Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Greg's Last Straw. Cartoon mayhem with a few gay hints, at least one gay actor, and a pleasant absence of The Girl.

 Diary of a Wimpy Kid, with the illustrated adventures of self-centered, accident-prone middle-schooler Greg Heffner, began as a web series in 2004.  It spun into a series of chapter books, 20 to date,  plus seven movies and a stage musical.  While author Jeff Kinney is a gay ally, he has kept LGBT characters and most of the gay subtexts out of Greg's life, instead making his buddy Rowley too weird for romance, and giving them both regular crushes on girls.  

The movies are a mixed bag of gay-subtext, heterosexism, and downright homophobia: Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010) doesn't give the guys girlfriends, but moves into gay panic when Greg and Rowley (Zachary Gordon, left, Robert Capon)  accidentally touch hands and spring away in disgust: "I touched a dude!  That means I'm...ugh!" 

Rodrick Rules (2011) features Greg's attempt to win the Girl of His Dreams, but his brother Rodrick (gay actor Devon Bostick) has no interest in girls.

But in Dog Days (2012), both Greg and Rodrick pursue the Girls of Their Dreams. 

So I'm approaching the latest animated film, Last Straw (2025) on Disney Plus, with some concern. But I'm reviewing it just in case (besides, it's been sitting in my "to review" file since early December).

Scene 1: Unreliable narrator Greg (Aaron Harris)  discusses his problem: Dad (Chris Diamantopoulous) likes everything to be organized, and Greg likes to "go with the flow." On Christmas morning, he takes his time in the shower, making the family late for church.  As they are waiting, in the car Mom and Dad discuss Greg's woeful lack of life skills.  He can't even use the house key to lock the door.  Rodney, however, is fully competent.

Left: Now Rodney is played by gay actor Hunter Dillon.  I wonder if it's significant that they keep casting gay guys to play Rodney, even though nothing can be stated in the movies.

Scene 2: The church has some nondescript stained glass windows and a lot of Christmas trees, but no crosses anywhere.  The priest mentions the Wise Men but not Jesus. There are medallion of a horned stag and a rabbit, and a giant statue of a female angel behind the altar. What religion are these people, Manichean?  (In the novel, it's a regular Christian church, at Easter).

Uh-oh, Greg sat on chocolate in the car.  He tries to keep covered, but everyone can see, and thinks that he pooped his pants.

Scene 3: After the chocolate disaster, Dad worries that he hasn't taught Greg the things he needs to know to become a man. Sounds like you have some old-fashioned ideas about masculinity, buddy. Mom says not to worry, Greg is fine: he and his friend Rowley are starting a snow removal company.  Capitalism solves everything.

Scene 4: It's Beefcake Snow Removal, with a drawing of the Greg and Rowley as muscular, shirtless grown-ups: "pamper yourself with our service."  

Their first customer expected two grown-up hunks to shovel with their shirts off (so he's gay?), and angrily rejects the two kids.  As do others on the block.   When they finally find an old lady willing to hire them, they don't have snow shovels.Plan ahead?  Rowley scrams, and Greg tries to use a lawn mower, with slapstick mayhem results.

More after the break

Justin Ellings: Kyle from the awful clown episode of "Modern Family" plays Corey Haim and Sean Giambrone, shows his physique and his d*ck

 

Link to the n*de photos

In Modern Family Episode 11.1 (2019), high school vice principal Cam invites a group of "wayward teens" to his house to gain their trust by being the "cool mentor."  Things go wrong when his beloved, awful clown figurine goes missing, and he accuses them of stealing it, horrifying the viewers and his husband Mitchell with his increasingly vituperative insults: "You're trash! You're garbage!  Everyone has given up on you!"   Finally Mitchell can't stand it anymore, and announces that they are innocent: he threw out the figurine because it was incredibly ugly.  

Then Cam comes clean -- the kids are actually the high school drama club, playing wayward teens to force Mitchell to confess.  

I'm not happy with the plotline.  Seeing Cam lash out was rough.  And why would  you destroy something that your husband valued?  Something that was on prominent display in the living room?  But it was worth it to see  drama club member Kyle, played by Justin Ellings.

19 years old when he filmed the episode.

A Short Guy, 5'6"  Forget the five feet; tell me more about the six inches. 

Endless beefcake photos on his Instagram and Facebook pages. 

Interestingly, Justin's official website shows a map of his location (so you can stalk him?).  He's on Cahuenga just north of Lexington, near my old gym in West Hollywood.  Cue the nostalgic reminiscences of my years in the gay mecca.

Justin grew up in Milwaukee, where he starred in The Music Man (2011) and The Sound of Music (2012) at the Skylight Opera Theatre Center.  He graduated from Arrowhead High School at age 16, then moved to L.A. to pursue his acting career.

His first major acting role was on the Nickelodeon teencom Sam & Cat (2013): he played Jarvis, one of the kids that the former ICarly star and her girlfriend babysit.  According to the fan wiki, Jarvis is gay.

I doubt that a Nickelodeon show would have a canonical gay character, but even if it was subtext, it's a great beginning.  Unfortunately, Justin's characters in other tv programs, on Girl Meets World (2015). Game Shakers (2017), American Housewife (2018), and Wandavision (2021), don't appear in the plot synopses. 

.

Justin is primarily interested in stunt work.  He has 33 stunting credits listed on the IMDB, including episodes of The Middle, Young Sheldon, 13 Reasons Why (where he was presumably Miles Heizer's b*tt double), 9-1-1, Stranger Things, and The Fabelmans.

 He was Sean Giambrone's stunt double on 19 episodes of The Goldbergs.

More after the break. 

Gemstones Episode 1.3: Kelvin outs himself, Baby Billy get n*de, and Scotty shoves his wiener into Gideon's face

 

 Link to the n*de photos

In Episode 2, we saw problems in the developing Kelvin/Keefe and Judy/BJ relationships: Kelvin is too hesitant, and BJ too eager.  But the main takeaway was Gideon: Jesse's estranged son is one of the blackmailers!  Episode 3 will develop the Gideon/Scotty plot arc further, postponing Kelvin/Keefe to their centric episode, "Wicked Lips."  But first we need Kelvin to out himself a few times.

Title: "They are weak, but He is strong."  From "Jesus Loves Me," a hymn by Anna Bartlett Warner published in 1862, but based on 2 Corinthians 12:10, NIV: "When I am weak, then I am strong."  You can't get much weaker than these guys.

Baby Billy is n*de:  The childhood home of Eli's late wife, famous Gospel singer Aimee-Leigh. A poster advertises the "Sing for Joy" concert tour, featuring the Freeman's Gap duo, Aimee-Leigh and Baby Billy.  Two children on the cover of a single album, "Misbehavin'."  They must have been a brother-sister act as children, before Aimee-Leigh became a serious gospel singer.  A young woman yells that Baby Billy's hot milk is ready; she brings it to him as he bathes outside.

We see the back of his head -- now white-haired -- as he describes the satellite church his brother-in-law Eli is giving him -- "in the middle of everything -- fun chain restaurants, name-brand clothing stores."  We see his face -- fans of Danny McBride's work will recognize him as Walton Goggins of Vice Principals in old-age makeup. 

He stands -- he's huge!

Although Walton Goggins has been n*de on camera before, in this case they hired a stunt cock belonging to an unidentified 80-year old man from town.

Trivia note: Baby Billy is actually 66 or 67 in this scene, and Walton Goggins is 51.  

Baby Billy promises Tiffany, his new wife -- Number Four, plus a number of boyfriends -- a world of "riches and glamour" with the Gemstones. 

Eyes on the Prize: Gideon meditates on the Tao te Ching as the family prepares for church: "Eyes on the prize. To the still mind, the entire universe surrenders."   He's actually quoting the Tao te Ching wrong.

On the way to the Salvation Center, his brothers ask about the celebrities he met in Hollywood.  Well Vin Diesel (left). Jesse tries to one-up him by claiming to have met Telly Savalas, star of Kojak (1973-78). Jesse was not born until 1981, so he couldn't have watched in real time.

The Satellite Church: Judy, BJ, and Kelvin are scoping out the dying shopping mall where they opened the satellite church: "All around America, capitalism is dying," Kelvin points out. "That's when we step in."  He will never display this insightful knowledge of economics, or anything other than muscles, again.  

Queer code: First Kelvin does a little femme flutter and hand-on-waist.  Then a hot girl walks past: an opportunity for him to demonstrate that he is heterosexual with a double-take?  No,he  looks the other way. 

