Gemstones Episode 1.1, Continued: Blackmail, a bisexual party double-dragon Ninjas, Scott Wolf's bulge, and Kelvin's size

 

Link to the uncensored review

The earlier scenes established one of the main plotlines of the season: Kelvin Gemstone is gay and an evangelical minister -- got to be some conflict there -- and interested in his former-Satanist friend Keefe.  Next we move on to introduce the other plotlines. 

El's Dead Wife:   We cut to megachurch senior pastor Eli eating dinner alone, just as lonely as Kelvin.  He stares at a painting of him and, presumably, his dead wife.  Later we discover that she is Aimee-Leigh, a famous Gospel singer who partnered with Eli in the ministry before her death in July 2018.  Trivia alert: a little over a year before Episode 1.1 aired.

The Bisexual S*x Party: Then on to Jesse in the master bedroom suite, brushing his teeth while his wife Amber waits in bed. Suddenly he gets a text: a video of Jesse in a hotel room, snorting cocaine, and doing things I can't mention here. We see men's private parts!  So someone taped Jesse having a bisexual s*x party.

The sender wants to meet, so Jesse makes an excuse and drives to the deserted parking lot of a strip mall.  A red van appears, and a blackmailer in a Devil mask demands a million dollars by Sunday, or the video goes viral!   

Later, Jesse asks Chief Accountant Martin for the money, pretending it's for a new mission endeavor, but no dice.

Squeezing Out the Competition:  Eli is planning to open a new satellite church in Locust Grove. A fictional town, not the suburb of Atlanta.  The pastors of smaller churches in the area, especially Rev. Seasons (Dermot Mulroney, right, from a 1994 movie), fear that theit will draw away their members.  Tough. Eli admits that he's intentionally trying to steal their congregations.  In-joke: his name is John Wesley Seasons, but he's a Baptist!

Judy and the Atheist: The family meets at Aimee-Leigh's shrine to discuss their disapproval of Judy's boyfriend BJ, because he is an unbeliever; he's even pro-choice on abortion!  She argues that he doesn't support abortion anymore.  How conservative are the Gemstones?  It varies from season to season, and even from episode to episode.

Plus they are living together, in spite of the church's prohibition of premarital cohabitation, so whenever someone visits, BJ has to hide. She argues that they are engaged, which is practically the same as being married.  No one mentions disapproving of Kelvin being gay; could they not know?

On the ride home, Kelvin becomes angry with Jesse for "constantly getting in my business, telling me what I should or shouldn't do."  Like what guys he can date? Jesse claims that he's just trying to protect Kelvin: "Dark forces are at work. Evil forces that want to destroy our family."  He means the blackmailers, but what does Kelvin think he's talking about?  An ex-Satanist that he attracted to?

We cut to Jesse's wife Amber meeting with the church ladies to defend the Gemstones' excessive wealth, 

Jesse's Crew Sees the Tape:  Jesse shows Kelvin and his crew, the guys who were at the party, the tape. Kelvin ignores the lady, but wants to know about the man -- Chad.  He points out that he is  bigger. Everybody is bigger, dude. 

Kelvin will be obsessed with his size through the series. I wonder if it is scripted as small, or the same size as Adam Devine's.

So, will Kelvin to chip in half of the million dollars?  He considers it, but after Jesse calls him "a shitty brother and a shitty minister," he refuses.  

We move on to a church service -- very money-grubbing.  Eli, Kelvin, and Jesse perform, while Keefe stands in the balcony.  Apparently he is working security.  After the service, they find all of the cars in the parking lot plastered with fliers about how evil the Gemstones are.  No doubt Rev. Season is responsible!  

S*ck your Satanic boyfriend:  After a confrontation with Rev. Seasons about the fliers -- he denies responsibility -- Eli and his family head to dinner in a private dining room on the second floor of Jason's Steakhouse.  Trivia alert: Really the Liberty Taproom and Grill in Mount Pleasant, a suburb of Charlesotn.

