Josh Fadem: From Tulsa to "Twin Peaks," with Groundlings, zombies, coffee, a glory hole, and his d*ck

  

Link to the d*cks

We've been watching the 2017 sequel to Twin Peaks, the 1990s cult series about paranormal events in a quirky small town.  

The darn thing makes no f*king sense.  

The main plot, as far as I can figure out, involves the spirit of FBI Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLaughlin), trapped in the Red Room 25 years ago with ghosts and demons who talk backwards and make cryptic statements.  Meanwhile, his body, named Dougie, took a job at an insurance agency in Las Vegas, had a wife and son, did something that got him targeted by the mob, and consorted with prostitutes.

After 25 years, Dale's spirit returns to Dougie's body, but can't perform everyday tasks, speak more than parroted words, or understand anything -- yet no one notices!  

In Episode 1.5, his wife dresses him in a ridiculous lime-green suit and drops him off at his office, where of course he just stands there until gopher Philip Bisby (Josh Fadem) notices, gives him a cup of coffee, and escorts him to his staff meeting, where he just stands there.  

Coffee guy Philip appears again in Episodes 1.6 and 1.7, luring Dougie with coffee and escorting him to the boss's office.  I found something homoerotic in the exchange: Philip sort of likes Dougie. 

He is cute -- and short, 5'9" to Kyle's 6'0" -- so I started looking for the other work of actor Josh Fadem, and maybe some n*de photos.

I thought he was a recent college graduate, new to Hollywood, on his first acting gig, it turns out that Josh Fadem is 44 years old, with 159 acting credits, 40 writing credits, a wikipedia article, and a number of n*de photos.

He was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1980, and  graduated from Booker T. Washington High School.  Imagine being Jewish in Bible Belt, Oral Roberts University Tulsa. 

He moved to Los Angeles in 2000, trained with the Uptight Citizens Brigade and the Groundlings, and appeared in countless comedy shows, including It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Whitest Kids U Know, UCB Comedy Originals, The Bank Room, The Midnight Show, Key and Peele, Superstore, Minx, and American Dad.

And a lot of heterosexist shorts, like The Do It Up Date and I Think She Likes You.

On the other hand, The Gory Hole sounds provocative.

Josh is best known as Simon Barrons, assistant to Tina Fey's Liz Lemons on three episodes of 30 Rock (2009-2012).

And as Marshall Dixon, also called Joey, a University of New Mexico film student/teacher hired by unethical lawyer Saul in 14 episodes of Better Call Saul (2015-22).  Marshall doesn't seem to get any plot arcs of his own, but according to the Google AI, he has a gay subtext.

More after the break. Caution: explicit.

Twin Peaks: The owls are not what they seem

In the spring of 1990, many tv viewers were persuaded to turn away from the Thursday night juggernaut of The Cosby Show -- A Different World -- Cheers -- and Wings to watch Twin Peaks, a tv series created by surrealist director David Lynch, to learn "Who killed Laura Palmer?"

No one knew that the answer would become so darn convoluted.

The premise: popular high schooler Laura Palmer of Twin Peaks, Washington, is found murdered.

FBI Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan, best known for Lynch's homophobic Blue Velvet) is called in to investigate, and works with local sheriff Harry S. Truman (Michael Ontkean, best known then as the gay guy from Making Love).

Gradually they discover that everyone in town has multiple dark secrets.  There are weird alliances and interconnections.  A middle-aged woman regresses to a teenager.  Laura's psychiatrist commits suicide.

Cooper has a dream of a backward-talking dwarf who is From Another Place, who makes cryptic utterances like "when you see me again, I won't be me" and "everybody is full of secrets."

Laura had several secrets of her own.  One wonders how she found time to hang out with her boyfriend  (played by Dana Ashbrook, left), when she was having affairs with several older men, as well as working as a prostitute to support her drug habit.  (In David Lynch's world, prostitution is the Ultimate Evil).

After seven episodes, the first season ended, with lots of clues but no answers.

During the summer of 1990, The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer was published, and became a must-read.  It offered no new clues.

You could also get Twin Peaks: An Access Guide to the Town, with tourist information about the town, including the cafe where Cooper got his "damn fine coffee!" and cherry pie.

