Gideon Gemstone and the Return of Scotty Steele. With a Special Appearance by Clay Chang

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Gideon's Prayer Time

Gideon's Prayer Time is at 11:00 am Wednesday!  Who's free at that hour except nursing-home oldsters?  And College of Charleston students, I guess, watching Gideon Gemstone reading off notecards the same words he has written on a powerpoint slide.  

It's stupid of me to  be here, but when I saw him at the Prism party yesterday, smiling, unconcerned about the many LGBTQ people around him, I figured he must be gay.  And beautiful, with a round face, light blue eyes, a slim, tight physique obvious even under his uncomfortable-looking Sunday suit. 

I feel like a total language geek, but I'm a Classics major, taking a seminar in Catullus, so can I help it if he popped into my head::

Equal to Jove that youth may be

Greater than Jove he seems to me

At the sight, my senses fly.

I needs must gaze, and gazing, die

Yesterday Ricky pulled my jaw off the floor and told me that he was Gideon Genstone, Kelvin's nephew.  He was standing right next to his grandfather.  I'm not going to approach a guy standing next to world-famous evangelist Eli Gemstone! 

Who am I kidding?  I was too shy anyway.

Prayer Time has certainly proven that Gideon is no Jove.  The existence of God, his omnipresence, the expiatory sacrifice of Jesus Christ, all in 45 minutes of stumbling theological jargon, with the conclusion: "love one another"!  

I'm having second thoughts about my gaydar.  Gay guys never become ministers - with Kelvin an obvious exception.  Plus Gideon never comes to Prism, even as a guest speaker.  I've never even seen him with Kelvin and Keefe.  Surely if their nephew was gay, they would hang out.

He's looking at me!  He made direct eye contact!  Of course, I'm probably noticeable, the only Asian and only person under 90 in the audience.  Still, doesn't that mean something? 

"You can stay or you can go, but it's over."  Weird way to end a service -- not even a closing prayer. I stand behind the oldsters so I'll be the lasst one out, and I can start a conversation.

He's smiling -- a good sign.  I shake his hand -- warm, firm, s*exy?  "Hi, I'm Clay Chang."

 "Gideon Gemstone.  It's good to see a young face at Prayer Time."

"It was an interesting presentation.  A lot of complex theology."

"Yeah...um...you don't have to be nice on my account.  I knew I screwed up."

Confiding in me?  Must be because we're the same age?  "No, it was fine.  You just need some instruction on homilectics."  I refrain from telling him that "homilectics" means "preaching."  "I took a class my sophomore year at Charleston Southern -- thought I was going to be a preacher."  I hesitate.  He looks at me quizzically.  Do I dare put my hand on his shoulder?  "I have my old class notes back in my apartment -- I can bring them by the church later, or if you want to have lunch..."  

"Lunch sounds great," he says with a smile.  

Suddenly I'm feeling hot.  My heart is racing.  "Ok...um, so meet me in an hour.  Do you want to go to Dudley's?  They're serving lunch now."

He frowns.  Because he doesn't know that Dudley's is a gay bar, or because he knows, and isn't gay?

Think of an alternative, fast!  "Or...um..the Brown Dog Deli, on Calhoun?"  

"Ok, Brown Dog Deli in an hour."  We face each other.  I can't stop grinning.  What do I do now?  Hug him?  Kiss him?  He seems to be having the same dilemma.  Suddenly we both laugh, and he reaches out for another handshake.  

"Bye."

Kelvin

Driving to my apartment, digging out my notes, doing 100 push-ups so I'll have a chest, showering, deciding on a hot but not slutty outfit, driving to the Brown Dog...that leaves six minutes to rush down Kelvin's office next to the Prism Prayer Room.  

No books except for several copies of the Bible,  no desk, just a serpentine-slide thing that looks like a throne, and a lot of exercise machines: our guy likes to work out during his office hours.  Right now he's doing bicep curls -- huge biceps!  I see them three times a week, but I still can't take my eyes off them.  Except to look at the enormous club-bulge in his gym shorts.  Is that real or augmented by a balled-up sock?   

"Clay, My Man!" he exclaims.  "Sit down!  How's that paper on Catullus coming?"  How does he remember all the details of everyone who goes to Prism?

"Fine, I guess. Still stuck in the introduction.  Actually,  I stopped by because I need your advice."

'That's what I'm here for, Boyo. What's on your heart?"

"Um...the thing is, I'm having lunch with Gideon in 53 minutes."

"Who...Gideon Gemstone?  My nephew Gideon?"  He looks surprised.  Too surprised.  "In the market for a new spiritual leader?"

I smile.  Kelvin is jealous!  "No, actually...um...I'm not sure whether it's a friend hang or a date.  I don't even know if Gideon is gay."  

This is the part where Kelvin tells me "Of course he's gay."  He would know, right?

But Kelvin frowns.  "I'm afraid I can't help you there.  I have no idea about Gideon.  He mostly keeps to himself -- we've never had a heart-to-heart talk.  I've maybe said ten words to him in the last year, and four of those words were 'Happy Birthday!' and 'Merry Christmas'"

My heart sinks.  Why would Gideon be gay and not confide in his uncle?  

"Has he ever brought a guy to a family dinner?"

"Not that I can...wait -- there was a guy named Scotty, a couple of years ago, came out from California to visit Gideon, and stayed for two or three weeks.  They were, like, together every moment."

"A boyfriend?"  

"I don't know, but he turned out to be a crook.  He robbed the church's Easter offering and left Gideon and his Dad tied up in the vault."  He pauses.  "Come to think of it, that's the last person outside the family that I've seen Gideon with."

My six minutes are over.  I thank Kelvin, steal anouther peek at his biceps, and rush out.

The Brown Dog

Gideon orders the Susan Hayward Salmon Salad.  I always get a Coney Island Chili-Cheese Dog with fries -- it's the Brown Dog Deli, right?  But I don't want to stain my shirt, or get onion on my breath on the off chance that there will be kissing later -- so I order the Soup of the Day.  

He reads aloud the list of required textbooks from my homilectics class: "Contemporary Preaching, Comedy Preaching, Preaching to People with Disabilities, Homilectics from an Asian-American Perspective..." Ulp, he skips over A Queer Homilectic.  "I like the Week 1 Lecture: 'Skip the slides, or at least use them well.'"

"Yeah, the idea is that preaching is different from lecturing to a classroom.  You're trying to reach people's hearts, not their heads."

"Sounds like you were very good at it."

"I just got a B+.  In my family, anything under an A++ is considered a failure."

"Is that why you tranferred to the College of Charleston and became a Classics major?"

"No, I just fell in love with Latin.  Ovid. Apuleius.  Virgil's Eclogues.  Formosum pastor Corydon ardebat Alexin." Oh no, it's about a guy named Alexis in love with the beautiful shepherd Corydon.  Why did I quote that?  What if he asks for a translation?

Saved by the bell: our food arrives, giving me a chance to change the subject.  "My parents wanted me to major in business and like sit in an office all day, talking about stocks or something.  They really didn't like my decision to major in classics -- dead languages, and not even Asian!  They had this image in their head of me with a wife and kids, a house in the suburbs, mowing the lawn, barbecuing, fixing the rain gutters..

"I had the same problem.  My parents wouldn't let me be me.  They had this image of me as a perfect little church boy.  When I was 18, I ran way to California, and didn't talk to my dad for a year."

A moment of connection!  I reach out and cup my hand over Gideon's.  He draws away. Because he's not gay, because he's not into me, or because he needs his hand to hold his fork?

I pretend not to notice.  "What brought you back to South Carolina?"

"I've been going back and forth.  A few months in L.A., then a few months at home.  I'm not sure where I belong.  Maybe I don't belong anywhere."

Gideon is lost, and lonely.  Gay or not, maybe he just needs a friend.

We eat in silence for a few minutes.  Then: "Are you busy tomorrow?"

Tomorrow night?  Like a real date?  Maybe he just needs a boyfriend!  "I have a seminar in Apuleus at 10:00, but I'm free after that."

"My Uncle Baby Billy is filming at tv show about Jesus as a teenager.  They're doing it campy, like a modern day high school."

I know -- I've dated the guy who plays Teenjus.  But I tell Gideon.  "That sounds interesting."

"Want to drop by and watch a rehearsal tomorrow? We could get dinner later."

He is definitely describing a date!

I spend the rest of the day vaguely listening to professors lecture and my roommate drone on about some video game, while thinking about Gideon.  Hopefully he's a bottom -- he's so soft and slim, sort of femme, he's got to be a bottom.  Not that I would mind going downtown.

