Jay Wilkinson), who works at Dad's car wash, and rejects him when he asks for a date.  

Next door neighor Miguel (Philip Garcia, left) doesn't appear in this episode.











Scene 1:
Dad comes down to breakfast to see Desiree ready for church.  "You're sure you want to go?  You hated it before?"  "I liked the music and the picnics.  It was the threat of eternal damnation I disliked."  She wants to go to supporte new choir director Louis.  A gay choir director in a fundamentalist Alabama church?  

Scene 2: The Slate Family Car Wash (clean slate, get it?), which also has a snack bar.  How long do these car washes take?

Mack and his totally nonchalant preteen daughter ("What's your pronoun sitch?") run the place on Sunday morning, but they wonder why, since almost everyone in small-town Alabama is in church at that time. 

At church, Desiree gets nervous, so she sits in the back row, and when the Preacher (Keith Arnold Bolden) asks for visitors to stand, she keeps still.  I always hate that part, too.  Ella (Telma Hopkins, whom I know from Gimme a Break) isn't having it, and drags her to the front row to sit with the Girlfriends of Grace.

They have a standard Black Church service, with everyone singing along to the hymn without checking the hymnal.


Scene 3:
At the car wash, Mack's daughter wants to know why he never goes to church.  He explains that it's a con: when he was in prison, he had the choice of joining white supremacy gangs or hiding in the chapel, so he hid, and became so good at the con that they called him Reverend Mack.

Daughter suggests a nefarious scheme to get some cars into the car wash on Sunday morning.

Meanwhile, the church service ends. Choirmaster Louis tells Desiree that he had to turn his phone off after she recommeded going on Grindr, because it kept pinging: "Those dudes are thirsty!"  Boyfriend is up for a fun Sunday afternoon.

On the way out of the church, the Pastor hugs the women and shakes hands with the men -- and Desiree!  She and Girlfriend of Grace Ella are both mortified by the snub.

Scene 4: Desiree lying in bed, being depressed: 27 minutes of bliss followed by a transphobic snub.  Girl, if that's the worst you get at a fundamentalist church in Alabama.... wait, 27 minutes?  Or services took an hour and a half: 30 minutes for announcements and songs, 45 minutes for a hellfire sermon, and 15 minutes for the altar call.   Dad tries to convince her that it wasn't a snub, the Pastor doesn't hug women unless he knows that they'll be ok with it, but she insists: the Pastor thinks that she is a man.

Meanwhile, Ella and the other Girlfriends of Grace are squacking mad.  They discuss how to get back at the transphobic Pastor: maybe withhold the after-church food that they always provide. No pot roast, no lamb chops, no deviled eggs.  We never got food after the service.

And Choirmaster Louis can start a choir boycott.  Back story: Louis is Girlfriend of Grace Ella's son.

Louis doesn't want to do it, but Ella forces him, or she'll revoke her Amazon Prime password (product placement, just like in the old days when they stopped the story to drink Maxwell House Coffee).

Dad offers to go speak to the Pastor "man to man."

More after the break

Researching Justin Lebeau: From "Doctor Who" to gay videos, with nothing but physiques and p enises

   


Link to the n*de Justin


In Episode 10.5 of the 2017 series of Doctor Who, the Doctor and his companions zap into the future, where the gay-vague Nardole is attracted to a blue-skinned alien.   I wanted to find the actor, but I couldn't remember the character's name.

Googling "Doctor Who" and "blue-skinned alien" yielded a n*de photo of someone named Justin Lebeau, but he is not in the list of male guest stars of the episode. 

What's the connection?  I decided to research him.




The IMDB lists eight acting credits, all in gay adult videos between 2010 and 2013










In the tv series Video Boys and C*cky Boys:

Bottom for the first time (May 14, 2010)

Performing with Ashton Hardwell (November 19, 2010)

Top for the first time (February 11, 2011).

Getting it in the face  (December 16, 2011)



Performing with Jake Bass (December 30, 2011)

Showing Seth Knight around Montreal (Feb 24, 2012)

Performing with Jake Bass again (April 2, 2012)








Performing with Bobby Long and Lucas Wild  (April 20, 2012)

Skateboarding with Jimmy Little (May 18, 2012)

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.5: Yep, Kelvin is gay. But there's embezzlement and murder, too, and some accountant c ocks

  


This is the G-rated review of the episode, in case you want the insightful analysis without the accountant c ocks

Nope, let's see the c ocks


Episode 2.5 is a flashback to Christmas 1993.  Since two of the season's big questions are "Did Eli kill Glendon Marsh?" and "Is Junior trying to kill to get revenge?" we get some Eli-Glendon back story.

Knives or nunchuks? As the family is photographed at the Gemstone Christmas tree, Judy torments 4-year old Kelvin.  Jesse says that he's going to give him a weapon for Christmas, so he can defend himself: "Knives, or nunchuks."  Eli forbids him from giving his brother weapons.  Jesse complains that he's going to grow up to be "a pussy."  He explains that a pussy is someone who doesn't like to do things and is afraid of everything.  Sounds sort of like a gay stereotype.


You have to think of the optics: 
Eli is planning to move the Salvation Center to a giant coliseum.  The church board complains that he can't afford it: he's already spent church money on a private zoo and amusement park.  Hey, that's embezzlement!  They also advise that "the rich pastor is not a good look."  

But Eli won't listen: "I cannot imagine a more ridiculous comment.  Big means success. People want to see something bigger than life." Well, this is during the tail-end of the Reagan-Bush "wealth is virtue" era, with "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," "Dynasty," and "Dallas."

"But we're spending more than we have!" accountant Terry (Mike Ostroski) complains. Gulp: Eli fires him!

Get that boy some mousse: Baby Billy shows up unexpectedly, having abandoned his wife Gloria and son (he claims that they abandoned him, but Aimee-Leigh calls her and discovers the truth).  

Kelvin: "Dang, Baby Billy is thirsty."  But Billy isn't drinking anything.  Does he mean "thirst trap'?  That expression won't be common until the 2010s, but apparently it is used here to indicate that he thinks his uncle is hot.  Remember that in Season 1, the adult Kelvin and Judy comment on the attractiveness of their grown-up nephew Gideon.  

Baby Billy tells Kelvin that his estranged wife said:  "You have the most boring haircut in the world.  Get that boy some mousse."  Kelvin is upset (concerned with his appearance, a gay stereotype). Remember that the adult Kelvin uses mousse to create that upward wave.


Later, Kelvin demonstrates that he can play the harpsichord blindfolded (um..big deal?  Nobody looks down at the keys while playing).  Baby Billy calls him a prodigy and hugs and kisses him, obviously looking for a brainy replacement for his special-needs son.  The siblings scoff.  This musical talent is never referenced again.

The Return of Glendon Marsh:  As Eli walks through the office, everyone smiles and says "Good morning, Dr. Gemstone."  Everybody.  It looks creepy rather than friendly. "Be nice, or he'll turn you into a toad." 

His new accountant, Martin, starts off on the wrong foot by sitting in his chair!  

 Glendon Marsh, his boss when he was wrestling and breaking thumbs back in Memphis, shows up unexpectedly and asks Eli to take care of $3,000,000 that he doesn't want the government to know about, and he can keep $1,000,000 for his trouble.  Hey, that's money laundering!  But Eli has already been embezzling, so what's the difference?  Aimee-Leigh and Martin disapprove, and Eli finally refuses. 