In September 1990, the second season began, on Saturday nights.

A giant who may be an alien warns Cooper that "The owls are not what they seem."

Whatever that means.

Laura appears in a vision and says "Sometimes my arms bend back."

Whatever that means.

Cooper learns of Black Lodge, which can manipulate world events.

There was no way to unite all of the plot threads into a coherent whole, so in December they threw in a lame explanation -- Laura was murdered by her father, who was being possessed by a being named BOB, who was working for the Black Lodge, who...or something like that.  And everyone scratched their head and said WTF?  All this to murder a teenager?

This was the homophobic David Lynch, so of course there were no gay characters, other than some leering effeminate villains, and some unintentional gay subtexts in the interaction between Truman and Cooper.

No beefcake to speak of.

So why did Twin Peaks gain so many gay fans?

Maybe it's the sinister small towns.  In West Hollywood many of us came from small towns, and remembered them as prisons where everyone had lots of secrets.


Maybe it was wishful thinking.  We were waiting for one of the "secrets" to be about being gay.

Or maybe it was our own hidden knowledge.  Before the 1980s, and often after, kids grew up unaware that gay people exist.  There was a conspiracy of silence that could be overcome only through seeking out subtexts, euphemisms, things left out, clues hidden from view.  We knew more than anyone that "the owls are not what they seem."

See also: Josh Fadem: From Tulsa to "Twin Peaks," with coffee, zombies, a corrupt lawyer, a glory hole, and his d*ck

Joe Gaydar breaks unwritten gym rules, some involving n*de dudes and b*ndage

 

Link to the n*de photos

When Tony Cavalero was staying in Chicago, he got a hotel gym boyfriend, Joe Gaydar.  Not his real name -- I don't post the real names of non-actors , if there's nudity involved - but close.  I imagine that the guy got a lot of homophobic bullying in grade school.

Joe works as a corporate health specialist, "Empowering Your Employees for Optimal Wellness and Unprecedented Success!" The all capped first letters was his idea, not mine. 

But his main claim to fame is an entertaining Instagram, filled with humorous POVs:

 "Old lifters vs. new lifters"

 "Things we all do at the gym"

"When that guy at the gym keeps staring at you"

"When you see Hugh Jackman, aka Huge Jacked Man, looking like a chiseled Greek god."

"When you've already gone to the gym, and the day's main mission is accomplished."

And my favorite, "Breaking unwritten gym rules."  

1. "I don't have to wipe down the equipment or put the weights away. Someone else will do that for me."  I hate walking up to a machine and seeing someone's sweat or that disgusting disinfectant slime on it.

2. "Grabbed two different brand dumbbells.  It's the same weight, right?"  Definitely a violation of an unwritten rule.

3. "Even though it's peak hours, I'm gonna use multiple machines, because my workout is more important than yours."  That's just being a jerk

4. "Let's load the plate with the logo facing in!"  Absolutely unthinkable.

5. "I got a 45 and a 45.  One's iron and one's rubber.  Same difference, right?"  Again, unthinkable.

6. "Looks like somebody left their stuff here.  They can't be trying to reserve the machine, so let's move it."  Wait -- you can't reserve a machine, unless you're standing right next to it.  The guy who left his stuff there is the jerk.

7. "13 reps.  It's ok to end a set on an odd number, right?"  In all my years of going to the gym, I have never ended a set on an odd number.  It just seems wrong.

8."All done with my set, so I'll sit here on my phone for 15 minutes."  Sometimes I walk up to them and say "If you're just resting, can I squeeze in a set?", and they stare like I just grew a second head.

9. "I've got a big d*ck, so I don't need to use a towel in the locker room.  Guys should be happy to get a peek." Not a problem, buddy: show your dick all you want.

More rules after the break. 

"Clean Slate": A positive, clean, angst-free comedy about a trans woman, her ally dad, her gay buddy, and Alabama. Don't worry, there are still d*cks

 

Link to the d*cks

Clean Slate, on Amazon Prime, stars Laverne Cox of Orange is the New Black as  Desiree, a trans woman who returns to her small town in...ulp...Alabama.... after transitioning.  Alabama?  I was afraid to even drive through the state.  I'm going jump right into the deep end with the episode where she goes to church.  There's gonna be some yelling about the Book of Leviticus! 