The full story, with n*de photos and s*exual conversations, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

See also: Is There S*ex After Death?  A Gideon-Scotty Story

The Other Gemstone Brothers Stories:

Pontius Gemstone and the Boy Named Stacy.  With Stacy and Pontius doing it.

"Dad Can't Know I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Romance, with a special appearance from Pontius and Stacy

"My Three Gay Sons and...ugh...Vance Simkins": A Jesse Gemstone Adventure

You are invited to Kelvin and Keefe's wedding, with exclusive NSFW photos from the honeymoon

  

Link to the honeymoon photos

Tony posted some additional scenes from the Rightoeus Gemstones Episode 4.9 wedding:

Martin: "Once upon a time, there were two  princes who fell in love."

The family applauds; a close up of the wedding program (top photo).

Sola the Nanny: "Alles gutes zum Hochzeitstag. Happy wedding anniversary"

Tiffany: "Yeah!"

Pontius: "Hey, Uncle Kelvin and Uncle Keefe. I hope you guys have a great marriage. Don't f*k too hard, ok?"

Gideon: "What Pontius is trying to say is, let your love... may your love be a blessing."  Looks like he is vaping.

Pontius: "Let your love be deep and hard...deep and hard.  Best wishes, guys."

More after the break

Cody Kearsley: Metis actor with two gay roles, Moose Mason and a post-Apocalyptic zombie. Plus Cody and another Metis guy n*de

Link to the n*de dudes

Having found success with one Riverdale hunk, I thought I'd check on the others.  How about Cody Kearsley, who played one of Kevin Keller's boyfriends: Moose Mason.

You remember Moose from the comics: stupid and muscular (the two usually went together in the media of the day), and so insanely jealous of his girlfriend Midge that he pulverized any guy who even glanced at her. 

In the kinder, gentler 1990s, he was modified to be less violent, and his "stupidity" was explained as undiagnosed dyslexia.  

On Riverdale, the Moose-Midge relationship is troubled by mutual cheating, Moose with Kevin and Midge with Fangs Fogarty of the Southside Serpents.  After Midge is murdered, Moose dates Kevin for awhile, but is afraid to be outed as bisexual.  Eventually he leaves town, and Kevin moves on to the also-bisexual Fangs before getting dumped for Toni, Cheryl's ex girlfriend, and Moose come back to town...well, basically everyone hooks up with everyone.   It's a soap opera, after all.

Let's go back to Cody Kearsley.

Cody belongs to the Métis people, descendants of First Nations members and French settlers from the early days of European colonization.  There are 587,000 Métis in Canada, and a smaller number in the U.S..  Like many First Nation people, they have a tradition of Two-Spirits, adding 2S to LGBTQ and celebrating Gay Pride.

There are three Métis languages, with only a few thousand native speakers but many more learning them to embrace their cultural heritage.  Cody is learning Heritage Michif, spoken primarily in southern Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Montana, and North Dakota.  It is a French-Cree hybrid, with some vocabulary from English and Western Ojibwa.

Can you see the French origin of the days of the week? (Hint: lundi, mardi, mercredi, jeudi, vendredi, samedi, dimanche)

Cody actually grew up in Oliver, British Columbia, in the Sylix Okangan Nation that comprises seven communities on the Canadian-U.S. border.  He attended the Southern Okangan Secondary School, then moved to Vancouver to complete his senior year.

He was active in community and school theater, starring as Bobby Child in Crazy for You and Danny Zuko in Grease.

More after the break

"Game Over, Man": Adam Devine n*de for five minutes What's not to like?

 

Shortly after the end of Workaholics, the guys (Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson) played about the same characters in Game Over, Man (2018), moving their shenanigans into a hostage crisis in a high-rise hotel.  The reviews were unfailingly horrible, 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Their goofiness conflicts with a jarringly grim, violent plotline, there's way too much vulgarity, disgustingly graphic deaths, a severed d*ck used as a prop, torture by r*mming (wait -- is that torture or a pleasant Saturday night?), plus horrifying homophobia.  I'm afraid to watch the whole movie, but I'll review a scene that the Roger Ebert.com reviewer criticizes as featuring "some pretty extreme homophobia."  

Remember, I walked out of Spider-Man (2002) when Tobey Maguire said "Like all stories, this story is about a boy and a girl."  Claiming that gay men and lesbians don't exist, homophobic jerk!  So this will certainly raise my hackles.

See the NSFW version of this review for the extensive -- way extensive -- shots of Adam Devine's d*ck and backside

The set-up: The terrorist's henchmen, Steve Howey and Mac Brandt, are trying to kill the guys.  For some reason Adam decides to pretend that he has died of auto-*rotic asphyxiation, hanging in the closet with his d*ck in his hand. Blake and Anders hide under the bed (it would be too confusing to use character names).

 

Finding the "Corpse"

The henchmen burst into the hotel room, examine Adam's "corpse" (we get a closeup of Adam's hand on his d*ck).  Steve comments: "Look at this freaky f*k."

Mac: "Rest in peace, you horny bastard."

Steve worries that the job is going badly, but Mac reassures him: "By this time tomorrow, we'll be sipping Coronas in Cabo."  

Steve: "I don't want to see you getting hurt."

Mac: "You're sweet."

Steve: " I love you."

They kiss -- a little peck, then a big smooching thing. Adam, watching, is shocked.  Not homophobic, maybe a little heteronormative: "Wait -- gay henchmen exist?

The Attack

The henchmen decide to do it "real quick," take off their shirts, and jump on the bed. We don't see any more of their kissing.  Guys, your pants aren't off.  Not going to have a lot of action that way.

Blake sneaks a peek, then turns to Anders and says "Eww, right?"  Not homophobic.  Blake's character is actually gay and closeted (at this point), so he's trying to determine how a straight guy should react.

To defend themselves, the guys throw the blanket over the couple and punch and kick them.  Anders grabs a lamp and beats Steve's head.  Blood alert. . Adam, shocked, says "I am so sorry." But you didn't do it.

Mac throws him across the room (d*ck shot). 

We Killed the Bad Guys

Mac punches Blake and advances on Anders: "You just killed the man of my dreams. Now you're gonna die."  Anders claims that Steve is just knocked out, but Mac throws him across the room and starts to strangle him.

Anders: "I'm sorry I killed him.  I'll be your boyfriend."  

Blake throws a lamp.  Mac turns and advances on him. He ducks, and Mac flies into a dresser and is knocked unconscious.  Anders: "I think you killed him!"

Adam: "Sorry I didn't help...we killed the bad guys!  My plan worked!" He spins his d*ck around in celebration. Um...so, can I get this on BluRay?

Anders: "Stop it!  Your plan didn't work!  You got them h*orny, and got me kicked in the chest."  Blake asks if he's all right.  Aww, fraternal love...

Adam says that since they killed the bad guys, they get to take their stuff (backside and b*all shot). That's Video Games 101.  The other guys disagree: "You're only going to get them madder."  Aren't they dead?

He finds some zip ties, a knife, and a gun, which accidentally goes off, then decides to go put his pants on.  A close-up of his d*ck bouncing around as he walks toward the closet.  Is it getting hot in here?

Anders wants to know why he's getting dressed in the closet, when they've already seen hm n*de.  

Homophobia: I didn't see any, just some heteronormative surprise that gay henchmen exist.  Do the critics know what homophobia is?  Hatred/disgust of gay people, not gay activity.

The henchmen don't seem to be at all into each other -- look at those grimaces -- but that's the actors' fault. 

Adam's D*ck: It may be intended to disgust dudebro viewers -- if there were n*de ladies, I'd be fast-forwarding.  But if you're into d*cks, this is a masterpiece.

My Grade: Based on this scene alone, B.  Based on Adam alone, A+.

The n*de photos are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Ryan Potter: N*de and gay adult pics of the Supah Ninja, Beast Boy, Hiro Hamada, mystic, gamer, and bisexual buddy

Link to the n*de photos

Ryan Potter is best known as Gar Logan, aka Beast Boy, in the DC Comics Universe series Titans (2018-23).

These aren't the Teen Titans from your Daddy's comics collection.  The original Robin the Boy Wonder is still around, but the team also includes two of his successors, Jason Todd and Tim Drake, as well as Connor Kent, the clone of Superman and Lex Luthor.

Plus there are gay and trans characters, and a lot of backsides on display, including Ryan's.

Ryan was born in 1995, and spent his first seven years in Tokyo before relocating to Los Angeles.  He started his acting career in Supah Ninjas (2011-13), spelled wrong on purpose, playing a shy, quiet student who discovers that he is...um...a super Ninja.  His best friend and the Girl of His Dreams join the team, tutored by his grandfather, George Takei.

More movies about shy, quiet students who learn martial arts followed, plus some Disney teencoms and a lot of animated series about martial arts.

In the various Big Hero 6 movies  and tv programs (Baymax and..., Big Chibi 6, Baymax Dreams, Big Hero 6: The Series, Baymax!), Ryan plays Hiro Hamada, a teenage robotics genius who creates a snowman-like inflatable robot named Baymax.  He and his friends and the Girl of His Dreams form the superhero team Big Hero 6.

One of the versions has a gay character named Mbita, and  another has Brooks Wheelan as Fred, "team mascot at SFIT."

The animated Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (2020-22) follows teens at a summer camp on Isla Nubar who get stuck when the dinosaurs take over.  There are two lesbian teens among them, but Ryan's character is straight.

That's a lot of straight guys, but in his private life Ryan is a gay ally:

He was the youngest celebrity to speak out on the No H8 campaign in 2012, favoring the legalization of same-sex marriage

In 2021, he tweeted that his Titans character, Gar, was bisexual.

In 2022, he came out as bisexual himself.

More after the break

Ryan Masson: Gay actor with one gay role, then "girls! girls! girls!" all the way down. With his junk and bonus n*de dudes

 

Link to the n*de dudes

In The Last of Us, Episode 2.4 (2025), some 20 years into the zombie Apocalypse, the Washington Liberation Front ("Wolves') and a death cult called the Seraphites are battling for control of zombie-ravaged Seattle.  Wolf Isaac (Jeffrey Wright) captures  Seraphite Malcolm (Ryan Masson) and tortures him into revealing the location of cult's headquarters.  

It's a brutal scene.  Malcolm is all bloody, so I'm not going to show his face.  But I was interested in his cute little d*k.  Maybe we could take a look at Ryan Masson in more aesthetically pleasing roles.

Ryan grew up in Memphis.  He became interested in acting through watching old movies with his grandfather, novelist John Fergus Ryan.

 He played Puck in his middle-school production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and a dandy in A Christmas Carol. although he didn't know what a dandy was.  By high school, he knew, and shied away from the theater, thinking it too "feminine."

At the College of Charleston, Ryan majored in biology and minored in French, planning to go to some isolated locale to researched endangered species.  But the acting bug won out over his fear of being "called gay": he starred in Romeo and Juliet (as Romeo) and Child's Play (about a Catholic school where some of the boys are demon-possessed).  

During his senior year, Ryan starred in the weekly webseries Dank Shadows (2011), a parody of the 1960s Gothic soap opera.  His Marolyn Foddard was a reflection of the vampire, werewolf, and Frankenstein-bedevilled heiress Carolyn Stoddard. 

After graduation, Ryan moved to Los Angeles and enrolled at the California Institute of the Arts, where he received a MFA in acting in 2015.  

He went home for four episodes of  Feral (2016), which is not about werewolves: it's an angst-drama about LGBTQ friends, like Looking but set in Memphis.   He plays the boyfriend of focus character Billy (Jordan Nichols), who suffers from depression.  I guess he wasn't worried about being "called gay" anymore.

His next starring role was Involution (2018), a Russian movie where "the Earth has been sent out of control, affected by a cruel and inhuman mechanism that turns back Darwin's Theory of Evolution."  I don't know what that means, but Ryan's character gets a girlfriend.

A comedic role, sort of, in the "Thelma and Louise" episode of Good Girls (2019), about three suburban housewives who commit crimes.  One of their husbands is interested in killing crime boss Rio (Manny Montana), so he hires professional assassins PJ and Tobin (Ryan, Travis Mills).  They turn out to be "not what he expected."  

I'll have to check the episode to see if they are a gay couple.

Nope, they talk about doing stuff with girls.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: when I went through the cast list of Good Girls to see if any of the male actors had n*de photos, I found one of Zack Robidas, who does not appear on the show.

More after the break

Researching Justin Lebeau: From "Doctor Who" to gay videos

     

Link to the n*de Justin

In Episode 10.5 of the 2017 series of Doctor Who, the Doctor and his companions zap into the future, where the gay-vague Nardole is attracted to a blue-skinned alien.   I wanted to find the actor, but I couldn't remember the character's name.

Googling "Doctor Who" and "blue-skinned alien" yielded a n*de photo of someone named Justin Lebeau, but he is not in the list of male guest stars of the episode. 

What's the connection?  I decided to research him.

The IMDB lists eight acting credits, all in gay adult videos between 2010 and 2013

In the tv series Video Boys and C*cky Boys:

Bottom for the first time (May 14, 2010)

Performing with Ashton Hardwell (November 19, 2010)

Top for the first time (February 11, 2011).

