Pontius Gemstone, the Boy Named Stacy, and the E*rotic Alphabet. With a special appearance by Gideon Gemstone

   

 Link to the n*de dudes

Stacy awoke with Pontius' arms wrapped around him, his head on Pontius' chest.  He could resist reaching down to stroke his.....

"Mmm...keep doing that." 

"Sorry, I didn't know you were awake."

"I try not to sleep when you're lying in my arms.  I don't want to miss any of it."  He leaned up, and they kissed.

"Good morning."  Pontius' gaze was intense, yet warm, comforting, loving.  

"I love you," Stacy said.

Instead of saying "I love you" back, Pontius leapt out of bed.  "Be right back -- gotta pee."  He bounced to the bathroom.

 While listening to the pee-sounds  -- why was that *rotic?  -- Stacy looked around the room: New dresser, desk cluttered with books and headphones, a map of the world taped to the wall, drawings of car designs, a bookcase with mostly Matchbox car models, three dusty guitars that no one had ever used, a glowing neon P.  

Pontius had replaced a poster of a bikini babe with a muscleman because Stacy asked him to, and cleared a drawer for some shirts, socks, and underwear, but it was still his room, Pontius with capital P, in the house he shared with his brother. 

They met last July, when Stacy was shot in the Gator Farm Massacre, and Pontius visited him at the hospital.  Since they, they had hung out almost every day.  

There were movies, concerts, plays, Queer Youth Game Nights. dinner at Jason's Steakhouse after church, volunteer work, a Halloween Party, Thanksgiving with Stacy's family, Christmas with the Gemstones, New Year's Eve in Myrtle Beach -- yet whenever Stacy hinted at moving in together, or getting their own place, Pontius deflected, changed the subject, or bounced out of the room, and God forbid he say "I love you."  Did he think of Stacy as a boyfriend or a buddy? 

Sound of the water running, a towel being yanked, and then Pontius rushed out of the bathroom. "So, what we were talking about?"

"Me on my stomach, I think."

"No, on your back.  I want to look at you."

The full story is on  RG Beefcake and Boyfriends . Hint: there's kissing and stuff.

See also: Kelton Dumont's Hot Photos, Part 3: Birthday biceps, bare bottoms, ruggers, and brothers for life

Pontius Gemstone and the Boy Named Stacy

Johnny Berchtold: I have good news and bad news.  The good news is his junk 

"Cavendish": Brothers, one gay, face paranormal peril in a quirky PEI town. With Sandiford drawers and Canadian hunks

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Amazon Prime has been releasing a lot of British "cozy mysteries." where you run down to High Street to find the village baddy murdered, have the constable tell you to "let the police handle it", but solve it yourself with the help of your cat.  They're sort of comforting in dark times. So when Cavendish appeared, I assumed that it was a cozy mystery and clicked on it without doing any research.

Surprise: It's actually about a quirky small town in Canada.  Think Schitt's Creek, Corner Gas, and Trailer Park Boys; for a quirky First Nation community, North by North; or Kim's Convenience and Running the Burbs for a quirky Toronto. I'm in.

Scene 1: Brothers Mark and Andy are a standard id-superego couple: "Let's streak through Parliament Hill"/"I can't, I have to write an article on potatoes." They cross Confederation Bridge into Prince Edward Island, Mark singing the songs to the Anne of Green Gables musical (the books are set on PEI).  Andy is tired of hearing show tunes.  Wait -- show tunes?  Mark is gay.

Back story: when they were four and eight years old, their mom and dad divorced, and they left Cavendish, PEI.  They haven't spoken to Dad since, but they're returning now because he's dying.

More back story: When he was a kid, Mark didn't realize that Andy was only four years older; he thought he was an adult, "Dad's friend who lived with us."   A gay partner?

Scene 2: Dad and his new girlfriend Ruth run The Museum of the Strange and the Fantastic out of their house. Sounds cool.  She remembers Mark from when he was a kid, and used to come to her shop, but she doesn't remember Andy, and assumes that he's Mark's boyfriend.  Andy has been mistaken for a gay partner twice, har har.  He'll turn out to be straight.

We get a tour of all the "cool crap" in the museum, like a UFO, an Egyptian sarcophagus -- and a fetus in a jar?  

Ruth's niece, the monotone-speaking Goth Brynn (think Lily from Duolingo), works at the musuem.   No doubt Mark have a crush on her, but she will keep him in the Friend Zone until the season finale, when they kiss (Like on Friends, Cheers, Family Matters, Schitz Creek...well, every sitcom ever).  

In other news, it's Beast Day, when a beast emerges from the woods in search of someone to consume, so the stores are all closed, and everyone stays home.  Brynn made a drawing, which we can't see because "he's got a lot of anatomy going on."  Goth Girl likes...um...anatomy.

Left: Mark Little and Andrew Bush are members of the Halifax-based comedy troupe Picnicface.

Scene 3: Their old room is exactly how they left it  -- sports trophies, teddy bears, a picture of a tv puppeteer and the girl Andrew had a crush on. Ten to one the grown-up version is hanging around to become Andy's Love Interest. 

After Girlfriend Ruth sets out the scraps of meat for the Beast, it's time for dinner.  Dad comes in wheezing on an oxygen machine...but it's a prank!  He's fine!  Andy is miffed: they just came because they thought Dad was dying.

Mark hugs Dad, but Andy stays in his seat, fuming.  "Andy, how's the stick up your ass," Dad asks.

"So, how about apologizing for abandoning us?"

"Sure.  I'm sorry -- that you have such an enormous stick up your ass."

"We're leaving first thing in the morning!" Andy yells.  

"Good.  Then I can go back to pretending you're dead!"  Dad storms off.

Scene 4: POV of the Beast as it snorts and growls up the steps and eats the offering of meat scraps and milk -- and attacks Dad!  

Just a dream -- but Mark's scream awakens the whole house.  In other news, Dad is missing for real!

They call Constable Gibbs. Andy thinks he went to a hotel so he wouldn't have to spend the night with them, but Mark finds his blood-stained robe in the yard.  

More after the break.

"Cheaper by the Dozen": Twelve Kids, Some Beefcake

This is one of the iconic beefcake scenes of the 1960s, at least for the kids in the era when bare chests were as rare as gay characters in the movies: the hunky 18-year old Tim Matheson takes his shirt off, for no apparent reason except to give teenagers something to look at.  The movie is Yours, Mine, and Ours (1968), about a  widow with 10 kids who marries a widower with 8 kids, resulting in a very large blended family,  The Brady Bunch times three.

It's all very heteronormative, promoting the value of excessive reproduction, in spite of world overpopulation and the economic problems of feeding that many people.  But who cares?  There was a hunk.

The 2005 remake stars Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo as the highly prolific parents.  Sean Faris, playing the oldest son, gets an extensive beefcake scene.  He's in the midst of shaving when he's called away for an emergency, so there's lather all over his face, but still, beefcake is beefcake.

The 1950 movie Cheaper by the Dozen, based on the memoirs of Frank Gilbreath, has a similar theme: Myra Loy and Clifton Webb star as the parents of twelve kids.  No blended family here; they actually reproduced twelve times.  Clifton Webb was gay in real life, and extremely swishy, so it seems difficult to imagine him having sex with a woman at all.  But that was probably the point: to "redeem" him by demonstrating that even swishy guys are heterosexual.

No beefcake here; the teenage children are both girls.  

In the 2003 remake and its 2005 sequel, Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt became the parents of the brood.  I haven't seen them -- I avoid movies starring Steve Martin -- but apparently Tom Welling as the oldest son gives us a requisite beefcake shot.  Some of the actors playing the younger kids have also grown up into hunks, such as twins Brent and Shane Kinsman.

Disney+ released heir version of Cheaper by the Dozen in 2022, with Zach Branff and Gabrielle Union as the parents.  It's modernized -- the family is interracial, the parents are divorced rather than widowed, and some of the kids are adopted.  But not too modernized: signs tell us that Black Lives Matter and that we should Resist Hate, but everyone is still heterosexual.  

I had high hopes for Luke Prael as the troubled teenager Seth.  But he displays no interest in boys or girls.

At least Zach Branff takes off his shirt a lot.

And his last name is actually Braff, not Branff.  It's just pronounced with an n, like that town in Canada.

See also: James Dumont's teen idol career, with Tim Matheson, Rob Lowe, and Andrew McCarthy

"Oz, the Great and Powerful": A walking p* enis (not in a good way) finds true love, two wicked witches, and a flying monkey

"Shrinking": A bizarre shrink, the male gaze, sentient water, and an invisible gay friend. With Segal and Tanner d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I heard that Tim Baltz, who played BJ on The Righteous Gemstones, starred in a sitcom about an inept Shrink, so when we got Apple Plus, I clicked on Shrinking, Episode 1.

Scene 1: Husband and wife, Liz, in bed.  Hey, that's not Tim Baltz.  It might be Ted McGinley, left, who I last saw on "Married..with Children."   He tells her it's her turn to handle it.  They argue, but she goes -- not to take care of a new baby, har har, but to yell at the next door neighbor.  

He is fully clothed, wiggling his fingers in a bizarre way while two bikini babes frolick in the pool. Heterosexual male gaze, anyone? 

Liz tells him that it's 3:00 am, and he should turn the music off.  But he and the bikini babes are partying with adderall and opioids.  So why aren't you in the pool with them?

"What about Alice?"  Must be Bizarre Guy's wife.

Scene 2:  Bizarre Guy gets up, goes to his kitchen - full of booze bottles, with a painting of a bikini babe on the wall (ok, ok, you're straight, I get it), and gets yelled at by his sister or daughter. She turns up a photo of Bizarre Guy hugging two women.  

Left: I didn't realize it until I checked the IMDB, but Bizarre Guy is played by Jason Segal, and he's the focus character!  I don't know why they wanted to fool viewers into thinking that Liz and her husband were the focus.  Malicious editors?

He gets into his car, but it's out of gas, so he rides a bike -- badly.  When bikers zoom past him, he insults them with an invitation to gay s*x.  Apparently Bizarre Guy is homophobic.

He ends up at the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center, where he has an appointment with his shrink, Tim Baltz.

Wait -- Bizarre Guy is the shrink!  But those bizarre finger movements, like he has some kind of psychotic disorder. The doctor is crazier than his patients!

Scene 3:  Bizarre Guy holds his head under the water faucet, then returns to his patients: 

"I hate my mother"

"The barista made me spell 'Dan'"

"I always go out with superficial girls."

Jason's backside and d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

"My boyfriend made me go back to fetch my sunglasses, but they were right on my head the whole time.  Then he called me stupid, but he said I had great t__, so he loves me." Great T__ is displaying them very brazenly for the aesthetic pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer.

Bizarre Guy blows up: they've been through this again and again.  If your boyfriend calls you stupid, he doesn't love you.  Besides, he's not that great: "his muscles are too big, and his shirts are too tight. Nobody likes that!"

Forget that gay men exist,  Bizarre Guy?  Or maybe gay men don't exist in this universe, except in slurs.  But obviously Great T* likes it. 

Left: Big muscles, tight shirt.  Any questions?

"Just leave him!" Bizarre Guy yells.

"Ok."  She goes home to pack her stuff.  That was easy.

Scene 4: Sister/Daughter from Scene 2. is singing a silly song to the water she's pouring (yes, to the water) while old guy Harrison Ford rolls his eyes.  "It's too much water."  She must be volunteering in a nursing home, with Harrison Ford as the cantankerous geezer.  

No, it's the break room at the Cognitive Center.  Sister/Daughter is a fellow shrink, pouring her own water due to her "character quirk" of being health conscious. And thinking that water is sentient?

Bizarre Guy bursts in and confesses that he just told a patient what to do.  They are upset: this is against the rules of shrinking.

"We all know what they should do.  Why not just tell them?"  

"They have to figure it out for themselves."

After they criticize him some more, Bizarre Guy agrees to shrink patients "by the book" from now on.

Scene 5: Bizarre Guy is on his way out, when Sister/Daughter stops to flirt with him.  Ok, not his Sister/Daughter, his Flirtatious Coworker.  But why do the two characters look identical? 

After flirting, she gives him a referral: young soldier, just back from overseas, keeps assaulting people, and his parents are worried.  What about the victims and the police?  

Scene 6: Bizarre Guy starts the session with the Soldier (Luke Tennie) with "Why do you think you're here?"  It's cognitive-behavioral therapy, not psychoanalysis; give him some anger management strategies!

He waits for Soldier to open up, but nothing happens.  Finally Soldier walks out. I would, too.  Bizarre Guy yells "F*ck!"

Back at home, a new character named Tia is on the couch, watching wrestling.  Bizarre Guy thinks people who enjoy wrestling are insane (calling your wife/girlfriend insane will decrease your chance of being invited into her bed, dude).   He then turns into the pinching monster, and they end up smoooching.  

I thought he was single-- he invited ladies over last night, and he had the photo of his wife and sister/daughter turned over.  Maybe she's a new girlfriend?

Wait -- was this a flashback to back before his wife left him?  Geez, I hate flashbacks that aren't signaled in any way.

More after the break

Noah Beck: Shirtless Soccer Player, Too Soon Steve, and Jowsey's boyfriend's ex shows his d*ck to 33 million TikTok followers

N*de photos of Noah Beck have been sitting in my "to profile" folder for two months.  It's hard to get enthusiastic about profiling someone when you've never seen him in anything, and aren't even sure if he's an actor.  All I know is:

1. He appeared in a music video with the Zoey 101 gang, so there's a d*ck pic in the profile of Matthew Underwood.

2. He is the ex boyfriend of Harry Jowsey's boyfriend. 

That's not much to go on, but it's a really nice d*ck, so let's get started:

Instagram: Noah's taglines are  "Do what makes you happy" and "sideline the QB and me," so maybe he's a football player.  Or is dating a football player.

Posts show him boating, going to Disneyland, cooking, jumping on the bed, modeling a pink shirt, and telling us what he ate today (several times).

No pictures of men or women, at least not in the first two hundred posts.  That's usually a sign of gay identity, but we already know that he's gay from being Harry Jowsey's boyfriend's ex, so his Instagram is useful only for its beefcake images.

Wikipedia: Noah was born in 2001 in Peoria, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix, about 13 miles from downtown. He graduate from the Real Salt Lake Academy, which trains professional soccer players (presumably you take academic subjects, too); then he attended University of Portland for a year before dropping out due to COVID isolaiton.

He is a content creator, specializing in dances and humorous skits, with 33 million TikTok followers.

He also owns a gender-neutral underwear brand called Iphis (top photo).  In Greek mythology, Iphis is born female but raised as a man so she can take the throne.  When she falls in love with a woman, she is horrified by the "monstrous" lesbian desire, and asks the gods to make her a "real man."  They do.  Transgender affirmation, or a paeon to universal heterosexual desire?

The IMDB: Eight acting roles. 

Some music videos.

A guy who dumps his girlfriend on an episode of Side Hustle (2021).

A shirtless soccer player who flirts with a girl on an episode of Doogie Kamealoha MD (2023).

A more substantial role on an episode of Doctor Odyssey (2025): Steve (Noah)  looks uncomfortable when his buddy invites three bikini babes into their hot tub.  Just when you conclude that he's gay, it turns out that he suffers from a disorder that makes him...um...finish at the slightest stimulus: a big problem on a date or even when trying to meet a girl.

I've been with thousands of men, again and again.  They promise the moon.

They're always coming and going, and going and coming,

And always too soon -- Madeleine Kahn in Blazing Saddles

 Fortunately, it's an easy fix with medication that the doctor prescribes.

The full profile, with n*de photos, is on  RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: Harry Jowsey: New Zealand reality star, Boyfriend Dick Podcaster, Onlyfans n*de model, "Call me gay."

Matthew Underwood: The "Zoey 101" It-Boy Logan plays himself again and again...and again, posts d*ck pics. With bonus Noah Beck

Cody Kearsley: Metis actor with two gay roles, Moose Mason and a post-Apocalyptic zombie. Plus Cody and another Metis guy n*de

Bamm-Bamm's Muscles: Gay Promise on "The Flintstones"

Quick, name a cartoon character who came from outer space, was adopted by a human family, and has superpowers?

Right, Bamm-Bamm Rubble.

