Andrew Santino: Aren't gay men hilarious? But have you heard what they do in bed?

Link to the NSFW version

Today I started a review of Royal Crackers, an animated series on MAX about a family running a cracker empire.  As usual, I checked to see if any of the actors have beefcake photos or are gay.

Andrew Santino, who plays the washed-up rock star son: About a dozen beefcake photos.

Including a group rear.  Notice that the guy on the left has a d*ck hanging down (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

And one with a sock.

Gay: he's on a list of gay male celebrities, but there are also clips saying "Andrew responds to gay rumors," "I'm not gay no more," "Andrew finds out that he's gay,"  "Andrew's gay lover," "Andrew fails the gay test," "Andrew comes out."

Well, which is it?  Is he gay, ex-gay, straight, bi, pan, straight but pretending to be gay as a joke?

Who is this guy, anyway?'

He appears in Game Over, Man and Adam Devine's House Party, and later interviews Adam on the Whiskey Ginger podcast: "What was your worst review?"

Adam: "I don't really get bad reviews, but sometimes they devote three paragraphs to my dick and only two lines to my acting."

He hangs out with the Always Sunny guys. 

He has 40 credits on the IMDB, including substantial roles in:

 I'm Dying Up Here, about the L.A. comedy scene in 1973.  All fictional comedians.

This is Us, "a heartwarming and unique story of a unique set of triplets." Andrew does not play one of the triplets.

Beef, about a road rage incident that spins into a comedy of errors.

Dave, with Dave Burt playing himself as an aspiring rapper. Andrew plays his roommate and manager.

Ricky Stanicky: Three best friends, one gay, invent Ricky to blame their misdeeds on. Andrew plays the focus character, who wants to kill Ricky to get out of attending his pregnant wife's baby shower.

More Andrew after the break

Adam Devine's House Party, Episode 3.1: Hawaii gets gay marriage. With bonus nude Hawaiian dudes.

I'm not a big fan of Adam Devine's House Party, the Comedy Central series spotlighting up-and-coming stand-up comedians.  The two episodes I've reviewed were heterosexist, promoting "all boys like girls and all girls like boys" rhetoric. It's like crashing a party where you weren't invited, so everyone pretends that you're invisible. Plus Adam's persona is authoritarian, self-aggrandizing, and unpleasant.  But he takes his shirt off.

One more try: in Season 3, the party moves to Hawaii, where there's bound to be some muscle guys in Speedos.  In Episode 3.1, Adam marries a dude! No way they can do that without mentioning LGBT people. 

Link to NSFW version

Scene 1: Adam announces that for tonight's episode, he is taking over a resort in Hawaii.  Mary the Hotel Manager says no, he can't, because the space is reserved for a wedding. He'll have to do it tomorrow.  Adam claims that he's the one who reserved the space: he'll be getting married on the show tonight.  Ok, but he'd better get married, or she'll unplug the show on the spot. 

Intro: Beach babe, Adam kissing a girl, accidentally pouring ketchup on his pants. running out of the surf, a disgusting closeup of a girl's bare butt.  Guest comedians: Chris Garcia, Jacob Williams, Megan Gailey

Scene 2: Afternoon.  Darn, everyone is fully clothed except for a big-boobed girl at the drink stand.  Adam reveals to the comedians that he has to get married tonight.  Chris is married already, so it's down to Jacob and Megan.   

The two go off by themselves to discuss it: Jacob is heterosexual, so he's not attracted to guys in general, and Megan is heterosexual but not attracted to Adam at all.  But he's rich, so being his partner might be fun. They call him back: "One of us will marry you.  But you're gonna have to woo us." They act like this will be a forever marriage.  Why not just have a pretend wedding? 

Scene 3: Chris Garcia riffs on how boring soccer is, Hispanic-American culture, and comics who make fun of how their parents talk.  

Scene 4: Jacob is excited about the wedding, and the honeymoon: he has booked them the bridal suite at the hotel.  Hey, bait and switch writers: when the comedians say "you'll have to woo us," there have to be unny bits where Adam tries to woo them. Ever hear of Chekhov's Gun?

 Adam reveals that he's decided on Megan because she's a girl, and, you know, he is into girls.  

Wait -- Manager Mary is watching, so they have to act like they're in love. They should kiss.

Adam recoils in disgust at the idea of kissing another dude. He's always hugging guys, pressing foreheads, grabbing butts, even on this show. Here he has a group massage with Jak Knight and Brandon Wardell.  But kissing is another matter entirely.  I would never kiss a girl, no matter what the script said.

Jacob suggests that they move their faces together as if they are kissing, and grab butts.  Mary is satisfied; "They're boyfriends."

Scene 5: Jacob riffs on having sex with his girlfriend, and finishing too soon. I fast-forwarded. 

Scene 6: Manager Mary wants to know where Adam's fiance is.  He shoves Jacob out of the way and explains that they are ex-boyfriends. It's hard to get over him -- "I love cock!"  -- but Adam is with Megan now. She won't kiss him, but Manager Mary is satisfied.

Scene 7: Megan riffs on being attracted to men in boat shoes and the problem of doing female-centered humor.

Scene 8: Blake is performing the Adam-Megan wedding.  When he asks if anyone objects, Jacob comes forward: "We're both heterosexual men, but I need money."  

Adam objects that if he marries Megan, he'll get to have sex, but she is disgusted by the idea, and backs out.  So it's Jacob.  

Blake: "It's freakin' sick (good), Dude.  Love rules. I now pronounce you man and another man, they're both men, men together." 

Jacob and Adam shake hands and walk into the crowd, Adam grimacing in disgust.  At that moment, the real couple arrives.  Manager Mary says "I knew something was up," and pulls the plug.  The end.

Beefcake: Only in the opening shots.

Gay Characters: Never.

My Grade:  This episode, which aired in March 2016, is a riff on same-sex marriage, which was legalized in Hawaii in October 2013, and everywhere in the U.S. in June 2015. Everyone is completely nonchalant about it, which is a plus, but how about having some real gay people at your party, Adam?  And lay off the graphic display of bikini babe butts. C.

Nude Hawaiian dudes on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

"Adam Devine's House Party" Episode 1.3: A bisexual foam orgy is promised

Adam Devine's House Party (2013-2016) appeared simultaneously with Workaholics -- apparently  Comedy Central though that their viewers would watch anything with Adam Devine.  And maybe they were right.

Adam plays "himself" (with his usual goofball persona) hosting a party in a gigantic mansion.  He strikes out with girls a lot. Some of the guests play themselves, and others play fictional characters.  Comedians drop by and riff.  There are scripted plots.   You'll be reminded of the sitcom-standup mesh of The Larry Sanders Show a little bit, but it's really for fans of Adam's unique brand of self-referential comedy.   

I reviewed Episode 1.3, "Foam Party," because Adam is trying to get a foam-based orgy started, so maybe they'll be some nudity and gay subtexts. 

Scene 1: Adam charging admission.  His parties are usually free, but today he's got a foam machine, so there's going to be a redunk orgy, no one with crabs allowed. He invites the ladies to take off their panties (and dudes, if they're wearing panties).  

The full review is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends