Rooster, Episode 1.1: Trashy novelist at an elite college, hetero romance problems, a gay sidekick, Dunster d*ck, and the guy from "Scrubs"

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Robert Heinlein once complained that science fiction was about exploring the vastness of time and space, while mainstream fiction -- the Rabbit Runs, Appointments in Samarra, and  Complaining Portnoys of our college lit classes -- was about men who hate their jobs and their wives.  "For Heaven's sake, get new jobs, get new wives, and shut the f*k up."

I am reminded of that quote when I think of the works of Steve Carrell:  Anchorman, Dan in Real Life,  The 40 Year Old Virgin, Cafe Society,  Date Night, Dinner for Schmucks, The Morning Show, The Four Seasons, all about little men trying desperately to find meaning in jobs and wives that they hate. Coincidentally, this is precisely the "job, house, wife, kids" trajectory that I rebelled against growing up.

So I wasn't planning to watch the HBO MAX series Rooster (2026).  Then the promo showed a young man telling Steve, "nice washboard (abs)," referring to the hunk on the cover of his book.  Later he seems to become Steve's sidekick.  So Steve probably writes gay novels, and probably has a gay sidekick.  Enough potential to review Episode 1.

Scene 1:  Famous novelist Greg Russo (Steve) looks morose as he is escorted through the elegant Spanish Colonial campus of Ludlow College (actually the University of the Pacific, Stockton).  He sees a n*ked old guy, who waves -- but his escort, Eric (Myles Perez, left), doesn't see anyone.  A hallucination?

Eric tells him to wait here, then zones him out and refuses to speak anymore.  Fortunately, Professor Shepherd, who arranged his campus visit,  is just walking up. 

He's nervous -- he writes trashy beach novels, not literature: "Characters you like do bedroom stuff characters you don't like get shot in the face."  Why would elite college students want to see him?  

Scene 2: The reading, in a giant lecture hall.  The students criticize his protagonist, Rooster, for describing the Girl in food terms during their 17 bedroom acts (18, if you count the bj). Isn't that sexist?  

Russo counters that she is strong and powerful -- she rescues Rooster, remember? "But she takes off her bikini top to do it."   A jock praises that scene: "The Girl is smokin'!"  Hey, isn't he the gay sidekick?  I'm starting to suspect that I've been tricked.

Scene 3: Next Russo meets the College President (John C. McGinley, the homophobic, sexist jerk on Scrubs).  He strips to his underwear to show off his physique: "You're thinking, most college presidents are bookish shut-ins, but this guy is jacked!" He looks like the n*ked guy from earlier.  So it wasn't a hallucination, just a crazy act that would never happen on any real college campus.

They allude to a "s&x scandal" involving Katie and Archie (not mentioned before), and the President offers Russo a job as Writer-in-Residence.  "But I didn't even go to college."  "Who cares?  It's over-rated."  Academic malaise at its snarkiest. 

 McGinley's backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Scene 4:  Next stop: Another giant lecture hall, a lecture on French impressionism, Monet at Giverny.  It's Russo's daughter Katie, a professor of art history (and the s*x scandal lady).  As the students leave, she notes that her Dad doesn't like interacting with other humans, so they can get extra credit for looking him in the eye and saying "I love you very much."  A student does it!

Next Katie points out that the college has asked Russo to do a reading a billion times; why agree now?  "Admit it -- you're checking up on me, to see if I'm ok after the s*x scandal."  We finally find out what it is: her husband Archie dumped her for a grad student.  Hetero Romance Problem #1.  

She has no idea why. Everything was normal, and then she was moving into the dead hockey coach's house.   Everybody on campus knows, and keeps staring at her and asking questions.  And it's difficult to avoid running into him or his new girlfriend on a small campus.  She's about to crack.

She points them out, sitting on a park bench.  "The girlfriend isn't even hot.  She's like a regular person.  Why did he dump me for her?"  Maybe he liked her personality?

As Russo peeks through the bushes, husband Archie and the girlfriend leave, and a lesbian couple notice him.  They think he's a perv, har har.   He runs away as they film him.  

Spoiler alert: This is set up to have consequences, like Russo being arrested, or the job offer rescinded, but it is never mentioned again.

Scene 5: Russo stops at a convenience store for some water.  Tommy (Maximo Salas), the jock from earlier, praises the Rooster books. Uh-oh, he forgot his id, so Russo buys his beer for him.  If he's under 21, you're in big trouble, buddy.

More after the break

Orphans of the Sky: Gay Hints in a Curmudgeon's Science Fiction Universe

When I was growing up, I loved the juvenile science fiction novels of Robert Heinlein (1907-1988): originally published during the 1950s Cold War, they featured boys bonding in a rip-roaring cowboy future.  Plus the Ballentine paperbacks often featured beefcake.

His adult novels were unreadable, loaded down with disgusting s*x scenes, right-wing politics, and curmudgeonly grumbles about the state of the world. But in junior high and high school, I found a universe of gay hints.

My favorites, in order:

#10: Starman Jones (1953).  A muscular farmboyta longs to go to the stars.  Unfortunately, he gets a girlfriend.

#9: Stranger in a Strange Land (1961): A boy raised by Martians founds a hippie cult.  When he learns to kiss, he offers to demonstrate on his male mentor, who refuses.  But I learned that boys can kiss.

#8: Citizen of the Galaxy (1956): A rich kid is sold into slavery, but forms a buddy-bond with the guy who buys him.

#7: Time for the Stars (1956): Telepathic twins.  One stays home, goes into business, gets married, has children, the whole heterosexist trajectory.  The other goes into space for masculine adventures at near-light speed, so he stays a teenager forever.  The symbolism is obvious.

#6: Have Space Suit-Will Travel (1958): Heinlein wasn't good at envisioning social changes in his future societies.  The title is a parody of the tv series Have Gun -- Will Travel (1957-63), and the boy wins a used spacesuit in a tv jingle-writing contest.  He and a girl are captured by aliens. This edition makes her look much older, but she's only 11, and there's no hetero-romance.

#5: Starship Troopers (1959).  Rico trains to be a soldier in the war against the evil Communists -- um,  I mean aliens.  No hetero-romance.  The 1997 movie starred Casper Van Dien (top photo), Patrick Muldoon (left), and Neil Patrick Harris, and gave them girlfriends.

More after the break