Tony Dow Beefcake, Part 2: The "Leave it to Beaver" big brother flexes, swims, sculpts, and struts with his boyfriend.

Tony Dow, who played big brother Wally to the Beaver (Jerry Mathers) on the iconic nuclear family sitcom Leave It to Beaver (1957-63),  was one of the few teen idols of the period to regularly be photographed shirtless. 

 He was already an athlete, a Junior Olympics diver, when he was cast, and during the five years of Beaver, he just kept bulking up.  He never appeared shirtless on the show itself, but he gladly obliged the teen magazines.

Afterwards he continued to act and direct, appearing on episodes of Quincy ME, Knight Rider, Love Boat, Charles in Charge, and Diagnosis Murder, but mostly in the various Beaver reboots, rehashes, sequels, and parodies. 

Later in life Tony pursued his passion for art, becoming an accomplished sculptor.  He specializes in both cityscapes and the human form.  Here's The Diver in bronze.

Gay men who saw Beaver during its original run are well past retirement age now, but generation after generation are introduced to the series through constant reruns -- you can watch it today on Roku and Peacock.  And others haven't seen the show, but they enjoy the hunkiness. 

Here Tony is wearing the same swim trunks as in the top photo, but in an exterior by the pool.

More after the break

The Mighty Nein: Animated D&D game with a ragtag fellowship, a n*ked Orc, a lot of gay/bi guys, and Riker from "Star Trek"

I saw The Mighty Men on Amazon Prime, and figured that it was about "the mighty men of old" mentioned in Genesis 6:4 -- a verse that always gave me a little stirring when I was a kid sitting in Sunday school or the morning church service.  

Mighty Men -- like Hercules on Saturday morning cartoons: 

Softness in his eyes, iron in his thighs,
Virtue in his heart, fire in every part
Of the Mighty Hercules.

Could we go back to the iron in his thighs again?  

By the time I figured out that it was The Mighty Nein,  I was already invested.  

Scene 1: Some veiled beings with cow-ears gather around a giant pulsating gem, and an Orc (Graham McTavish) holding his dying wife. There's always a dead wife. 

 They kiss; she swears that they'll be together again; he grabs the ceremonial knife and kills her.

Priestess: "As the body dies, the soul lives on for eternity with the Luxon."  

The gem absorbs her soul.  Husband: "I can't wait to see who you will become."  Is she getting reincarnated or moving on to the afterlife?  Make up your mind.

Scene 2:  Priestess yells that they've been breached -- "protect the beacon (gem)!"  A cultist grabs it and runs to a vault with a statue of another husband and wife.  The beacon/gem cleverly hides the husband's crotch.  

 He hides it and closes the vault -- just in time to be eviscerated by three warriors, Astrid, Dain (Matthew Mercer), and Eadwulf (Redchild).   They grab the beacon/gem, eviscerate some more guards, conjure a shadow-being to subdue the rest, evaporate doors, jump over tall buildings, and vanish another dimension.

Scene 3: Next stop, a wooden fort in the forest.  But their horses are supposed to be ready.  What's gone wrong?   Eadwulf and Astrid investigate.  Dain stays behind with the gem/beacon.  But he makes the mistake of looking at it (haven't you read any heroic fantasy?  It will possess you!).  

Meanwhile, Eadwulf and Astrid notice that everyone in the fort is dead.  "The Kyrin are here!  It's a trap!  Run!"  Too late -- the whole dimension explodes!

Some viewers may recognize the thieves from their many, many appearances in tv series, webseries, podcasts, video games, and online Dungeons & Dragons games, but I didn't, and it's not really necessary to understand this installment of their adventures.

Opening: Cut to the opening sequence, five-minutes long (which is standard for Japanese anime):  a fort on fire; a wounded guy sinking into the water; everyone smiling; a muscle guy; the Tarot card Death; a goblin jumping over its opponents; a redhead fighting; an Elf crying; a muscular tightrope-walker; a pink bunny pulling on a female being's antlers; an old guy, probably their Gandalf (I mean Dumbledore); a group shot.  

We only get the stories of three in the first episode.  All interspliced, but I'll separate them out.

Caleb and the Goblin

Caleb (Liam O'Brien), the redhead, is being bullied by two teenagers (Yuri Lowenthal, left, Rowan Atkins Downs).  He uses his magical powers to scare them off, then tries to pick the lock of the Mystic Banshee shop.  

Uh-oh, a Goblin picks his pocket.  Caleb chases it down, but it claims that it was just trying to help: the lock is booby-trapped, and would have killed him.  "Refill my flask, and I'll show you how to break into the magic shop."

The Goblin, Nott the Brave, is actually a halfling rogue/wizard under a curse.   Presumably there will be a big reveal at some point.

 It is voiced by Sam Riegel, who looks like a lady with a beard, but is apparently a cisgender man. 

Caleb and the Goblin wait for the owner of the magic shop to lock up and go home, and break in to look for the unspecified thing that he wanted: something guarded by a scary bat-being.  Hey, Caleb uses German words.  Shouldn't they all be speaking Westron or Elvish or something?

Uh-oh, the Goblin sees a poster: Caleb is wanted for murder, with the reward 100,000 gold pieces.  Should they turn him in?  Too late -- the shop owner returns and chases them out. 

They bond, and Caleb tells his back story: he and his friends Astrid and Eadwulf (remember them?) were students at the Magic Academy (and also in a three-way bisexual romance, but that isn't mentioned here).  The evil headmaster Ikithon had indoctrinated them so severely that when he ordered them to murder their parents as a final test of loyalty, he did.  Then he felt guilty and stumbled out into the night.  

 

Beau

Beau, the guy in blue on the far right, examines the destroyed wooden fort  where the thieves who stole the gem/beacon were splattered.  His Dwarf supervisor argues that it was "the damn Kriks," a racist term for the Kyrin (the cow-eared elves who kill their partners so their souls can be absorbed).

Beau uses his psychic powers to see the three thieves being splattered.  One of them, Astrid, survived the blast, and is watching.  Plus he finds two green gems that are used to intensify magic.  "This wasn't a Kyrin attack," he exclaims.  "It was someone from the Magic Academy!"

Dwarf Supervisor thinks that this theory is ridiculous.  "The Magic Academy is in our country!  Why would you attack your own people?"

A n*de phot of Omidi Abtahi, who plays the bartender in one episode, on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.  I was looking for n*de photos of the actor who plays Beau, but it turns out that she is a female character, played by a woman. She has appeared in many D&D games, podcasts, and so on, so regular fans already know, but for new viewers it will be a Big Reveal later on.  

In some of the stories, Beau gets a girlfriend, but there's no mention of lesbian interest here.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.7: Holding hands among the yurts, and eating pizza for desserts. With a n*de Jonathan Bennett bonus

 This is the G-rated version of the Episode 2.7 review

Go to the n*de version

In the last episode, Kelvin and Keefe were ejected from the God Squad and kicked out of their house, and Eli was shot several times and crashed his car. Gulp, he's dead!

When you get tired of discussing you know what: Whew, Eli's not dead after all, but he's in a coma. Jesse/Amber and Judy/BJ hug and cry at his bedside.  Kelvin is noticeably absent.  Then the siblings go out into the parking lot and throw up multiple times. followed by the partners.   Is this a common response to grief, or did they all have bad sushi for dinner?

Ok, we're not tired of discussing you kow yet:  We cut to Keefe trapped in the God Squad's tiger cage.  There are several openings to look through, but he prefers the glory h*le, as if awaiting his next customer.  This time, Sky pushes through, hitting him in the eye!  

Sky didn't really want you-know-what, he wanted to tease Keefe, demonstrating what he couldn't have.  The God Squad guys laugh and high-five each other.  In gay communities, and actually among heterosexuals also, the person who performs is often denigrated, considered physically and socially inferior. Keefe's activity with Kelvin apparently brands him as "a bottom." 

Keefe collapses, screaming in pain, and starts to cry.  He has died and gone to hell, being punished for Kelvin's sins -- a veritable Christ figure.  Note that Keefe undergoes a symbolic death and resurrection in every season.

When the God Squad guys leave, Kelvin appears with food and toiletries.  Interestingly, Keefe calls him by the formal "Brother Kelvin."  He isn't sure that he wants a romantic relationship with this guy who lets him suffer in a tiger cage instead of saying "Game's over! Let Keefe out!" and calling security if the God Squad resists.  But Christ-Keefe doesn't even suggest release; instead, he advises Kelvin that he's as powerful as Eli, just as Jesus was as powerful as his Father.  

Beauty and the Beast:  In church, Jesse announces that Eli was gunned down while driving on Long Point Road. Trivia note: This is a real road in a suburb of Charleston.  It leads past the Seacoast Church, a megachurch that closely resembles the Salvation Center. 

Afterwards, the family is at their post-church dinner at Jason's Steakhouse, when Kelvin arrives, wearing a dark purple robe, carefully holding his glass of orange drink. 

They yell at him for not being around late;y, but he isn't ready to show himself in public yet. "I am a beast!"  Jesse quips that the robe makes him look like the beauty from Beauty and the Beast.

Next they argue over who will fill the power vacuum left by Eli's absence, until Martin has had enough: "Can't you just be kind to each other? Self-absorbed, loud, arrogant fucking a*holes."  That's about the size of it.

Kelvin agrees:"Y'all are a bunch of a-holes."  Jesse points out that he was talking about "you, too, d*ck-lips."  The term refers to lips that would be especially nice to have s*x with: a call-back to the scene earlier, and yet another reference to Kelvin being gay.  

The Return of Baby Billy: After scenes where Judy promises to become a better person and Gideon announces that he's leaving to take a stunt job, BJ and Tiffany track Baby Billy's movements from his credit card statement.  He's in Winston-Salem, spending money at Sbarro, Bojangles, Tommy Hilfinger, Aeropostale, and the Fossil Watch Store.  Trivia alert: the dates were all in mid October, 2022. This episode aired on February 13, 2022.  

Tiffany can sound out most of the words; apparently BJ has been teaching her to read.  He has become a father figure. 

In Winston-Salem, Baby Billy is recording a commercial for his new scam, a coconut-flavored health elixir that will cure every disease, even COVID.  Dude, that's false advertising, a criminal offense. On his way out of the studio, BJ, Judy, and Tiffany accost him.  First he tries to hide; then he claims that he was trying to make money to support Tiffany and their son; then he assaults BJ and runs away. 

Jesse's Plan:  After discussing the possibility of blowing up Junior's house and having a heart-to-heart with Martin, Jesse reveals to the siblings his new plan: he'll tell the congregation and the news media that Eli is recovering, and give them his hospital and room number, so the listening Cycle Ninjas will know to where to strike again.  Except Eli won't be there: Jesse will clear the hospital and lay in wait, ready to gun them down. Can you really clear an entire hospital? The siblings think that it's a crazy idea, but he talks them into it: "Let's lie to the church like a fucking family." 

Cut to the ambulances and army jeeps moving Eli to the safe house. Which happens to be his own mansion; is that wise?  Judy, Amber, and the kids join him.

More after the break

Modern Family Episode 8.14: Alex is promoted, Cam is injured, and Phil dreams of parking lots. With a dozen gay actors, two short guys, and Nathan Fillion

  

Link to the n*de photos

We've been watching Modern Family, even without Adam Devine as Andy.  Last night's episode was 8.14, "Heavy is the Head" (2017) -- a little dated, but it had a lot of gay representation and beefcake.

The Phil/Jay Plot

Scene 1:  Phil (center) and his father-in-law Jay (right) are at the groundbreaking for his lifelong dream of building his own apartment complex, Dunphy Towers. Corporate guy Jared Cook approaches with an offer to buy the property for 20% more than they paid.  Phil says no, but Jay wants to play with him for a bit and get the offer up.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Jonathan Chase's backside in Another Gay Movie (2006)

Scene 2: Foreman Pete (Robert Baker, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) found a sewer line running through Phil/Jay's property, so they can't dig the basement of the new apartment building.  Shouldn't they have checked that first?  Plus there are pockets of methane gas everywhere, bursting into flame at random moments.  The project will have to be scrapped.

Scene 3: Phil and Jay approach Jared Cook, the corporate guy who wanted to buy the property, and accept his offer.  Nope, he heard about the structural problems, and the deal is off the table. 

Scene 4: They decide to turn the space into a parking lot.  Problem solved.  Phil announces that this was his dream all along.  Really?

The Claire/Gloria Plot

Scene 1:  Claire has to be careful around her birthday, because her stepmother Gloria (who is the same age) keeps giving her dumb gifts, then complains that she doesn't appreciate them.  This year Gloria is giving her a spa day, which is ridiculous -- she hates that girly stuff.  So she claims that she's too busy.

Scene 2: Claire is the new CEO at her father's company, Pritchet's Closets and Blinds.  Her marketing manager, Ben (the incredibly cute Joe Mande), complains that the workers are going ballistic about the budget cuts.  No overtime pay?  No bagel?

"We didn't have the Christmas sales we expected."  Do people usually put closets under the tree?

"Maybe we could fire someone, like Kenny in the warehouse."

"No, I love him. He makes fun of you."

Claire holds a staff meeting and claims that she's making sacrifices, too,  like flying coach. And she's taking off her office door to indicate that she's always available.

Ulp, when she enters her office, Gloria is there, with a huge gourmet lunch. Now the staff won't believe that she's cutting corners!

Scene 3: While Ben stands guard, Claire rushes through her caviar-and-champaign lunch.  She thinks she's done, but no, Gloria has arranged for the spa to come to the office.  And Claire can't say anything, or Gloria will get hurt feelings. 

When the swishy masseur Joshua (Artie O'Daly) appears, a worker asks who he is.  "Um..he's applying for a job as a forklift operator.  There are lots of gay forklift operators." 

Joshua:  "I'm not gay!"  

Left: Artie O'Daly is gay in real life. He is currently starring in the youtube sitcom Bad Boy, with Blase Maffia III.

Scene 4: The massage, plus a manicure. Claire is starting to unclench, but assistant Ben is having more and more trouble keeping the workers out: "Your girlfriend's office smells like truffles."

"My girlfriend is your boss, and she is not my girlfriend."