Getting it in the face  (December 16, 2011)

Performing with Jake Bass (December 30, 2011)

Showing Seth Knight around Montreal (Feb 24, 2012)

Performing with Jake Bass again (April 2, 2012)

Performing with Bobby Long and Lucas Wild  (April 20, 2012)

Skateboarding with Jimmy Little (May 18, 2012)

More after the break

What has Jak Kristowski, last seen at the Citadel with Kelton Dumont, been up to lately? Hopefully n*de modeling and meeting German guys

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Jak Kristowski is an actor and producer who spent a day at the Citadel, South Carolina's military college, playing a cadet against Kelton Dumont's Pontius in Righteous Gemstones Episode 3.9.   His scene was cut, but he liked the military life so much that after high school he enlisted.

I didn't have enough n*de photos for a full profile, so I posted a selfie in one of Kelton Dumont's photo collections.

Jak is still a producer, the CEO of Barn Door Productions, with Spider Man: The Dark Age (2023), which I reviewed, plus two upcoming projects:

A Letter to Let Go: "Lola is living a two-faced life," but a letter from her sister "becomes a beacon of light."  I'm going to guess that the two-faced life does not mean that Lola is a lesbian, and the letter will help her find God.

Banner: To Seek Refuge, a fan retelling of the Incredible Hulk mythos.  On the run from a federal agent obsessed with his capture, David Banner (Cal Nguyen) meets a fellow refugee. The IMDB entry doesn't say who it is.  The third person listed in the cast is Vin Massi, "bad actor, bad model, part time bodybuilder," so maybe David meets a guy for a gay-subtext buddy-bond.  

But Jak's main job now is the army.  He trained in the exclusive K-9 unit.

He is currently stationed in Germany, where he goes to all the theme parks and takes pictures of the statues of naked men.

More after the break. 

Gemstones Episode 4.9, Continued: Do the siblings really die? Do Kelvin and Keefe really get married? With some random n*de dudes to get you through it

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Earlier in the episode, Corey asks for $7 million to keep the Gator Farm open, but Eli and the siblings refuse.  This causes a meltdown.  To defuse the situation, the siblings push Corey out to play cornhole, and Eli takes the rest of the family out on his boat.

Cornhole with Corey: The siblings say that they'll help any way that they can, other than giving you $7 million, of course.

Kelvin's $5,000 shirt is stained with chocolate, so he runs upstairs to change, and hears his mama whisper to him.  There she is!  Or is it someone else, masquerading as Aimee-Leigh for a nefarious purpose?

She leads him into Corey's room, for some reason, then vanishes.  Look, it's Corey's bag, with a gun inside, and the Gold-Plated Bible!  Wait -- why would Aimee-Leigh want to point out the Bible?  All it does is implicate Corey as an accessory in Cobb's theft.  And why would Corey bring it along on a weekend at the lake house?

Suddenly Corey is there.  "Why you sniffing my underwear?"

Kelvin quickly shoves the Bible in his back pocket. "Oh -- um, I was looking for a shirt to wear...I must have walked in the wrong room."   

"Is that all?" He stumbles and stutters, but Corey lets him leave.

He rushes down and shows the Bible to the siblings. 

Corey Comes Clean: Uh-oh, here's Corey.  He explains that Cobb stole the Bible, but gave it to him because he kept his mouth shut about the home invasion.  Afterwards, he helped Cobb.  They called it the "Ex-Boyfriends Club": whenever Lori found a new guy, it was time for a meeting of the Ex-Boyfriend's Club: "And then we would handle things, one way or another."  You're confessing all this because Kelvin found the Bible?

Flashback to Corey watching from his car as Cobb beats up a guy with a board.

"At first Dad would just fight them.  Then things got worse and worse."

A guy falls out of the back of the Gator Farm truck and tries to run, but Cobb shoots him.

"Daddy was a monster. By the time we got to Mitch, I was a monster, too."  

So Cobb and Corey have been taking care of the boyfriends for 20 year, and Lori never noticed?  Surely one of the beat-up guys would mention it instead of just ghosting her.

Next question: Is Mitch only boyfriend that Cobb kept as slave, or were there others?

Corey heads back into the house.  The siblings think he's going to hurt himself, and follow.

A random muscle twink, to steel you up for what happens next. C*ock RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

The Siblings Die: Once they reach the house, Corey starts shooting. Judy is down!  Jesse and Kelvin run!

Meanwhile, on the boat, Gideon hears gunshots.  

Corey turns up the music loud, so they won't hear as he chases Jesse and Kelvin through the house: UB40, "Red Red Wine."

All I can do, I've done.  Memories won't go.

I'd have sworn, that with time thoughts of you would leave my head

I was wrong  -- now I find just one thing makes me forget

Corey brought the Golden Bible to the Lake House because covering up for Cobb that night marked the beginning of his descent. If the siblings gave him the money, things might have been different -- maybe he would have returned it to get closure -- but their rejection suggests that he can't be redeemed. He will die a monster. So he goes after them.

Kelvin rushes into Eli's room.  Corey follows him and checks under the bed.  Not there; he jumps out from behind a curtain and attacks.  Corey shoots him.  Notice the parallel with the home invasion; Kelvin is no longer afraid.

Next Corey shoots through a closet door, and Jesse collapses -- but still alive!  

Out of bullets, Corey heads out to his truck and starts assembling a high-power rifle.  The siblings crawl toward each other, alive but injured.  I already knew that a wedding was coming up.  At this point I was wondering if it was a dream sequence, or Eli marrying Lori.

Jesse has a gun in his room, but they're too weak to climb the stairs. So Judy rings for the Monkey, and tells it to go upstairs and fetch Jesse's purse.

The Monkey brings it, and as Corey walks in with his rifle, Jesse shoots him. 

The siblings hover over him as he is dying. "I'm sorry, y'all," he tells them.

Corey has realized that he isn't a monster after all.  Like the boys dying during the Civil War, he killed not out of a violent nature, but because he was forced.  Now he is dying, and scared.  He asks the siblings to pray for him.

Knowing that they are dying, too, the siblings also pray for themselves, evoking the pain that has kept them from God, and from each other, through four seasons:

Judy: Anger

Kelvin: Fear

Jesse: Jealousy

For all of them: The belief that they are not worthy of love.  

Of course they aren't.  None of us are.  But by some miracle, we are loved anyway.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed.

Whoa, I'll bet you didn't expect profound theological insights from a tv show specializing in d*cks  (example on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

More after the break

Gavin Lewis: Is the Prince of Peoria packing, or are his abs enough? With Gavin, Jordan, and Tim's junk

 

 Link to the n*de dudes

The Prince of Peoria (2018-19) was an tttempt by Netflix to break into the teencom market with a Hannah Montana-type premise: Emil (Gavin Lewis), the young prince of a ridiculously over-the-top country, goes undercover as an ordinary exchange student in Peoria, Illinois.

I grew up near Peoria, so I was hoping for shots of local landmarks.  But, except for the opening montage, you might as well be in Albuquerque.  No Peoria landmarks are mentioned in the two episodes I reviewed.

An unbridled id, Emil forms an "unlikely" buddy bond with overachieving superego Teddy (Theodore Barnes, the one who doesn't have his shirt off).  Emil teaches Teddy not to be so uptight, and Teddy teaches Emil to be more responsible.

The gay subtext is played with, as in "The Bro-Posal," when Emil proposes (asks Teddy to make their relationship official), and is rejected.

And in "Robot Wars," advertised as "Emil develops an instant crush on Ryan, Teddy's long-time rival." Turns out that Ryan is a girl with a boy's name!  Fooled you!

You probably didn't watch, but you'll certainly be interested in Gavin Lewis now, at age 21.

Researching topics other than Gavin's abs is rough.  Only one instagram post, no Facebook account, no X, a very common name.  According to Wikipedia, he was born in Salt Lake City, so we can guess that he's Mormon.  

At age nine Gavin was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  Nick Jonas came to visit him, resulting in his interest in a stage career (his parents being theater professionals helped, too).  He booked his first movie role at the age of nine, and soon moved to Los Angeles to start auditioning.

Pre-Peoria work includes Just Jacques, Ominous, Real Boy, NCIS, Hey Arnold, The Bugaloos, and No Good Nick.

After Peoria, Gavin got a starring role in  Little Fires Everywhere (2020), a Hulu drama about: "the weight of secrets, the nature of art and identity, the ferocious pull of motherhood – and the danger in believing that following the rules can avert disaster."  Geeze, just tell us what it's about. Does anyone start a fire?