Baby Billy is greeting the congregants in front of gigantic photos of himself and Kelvin.  Why Kelvin, in particular?  Maybe to indicate that they're both outsiders, struggling to be taken seriously by the family.  Or because they both have huge cocks.

As Baby Billy begins the service, the siblings watch from offstage.  Gideon tunes up his guitar.  Judy comments that he's "looking tasty. Staying in shape." Kelvin agrees; "He is. That's showbiz, right?  You to to keep a tight physique."  You just outed yourself to your sister, Kelv Baby.

Jesse disagrees: lots of people who work behind the scenes are "fat as fuck,."  But, Kelvin insists, if you want to be a star, you have to be a "specimen...a straight unit." According to the Urban Dictionary, a "straight unit" is a guy who is tall, strong, muscular, and well-hung. How much farther out can Kelvin get?

Afterwards the siblings meet Tiffany.  They disapprove of her countrified lack of refinement, her teeth, and her insistence that they call her Aunt Tiffany, even though she is younger than 

My Wiener in Your Face:  That night, while Jesse and Amber discuss whether Gideon is Saul or Paul (before or after finding Jesus), Gideon answers the question for us: he goes through his parents' stuff, looking up the value of things he could steal and sell, now that the blackmail plot has fallen through.  Their nightstand, for instance, cost $2700.

Meanwhile, at the campground where Scotty is staying, he stumbles out of the van and urinates in front of everyone. A guy protests "Don't nobody want to see that penis!" Scotty counters: "Then quit lookin' at it."  A reference to Scotty liking guys to appreciate his penis?

Gideon brings him the list of stuff to steal, but Scottyy tears it up: he doesn't want furniture and jewelry, he wants money. He begins to erupt, but Gideon assures him: "I can get it, but my parents don't trust me yet. Be patient."

To demonstrate how unhinged he is, Scotty puts a cigarette out on his tongue and waves a wiener on a wire in front of Gideon's face. This is, of course, a symbolic threat of sexual assault.

Jesse Discovers Who Did It: Kelvin is singing to his siblings and the crew: Jesse  notes that "Music has always calmed my vicious temper."  Gregory wants to give them all coins to memorialze their bond, but they point out that "We did it!" sounds like a confession of guilt.  I still don't understand what Kelvin did.

Next, Jesse annoucnes that he has discovered the identity of the third blackmailer; slender frame walks with a swagger, used to being on stage, and very close to him. Sounds like Gideon, right? 

Nope, it's Levi (lead guitarist in the Gemstone rock band).  Jesse threatens him with a knife. Kelvin is horrified, but Judy loves it: "Put it in his bottom!", another assault.   Why doesn't Kelvin intervene?  He seems to have trouble speaking ip when he sees his siblings doing something awful.  

Jesse finally decides that Levi is innocent and "forgives" him.   He runs out, yelling: "That's too far.  You play too much."  .One expects him to break up with Jesse and the crew, but he sticks around as if nothing life-threatening has happened.

I feel bad about pretending that "wiener" meant p*nis instead of "hot dog" to drive up pageviews, so RG Beefcake and Boyfriends has some real wieners.

More after the break

In Bed with Mason Cook

In Speechless, the sitcom about a nonverbal special needs kid and his crazy family, gay people generally do not exist.  I guess you can have only one Special Thing per series.  The only reference to LGBT identities I have seen is, admittedly, a good one:

In a Halloween episode, operator-in-training Ray (Mason Cook) and his sarcastic younger sister Dylan (Kyla Kenedy) change bodies.

Ray in Dylan's body experiences not a hint of macho panic  ("Gross!  I'm a girl!), nor does he spend his time heterosexualizing ("I can see all the boobs I want).  Instead, he enjoys being brainy and popular, and refuses to switch back.

Dylan in Ray's body doesn't enjoy being considered stupid and an outcast, so she seeks advice from their father:  "What do you do when you're trapped in the wrong body?"

Dad, naturally, assumes that "Ray" is coming out as transgender.  "I don't know enough about this to comment," he says, "But your mother and I will always love you no matter..."

Later he tells his wife "I think I'm woke."

The juxtaposition of the old fashioned "trapped in the wrong body" and the contemporary "woke" is jarring, but otherwise the sequence perfectly avoids all of the homophobic and heterosexist jokes one usually finds in "boy turns into a girl" stories.