Back Story: Desiree was dumped by her boyfriend and lost her job as a gallery coordinator in NYC, so she moves back to Mobile, Alabama to stay with her best friend, the closeted Louis (DK Uzoukwou, who played a straight guy on Insecure, but may be gay in real life).

She hasn't seen her Dad Harry (George Wallace) for 17 years, and she hasn't told him that she is trans.  When she drops by, expecting angry reprisals, he is surprised for about 30 seconds, and then becomes a super-ally.  So their estrangement was all on her?

Rather elitist, Desiree looks down on heavily-tattooed ex-con Mack (Jay Wilkinson), who works at Dad's car wash, and rejects him when he asks for a date.  

Next door neighor Miguel (Philip Garcia, left) doesn't appear in this episode.

Scene 1: Dad comes down to breakfast to see Desiree ready for church.  "You're sure you want to go?  You hated it before?"  "I liked the music and the picnics.  It was the threat of eternal damnation I disliked."  She wants to go to supporte new choir director Louis.  A gay choir director in a fundamentalist Alabama church?  

Scene 2: The Slate Family Car Wash (clean slate, get it?), which also has a snack bar.  How long do these car washes take?

Mack and his totally nonchalant preteen daughter ("What's your pronoun sitch?") run the place on Sunday morning, but they wonder why, since almost everyone in small-town Alabama is in church at that time. 

At church, Desiree gets nervous, so she sits in the back row, and when the Preacher (Keith Arnold Bolden) asks for visitors to stand, she keeps still.  I always hate that part, too.  Ella (Telma Hopkins, whom I know from Gimme a Break) isn't having it, and drags her to the front row to sit with the Girlfriends of Grace.

They have a standard Black Church service, with everyone singing along to the hymn without checking the hymnal.

Scene 3: At the car wash, Mack's daughter wants to know why he never goes to church.  He explains that it's a con: when he was in prison, he had the choice of joining white supremacy gangs or hiding in the chapel, so he hid, and became so good at the con that they called him Reverend Mack.

Daughter suggests a nefarious scheme to get some cars into the car wash on Sunday morning.

Meanwhile, the church service ends. Choirmaster Louis tells Desiree that he had to turn his phone off after she recommeded going on Grindr, because it kept pinging: "Those dudes are thirsty!"  Boyfriend is up for a fun Sunday afternoon.

On the way out of the church, the Pastor hugs the women and shakes hands with the men -- and Desiree!  She and Girlfriend of Grace Ella are both mortified by the snub.

Scene 4: Desiree lying in bed, being depressed: 27 minutes of bliss followed by a transphobic snub.  Girl, if that's the worst you get at a fundamentalist church in Alabama.... wait, 27 minutes?  Or services took an hour and a half: 30 minutes for announcements and songs, 45 minutes for a hellfire sermon, and 15 minutes for the altar call.   Dad tries to convince her that it wasn't a snub, the Pastor doesn't hug women unless he knows that they'll be ok with it, but she insists: the Pastor thinks that she is a man.

Meanwhile, Ella and the other Girlfriends of Grace are squacking mad.  They discuss how to get back at the transphobic Pastor: maybe withhold the after-church food that they always provide. No pot roast, no lamb chops, no deviled eggs.  We never got food after the service.

And Choirmaster Louis can start a choir boycott.  Back story: Louis is Girlfriend of Grace Ella's son.

Louis doesn't want to do it, but Ella forces him, or she'll revoke her Amazon Prime password (product placement, just like in the old days when they stopped the story to drink Maxwell House Coffee).

Dad offers to go speak to the Pastor "man to man."

More after the break

Researching Justin Lebeau: From "Doctor Who" to gay videos, with nothing but physiques and p enises

   

Link to the n*de Justin

In Episode 10.5 of the 2017 series of Doctor Who, the Doctor and his companions zap into the future, where the gay-vague Nardole is attracted to a blue-skinned alien.   I wanted to find the actor, but I couldn't remember the character's name.

Googling "Doctor Who" and "blue-skinned alien" yielded a n*de photo of someone named Justin Lebeau, but he is not in the list of male guest stars of the episode. 

What's the connection?  I decided to research him.

The IMDB lists eight acting credits, all in gay adult videos between 2010 and 2013

In the tv series Video Boys and C*cky Boys:

Bottom for the first time (May 14, 2010)

Performing with Ashton Hardwell (November 19, 2010)

Top for the first time (February 11, 2011).

Getting it in the face  (December 16, 2011)

Performing with Jake Bass (December 30, 2011)

Showing Seth Knight around Montreal (Feb 24, 2012)

Performing with Jake Bass again (April 2, 2012)

Performing with Bobby Long and Lucas Wild  (April 20, 2012)

Skateboarding with Jimmy Little (May 18, 2012)

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.5: Yep, Kelvin is gay. But there's embezzlement and murder, too, and some accountant c ocks

  

This is the G-rated review of the episode, in case you want the insightful analysis without the accountant c ocks

Nope, let's see the c ocks

Episode 2.5 is a flashback to Christmas 1993.  Since two of the season's big questions are "Did Eli kill Glendon Marsh?" and "Is Junior trying to kill to get revenge?" we get some Eli-Glendon back story.

Knives or nunchuks? As the family is photographed at the Gemstone Christmas tree, Judy torments 4-year old Kelvin.  Jesse says that he's going to give him a weapon for Christmas, so he can defend himself: "Knives, or nunchuks."  Eli forbids him from giving his brother weapons.  Jesse complains that he's going to grow up to be "a pussy."  He explains that a pussy is someone who doesn't like to do things and is afraid of everything.  Sounds sort of like a gay stereotype.

You have to think of the optics: Eli is planning to move the Salvation Center to a giant coliseum.  The church board complains that he can't afford it: he's already spent church money on a private zoo and amusement park.  Hey, that's embezzlement!  They also advise that "the rich pastor is not a good look."  

But Eli won't listen: "I cannot imagine a more ridiculous comment.  Big means success. People want to see something bigger than life." Well, this is during the tail-end of the Reagan-Bush "wealth is virtue" era, with "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," "Dynasty," and "Dallas."

"But we're spending more than we have!" accountant Terry (Mike Ostroski) complains. Gulp: Eli fires him!

Get that boy some mousse: Baby Billy shows up unexpectedly, having abandoned his wife Gloria and son (he claims that they abandoned him, but Aimee-Leigh calls her and discovers the truth).  

Kelvin: "Dang, Baby Billy is thirsty."  But Billy isn't drinking anything.  Does he mean "thirst trap'?  That expression won't be common until the 2010s, but apparently it is used here to indicate that he thinks his uncle is hot.  Remember that in Season 1, the adult Kelvin and Judy comment on the attractiveness of their grown-up nephew Gideon.  

Baby Billy tells Kelvin that his estranged wife said:  "You have the most boring haircut in the world.  Get that boy some mousse."  Kelvin is upset (concerned with his appearance, a gay stereotype). Remember that the adult Kelvin uses mousse to create that upward wave.

Later, Kelvin demonstrates that he can play the harpsichord blindfolded (um..big deal?  Nobody looks down at the keys while playing).  Baby Billy calls him a prodigy and hugs and kisses him, obviously looking for a brainy replacement for his special-needs son.  The siblings scoff.  This musical talent is never referenced again.

The Return of Glendon Marsh:  As Eli walks through the office, everyone smiles and says "Good morning, Dr. Gemstone."  Everybody.  It looks creepy rather than friendly. "Be nice, or he'll turn you into a toad." 

His new accountant, Martin, starts off on the wrong foot by sitting in his chair!  

 Glendon Marsh, his boss when he was wrestling and breaking thumbs back in Memphis, shows up unexpectedly and asks Eli to take care of $3,000,000 that he doesn't want the government to know about, and he can keep $1,000,000 for his trouble.  Hey, that's money laundering!  But Eli has already been embezzling, so what's the difference?  Aimee-Leigh and Martin disapprove, and Eli finally refuses. 

More after the break