In an October 3rd, 1963 episode of The Flintstones, about "a modern prehistoric family," Betty and Barney Rubble are upset because they can't have children -- apparently Barney's sperm count is a little low.  They wish on a falling star, and the next morning a baby appears on their doorstep, asleep in a turtle shell, holding a club.

He can only say "Bamm-Bamm," so that becomes his name. He turns out to have superhuman strength, easily carrying furniture and tossing his adopted father around.

As a kid, I was intrigued by Bamm-Bamm's mysterious origin.  Could he be an alien -- a falling star could mean a UFO!  His white hair certainly looked alien.  And the superhuman strength surely meant super muscles!

I didn't see The Flintstones often, so I didn't notice that the writers failed to make much use of Bamm-Bamm's potential.  His supernatural origins were rarely mentioned, and his super-strength became little more than a comic nuisance.

No gay symbolism: in fact, he began expressing toddler heterosexual interest, mooning over toddler-next-door Pebbles, romancing her in baby-talk.  Eventually they were closing episodes by singing the treacly Sunday-school song "Open Up Your Heart (and Let the Sun Shine In)." Yuck.

In 1971, a highly publicized spin-off appeared, The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show (1971-72, and rerun long after).  With the characters as teenagers. 

But Bamm-Bamm dit not transform into Superboy.

He and Pebbles went to high school and belonged to a rock band, like everyone on Saturday morning in the 1970s.

No mysterous origin.  No superstrength.  He wasn't even built -- he had skinny arms and legs and a shapeless lump of a body.  

More after the break

"Best Foot Forward": Boy negotiates middle school with a prosthetic leg, a h*ng ad, a bodybuilder brother, a gay buddy, and no annoying girl-craziness

  

Link to the n*de dudes

We just dumped Peacock in favor of Apple Plus, so now we can watch Best Foot Forward (2022), based on childhood experiences of  "Paralympian, comedian, author, disability advocate, and Halloween enthusiast" Joshua Sundquist (underwear photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) 

Focus character Josh has been home schooled since he lost his left leg at age nine, but he finally convinces his parents to allow him to start seventh grade in public school.  He faces the standard junior high problems of friends, math tests, soccer practice, movie night, and school dances.

Josh is played by Logan Marmino, fifteen years old in 2025 and thinking about college.  Maybe Johns Hopkins?

He's an accomplished athlete, competing in Paralympics track and high school basketball and baseball.  Plus surfing and skateboarding. 

When showrunner Joshua Sundquist invited him to audition for Best Foot Forward, he had no acting experience, not even a school play.  And he doesn't really seem interested in an acting career -- he hasn't appeared in anything since. Sports and disability activism keep him busy.

While Josh is experiencing the joys and hassles of junior high, Dad and Mom (Stephen Schneider, left, Joy Suprano) have B plots of their own, like when they tried to order two pizzas, and accidentally ordered twenty. "Sometimes older people can't see the order screen very well," the delivery guy explains, to Mom's consternation.

Stephen Schneider may be best known for a five-minute long n*de fight scene in The Righteous Gemstones, but he has 37 acting credits on the IMDB, including three tv series reviewed here: You're the Worst, Broad City. and Nobody Wants This, 

Josh's younger brother Matt (Roger Dale Floyd) mostly tries to help, or feels left out when Josh gets all of the attention.

Roger Dale Floyd, 13 years old in 2025, has appeared in The Walking Dead, Doctor Sleep, Greenland, and Stranger Things.  He is a junior bodybuilder, interested in promoting fitness among teens and tweens. 

In Greenland (2020), Roger and his Mom and Dad (Gerard Butler) must flee cross-country to safety after a comet-Apocalypse.  Whoops, they forgot to bring his insulin. 

N*de Gerard Butler on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Josh makes two friends, Kyle (Peyton Jackson, left) and Gabriella (Trinity Jo-Li Bliss).

Peyton Jackson has 14 acting credits on the IMDB, most recently Pet Investigators (2025), about three teens who crack a pet-theft ring.  The baddies are played by former teen idols Sean Astin, David Faustino, and Corin Nemec, and the hunk by Mike Markoff (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

I have bad luck with junior high and high school comedies.  They invariably present their male characters as absurdly girl crazy, their every action designed to meet, impress, or win Girls! Girls! Girls!: "Let's join chess club -- there will be girls there!  Let's buy a new skateboard -- we can use it to get girls!  Let's jump out of an airplane -- maybe a girl will see us!"

I'm reviewing the "School Dance" episode with my "heteronormative erasure!" complaints ready.

Review after the break

Pontius Gemstone and the Boy Named Stacy

Link to the n*de photos and s*xual content

Note: In this story, Stacy and Pontius are both 19.

July 7, 2025:

Stacy woke slowly, his eyes gradually adjusting to the hospital room. The monitors on his left side, the nightstand with cards and books on the right.  The window that looked out onto the parking lot, with maybe a little green beyond.  A countertop loaded down with "Get Well" balloons.  Two chairs -- wait, there was a figure sitting in one.  His eyes weren't focused yet -- who was it, his brother?

"You're not here to tell me how lucky I am, are you?  Another inch, and the bullet would have hit my aorta, and I would have bled out before the paramedics arrived?  God was watching over me?"

"Hell, no."  Stacy recognized the voice...but...the guy slid his chair over to the bed with a loud screech.  His friend Pontius!  Well, not really a friend -- Stacy had seen him on tv and at the Salvation Center, of course, but they didn't really meet until he started going to the skate park last month, and they had only spoken a few times..   "I'm here to tell you to get well, so I can get back to watching you wipe out your *ss on the tail slides. "

"Har-har, big joke.  Dude, you know you're a wannabe mobber.  Just wait til I get back to that skatepark."  He hadn't realized how much he missed skating, and jamming about skating.

Pontius grabbed Stacy's free hand and pressed it against his own.  "I brought you some chocolate Turtles, 'cause you know, you're into reptiles, working at the Gator Farm, but they accidentally got eaten in the car on the way over."

"Jackass!" 

He laughed.  Stacy felt surprisingly happy to see him. His brash, no-nonsense attitude was the perfect remedy to a week of "God had his hand on you!"

"I wanna know what it was like to work for Jeffrey Dahmer.  Did Cobb like, give you body parts to feed to the gators?"

"It was weird.  I liked working at the Gator Farm. Cobb was so nice to me, always asking about my classes and the Salvation Center, and and all the time he was killing people, and he kept that guy Big Dick as a slave, like five feet from where I was mopping the floor."

"Yeah, dude, if you knew, you could have splattered the mother-f*cker!"  

"Hey, do you think he was asking so many questions because he was keeping tabs on your Grandad?"  

"Probably.  Seems like every year, some guy pops up with a grudge against my Grandad, the World Famous Eli Gemstone or whatever."  He reached up and squeezed Stacy's left shoulder.  "Does this hurt?'

"No.  I was shot in my right..."

"How about this?"  He moved his hand down to Stacy's crotch and squeezed.

"Hey, knock it off!"

"Just checking to see if your junk still works. Scoot over."  Pontius slid onto the bed next to him, so their thighs and legs were touching, and grabbed the tv remote.  "You get any p*rn on this thing?" 

"I don't think you're supposed to do that." 

"So call a nurse and complain."  

Stacy had never sat pressed against someone before, except maybe his brother when they were little.  He dated a couple of girls, back before he figured out that he was gay, but they never did any hugging, just handshakes and goodnight pecks.  He had been with two guys, but they were just hookups, don't say hello in the hallway the next day.  Was this what having a boyfriend felt like? Were they cuddling?  

Wait -- wasn't Pontius straight?

Pontius was casually clicking on the remote as if the closeness didn't bother him at all. Flustered, Stacy tried to think of something simple to talk about. "Did you know that your Grandad visits me every day?  Your brother Gideon has been by, and Kelvin.."

Uh-oh, Pontius took that as an accusation.  "I would have come before, but I've been busy.  Gideon is starting a new Christian-themed skatepark.  I'm going to be the manager"  He stopped on Spongebob Squarepants, then put down the remote and took Stacy's hand.  Their fingers interlocked.

They watched in silence for a few minutes.

"This is nice," Stacy said.

Pontius started to blush, a reddening in his neck and face.  "Yeah, well, touching a dude is good for healing, or some New Age bullshit." 