Naturally, I wanted to know more about Mason Cook, who plays Ray.

18 years old, born in Oklahoma City although he says he's from Arkansas, acting since age 9.    He played the young Jimmy on Raising Hope and Eddie Munster in the Munsters reboot Mockingbird Lane,  guested on a lot of Disney and Nickelodeon teencoms, and had recurring roles on Legends and The Goldbergs.  His movie credits include Spy Kids 4, The Lone Ranger, Spy, and some tv-movie tearjerkers. 

More after the break

Quite a full resume for someone of his age.

Extremely progressive in his politics, anxious to take back the country from the alt-right.

Quick to call out homophobia.  Didn't go to see The Ender's Game because the author of the original novel, Orson Scott Card, hates gay people.

In this picture, he is in bed.  But it doesn't look like  a selfie -- the arms are positioned wrong. Someone else took it.

I wonder who was in bed with Mason Cook?

See also: Speechless, Season 2

Mason Cook: The "Speechless" star grows up, turns bohemian-hipster, and shows his biceps and d*ck

Shayne Topp: Nickelodeon teen, Barry's buddy, bodybuilder, sketch comedian who pretends to be gay and have a massive d*ck. We'll see.

Daryl Sabara: Juni grows up, fights cannibals, bikers, and Satanists, and shows his d*ck

Starfleet Academy: Finally we get to see the fabled space school. But will they explore strange new worlds, or will it be "who's dating who"?

 One of the iconic moments of my childhood was seeing a shirtless Sulu (George Takei) sword-playing his way across the Enterprise while high on alien water on Star Trek (Episode 1.4, "The Naked Time"). I was a big fan of the original series, and occasionally watched The Next Generation, Voyager, and Deep Space Nine: Exploring "strange new worlds" was so intriguing that you could easily ignore the crewmen kissing different alien babes every week, and forgive the utter absence of LGBT persons. 

Sooner or later, viewers were told that every crew member -- without exception -- "graduated at the top of your class at Starfleet Academy."  Apparently the classes were very, very small, and they had ten graduations per year.  

We don't learn much more about the Academy: you have to take a class in "Ancient Mythology and Religion"; they teach the Kobayashi Maru no-win test (save your own ship or a ship full of civilians?); and the entrance exam is staggeringly difficult. Even future space-time voyager Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton, left) and Greatest Captain of All Time Contender Jean-Luc Picard failed on their first try.

So I was excited when I heard that that Paramount Plus would be airing a new tv series, Starfleet Academy.  

The premise: Around 3069, 800 years after the original series, dilithium crystals across the galaxy failed.  That means no faster-than -light travel: everyone was stuck in their solar systems, and Star Fleet (and the United Federation of Planets) collapsed. Now it's around 3300, the crystals have been restored, Star Fleet has returned, and the first class of cadets arrive at Starfleet Academy.  

Maybe we'll see some of those incredibly difficult classes.  There'll be some new species as well as old favorites like Klingons and Romulans, and...

Uh-oh, it looks like we're going to get a major dose of boy-girl romance, and once again the utter absence of LGBT characters. The promo shows three boy-girl couples.

Sam is a Kasquian, a new species: a sort of sentient hologram, only a few weeks old but created as a young adult.  She has to deal with anti-hologram prejudice. The trailer shows her being effervescent and on a date with:

Jay-Den Kraag, a Klingon who wants to become a medical officer. There were evil Klingon villains on Star Trek from the beginning, and allies beginning with Whorf on The Next Generation.

 Jay-Den is played by Karim Diané, who has a femme look here, but is actually straight, bringing the Love of His Life on a vacation to Tulum.

Tarima Sandal, is a Betazoid, the daughter of the president of her planet, who wants to become a starship captain (don't they all).  We've had telepathic Betazoids since Deanna Troi of The Next Generation.

The trailer shows her falling in love with, kissing, on a date with, on a battlefield with, kissing, and kissing:

Caleb Mir: a human outcast/outsider/rebel who hates Starfleet, but the Chancellor promised that if he joined, she would help him find his missing mother.  Why does she care so much?  That appears to be the main mystery of the season.

More after the break

Tyler Alvarez: The "Witch Way" chuy and "American Vandal" p*nis investigator is gay, but wild about girls. With n*de Hispanic dudes.