More after the break

Feb 8, 2025

"High Potential," Episode 1.11: the cleaning lady figures out whodunit in a rich family with secrets and gay sons. Bonus n*de Daniel, Noah, and Clark

   


Link to the n*de Daniel, Noah, and Clark


High Potential, based on a French series, stars Kaitlin Olson of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The Mick as a genius employed as a cleaning lady (often people with high iqs have trouble fitting into ordinary society). Her ability to find connections leads to a job as a consultant, helping the police solve murders.  I reviewed Episode 1.11, "The Sauna at the End of the Stairs," because I figured sauna means gay bathhouse.

Scene 1: An old rich guy is lying in his mansion, surrounded by medical equipment, addressing his wife, adult daughter, and three men.  Maybe his children and their partners, including a gay couple?  He's been keeping a secret for ten years: He killed Barry!  Everyone gasps.



Scene 2:
 Morgan (Kaitlin Olson) previously a cleaning lady, now a police consultant, brags about her new credentials to her beset-upon boss, Karadec (Daniel Sunjata, top photo and center).  

The higher-ups John and Mellon (Garrett Dillahunt of The Walking Dead) appear to celebrate the closing of a cold case:  Rich Old Guy George Donovan confessed on his deathbed! 

Wait -- who's the hunk with Morgan and Boss Karadec?  Maybe Officer Oz, played by Deniz Akdeniz (left)


Morgan has not heard of this before -- she was busy in 2014 -- so Detective Selena, who was assigned to the case, explains: the day after Thanksgiving, Barry (TJ Thyne), who was married to Rich Guy's daughter, was found dead in the sauna, "broiled like a Texas barbecue." But he had a broken neck: it was a murder!  Someone pushed him down the stairs, then put him in the sauna so it would look like he broiled himself to death.

Rich Guy had Barry's blood on his shirt, so he went to trial, but was found not guilty due to insufficent evidence.  What would his motive be, and how could a 70-year old with a hip replacement carry Barry all the way into the sauna?

The murder had a disastrous impact on the Very Rich Family, so Detective Selena theorizes that Rich Guy didn't really do it; he confessed so his family could live "normal lives" after his death.





Breakdown of the men in the Family:

1. Rich Guy's oldest son Clark (Jonathan Chase, seen here getting a boyfriend in Another Gay Movie).

2. His second son, Matty, whom everyone in "true crime" podcasts thinks is the real murderer.







More after the break

Feb 7, 2025

The Top 10 Hunks of Queerbaiting TV: a 2012 gay video star, an alien from the 53rd century, a cucumber, Jack McBrayer, and Oscar Wilde

 


 I've been having bad luck with tv shows lately.  

1. I fast-forwarded through 14 episodes of Insecure, on Netflix, about two black women looking for love and sex, because it had a gay character, Ahmal, played by Jean Eli.  He was interviewed extensively about what it felt like to play a gay character, how he tried to subvert stereotypes, and so on.  Dude appeared for only a few seconds in each episode, when his sister called to ask his advice on something, or when she brought him as her date to a party.  He is shown with a man just once, cooking, for three seconds.

That's not queerbaiting, it's "gay but let's not admit it" erasure.






2. But at least there were a lot of hot black guys who showed their backsides as they got down with the ladies, such as Jay Ellis.








3. And Y'Lan Noel


I've been watching the tenth series of Doctor Who (2016-17) under the impression that the Time Lord's  companion Nardole is gay. First, actor Matt Lucas is gay.  Second, he's  sassy and snippy, he's dismissive of female companion Bill, he hides in another alien's crotch, and he acts like he's quite smitten with this blue-skinned fellow.







4.It took a lot of research to find the identity of the blue-skinned guy -- IMBD didn't know, and Google thought he was 2012-13 gay video star Justin LeBeau




 5. The Tardis Fandom website calls him Dahh-Ren, played by Peter Caulfield, who gets n*de on the gay British series Cucumber 

But Nardole's interest in Dahh-Ren is just a tease. Later in the episode, he mentions an old girlfriend.

Doctor Who often features gay characters.  Bill is herself a lesbian, and has fallen for women twice so far.  So why the queerbaiting?


More after the break

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