Gavin plays Moody, the youngest son of the "picture-perfect Richardson family."  In Episode 2, he "grows frustrated as Trip tells him Pearl friend-zoned him and is hanging out with Lexie."  I don't know what that means. 

The other guys in the photo are Moody's brother Trip (Jordan Elsass) and his friend Brian (Stevonte Hart).  Sorry, they're all heterosexual, but there's a gay character: Moody's older sister, "the black sheep of the family," naturally.

And Jordan Elsass reputedly has an adult video somewhere online.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.9: Corey moonwalks, Pontius hugs, and BJ greases his pole. Plus there are two hunkoids on crosses, one with a d*ck

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Title: "That the Man of God May Be Complete."  1 Timothy 3:17, ESV: All Scripture is inspired by God, so "that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."   Sounds like the Golden Bible will play a role.

Left: Pontius spends nearly the entire episode hugging Gideon.  It looks like Abraham squeezed between them.  I can't tell which leg belongs to who.

The Duel:  The Cape and Pistol Society.  Vance bursts in, drinking, and everyone laughs at him.  He points out that Kelvin has defeated him, but not Jesse, and throws down the yellow handkerchief, challenging him to a duel.  Vance will have Pastor Brad as his second, and Jesse will get Eli.

They immediately adjourn to the front lawn.  Jesse is nervous, since he's a terrible shot. Eli suggests that he back out, but nope: "He insulted Kelvin and built mini-malls in our territory."  You know, duelling is illegal lin South Carolina.

Vance's shot goes way over the trees.  Jesse aims at him, but he runs zigzag.  Then he stops and begs for his life.  Jesse deliberately aims away from him: "You don't need a secret society to be an impressive man.  It's what you do that makes you impressive.  So I quit."  Thus ends Jesse's plot arc: he's going to stop being jealous of others' success.

The Proposal: Kelvin and Keefe examine the newly-completed treehouse, praising how nicely it all came together.   "Great job, Keefey."  You've never once called him that, Bro. 

Keefe points out that a storm is brewing, and "the devil's piss causes you terror."  Nope, not anymore.  In fact, a lot of things don't scare him anymore: spiders in toilets, the old lady puppet from Mr. Rogers (well, she was scary).... and marriage. 

Remember, in Episode 4.2, Keefe suggests getting married, and he completely tears down the idea.  He approaches: "Keefe Chambers, will you marry me?", with a box with an engagement ring.  They hug and kiss.  

This is the end of Kelvin's plot arc: he is no longer paralyzed by fear.  We still need a wedding -- hopefully.

BJ Greases His ___: BJ is unscrewing his pole: "I thought  I needed this to prove how manly I was, riding this long, sleek pole up, only to drop down, my thighs squeezing it."  Um...BJ, it's getting hot in here.  

He tells Judy, "It's about to pop off.  Put your hands in position, right at the base...squeeze it tight...we're going to jerk it off."  Dude, I might join you.

Now that the pole has come, they discuss the Monkey.  BJ misses him, and wants him back.

Cut to Judy taking him for a joyful reunion.  I'm fast forwarding past that part.  Presumably this is the end of her plot arc.

Lori and Eli: Lori notes that the kids like her again, now that she and Eli aren't dating.  In other news, Corey is taking the crisis "real rough."  He hardly leaves the house, and his wife Jana has moved in with her sister.

Lori found some mementos that Eli might enjoy: A flier from one of her shows, a letter that Aimee-Leigh wrote her soon after the divorce. Hey, the Gold Bible isn't there.  They say goodbye and hug.  Doesn't she live nearby?  Can't they continue to be friends?

Later, Eli retrieves the letter from the box, but can't bring himself to open it.

Hunkoids on Crosses: Baby Billy goes back to work after his ordeal at the Gator Park Massacre. Everyone applauds.  He notes that he is happy to be alive, and God gave him the physical prowess of a teen boy to help vanquish Cobb.

Left: Ash (Michael Sayfou) tied to a cross.  

"Ok, back to work. Work, work, work."  He doesn't seem happy as they set up the crucifixion scene.  He recalls his argument with Tiffany: "Is that all that matters to you?", and flashes back to spending  time with his family. 

Left: Another hunkoid, maybe Edge (Alex Matoussian (c*ock after the break).

Baby Billy stops the filming and announces "I quit.  Even though it may cost my nephews and niece millions of dollars.  Shows over.  Fuck tv."

This ends Baby Billy's plot arc: he has chosen family over fame.  

More after the break