  

In Ghosts Episode 2.20 (2023), the attic ghost Stephanie, a teenager murdered on her prom night in 1987, learns that her crush Trevor (Asher Grodman) is dating someone else (he's not interested anyway, since she's 17, and he died at age 33).   The irate Stephanie schemes to break up all of the "happy couples" at Woodstone. This doesn't work, of course, and basement ghost Nancy saves the day by introducing her to teenage cholera victim Ralph (Tyler Alvarez).

Wow, cute face and an insouciant tease of a muscular chest. He's getting a closer look.

Tyler was born in 1997 in the Bronx.  His first major screen role was in the Nickelodeon telenovela Every Witch Way (2014-15).  Focus character Emma discovers that she is a witch (and the Chosen One, naturally).  She has various teen angst and Harry Potter-style adventures, and is torn between two boys: the rebellious, "arrogant" wizard Jax (Rahart Adams) and the responsible but human Daniel (Nick Merico)

Tyler plays Diego, a chuy (magical being who can control the Four Elements).  He has an on-off girlfriend, but he also has a gay-subtext buddy-bond with Mac (Mavrick Moreno), at least before the showrunners noticed and wrote him out of the story.

Not a bad start.

Next came The Fosters, about a family of foster and adopted children.  In Season 5 (2018), he played Declan Rivers, an online gamer who starts flirting with Jude (Hayden Byerly), causing tension with his boyfriend Noah (Kalama Epstein).  

American Vandal (2017-18) sounds like it's about the Vandals motorcycle gang, but actually some high school vandals painted p*nises on 27 teachers' cars.  Journalists Peter (Tyler) and Sam (Griffin Gluck) investigate the crime.

I figured that they must have a gay-subtext buddy bond, but according to Reddit, there is an animosity between them, and one turns out to be the culprit.

More after the break

Valin Shinyei: Billy Elliot's gay friend, a gay monster hunter, a straight ballet dancer, and a Lego boy who cooks. With Valin/Vladimir d*cks

Billy Elliot (2000) encourages homophobic parents to relax: boys who like dance are absolutely, positively, 100% not-gay, although they might have gay friends.  I heard that the musical gave the gay character a less "endless angst and misery" plot arc, as demonstrated by a production by the Vancouver Arts Club in 2016, with Valin Shinyei as Billy's gay friend.  

Interesting name, even more interesting underwear photos, doubtless gay in real life, and there's something in his bio about the Paralympics -- I always like to promote disabled representation.  He's definitely getting a profile.  

Vallin Shinyei (the name is Sanskrit and Japanese) was born in Vancouver in 2001 to an artist dad, a choreographer mom, and an actress sister.  He was home schooled through eighth grade while studying dance at the Peggy Pearl School.  Then he enrolled at the Thomas Haney Secondary School, graduating in 2019.

Valin began doing commercials and modeling in 2006, and moved into television in 2009, playing a Little Boy in an episode of Smallville and one of the kids being nanny-ified by Mrs. Miracle. 

Plus he began dancing nightly s at the Pacific Exhibition ("British Columbia's choice for diverse events and experiences.". 

At the 2010 Paralympic Games, Valin passed the torch to the Russians at the closing ceremony.

He also hosted the ceremony commemorating Rick Hansen's 25th Anniversary Tour:  In 1987, Rick completed his Man in Motion Tour, traveling around the world in a wheelchair to raise awareness spinal cord injuries. In 1987, he repeated the tour, traveling across Canada.

Valin does not personally have a disability.  I don't know what his connection to the disabled community is.

He broke into film with A Christmas Miracle (2012), about eight strangers stranded  in an abandoned church, who...well you can figure it out.  Star Dan Payne played a gay guy (and showed off his backside) in Mulligans (2008).  Valin won a Young Artists Award for his role as a boy lost in the woods.

Continuing the Christmas theme, Valin starred in A Christmas Story 2 (2012), a straight-to-video sequel to the 1983 movie, with the 16 year old Ralphie (Braedon Lemasters) wanting a car and the Girl of His Dreams rather than a rifle. Valin plays his piggish younger brother.  It got horrible reviews, but three years later (2015), Valin was playing Ralphie in A Christmas Story at the Vancouver Arts Club.

In 2016, he began as the understudy for Billy (Nolan Fahey) in the musical Billy Elliot.  Then he took over as Billy's gay friend Michael, who has a crush on him.  Billy isn't into guys, but he does agree to a drag number, "Expressing Yourself," and he kisses Michael on the cheek. That's better than endless angst and misery, I guess.