More after the break

The Brothers Ferox: A bodybuilder, a swimmer, and the Joker's nemesis walk into a gladiator arena. With bonus n*de short guys

  

Link to the n*de dudes

In Episode 1.1 of Spartacus: House of Ashur, a dwarf gladiator team called Brothers Ferox (shouldn't that be Frates Ferox?)  fight Ashur's champion Logus  (Joe Davidson, right).  He yells "My c*ck stands larger threats!",  thinking that they'll be easy to defeat, but they best him, and further humiliate the House by urinating on his corpse.

We see them briefly in Episode 1.2.  The gladiator Achillea is assigned to fight them, but after she fends off an attempted rape by Creticus (Stephen Madsen) -- and slices off his private parts -- she has to fight Korris first, and is killed in the arena.  

The brothers appear in every future episode; hopefully we will see more of their fighting, and some of their lives outside of the arena. 

I'll profile each of the actors separately: Daniel Bos (center) as Balbus, Leigh Gill (right) as Satyrus, and Mikey Thompson (left) as Musicus. 

Daniel Bos, from Perth, Western Australia, has been competing in the Paralympics since he was 12 years old. In 2025 he beat two Oceanic records at the World Para-Powerlifting Championship in Egypt.

He is also a competitive bodybuilder, seen here with his competition-tan.

Spartacus: House of Ashur is Daniel's first acting gig, but he calls it "the best thing I've ever done," and is anxious for more.

The heavily inked Leigh Gill, sharing a hot tub with an equally inked buddy or boyfriend, has 27 acting credits listed on the IMDB.  He is best known as the hetero-horny actor Bobono in Game of Thrones (2018) and Gary Puddles, a clown traumatized by his gay-subtext friend's murder, in two Joker movies (2019, 2021).

N*de photo of the buddy or boyfriend on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

More after the break

David Henrie: The Wizard of Waverly Place re-wizards, but is he as gay-friendly and n*de as his costars?

Link to the n*de dudes

I thought lightning might strike twice, or rather five times. The Wizards of Waverly Place, which ran on the Disney Channel from 2007 to 2012, featured countless gay subtexts and about a dozen beefcake hunks who have gone on to a gay-positive adulthood.

Gregg Sulkin, left, displays his physique in gay magazines.

Jake T. Austin starred in the gay-friendly The Fosters.

Dan Benson runs a gay-friendly OnlyFans page, where he reviews adult products and shows his d*ck.

Selena Gomez is "mostly straight," and reveals that her character, Alex Russo, was bisexual, but the Disney censors wouldn't let them say so.

David DeLuise is a gay ally who has a n*de video online -- after the break.

So what about David Henrie, who played eldest wizard in the family, Justin Russo?

Since Wizards, he has done a lot of voice work, and had minor roles in movies: 

Lane in Paul Blart, Mall Cop

Rudy Isling -- Walt Disney's competitor -- in Walt Before Mickey.

Clean Cut Man in Cardboard Boxer, about a homeless man who is forced into cage matches.

Sebastian in This is the Year, about a teen road trip.  David also directed, and his brother Lorenzo Henrie starred.  

The Young Ronald Reagan in a 2024 biopic.  Ugh.

Six episodes of Underdeveloped, a mockumentary about inept producers.

No gay content here.

More after the break

Peter Billingsley: The lingerie lamp kid, a Beverly Hills brat, Whips, ropes, and perhaps Peter's peter

Link to the n*de dudes

Even  though a few years have passed, Peter Billingsley is still know as the kid from A Christmas Story (1983).  You know -- the bespectacled 9-year old in the 1950s, whose only Christmas wish is "a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass and this thing that tells time."  

Hardly anyone saw it in theaters in 1983, but it has become a TV tradition -- TBS usually mounts a 24-hour marathon -- so you've probably seen A Christmas Story as often as the much gayer White Christmas or It's a Wonderful Life.

I don't really care for it. There's a creepy lamp shaped like a lady's leg in lingerie (that turns Ralphie on), a nasty bully, a borderline-abusive Dad, a gun as a major plot point, and no cute guys or discernible homoerotic subplots (although some of the cast has gay connections).

And the mythos hasn't gotten better.

The top photo is Braeden LeMasters, who played Ralphie in A Christmas Story 2 (2012).  Six years later, Ralphie wants a car and the Girl of His Dreams.

I think it got worse.

In The Dirt Bike Kid (1985), a modern retelling of "Jack and the Beanstalk," the 14-year old Jack (Peter) is sent to buy groceries, but gets a magic dirtbike instead.  He uses it to clean up the corrupt town, save a struggling hot dog stand, and become a town hero. He expresses no heterosexual interest, but no same-sex interest, either.  He has a buddy (Chad Sheets), but  his main emotional bond is paternal, with Mike (Patrick Collins), the owner of the hot dog stand.

 In Russkies (1987), it's the heart of the Cold War, Danny (Joaquin Phoenix) and his friends Adam (Peter) and Jason (Stefan DeSalle) find a a Russian sailor, Mischa (Whip Hubley), washed up on the shore. Adam  is obviously entranced by the beefy, bulge-laden Mischa, especially after he takes off his shirt at the doctor's office.

But it is Danny who acts as his friend and protector.  He hatches a scheme to smuggle Mischa to Cuba, whence he could get back home.  When the baddies shoot Danny down over the water, Mischa rushes to the rescue. Later, Danny rescues Mischa.  Though the movie ends with Mischa going  home, the experience changes Danny forever; it is his Summer of '42.

An anti-gay slur (this was the 1980s, after all), but no girls thought of or spoken of.

Left: Whip's butt and back balls.

In Beverly Hills Brats (1989), Scooter (18-year old Peter) is ignored by his rich father (Martin Sheen) and bullied by his siblings, so he fakes his own kidnapping, hiring the bumbling thugs Clive (Burt Young) and Elmo (George Kirby).  The thugs are hostile at first, but soon come to feel sympathy for the lonely Scooter.  Again, an anti-gay slur, but no expressed interest in girls.  Instead, Scooter tries to reach out to the thugs for emotional support.

By this point, Peter was starting to muscle up; in fact, he later played a high school athlete abusing steroids on an Afterschool Special.  But he also started to heterosexualize up.

Here he shows some bicep in VideoZone (1989), a tv commercial series about the merchandise advertised in Full Moon productions.

He appears in 11 episodes of Sherman Oaks (1995-97), an early example of the mockumentary format, as the hetereo-horny teenage son.
 

More after the break

Jason Maybaum: Is the gay-vague son on "Raven's Home" gay in real life? With some Disney Descendants and Jake Green

 

Link to the n*de dudes

In 2021, I reviewed an episode of Raven's Home (2017-2023), the Disney channel update of That's So Raven, in which the girl with psychic powers grows up and moves in with her frenemy Chelsea, and they raise their kids together.  I didn't realize at the time that Raven Simone, an out lesbian in a same-sex marriage, refused to make Raven gay!  Disney offered, she refused!  Friggin' Uncle Tom, complicit in the heteronormative erasure of LGBT people -- including lesbians, darn it!

Chelsea's son Levi (Jason Maybaum, left, with costar Isaac Ryan Brown) is a femme boy, an aspiring actor, cast as the gay-subtext Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet.  Mom says "I'm proud of you, no matter what," which is usually what parents say to avoid saying "even if you're gay." And he never expresses any interest in girls in any episode -- I checked.  Due to Raven's insistence on heteronormative erasure, he couldn't be canonically gay, but -- and the writers -- certainly piled on the gay subtexts.  Could Jason be gay in real life?   

Jason was born on August 31, 2007, and began his acting career in commercials in 2014, when he was seven years old.

He played the son in The Perfect Stanleys (2015), about a stay-at-home mom whose life is "perfect."

A bratty kid who criticizes Ders' museum purchases in an episode of Workaholics (2016)

A commercial kid who terrorizes sports great Frank Cushman (Jerry O'Connell) in an episode of the mockumentary series The Fifth Quarter (2016). Jake Green, on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends, plays the narrator.

The son in Bi*tch (2017), about a woman who snaps and thinks she's a dog (say what?).

The bratty son of Superstore manager Glen (2017).

A student in Teachers (2017), with Ryan Caltagirone (left) as Hot Dad.

The son in Desperate Waters (2019), with Matthew Lawrence taking a male-female couple on a "three hour tour" (not really; reference to Gilligan's Island).

The son in...well, you get the idea.  A lot of sons.  Let's try some of Jason's when he was a teenager, after Raven's Home.

 

Since Raven, Jason has mostly done voiceover work: Wolfboy and the Everything Factory (2021-22), Spidey and his Amazing Friends (2022-23), Ridley Jones (2023).

Plus a lot of singing and dancing.

His only recent live-action role seems to be Cameron in Descendants 3 (2021), which the IMDB says is about competitive dancers in Los Angeles, but Wikipedia says is an animated film featuring the children and grandchildren of Disney villains: Booboo Stewart (descended from Jafar), Mitchell Hope (left, Beauty and the Beast), Dylan Playfair (Gaston --wait, wasn't he gay?)....

Jason plays Cameron, the grandson of Cruella DeVille. 

I fast-forwarded it on the Disney Channel, and couldn't actually find him, but everybody divides into boy-girl pairs for the climactic dance, so presumably he's heterosexual.

More after the break

"My Secret Santa": A reverse "Tootsie," with a ski resort, a gay couple, a shirtless hunk, Corey c*ck, Dustin's backside, and a n*de Santa Claus

 

In American offices at Christmastime, it's traditional for everyone to swap names and give anonymous presents. Thus, "Secret Santa" as title of movies in 2003, 2014, 2015, 2018, 2021, and 2025.  The most recent, My Secret Santa on Netflix, shows two guys hugging Saint Nick, so they may be a gay couple.  Probably not, or there would be headlines all over the internet, but we'll see.

