Sep 11, 2024

Noah Centineo: The Boyfriend of your Dreams, with five butts, three bulges, one penis, and no gay characters.

  


Link to the butts and penis

I've used stills from Noah Centineo's j/o video as illustrations twice, but I don't know who he is, only that he filled in when Jake T. Austin left The Fosters. So, time to do some research.

He was born in 1996, and first appeared on screen with a kids' film, The Golden Retrievers, in 2008.

He appeared in three episodes ofAustin & Allie, the first Disney Channel teencom to feature a canonical gay character, but he didn't play the gay character.



More guest spots on teencoms like Marvin Marvin and Shake It Up, and then his first starring role, How to Build a Better Boy, 2014.  He plays Jaden, the jock that science nerd Mae is crushing on, so she builds a cyber boyfriend to help win him. Matt Shively, left, plays her brother.

There's some rear nudity in SPF-18, 2017, but it's not Noah, it's Jackson White, a depressed musician.  The focus character has to choose between Jackson and Noah, who is mourning the death of his father.  It gets a 3.3 rating on Rotten Tomatoes, probably because it is advertised as a romantic comedy, but is actually a depressing angst-fest.  


After 53 episodes of The Fosters, 2015-2018, Noah starred in To All the Boys I've Loved Before, 2018, but he's not the one loving the boys.  He's the Love Interest of focus character Lana, whose letters to her secret crushes are made public, destroying her life. 








In Sierra Burgess is a Loser, 2018, loser Sierra gets the help of the school's It-Girl to win the Boy of Her Dreams, Noah.  It also stars Will Peltz, left, as Spence, the It-Girl's boyfriend who dumps her.

More after the break








Tagged
, 2016-2018, features three high school girls being targeted by violent videos.  The only way to save their lives is to find out who is tagging them, before it's too late.  Noah plays Hawk, a girl's tutor who may know more than he says. Nick Fink, left, stars as Jake, who turns out to be...well, never mind.







A 2019 Charlie's Angels installment features Noah as Langston, assistant to the CEO building the evil Calisto Device.  He is saved by the Angels and starts dating one of them.

In 2020 and 2021, Noah starred in later installments of To All the Boys, and in 2022 he appeared as the superhero Atom Smasher in Black Adam.

No gay characters anywhere, as far as I can tell, and straight in real life -- according to my research, he dates lots of women, but no men.

Fans thought he was coming out as bisexual when he posted a photo of him kissing his bud Chase Austin, but he responded: "embrace platonic intimacy," and took the photo down.




Most recently he has played Owen Hendricks, a young lawyer who joins the CIA in The Recruit.  He might have a gay roommate, but his character is straight. 

In an actor's profile, I check for five things.  Noah seems a little lacking.

Gay Characters: None

Gay in Real Life: No

Face:  Average, nothing spectacular.

Physique: Muscular, but not a bodybuilder.


Penis Pic: Not on screen. The most we see are underwear bulges.  Off-screen, we have the one j/o video, but he didn't even post that.  He was catfished by someone pretending to want a relationship, who then posted it without his permission.  I'm not sure we should even be looking.

But being hung is nothing to be ashamed of, and it's bound to increase his popularity among gay male audiences.


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