More after the break

Craig Hundley: Angel-Headed Hipster plays with the Big Boys

In the Star Trek episode "And the Children Shall Lead" (1967), which Leonard Nimoy rates as the worst of the original series, an alien "angel"  brainwashes a group of children into taking control of the Enterprise.  

Craig  Hundley is the lanky redhead in the weird striped smock -- about a foot taller than the others, way too old to play their "chasing each other" game, looking heavily embarrassed.

No wonder -- the others were between 7 and 10 years old, and Craig was 13.

In case you were wondering, they were; Pamela Ferdin, the first voice of Lucy in Peanuts movies.

Cesar Belli, son of Melvin Belli (the alien)

Brian Tochi, who went on to Revenge of the Nerds and the Police Academy movies.

Mark Don Brown

Brian Tochi

Melvin Caesar Belli

Here he takes over the bridge.  I was sure that Chekhov and Sulu (Walter Koenig, George Takei) were boyfriends.

Craig recently reunited with George at the L.A. Opera, and thanked him for "being an advocate for so many important causes."  The word is "gay," buddy.

More after the break

Björn Mosten: His "Love and Anarchy" n*de hugeness made him a star, but he's also played a gay boarding school bully and Oddgeir's buddy.

  

Link to the n*de photos

In the Swedish comedy Kärlek och anarki (Love and Anarchy, 2020-22), middle aged publishing house consultant Sofia (Ida Engvoll) and young IT guy Max (Björn Mosten) fight a "dare war,"  trying to one-up each other with increasingly drastic dares:

Dress like pop singer Cyndi Lauper.

Walk backwards for a day.

Get too drunk

Mimic people

Walk into a restaurant and pretend that you work there.

Dribble

Do everything as fast as you can

And:  Get n*de in front of your family.

Uncensored on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.  Hint: Our buy is huge.

Frontside and back.

This was the 23-year old actor's only n*de scene in the series (he takes off his shirt a few times), but it was enough to seal his popularity among gay men in Sweden and abroad.

His cuteness and his acting ability too, of course.

The cover story of Kupe tells us that he is "An Overnight Star."  

Björn wasn't planning to become a star.  He was a small town boy, from Dvärsätt in central Sweden (the nearest big city is Trondheim, Norway, three hours away).  In the summer of 2019, he was just finishing up his degree in engineering at Uppsala University, and enrolled in the master's program in Computer and Information Engineering.  Lisa Langseth was casting an IT guy for her new comedy drama.  He had done some modeling, so why not audition?

After Love and Anarchy, Bjorn starred in the theatrical play Jakten (2022), at the Stockholms Stadsteaterat.  

It means "The Hunt," as in "Witch Hunt": a grade school teacher (Henrik Norlén) is falsely accused of assaulting a child in his class.  Bjorn plays Marcus, his teenage son.

Next came the tv series Ondskan ("Evil," 2023): Erik (Isac Calmroth) is expelled from public school due to being a violent thug, enrolls in an exclusive private school, becomes a bullying victim, and commences an affair with the lunch lady. 

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.2: Thai ladyboys, Italian shoes, Palestinian guys, a rattlesnake, and the Devil's Kiss

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Episode 1.2 continues the plot arc of Jesse confronting the blackmailers who have a video of his s*x-and-drugs party. 

 

Title: "Is this the man who made the Earth tremble?" From Isaiah 14.15: Everyone is amazed at the fall of the King of Babylon. Here we're looking at the fall of Eli Gemstone.

The Ladyboys of Thailand:  The red van in the deserted parking lot.  The head blackmailer, Scotty, wearing a scary devil mask, is talking with his companions, a woman named Lucy and an unidentified man.  He dismisses the  misconception that Thailand is all about ladyboys "hanging out of windows with their cocks in their panties." But: Thailand also has great food, great beaches, "and we're going to be taller than everyone else." 

The ladyboys or kathoey of Thailand have male-coded physical characteristics but present as feminine.  They were traditionally called a third gender, but with the globalization of Western LGBT identities, they are more likely today to identify as femme gay men or trans women.  Scotty's statement suggests that he is into ladyboys, but his companions are not, so he is trying to convince them that Thailand has other attractions, too.

The siblings arrive and drop the bags of money in front of the van.  Scotty gets out to pick it up and -- Jesse attacks!  Lucy, wearing a scary baby mask, shoots at them.  They jump back into their car and run over Scotty, and then Lucy, when she rushes to his aid. The third blackmailer takes off his mask: it's a young man played by Skyler Gisondo.  

The Young Man yells "Scotty!" and runs up and cuddles him like a lover!  They are obviously boyfriends.He helps Scotty up, and they carry Lucy to the van and drive away. 

Scotty thinks that Lucy is dead, so they try to throw the corpse down a hill.  But she's alive!

Did it really happen?:  The next day, the siblings return to the parking lot.  There is no evidence of the blackmailers.  Jesse suggests that it was never real to begin with, and Judy, "a spiritual test that we had to overcome."  Kelvin thinks it was real, but the others criticize him for "projecting negativity."  

The next order of business: how should they divvy up the money Judy stole from the church: give it all back (Kelvin) or give half back and split the rest (Jesse). Why do these people need money?  Aren't they, like, rich? Maybe Daddy controls everything, and gives them an allowance.

Suddenly Kelvin jumps out of the car.  Jesse scoffs that he wants to buy a new pair of 22s, custom shoes hand-crafted by Gabe Apodaca in Italy, keying into his gay-coded fashion obsession.  But he's actually noticed a security camera: they could get the van's license plate number.

Lucy has what Scotty needs: At the hospital, Scotty and the Young Man discuss what to tell Lucy about the hill  She's "all f*ked up," but Scotty  wants to do stuff with her.  He waits for the Young Man to offer to do stuff instead, but he doesn't.

Psych!  Scotty isn't planning that after all: he puts her in a wheelchair, and exclaims "We're getting out of here.!"  (Backside shot: his hospital gown is open in the back) Why did Scotty tell the Young Man that he wanted to get with Lucy?  Apparently to make him jealous, but of who?  Lucy, Scotty, or both?

"Did you just blow a kiss at me?": Cut to Jesse discovering that his wife and kids are still in contact with the runaway Gideon.  They even have good news: he just got cast in a Netflix movie; "he's doing well in LA, following his dreams."  Pontius repeats "Hollywood" in a sultry voice, then blows Jesse a kiss, teasing that Gideon is gay.  

Jesse wants to know how they dare to contact him when he "snipped our nuts." Why is moving to California like snipping your father?  

The New Threat: Scotty, Lucy, and the Young Man are eating Chinese food at a cheap hotel.  But wasn't she on life support? The hard drive containing the video is ruined, and they don't have a backup. The blackmail plot has failed. Scotty and Lucy blame each other. 

We cut to Jesse forcing his crew to go into the Rimtyme, a real Charleston-area store that sells custom tires and rims, to get the security cam footage.  But the manager doesn't believe their made-up story, and they return empty-handed.  

They return, knock over tire displays, assault the manager, and steal the security machine.  

 We return to Gideon filming Scotty as he issues a new threat: "You can't kill the devil, son!" The blackmail price is now $2,000,000.  The others complain that he doesn't sound realistic.

The Young Man  and Lucy go out to smoke a cigarette and have a heart-to-heart. "This whole thing was my  idea," he announces. "Scotty may act like the leader, but he wouldn't have anything if it weren't for me."  So, he's the dominant one in the triad?  

 Lucy wants to know if they threw her down the hill.  He denies it, but she tells him that he is not  the leader at all, he's sexually and socially dependent on Scotty.  

Matthew Touches Kelvin: Cut to church. Eli is preaching on what happens when you try to do things yourself, instead of relying on God: you fall prey to the snakes of the world.  This will become important later.  They may be disguised as a caring neighbor or trusted friend, but if you let them in, they will destroy you. 

Jesse and Judy, sitting in the congregation with their partners, excuse themselves and rush upstairs, where they meet with Kelvin and Jesse's crew.  We do not see Kelvin in the congregation.  Why not?  So he won't be shown sitting with Keefe, thus identifying them as partners in a parallel to Jesse/Amber and Judy/BJ?  

The security footage reveals that there are three blackmailers, and they drive a red van.  Kelvin suggest tracking them down with traffic cams.  Jesse likes this idea, and congratulates his "baby bro-bro."  Matthew gives him a bro-butt slap, but Kelvin recoils: "Don't touch me."  You don't like guys touching you, Kelv Baby?  What are you, straight?  Or is something else going on?