Scene 1: Establishing shot of an iconic small town, with skaters around a gigantic Christmas tree. nuclear families sledding, kids playing hockey, and the Klotz Cookie Company, where the supervisor, Taylor, is checking on the production of cookies shaped like stockings, reindeer, Santa caps, and so on. She rejects one where Santa looks depressed.  A baker asks why she's being so bitchy: she's over-extended financially, in anticipation of her Christmas bonus.

Mr. Clotz calls her over and explains that due to decreased demand for store-bought cookies, he's firing her.  Just before Christmas!  Can she at least get her bonus? 

Scene 2: Home to her crappy apartment, where the landlady yells that she's been late with the rent four months in a row. This was before you were fired?  Not very financially responsible, are you?   

"Sorry, my daughter wanted a new snowboard for Christmas, and of course that took priority."  Are you supposed to be a sympathetic character? Rent before snowboards. 

Into her apartment, where daughter Zoey has just been accepted at Snooty Snowboard Academy.  Just tell her you can't afford it. It's not a degree granting institution anyway. And where's the gay couple?

Scene 3: Taylor tries to sell some of her old records to get some cash.  Record Store Guy (Cam Woodman) only offers a buck apiece, but the rich guy browsing latches on to her Screaming Kittens album -- "these guys were legends!"  They're actually all ladies, not guys.

 "They were great singers, plus incredibly gorgeous.  I was especially attracted to the lead singer, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World....wait, it's you."

Yep, Taylor is the lead singer.  I think the guy knew that, and was just trying to find subtle way to flirt.  It doesn't work, but at least the record store guy ups his offer to $150.

Rich Guy chases her out onto the sidewalk and tries some more passive-aggressive flirting.  She flirts back, but rejects his offer of a date, because otherwise be lousy story. 

Scene 4: An apartment full of movie memorabilia.  Her big brother howling in a wolf mask. "You guys are adorable," Taylor tells him before complaining that she's had two interviews, but no job yet, and she has to pay the Snooty Snowboarding School by next week. Student loans are not an option?  

Big Brother takes the hint and pulls out his wallet.  Then he sees the amount due.  Nope!  If these guys are straight roommates, I'm leaving.

Wait -- Brother's Boyfriend looks up the school, and discovers that employees get 50% off tuition for their dependents.  Usually it's free.  So Taylor just needs a job there.

Big Brother is played by William Vaughn, who may be gay in real life -- he's a comedian, so it's hard to tell.  The Boyfriend, at the bottom of the cast list, has very few lines. He may not speak at all.  He is played by Nathan Kay, who is straight in real life -- his wife wishes him a happy anniversary and says "I love you."

Left: there are no photos of Nathan Kay on his Instagram, except for a few where he's in costume to play an outrageous character of some sort, but he does post a "real photo" of Ben Powles, who plays the bully in "Dear Grandpa, it's Michael."  I don't know what that is.  

Scene 5: The Sundance Ski Lodge, where the boss is complaining that the manager ran off with "that Latvian ski instructor," and their Santa Claus quit, so they're short-handed.  His Assistant wants the manager job, but he dismisses her.  Subplot time!

While he is listing the events of the next few days, the Rich Guy from the record store appears -- his son Matthew!  Wait -- is the Sky Lodge right in town?  

Meanwhile, Taylor is at the front desk, telling Blake the Concierge (Corey Hendricks, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) that she'll do anything -- anything -- even clean toilets.  I've never understood why that is used as the worst possible job.  We have two toilets in the house, and cleaning them is no problem at all. A lot better than emptying litter boxes.

He says that they aren't hiring right now -- but just then the Assistant walks past, noting that they need someone right away, for $2,000 a month.  A job!  But it's to play Santa Claus.  Bummer!   

More after the break. 

"Christmas on Cherry Lane": A gay couple starts a family, and there's a plot twist you won't see coming

  

Link to the n*de photos

Christmas on Cherry Lane (2023) stars Vincent Rodriguez III, the muscular, bulging actor who specializes in family-friendly gay guys.  I figured I would watch in the background while doing other things on my laptop, but no, it requires you to pay attention.  There's a major plot twist.  I'm giving only the character names, not the actors' names.

There are three families on Cherry Lane on Christmas Eve

Family 1: John and Lizzie, who is due in two weeks,  just moved into the house, and are planning a quiet Christmas alone. They put up the tree and sing "Oh Come, All Ye Faithful," with a Hallmark Tree Trimmer ornament.  This will become important later.

Suddenly Lizzie's Mom and Dad arrive, and announce that they invited her brother and his family, too!  But John and Lizzie haven't even unpacked. Where will they put all those people?  

Dad Frank's d*ck is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Family 2: Regina and her friend Daisy, not shown, unpack Christmas decorations.  Her back story: she's a widow with adult children, and a boyfriend named Nelson.    