The siblings are generally sniping at each other. disapproving of BJ for being a nonbeliever and Judy for planning to move away from the compound and buy a place in town.  They consider this a betrayal. Why do they care?   

Kelvin accuses Jesse of "betraying your family" in another way.  They stand, preparing to fight.

Kelvin: "How about you tell the family what kind of man you really are?"

Jesse: "How about you just go on and s*ck Satanic boyfriend Keefe off?"  This is the first time Keefe is named on the show. 

"S*ck your Satanic boyfriend" is a parallel to "what kind of man you really are," comparing two illicit sexual acts.  But what is illicit, a boyfriend or a Satanist?  From Jesse's statement that he has gay friends earlier, we can conclude that he means "Satanist," just as Judy is inadequate because of her non-believer boyfriend.  But Kelvin responds as if Jesse has criticized him for being gay: instead of defending Keefe, he throws a water glass.  

The Devil is a Top:  They start throwing things at each other. Jesse throws a water glass at Kelvin, but hits BJ in the nose.  Kelvin yells that they should have Jesse arrested for assault, and he responds "I hope the Devil f*cks you dry!"  

Again we see parallel threats, getting arrested and getting "fucked" by the Devil, both humiliating losses of power.  It is interesting that Jesse adds "dry," that is, without lube. He assumes that Kelvin, being a bottom, would otherwise enjoy the act.  In Season 3,we learn that Kelvin is in fact a bottom, and Keefe a top.

More after the break

The Bigger Man:  Later, at the urinals in the restroom, Jesse asks "With everything I got going on, you can't be the bigger man?"  Kelvin looks down at Jesse's penis and says "Looks like I am the bigger man."   This is the second time this episode where Kelvin references his size. 

They begin discussing how to take down rival Johnny Seasons  Jesse bought kubotan weapons to assault him with.

"Why'd you get me a pink one""  Kelvin asks. 

"No reason." Another gay implication. It looks like Jesse knows that Kelvin is gay from the start.  I'm not sure yet if Kelvin has figured it out.   

Jesse goes on: They used to be friends. They played together. They were going to grow up to be Double-Dragon Ninjas together.  "What happened to us?" (Top photo: Scott Wolf, who starred in the 1994 Double Dragons movie).  They are at least eight years apart, so they would not have been equal playmates.  

Left, top, and below: more Scott Wolfe

"We grew up," Kelvin responds. This rift between the brothers apparently was meant to introduce a plot arc, but after this episode, it is rarely mentioned again.  The main relationships this season will be Jesse/Gideon and Kelvin/Keefe.

We cut to Jesse discovering that Pontius has obsessively circled all the bad words in the Bible.  Then on to Kelvin's house: he plays with his drum set while Keefe plays an arcade game. Kelvin grew up?  These are junior high kids.

Houseguest or boyfriend: It's late at night, but Kelvin is not entertaining Keefe. They just happen to be in the same room.  This suggests that Keefe is not a visitor; they are living together, a significant change in status since Scene 1.  

Keefe complains that early versions of the game had a demonic character who said, if you listened closely, "I am the Devil. You're mine." It lured many kids into Satanism.  Keefe  is much more concerned about a literal Devil than he will be later,.

Kelvin is staring into space, worried about...what?  He starts playing Double Dragon, the game he used to play with Jesse, so maybe he is worried about not being friends anymore.  

Jesse gets revenge: Later, Jesse and his crew go to Rev. Season's house to attack, but he shoots Chad, so they scram.  They call Kelvin to help. 

Judy finds out about the blackmail plan, and offers to help: she's been embezzling from the church for years, saving up to make an escape. 

At home, Eli watches an old video tape of his tv show.  While Aimee-Leigh asks "Who wants to make a real change in their lives?' the siblings drive back from the rendezvous, looking sick.  The end.

The first episode covers a lot of ground, but it appears that all of the Gemstones except Kelvin are self-serving and immoral (we will see some redeeming qualities in future episodes.)  Why is Kelvin the moral center of the family?  Maybe so when his fall comes, it will be all the more dramatic?

N*de Kelvin on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends