Sam Sherpa-Moore: Sherpa actor fights a watermelon, flirts with Doctor Who, shows his stuff. With Joel's backside and Callum's d*ck

Link to the n*de photos

In "Joy to the World," the 2024 Doctor Who Christmas special, the Fifteenth Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) visits the year 4202, where a Time Hotel offers vacationers portals to various eras in Earth's history: Aztec Mexico, the signing of the Magna Carta, and so on.

  I didn't like it much: this Doctor was gay throughout Season 1 of the new series, but here a perfect potential boyfriend (Joel Fry) is killed off immediately, and the Doc spends a year living with a girlfriend before returning to the Time Hotel to save the day.  (As Season 2 progresses, he falls head-over-heels for his new female companion.)

Joel Fry n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

But I liked the two scenes with Sir Edmund Hillary (Phil Baxter) and Tenzing Norgay (Samuel Sherpa-Moore), the first climbers to reach the summit of Mount Everest (March-May 1953).  Wait -- guests at the Time Hotel can just drop in on them?

The Doctor drops in unexpectedly while searching for the episode Bad Guy, and offers them "a ham and cheese toastie" and a "pumpkin latte."

 He reappears to steal rope and a grappling hook.

Later, the two watch the Christmas star together.  They are definitely being presented as a gay couple.  And though both men married (Tenzin three times) and had children, who can say that they didn't find time for each other?

Tenzing was played by Samuel Sherpa-Moore, his great-grandnephew!  

Born in 2000 in Bloxham (a village in the Cotswolds about 25 miles from Oxford), Sam studied law at university (and played for the Easlington Football Club).  In Britain, you complete an undergraduate degree in law, then take a one-year apprenticeship to become a barrister or solicitor, but the COVID lockdown put the apprenticeship on hold.  With nothing else to do, Sam began submitting his acting reel to open casting auditions.  Soon he had an agent, and was picking up small parts.

A rower in The Boys in the Boat (2023), about the University of Washington rowing team in the 1930s.  Directed by George Clooney, with Callum Turner (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) as a teammate.

Two episodes of The Crown (2023), playing a classmate of Prince William (Ed McVey, in front).

A student at Shiz University in Wicked (2024). He notes: "I had to act like Glinda (Ariana Grande) was 'the bee's knees.'"  So pretending to be into a girl was a real test of your acting ability?

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Gemstones Season 1 Finale: Judy and Kelvin start to heal, Scotty joins the family, and we say goodbye with some random d*cks

Link to the Season Finale D*cks

Showrunner Danny McBride has stated that he wants every season of his programs to tell a complete story: no callbacks to previous seasons, and no cliffhangers.  By the finale, every plotline has been resolved and every character development arc has been concluded.  He also hates downbeat endings, so the season finale tells us that "they lived happily ever after"  

In The Righteous Gemstones Season 1, the primary plot featured Gideon betraying the family, first by blackmailing Jesse over the tape of his wild party, then by planning to steal the Easter offerings from the church, plus betraying Scotty by not acknowledgeing their romantic bond.  Secondary plots involved Eli butting heads with Rev. Seasons over his church expansion, and Kelvin and Judy dealing with obstacles in their relationships.  The finale ties all of the plotlines into a single theme: forgiveness.

Back in Freeman's Gap :  Church. In his sermon, Eli describes his visit to Aimee-Leigh's childhood home, where he interacted with her spirit.  Cut to a flashback of the siblings collecting the money that Baby Billy and Tiffany stole from Scotty's van.

He continues: "We move through this world, crossing paths with friends, family...and I believe that the goal of all that colliding is to make us appreciate one another, to find empathy." Shots of Martin, Mandy (Chad's wife), and Chad, sitting far away from her. 

Rev. Seasons is redeemed: Cut to a flashback of Rev. Seasons  (Dermot Mulroney) working in a hardware store (Baptist churches are autonomous, so if one closes you don't automatically get placed elsewhere). Eli offers him a job as pastor of the satellite church that Baby Billy abandoned. Rev. Seasons was a secondary Big Bad, but Eli stole his flock, so we are not sure who needs forgiveness more.

"If you're not rooting for your enemy's salvation, you are not in line with what the Spirit wants."  Shots of Dot Nancy and her parents, BJ, Keefe (working security again), Martin's wife, a couple I don't recognize, and Jesse's crew (Matthew, Gregory, and Levi).  Notice that BJ and Keefe are linked, structurally presented as the partners of Judy and Kelvin.  They won't begin sitting together until Season 3. 

Scotty is redeemed: "Aimee-Leigh knew this. That's why she wanted to help, no matter what."  Shot of the spirit of Aimee-Leigh sitting in the congregation, glowing in ethereal light, with Scotty beside her. 

He looks more bemused than happy, surprised that he has been forgiven, wondering how he came to be sitting here, after all the pain he caused Gideon and the Gemstone family.  Remember that both BJ and Keefe had to suffer symbolic deaths before they could unite with their partners.  Did Scotty, in death, become Gideon's partner?  

Maybe, in spite of his machinations, posturing, criticism, and threats, in spite of the hints of abuse, this is what Scotty wanted all along.  After all, the goal of the two schemes was to draw Gideon away from his family so they could spend their lives together. Maybe he couldn't admit it to himself, so it came out in random bursts, like calling Gideon "cute," taking him out on dates, and finally admitting, just before his death, that "you broke my heart."  Aimee Leigh helped him understand what he needed, what he wanted, and she has made him a Gemstone.

Baby Billy grifts: "For when you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you."  Cut to Baby Billy and Tiffany selling their new gimmick, pictures of his trip to heaven. I guess they haven't been redeemed yet. 

More after the break

Ansel Pierce: "Duster" Baby Face and "Euphoria" Big D*ck, with Rar Boy, Chubby Guy, and West Hollywood digressions

Link to the n*de dudes

In Duster Episode 1.4, 1970s mob driver Jim Ellis (why not name him Duster?) and the boss's Probably Gay Son (Josh Holloway, Benjamin Charles Watson) are transporting Howard Hughes' car across the Arizona desert, when they almost crash into a car being driven by two guys who aren't named, so I'll call them Rat Boy and Baby Face (left).  

They look like  Mormon missionaries, but their bumper sticker says "Vacuums suck," so they may be salesmen. 

Jim/Duster and Probably Gay Son stop at Floyd's Gas and Go, and the guys follow.  Ulp, their trunk is filled with guns, cables, ropes, and baseball bats embedded with spikes.  They're baddies!  While Jim/Duster is occupied with an unrelated assassination attempt, the Mormon missionary-baddies beat up the mechanic and the Probably Gay Son, and steal the car!   

Jim/Duster and his assassin-turned-ally track them down and kill them, Baby Face with a knife to his head (through an open car window while they're driving side by side), and Rat Boy with a shot in the back.

We learn no more about the characters, but I wanted to research the actors, especially Baby Face.

Rat Boy is played by Garrett Young, who has 13 acting credits on IMDB, including Timid Pimps, Other People's Heads (where he played a head), and Chicago Justice/Med/Fire. 

As a stage actor, he has appeared in John Proctor is the Villain on Broadway, Clyde's, and The Oresteia.  

His Instagram has the "no women," "a lot of hugging guys," and "world's best uncle" gay codes until you get to the very end, where there are a lot of photos of his wife and kid.

On to Baby Face.

We've seen him before -- a lot of him.  He is Ansel Wolf Pierce, best known as Caleb, a recurring character in Euphoria Season 2, and particularly for the house party scene in Episode 2.1: Cassie is hiding in the bathtub when he comes in and sits on the toilet, revealing...omg, that thing is huge!  Noticing her, he apologizes: "You're really hot but I still gotta take a sh*t."  She doesn't mind.

I repeat: OMG,  that thing is huge!

We see his backside, too, but who was paying attention to that?

Plus Ansel has a social media presence, for a change.

A "versatile young talent making waves in the world of modeling and acting" (and d*cks), he graduated from Fossil Ridge High School in Fort Collins, Colorado, in 2018, then studied business at the University of Colorado.  

While he was in college, a photographer noticed him (and his d*ck) and invited him to L.A. for a fashion shoot.  He decided that modeling would be his career.

Today Ansel is represented by Wilhelmina Models, where he is listed as 6'2", waist 38, shoe size 12, d*ck size  -- well, we already know about that.

More after the break

Marcel Ruiz: "One Day at a Time" boy grows up, plays gay guys, wears dresses, kisses girls. You figure him out. With Lucas backside and Jackson junk

Link to the n*de photos

When I was in high school, Tuesday night meant Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, and One Day at a Time (1975-84).   a "hip sitcom" with divorced mom Anne Romano (Bonnie Franklin) moving from small-town Logansport to Indianapolis to raise her kids: rebellious Julie, popular Barbara, and eventually the exceptionally femme Alex (Glenn Scarpelli).  Building handyman Schneider popped in all the time.

The theme song brings me back to those nights, sitting in the living room with my parents and brother and sister, doing my homework on a clipboard. No matter what problems I was facing outside, with screaming preachers and sadistic teachers and the constant refrain of "what girl do you like?", I was safe here.

This is it (this is it); this is life, the one you get, so go and have a ball.
This is it (this is it): straight ahead, and rest assured, you can't be sure at all.
So while you're here, enjoy the view, keep on doin' what you do.
Hang on tight, we'll muddle through -- one day at a time.

In 2017, a re-imagining appeared on Netflix, only to be cancelled, moved to Pop and TVLand, and cancelled again in 2020.  It was a re-imagining because it had nothing to do with the original series except for the title, the theme song, and characters named Alex and Schneider.  Here they are a Hispanic family living in Echo Park, Los Angeles: army nurse Lupe; social activist Elena; and popular Alex (Marcel Ruiz).  Grandma Rita Moreno pops in frequently.

I watched an episode out of curiosity, but didn't like it.  Mostly ladies; no cute guys (Todd Grinnell as Schneider was not my type). And why did they keep the name Alex but remove his gay coding?  

Besides, watching on my laptop in my home office in 2017 was just not the same as watching in the living room surrounded by my family in 1977.

Then I saw Isabella Gomez and Marcel Ruiz (who played Elena and Alex) in a video for the It Gets Better project.  Isabella talks about how Elena struggles with coming out as a queer Latinx woman, and starts dating the nonbinary Syd.  "Normalizing lesbian and nonbinary identities on tv plays an important role in creating acceptance in real life."  Marcel adds that if your family doesn't accept you, there are others who do. You can find a chosen family.  "It gets better. Just keep going through life everyday."  Not "one day at a time"?

Isabella plays a queer character, but why is Marcel there?  Alex is straight.  You're looking quite femme in that outfit, buddy. Are you gay in real life, like the original? 

Time for a profile.

Marcel was born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, in 2003.  His mother, Mariem Pérez Riera, is an Emmy-winning director known for her biography of Rita Morena (not coincidentally, grandma on One Day at a Time). His father, Carlitos Ruíz Ruíz, is a "photographer, storyteller, and filmmaker" known for Maldeamores (2007), about a love triangle.

For someone born into a family of film makers, Marcel doesn't have a lot of acting gigs listed on the IMDB.  His career starts with an episode of Snowfall (2017), a tv series about the cocaine panic in Los Angeles in the early 1980.  Damson Idris (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) stars as a drug dealer.  Marcel plays a young Sandanista operative spying on the CIA in Nicaragua. He gets killed.  

His first starring role was in Breakthrough (2019): When a boy with the crazily Anglo name John Smith (Marcel) drowns in a lake, his Mom prays that he will be brought back "from the brink of death."  Did he die or almost die?  

Josh Lucas (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) plays the boy's Dad, and Topher Grace of That 70s Show plays the megachurch pastor.  

Marcel apparently belongs to a megachurch in real life, too.

Sounds Christian, which means homophobic, but Topher Grace went on to star in Home Economics (2021-23), and Marcel, to One Day at a Time (2017-20).  Both of their characters have gay sisters.  Go figure.

 Marcel has only two post-Days roles:

A Bad Bunny music video, Baile inolvidable (Unforgettable dance, 2025).  A lot of male-female couples dance while their friends cheer them on.  

And the short Telaraña (2025) : The teenage Naomi faces the "disturbing truth" about her family, involving a giant spider (araña).  Marcel plays her brother Lolo.

Plus two upcoming projects.

Summer of Three (filming completed in 2026): After his father's death, Javi (Marcel) returns to Puerto Rico, where he becomes involved in a love triangle with Luife (Paolo Schone) and his girlfriend Kiki.  I can't tell from the plot description and photos if the two men are competing for the lady, or if all three fall in love. 

More after the break

Mr. Bigstuff: Short guy with big stuff isn't into ladies, has a gay boss and a psycho brother. With six big reveals and lots of backsides

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I don't have a lot of  luck with Britcoms.  The references have me scurrying to the internet, the jokes a little too droll, and I can never tell if the actions are meant to be sitcom exaggerations or over-the-top bizarre.  But I'm checking out Mr. Bigstuff, which just dropped on Hulu, because it stars Ryan Sampson, gay in real life and 5'4". 

"Bigstuff" is one of those culturally specific references.  There's no definition online. Does it mean that the guy is important, a "big shot," or that he's a "big dog," gifted beneath the belt?

Episode 1, Scene 1: Glen (Ryan Sampson) and his girlfriend parking in the car outside a horribly decrepit office building.  She consoles him for being unable to do stuff.  It's been a long time.  Maybe he's not into you, lady.  Or not into ladies at all.  But they're still getting married in 100 days.  

Scene 2:  Glen at his horrible, soul-destroying job as a carpet salesman.  He's pointing out some boring heterosexual stuff to a boy-girl couple, when the Manager comes by.  He asks for a promotion.  In response, the Manager pretends to shoot him.  He falls to the ground, "dead."  I guess that's a no?  

Left: The Manager is played by Adrian Scarborough (backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), who I thought was in The Thursday Murder Club.  He's not, and I deleted my review due to low pageviews.

Meanwhile, a hand smokes cigarettes and drinks beer.  Eventually it turns into a burly bloke, who bursts into the carpet store and asks the receptionist if she's seen "this geezer," displaying a photo of a schoolboy. In the U.S. a "geezer" is old. She calls the Manager.  The situation escalates to Burly Guy choking him and demanding to know where the "geezer" is.

Glen hides behind some display cases, then runs out and drives home.  

Left: Burly Guy is played by Danny Dyer, who is straight but played a gay character in Borstal Boy (2000) and the father of a gay teen on East Enders.

Scene 3: At home, the Girlfriend from Scene 1 is lying in bed.  She explains that there was a gas leak at work, so everyone had to leave, and he explains that he just popped in to get his sandwiches.  I expect that there's a man hiding in the closet. 

Nope: "Get in here, you c*nt."  In the U.S., that term is extremely offensive, and it refers only to ladies, but I think here it's just a mild expletive, like "dope." 

Glenn backside is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends..

They discuss boring heterosexual stuff as Glen undresses (no beefcake).  She tries to get him to do stuff, but he refuses.  You're in bed with your lady at 10:00 on a workday.  Why wouldn't you want to, unless you're not into ladies?

Next Glen drinks something from a water glass by the bedside, then starts to gag.  Girlfriend apologizes -- she didn't expect him to drink it (then why was it on his side of the bed?).  They're both very upset.  

We never learn what it was.  Maybe Metamucil, or a lady supplement?

She rushes downstairs to fetch him some tea -- and finds the Burly Guy sitting on the couch!

Scene 4:  Glen throws the disgusting liquid at him, and Girlfriend runs for the pepper spray.  "You can't be here!  Get out of my house!"

"I just want to talk, Glen!" he exclaims.  

Girlfriend; "You know each other?"  Big Reveal #1

"No.  Not really...I mean, I used to."  This upsets Burly Guy, and he leaves.

Burly Guy's backside is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Scene 5: Back at work, everyone is gossiping about what happened earlier "with that geezer and the Manager."  Is that a common phrase in Britain for someone under age 80?   

A woman is upset that she wasn't around to see him "get shanked."  In the U.S., "shanked" means being stabbed.  

The Manager calls Glen, crying: "You need to get here immediately! I'm sorry -- I didn't know!  I can't do this!"  Burly Guy comes onto the phone and tells him: "Dagenham, by the water, where he passed away.  You know the spot."  Darn, I thought they were old boyfriends.

Scene 6: The subtitles say Dagenheim, which sounds Norwegian, but it's actually Dagenham, a terrible industrial suburb of London, right on the Thames.  

Glen arrives and yells "Don't do this!  Don't kill the Manager!"

"Kill him?  I've just given him a cheese twist and a flapjack." Big Reveal #2.

More after the break

John Karlen: Vampire's boyfriend, lesbian subtext husband, bi guy shows his stuff in 1971. Plus Sean Penn and Tim Matheson

 

Link to the n*de photos

During the hippie era, what kid didn't run home from school every day to catch the last ten or fifteen minutes of the Gothic soap Dark Shadows (1966-71)?   It wasn't enough time to comprehend most of the plotlines, but you could get a glimpse of the blatant romance between brooding vampire Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid) and his boyfriend..um...hired hand, Willie Loomis (John Karlen).  Probably not deliberate in the late 1960s, but since Jonathan Frid and several other cast members were gay and John Karlen arguably bi, it's a possibility.

I've already covered the romance in detail, but I thought it was high time for a profile of John Karlen.

John was born in Brooklyn in 1933, to Polish immigrant parents.  After high school he served in the Korean War, then attended the American Academy of Dramatic Arts, graduating in 1958.  

Between 1958 and 1965, John made his mark on Broadway with roles in Sweet Bird of Youth, Invitation to a March, Arturo Ui, The Milk Train Doesn't Stop Here, All in Good Time, and Postmark Zero. Wow, Tennessee Williams, Bertolt Brecht...classy.

Plus episodes of those standalone dramas that they broadcast in the early days of television, before they figured out that ongoing situations would draw in more viewers: Kraft Theater, Armstrong Circle Theater, Camera Three.  

The boy was 34 years old, and on his way to a serious dramatic career.  Then, for a reason lost to history, he switched to soap operas.

John appeared in 74 episodes of the CBS soap  Love is a Many Splendored Thing  (1967-68) as "sneering playboy" Jock Porter.  He begins dating Chinese-American medical student Mia while she is "on a break" from her regular boyfriend (without telling him).  But she discovers that Jock paid for his previous girlfriend's illegal operation, dumps him and returns to Hong Kong.

When he wasn't on the CBS call sheet, John walked three blocks over to ABC, to play con man Jason Maguire's "friend," Willie Loomis on Dark Shadows.  When Barnabas Collins was introduced, he was upgraded to vampire companion, and appeared on 179 episodes (1967-71). 

He also buddy-bonded with the vampire as Desmond Collins in 1840, and as the flamboyant "green carnation" Carl Collins in 1897. 

After Dark Shadows, John's vampire background got him a starring role in the "erotic horror" Daughters of Darkness (1971).  Stefan (John) falls in love with Valerie, and says that they have to elope because his "mother" will disapprove.  Surprise!  He's in a gay relationship with Fons Rademaker, who of course disapproves of being dumped for a girl.

The newlyweds check into a hotel in Belgium, where they meet the famous real-life vampire Elizabeth Báthory and her lesbian girlfriend.  Romances, bedroom stuff, psychological games, and murder follow.  Only Valerie survives.

I don't recommend it because it's nonstop n*de ladies, but there's a gay connection, and we get to see John's backside.  Several times (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

And his d*ck, but it's too small and blurry for a decent screen capture, so I posted Malcolm McDowall instead?  A Clockwork Orange premiered in 1971, also.

More after the break

Gemstone Season 1 Memes: Kelvin bottoms, Gideon falls in love, and Keefe checks for s*men loads

 

This is a series of memes -- jokes -- featuring Kelvin and Keefe of The Righteous Gemstones, their friends, and a few random n*de hunks.  Most don't require you to have any background knowledge of the show

Link to the n*de hunks

1. Big Vic.  

His biceps aren't so big, but...

2. Kelvin and Keefe meet on Grinder. 

PreacherKid28: Hot d*ck pic!

BabyQueef: Thnks. You got a d*ck pic?

PreacherKid28: No, but I'll take one now.  Like it?

BabyQueef: Nice.  You a bottom or a top?

PreacherKid28: Top.

3. N*de dude

4. It's just random, not trying to tell you anything.

Kelton: Why do I have to be homophobic in my first scene?  Viewers will hate me.

Danny: We need an excuse to reveal that Jesse has gay friends.

Kelton:  But why now?  Gideon won't show up for a long time. This is right ater the first scene between Kelvin and Keefe.

Danny: Oh, is it?  I hadn't noticed.

5. I like your outfit too, girlfriend

More memes  after the break.

Jett Klyne: The future bisexual superhero spends his teen years bodybuilding and dating guys. With two twink d*cks and an Ecuadorian dude

  

Link to the n*de photos

In Wandavision (2021), the Scarlet Witch, memory-wiped and trapped in a sitcom world, has two sons, Billy and Tommy (Justin Hilliard, Jeff Klyne).  In Agatha All Along (2024), after being adopted by a Jewish family and losing and regaining his memory, Billy Maximoff becomes the gay Jewish superhero Wiccan.  So of course I had to do a profile of Justin.

But what about Tommy Maximoff (Jett Klyne)?  He grows up to become the superhero Speed, who is bisexual in the comics: he dated Kate Bishop in Young Avengers: The Children's Crusade (2010-12), and the male superhero Prodigy in Emperor Hulkling (2020).  He explains "I crushed on who I crushed on."   

Maybe I'd better do a profile of Jett, too.

Jett arguably has a more gay/femme affect.

And he has spent his teen years working out.  

I'll answer the standard two questions: has Jett appeared in any movies or tv shows of gay interest?; and is he gay in real life?

Gay-Themed Movies/TV Shows:

 In 2014, when Jett was seven years old, he was in Writing Kim: Aspiring writer Annie (Jett's Mom) heads off on a road trip seeking inspiration, and meets Kim, who has a husband and son (Jett) but also likes ladies. Kim inspires her to embrace her sexual fluidity (you mean she's bi?)  In 2020, it was selected for qFlix, the Philadelphia LGBTQ film festival.  

According to his IMDB biography, Jett's break-out role was in Z (2019).  So a one-word title was too long?  Joshua (Jett) has an "imaginary" friend, Z, who gets more and more disruptive, sabotaging his relationship with his real life friend Daniel and trying to hurt his father.  Finally we learn that Z is using Joshua to get to his mother. 

I haven't seen it, but the gay subtexts sort of jump out at you, don't they?

Left: Since Jett is 16 as of this writing, I won't be looking for n*de photos, so I put a random twink on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

He has a lot of pre-Wandavision guest appearances, mostly in movies that I never heard of: Devil in the Dark, Manny Dearest, The Humanity Bureau, Skyscraper.  Plus three significant post-Wanda movies:

The Boy in the Woods (2023). During World War II, as the Jewish population of Buczarc is being rounded up for the concentration camps, Max (Jett) is sent to live with Janko (Richard Armitage), a synpathetic non-Jewish farmer.  But Janko fears for his family's safety, so he kicks the boy out.  While hiding in the woods, Max forms a buddy-bond with the sensitive, artistic, gay-coded Yanek (David Kohlsmith, right); they discuss their future living together as artists in Paris, and try to adopt the baby of a dying woman. 

Yanek dies, but the baby grows up, and Max re-unites with her in old age, so symbolically the two had a family.  A definite gay subtext or text.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.9 : Kelvin goes dark, Keefe goes down, and Captain America saves the day. With a Haitian dude bonus

Go directly to the n*de  guys

Episode 1.8 ended with all of the Gemstone siblings and their partners broken up, plus Gideon cast out from the family.  It's going to take a lot of work to make things right again.  

Chicken bone voodoo:  After a flashback to Aimee-Leigh's death (and a bee that will re-appear later in the episode),we cut to Eli finding about about the blackmail, Jesse's assault of Rev. Seasons, and Judy's embezzlement. Kelvin stood by and let them do things that he knew was wrong, so he's just as guilty. Eli angrily fires them all. 

Jesus never dated much: Sibling movie night at Kelvin's house ((notice the K and the arcade game behind their couch).  They're watching The Neverending Story at the scene where Artax  horse/companion of the hero Atreyu (Noah Hathaway, top photo), is literally consumed by his sadness, sinking into the Swamp of Sadness to his death.  Atreyu yells: "Fight against the sadness. You have to try. You have to care. You're my friend.  I love you."  Suddenly Kelvin bursts into tears (Top photo: star Noah Hathaway, no doubt one of the teen idols of Kelvin's youth).  

In the movie, the Childlike Empress is sick, thus allowing the Darkness (hopelessmess, despair) to slowly devour the Kingdom of Fantasia.  Young hero Atreyu is looking for a cure to save Fantasia, but he is unable to save his horse/friend Artax.  Maybe Kelvin is thinking of how he couldn't save Keefe from the Nothing.

But for now, Kelvin is lost in his own Sadness: "My emotions are all over the place. I feel like I'm coming unhinged." The siblings ignore him, so he repeats: I'm in emotional turmoil, dealing with some very painful questions about myself."  

"For real?"  Jesse immediately becomes serious.  Remember, he thinks that Kelvin is gay, but in denial.  Is he ready to come out?

Nope.  "I've always felt like, maybe, I'm Him."  He's always felt like he is Jesus? Say what?  Dude, that's full-blown psychosis.

Actually, many cult leaders claim to be Jesus.  Wikipedia lists 40 in the 20th and 21st centuries alone, including Jim Jones, Marshall Applewhite, Charles Manson, Shoko Asahara, David Koresh.  It doesn't usually end well.

Kevin's reasons: we both care about people; people like us, and want to follow us. Plus: "He didn't date much, didn't have the urge or the need to.  That's me for days."

Fans sometimes use this line to argue that Kelvin is asexual or aromantic, not experiencing desire for anyone, but in a heteronormative society, surely he means "urge or need to date women."  

Jesse, aware of another reason for Kelvin's lack of interest in women, assure him that he's not Jesus, but "that doesn't mean you're not a decent man."  Notice that he uses the term "man," signifying that Kelvin is grown-up, an adult, regardless of his sexual identity.

But Kelvin doesn't buy it.  Another voice is telling him, "If you can't be him, maybe you can be me...Satan."  We know from the Satanic Sweep and the Club Sinister rescue that, in Kelvin's eyes, Satan is all about s*x, or s*x is all about Satan.  The only way he can explain his homoerotic desire, and maybe his homoerotic intimacy, is by fashioning himself "the Dark Lord of the family."  After all of this, how did fans continue to argue that Kelvin was straight?

He's very tired -- he hasn't been sleeping well lately. Because he usually shares his bed with Keefe?  And he misses Mama, who used to tell him that everything's gonna be ok.  She's gone, so Jesse and Judy step up: "Everything's gonna be ok.  You'll get it figured out."  It's not hard to figure out, Dude.  Lots of people are gay.

Some bonus Haitian guys before we continue.  N*de dudes on  RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

 

He's not my boyfriend:  Earlier in the episode, Kelvin reveals that "he's coming apart," certain that his lack of interest in women and recent forays into "darkness" signify that he is the Devil.  The siblings tried to comfort him, but apparently it didn't help: he shows up at the teen group wearing a Goth teddy boy outfit, mascara, pale lipstick, dark glasses, and shiny vinyl pants, and announces "I have transformed myself into something Dark."  He's not Jesus, but a vile creature of sin.  He must leave them.  

But his replacement, Ronald Meyers (Josh Warren), is "pure": chubby, greasy-haired, an assistant manager at the GameStop.  One can't help but conclude that "pure" means "never had s*x," a contrast with Kelvin, who obvioulsy has. 

Kelvin makes a dramatic exit.  Dot Nancy, whom he rescued from Club Sinister, scoffs, as if to say "What an idiot!", and follows. "Is this about your boyfriend?"  Notice that she is not being pejorative; she honestly believes that they are a gay couple.  

Kelvin corrects her:  "Ok, no, he's not my boyfriend. We're just a couple dudes who like to hang out. Why?"  He's being awfully nonchalant -- compare Season 3, where "rumors swirling around" drive him into a panic.  He's already the Dark Lord, a being infused by homoerotic desire, so why get upset over a simple mistake?

Fans who insist that "Kelvin is straight!" often point to this statement, but maybe they're not "boyfriends," partners in a caring, emotionally-fulfilling relationship.  Kelvin believes that Satan is all about s*x, not love, so whatever he feels for Keefe -- whatever he does with Keefe -- must be driven solely by lust.   

That will all change in a moment, when Dot shows him Keefe's instagram page. He has returned to his old job as a performance artist at Club Sinister: "The baby is back!"  and "Haven't I fallen far enough?"  

More after the break

"Wonder Man": Not-quite-gay struggling actor, superhero, or both? Plus Yahya and Ben Kingsley show their stuff

 

Link to the not fully clothed dudes

Wonder Man (2026) has two contradictory premise descriptions.  On Disney Plus, it's  about "two actors at opposite ends of their careers" (Yahya Abdul-Mateen, Ben Kingsley), so we're expecting a wry comedy-drama about show business, like Entourage.  

On the IMDB, it's about a guy who gets superpowers and "is thrust into the world of superheroes," so we're expecting aerial battles with costumed baddies, like The X-Men.

Different types of viewers will be interested in each.  It's cute the way the try to rope in each.  But won't it backfire when half of the audience realizes that it's been tricked?

Plus Ben is gay in real life, Yahya showed his stuff in Watchmen (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), and both have played gay characters, so there's bound to be some representation.  And maybe some stuff

Episode 1, "Matinee."  

Scene 1: A low-budget 1960s style superhero movie, with the caped crusader Wonder Man (Dane Larson) having a poorly-choreographed fight with some evil aliens.  Pull back to reveal a bored dad and fascinated son, Young Simon (Kameron J. Meadows). 

Cut to the grown-up Simon (Yahya) marking up a script, then doing shuddering and squealing warm-ups.  The production assistant (Talha Ehtasham) fetches him, and they walk across the entire studio, in a call-back to those backstage movies of the Golden Age of Hollywood.  

They reach a  university classroom set on American Horror Story.  The director describes the scene: Classes are over, and Professor Harpin (Simon) is packing up his desk, when Laura enters.  They discuss the Aztec God of the Unalive. Then Laura turns into a monster and bites his head off.

Simon offers more and more nitpicking suggestions: "If I'm jealous of Laura getting tenure, should I be friendly?  Shouldn't I be packing up a copy of  Aztec Thought and Culture instead of Aztec Civilization?"   He researched the Aztecs for one line in a cheesy movie? The director and gaffer get more and more annoyed, and finally cut the character.  Your own fault, buddy.

Scene 2: Establishing shots of the Hollywood Sign, highway traffic jams (I remember those!) and people waiting in a long line to audition.   Simon returns to his apartment to find guys moving everything out.  His girlfriend is dumping him, and taking her stuff.  Hetero identity established at minute 9:40. She explains that he is emotionally distant.  As she leaves, the building shakes.  Earthquake, or is Simon getting superpowers? 

Scene 3: Simon goes to see Midnight Cowboy (1969), with Jon Voight as a gay-ish adult performer.  Getting some tips for your new career, buddy?   

A creepy old guy (Ben Kingsley) is talking loudly on his phone. To "Sweetie," presumably his girlfriend.  Hetero identity established immediately.  Simon tells him to shut up, but Old Guy thinks it's ok because it's just the movie trivia and commercials. 

Simon recognizes him as Trevor, who played The Mandarin ten years ago, and Edgar Allan Poe in the 1970s.

Scene 4: They watch the movie, and are impressed by the gay-subtext romance between Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman.  "Touching... moving...powerful."  Afterwards, Simon annoys Trevor with his nitpicking trivia about the film; he would rather talk about Schlesinger's production of Timon of Athens.

Trevor has to leave, as he is auditioning for Wonder Man.  Simon's favorite movie as a kid!   

More after the break

A gay romance on "Barnaby Jones"? Yes, the one starring Jed Clampett and Catwoman

It's the cold,  windy Thursday night four days before Halloween, during my senior year in high school.  The family has gathered in front of the tv set, as usual: the tv is on every night from dinnertime to bedtime, a backdrop to all of our other activities.

7:00: Welcome Back, Kotter.   The high school underachievers evaluate the principal's novel, John Travolta says "Up your nose with a rubber hose," and Horshak (Ron Pallilo) explains, yet again, that his name means "The cattle are dying."  Yawn.

7:30: What's Happening!. Inner city prettyboy Dwayne (Haywood Nelson) helps his dad run for city council.  I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm still mesmerized by the guy's bulge and backside.

At 8:00, my parents want to watch Barney Miller, but I go upstairs to watch James at Fifteen on my small portable tv.  It's the second episode of the teen drama starring Lance Kerwin as a high school swimmer.  

When it's over, I turn off the tv and start doing homework.  A few minutes later, my brother Ken comes clomping up the stairs.  "You'll never guess what they're watching down there!" he exclaims.  "Barnaby Jones!"

"You're kidding -- Jed Clampett as a private eye?"  The oldster detective is played by the star of the Beverly Hillbillies.

"And Catwoman is his secretary!"  Lee Meriwether, who plays Barnaby's daughter-in-law, was Catwoman on Batman.

"Gross!  Next they'll have Scooby-Doo!"

Ken laughs.  "Don't take my word for it.  Come downstairs and watch."

"Geezer tv?  No way!"  My friends would rib me unmercifully if they found out I had watched something as lame as Barnaby Jones!

Ignoring me, he flips the tv on, and clicks the dial to CBS.

No Jed Clampett, no Catwoman.  Two cute young guys, one in a muscle shirt that displays baseball-sized biceps, the other in skin-tight jeans that reveal an enormous bulge.  They are standing so close together that they seem about to kiss.

Muscle Shirt: You're the  man for me!

Tight Jeans: Let's not get carried away..."

"Two homosexuals?"  I exclaim. "You didn't tell me there were homosexuals on this show!"

Kenny shrugs.  "They must be the bad guys."

"Well, turn it off.  Seeing those freaks makes me sick!"

In the year or so before I figured it out, I was extremely homophobic.  Even my friends commented on it: 'What is your problem with gays?"  I thought of gay men as frilly little lacy things, fluttering about at their jobs as hairdressers and interior designers, destroying everything that was hard and warm and masculine.  Yet here were two hard-bodied, masculine gay guys.  How was that possible?

The next week I pretend to be immersed in a book in order to watch Barnaby Jones with my parents.  Tight-Jeans is Mark Shera, playing Barnaby's nephew, a law school student.  But he definitely likes girls.  

Born Mark Shapiro in 1949, a 1971 graduate of Boston University, Mark Shera got some teen idol attention for S.W.A.T. (1975-76), where he played Officer Dominic Luca.  This led to his gig on Barnaby Jones (1976-80), plus episodes of the usual 1970s and 1980s series: Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Murder She Wrote, Matt Houston. 

More after the break