The adult kids, Winnie and Conrad, arrive in a horrible car.  Why does he keep it, now that he's making a ton of money?  Because his Uncle Ham gave it to him after Dad died. This will be important later.  

Sister Winnie doesn't have a job, except singing at open-mike nights for tips, but she'll be a famous singer one day, she says.  Mom wants her to try business school.

Mom announces that she's getting married to her Boyfriend, and she's selling the house and moving to Florida.  The adult children do not like this at all, and plot to break them up.

Family #3: Zian, left, and Mike, who works as a chef at a restaurant called Repair. They just moved into their house, too, and they're planning a Christmas Eve party tonight with twelve people.  Except contractor Quinn and his crew haven't finished remodeling the kitchen yet.  He brings them a plate of Christmas cookies, complements them on what a cute couple they are, and asks if "that famous singer" is coming to the party.  This will be important later.

Mike is freaking out.  Maybe they could move the party to the restaurant?  No, this is the first Christmas in their new house, where they're going to raise their family, so it's important to hold it here.  They walk outside and sit on lawn chairs in the cold and sing "Silent Night."  All of it.

Speaking of starting a family, the lady from the adoption agency tells them that the foster family they were placing a girl with backed out, so they're getting a child tonight -- on Christmas Eve.  With twelve people coming for a party.  Hopefully a family-friendly party.  How are they going to get a bedroom ready?

More plot complications after the break.  Spoiler alert: it's a big plot twist.

Spartacus: From Tony Curtis cruising Olivier to "House of Ashur," with gladiators, gay guys, gore, and a lot of p* enises

 

Spartacus (103-71 BCE) was a Thracian slave who escaped from a gladiator school with 70 of his followers and started the Third Servile War: 120,000 enslaved persons rebelling against the oppressive Roman Republic. 

In 1951, Howard Fast self-published Spartacus, a novel about the slave revolt, as a protest against his incarceration during the McCarthy Era witch hunts.  

The 1960 movie version starred Kirk Douglas as Spartacus.  It famously includes a scene, cut from the theatrical release but restored in 1991, where the power-hungry  senator Crassus and his slave Antonius (Sir Laurence Olivier, Tony Curtis) discuss being gay, in severely closeted terms, as the eating of oysters vs. the eating of snails: "It is all a matter of taste, is it not?" 

The 2004 movie (aired during two nights on the USA network) starred Goran Višnjić as Spartacus, and upped the participation of his wife, transforming the story into a heterosexual romance.

A Spartacus tv series, with seasons given different names (Blood and Sand, Gods of the Arena, and War of the Damned), aired on Starz between 2010 and 2013.  It starred Andy Whitfield (left), and after his death Liam McIntyre.  A lot of n*de guys, such as Mike Edwards (top photo), James Wells (left), and Manu Bennett as Crixus (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Plus there were several gay characters, including Spartacus' best friend Agron.

Assyrian slave Ashur (Nick E. Tarabay) becomes one of the series' primary antagonists when he collaborates with the Romans in their attempt to bring down the slave rebellion.  Eventually beheaded.  Shouldn't that be Asher, one of the Twelve Tribes of Israel?

The most recent Spartacus series, Spartacus: House of Asher (2025), is a sort of sequel which posits that Ashur killed Spartacus, returned to life, and now runs a gladiator school.

From a civil war to a school?  Trying to minimize political references that could get you in trouble in the fascist state?

Ashur beefcake after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.6: Yep, they have s*x. Plus Judy grows a heart, Torsten a brain, and Amber the noive

 

Link to the NSFW version.

Episode 2.6 has that controversial scene that fans are still arguing about, three seconds that have been analyzed backward and forward, frame by frame. Are they doing it or getting dressed?  But really, it's so obvious that it could become an adult videowith only a few minor changes in the actors' dirctions. It's so obvious that I can't even put a screen shot at the top photo without getting a "sensitive" tag.   But first we have some unfinished business to attend to.

The Cycle Ninjas:  We begin immediately after the Cycle Ninja attack in Episode 2.4.  Jesse and Amber grab guns and fire on them as they zoom off, grazing one.  He falls off  his motorcycle, but jumps onto his colleague's and gives them the finger.

The family, except for Kelvin, gather in Eli's drawing room to discuss the incident with the sheriff.  Judy thinks that it was a case of road rage.  Sheriff Brenda thinks that it was a botched robbery by some teenagers: professional assassins would have finished the job.  Eli is sure that Junior sent the Cycle Ninjas to kill him.  Other family members are at risk too, so he puts the compound on lockdown.

Judy complains about being stuck at home, with Tiffany living there after Baby Billy abandoned her. "She cleans everything with vinegar."  Not the time, girl.  Eli agrees: "Are you incapable of thinking of anyone but yourself?"