So, where will we get that traffic cam footage? "I know someone who can help."

Kelvin touches Keefe:  To find out who is blackmailing Jesse, Kelvin leads the siblings to the DMV, where Keefe works. He can use traffic cams to locate their vehicle.  "I could lose my job for this," he says, "But I'd do anything for you."  Kelvin touches his arm, and Keefe touches the place he touched.  This is where Tony Cavalero states that Keefe begins to fall in love.  In the last episode, you weren't sure about moving from friendship to romance with Kelvin.  Now you're ready to go? 

They clasp hands, and Kelvin gives him that "I'm desperate to kiss you" look.

The Devil's Kiss:  The Young Man is exercising in the hotel room when Scotty bursts in, ready to attack him because the backup video is broken.  Lucy calls him out and admits to destroying it. Furthemore, she's leaving him because of the throwing-her-down-the-hill thing.  I'm tired of keeping up the mystery; it's super-obvious by this point anyhow: The Young Man is Jesse's son Gideon.

Scotty tells Lucy that it was going to be "just you and me" in Thailand, but earlier he said all three of them.  He seems to have a dominant-submissive relationship with both, and is playing them off each other, telling Lucy "you can easily be replaced" and Gideon, "I might make you my favorite."  Now his dominance is challenged.  He returns to the hotel room and yells at Gideon for telling Lucy about the hill.  "Why'd you tell her?  You like her? You think she likes you?"  His two subs certainly can't be interested in each other!

To restore his dominance, Scotty attacks.  Gideon doesn't want to hurt him, but defends himself with both boxing and martial arts.  He promises to get the money some other way.  

Scotty starts to strangle him, says "If you don't, I will kill you," and covers Gideon's nose with his mouth, signifying raw erotic power and absolute control.  

Bonus n*de Palestinian guys on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

More after the break

Shock Treatment: Romance is Not a Children's Game

In the spring of 1982, I went to a midnight showing of Shock Treatment, which was widely advertised as "the sequel to The Rocky Horror Picture Show!"  

Actually, I saw it five times, because in the days before video rentals, DVDs, and streaming services, once a movie left the theater, it was gone for good.

It starred Brad and Janet from the original movie, played by different actors (Cliff de Young, Jessica Harper): Barry Bostwick was unavailable, and Susan Sarandon wanted too much money.

Cliff DeYoung (top photo) had been the lead singer of the 1960s band Clear Light, and the star of Sunshine (1973), about a struggling musician with a dying wife. Ugh!  But his signature song, "My Sweet Lady," charted at #14.  He also appeared in Hair on Broadway, and went on to over 80 tv and movie appearances, including Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, The X-Files, Get a Clue, and Diagnosis: Murder. 

Jessica Harper had toured in Hair with Cliff, and starred in Phantom of the Paradise, Love and Death, and Suspira.  She would go on to over 50 movie and tv roles, seven albums, and eleven children's books.

No other characters from Rocky Horror, no references to Rocky Horror, no sweet transvestites, no gay relationships, no references to gay people except for a racist/homophobic anecdote!

But once you get over your initial disappointment, Shock Treatment presents an interesting conceit: the world is a tv studio, and everyone a player (shades of Shakespeare).  Everyone is under surveillance, everyone is acting in a show within a show within a show.  There are no private moments; everyone is always being observed, commented on, controlled.  Sort of like social media today.

And they're trapped.  Like many stories with gay symbolism, there is no way out.  This is the whole universe.

The story is a heterosexist fable: studio owner Farley Flavors is in love with Janet, so he hires Drs. Cosmo and Nations McKinley (Richard O'Brien, Patricia Quinn, reprising their incestuous brother-sister romance from Rocky Horror).  They institutionalize Brad as "an emotional cripple" in their  psychiatric-hospital Faith Factory program.  To make Janet forget about Brad, they groom her to star in her own show.

Jessica Harper has a much stronger voice than Susan Sarendon, the original Janet.  Shock Treatment is worth watching just to hear her paeon to egotism, "The Me of Me"

Deep in the heart of me, I love every part of me
All I can see in me is danger and ecstasy
I'm willing to die for me.
One thing there couldn't be is any more me in me

More after the break