Out on the porch, Eli asks if Jesse has been to see Kelvin: "No. we ain't friends.  He grew up to be a nerd." 

The Second Dressing Room Scene

We cut to a full body front-and-rear shot of Kelvin, as he stands in front of the mirror in his dressing room. "Look at me," he tells Keefe, "A grotesque reflection of what I once was." Dude, you're not going to get any sympathy with that incredible body on display.

 He is distraught over the fight with his father and the loss of the God Squad; he has been de-manned by the symbolic castration. Why should he get dressed?  "I shall remain hidden, like the beast I've become."

 Keefe advises that dressing for the day "soothes the soul," and drops to his knees.  Kelvin pushes his head forward and down to begin oral actiivty.  We see and (and hear) his climax and conclusion.  Keefe swallows and says "nice." 

The scene lasts only a few seconds, and thus is easy to miss (I missed it the first time).  And it is immersed in the act of getting dressed.  Viewers are expected to be unsure whether they did it or not, thus continuing the "are they or aren't they?" speculation. 

But the "they didn't do it" theory makes no sense: 

While stepping into his Tommy Johns, Kelvin steadies himself by pushing on Keefe's head. You steady yourself on your friend's shoulders, not on his head.

Using his hands to push is painful.  Elsewhere he is shown using the palms and base of his hands without pain.  

Keefe says "nice" because...um... Go on? 

Structurally, it is a logical conclusion of the first dressing room scene.  Keefe rejects Kelvin's invitation, and then initiates it.

It makes sense for Kelvin's character. He that his injury has rendered him impotent in a society dedicated to the phallus, grotesque in a society that prizes male beauty.   What better way to demonstrate that he is still potent, still beautiful? 

It makes sense for Keefe's character.  You've just gotten a good look at the amazingly hot backside of the Man of Your Dreams, and now you are kneeling with your face three inches from his amazingly hot c*ck --aroused by your proximity.  What guy could resist going down?

Afterwards, Keefe helps Kelvin get dressed, boops his nose, and puckers up for a kiss.  Kelvin moves in, then changes his mind and abruptly turns aside.  He still resists the idea of romantic love, but he is gradually coming around.

Down in the yard, the God Squad is running a motorcycle over the tennis court and otherwise wilding.  They've even moved into the house.  Kelvin is horrified: "Our empire is crumbling."  Notice that it's now "our" empire; they are equal partners.  Keefe encourages him to prove that he is still strong, physically and mentally: "Your will is not broken, even though your thumbs are."

Judy Grows a Heart:  Judy is signing fan photos with a d*ck and "stay horny,"  while Tiffany calls the area hospitals to see if Baby Billy was  admitted.  Judy scoffs: "He abandoned you."  But Tiffany can't believe it.  Maybe he's still looking for Funyons, and will return with the car loaded-down with them. Maybe he had a stroke, and doesn't remember who he is.  What if he's dead?  

Tiffany starts to cry,  and Judy starts to feel compassion, "thinking of someone other than herself" for maybe the first time in her life. This reminds me of the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz: "If I only had a heart."

Amber Grows Courageous.  Next the Cowardly Lion: "If I only had the noive." At the marital support group, Amber brags about how she chased off the Cycle Ninjas and shot one from 50 yards away.  The women cheer.  Jesse, feeling threatened, argues that they were both shooting, and it's unclear who actually "grazed " the Ninja,  The women aren't having it.  Amber luxuriates in the cheers, feeling for the first time that she's her own person, not just an extension of her partner. 

 Later, Jesse's crew tries to console him for being de-manned by his wife. They suggest some buddy-bonding over craft beers, but he refuses.  He's too upset about "the whole church sucking my wife's dick." Another call-back to Kelvin's blow job.

Holding hands in front of the God Squad: In the gym, Kelvin addresses the God Squad's concerns that his broken thumbs make him an inappropriate leader.  He proves his strength by offering them  "Strawberry Shortcake Bahama Bro Smoothies."  and suggests that they join hands to pray about it. 

Keefe reaches over to take Kelvin's hand, but look at his procedure.  He moves in to position near Kelvin's elbow, brings both of their arms together, and moves down.  He is, in effect, caressing Kelvin's arm, a more romantic gesture than a platonic hand-holding. Kelvin pushes him away: "I didn't mean me."  Because touching his broken thumb is painful, or because holding hands is painful?

The God Squad wonders how he can lead them on missions when he can't even lift a smoothie.  He tries, but spills it all over!  The guys laugh and make rude gestures. Keefe tries to comfort him with a hug, but Kelvin brushes him away.

Finally, Torsten -- the scarecrow, "if I only had a brain" -- figures out that he, and other God Squad members, are twice the size of Kelvin.  He should be leader: "Kelvin, I challenge you!"

"But Torsten, you're my gentle giant," Kelvin protests.  Another favorite?  Have they been in the steam showers together? 

They all rush out for the cross-bearing challenge. 

More after the break