He had a thin, tight frame, small hard biceps, some cool tattoos, and the most beautiful hands.  Why had Stacy never thought of asking him out?  

Reason #1: Stacy was a straight-A student at the College of Charleston, a biology major, planning to become a herpetologist. And Pontius was kind of a screw-up.  Fun to hang out with, but no goals, no future.  Wait -- managing a Christian-themed skate park?  

Reason #2: Wasn't he straight?

"I've seen this episode," Pontius complained.  Let's find some chicks, or some dudes."  He clicked until he found a soap opera with a shirtless hunk sitting on a couch. "Awright! Check out those pecs! Man, I'd love to be working on those."

"I thought you were...you know...you like girls."

The full story, with n*de photos and ex*plicit situations, is on RB Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: Jackson Tessmer: from Hebrew School to toga parties, with angst tv, Christian drama, Asa Butterfield, and n*de selfies

Pontius Gemstone, the Boy Named Stacy, and the E*rotic Alphabet

"Dad Can't Know I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Romance, with a special appearance from Pontius and Stacy

"My Three Gay Sons and...ugh...Vance Simkins": A Jesse Gemstone Adventure

Gavin Munn's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 4: A boy and his bully, a boy and his stuntman, Kelton Dumont, a selfie, and Santa Claus

Link to the n*de photos

This is a collection of cute/cool photos of Gavin Munn, who plays Jonathan on Raising Dion and Abraham on The Righteous Gemstones.  He's under 18, so no n*de photos of Gavin, but I may have included some of his costars and friends.

1. A boy and his Mom.

2. In Dear Santa (2024), a dyslexic boy writes a letter to Santa Claus, but it accidentally goes to Satan (Jack Black), who appears to help him gain self-confidence, best a bully, and win the Girl.  Gavin plays the bully.  

I don't know why he needs a mannequin.  Does Satan, like, shoot him out of a cannon?

3. In case you want to see Satan and Santa Claus at the beach.  That's actually Kyle Gass, who plays a science teacher.

4. A boy and his fish.

5. A boy and his boat.

More after the break

"Blood Legacy": "Succession" in South Africa, with rich people, dark secrets, a downlow gay romance, and n*de Zulu guys

 

After the South African tease of Honest Men, I wanted some real South African tv, so I turned on Blood Legacy (2024), a Netflix series about siblings fighting for control of Daddy's empire (sounds familiar).

Scene 1: Establishing shot of the docks.  A man being beat up.  He won't sign the paper, so they call in a White-Haired Man, Bheki, while a Bearded Man and a Pink-Haired Woman watch. 

 But "I cannot be broken, because I come from the struggle, a struggled you and I once shared. But you left me behind." Tired of listening to the speech, Pink-Hair shoots him.

Cut to the funeral, with the White-Haired Man delivering the eulogy.  Widow and adult children, two men and a woman, hold hands. 

Scene 2: Establishing shot of Durban.  White-Haired Man in a helicopter watches an interview program with economics journalist Khanyi.   "We need transparency and accountability." 

 "But doesn't your family own Spear, the most corrupt company in Africa?"    

When the broadcast ends, Khanyi yells "Don't ever ask about my f*king family again!" and stomps off.

Scene 3: At work in Cape Town. Sean (Michael Everson) tells Khanyi that the Scene 1 murder has been linked to White Haired Man, her estranged father.  

She tells him to "F*k off!" and stomps away.

Scene 4: Akin (Anthony Oseyemi), a poor immigrant, wants to bail out his daughter, but the corrupt cops won't let him, not even when he tries to speak Xhosa.  Khanyi shows up and threatens to do a news story on how corrupt they are, and they agree to let the daughter go.  Then she tells Akin how sexy he is and kisses him.  Presumably they've met before.

Daughter trashed her teacher's classroom because he made a bigoted comment.  Dad and Khanyi tell her to not make waves.

Scene 5: White Haired Guy's wife complains that he hasn't been eating or sleeping since he was connected with that murder.  Gee, I wonder why.

Cut to Khanyi and boyfriend and daughter discussing whether she should go see White-Haired Man  She hates him, but he sounds sick over the telephone, sothis may be her last chance. "Plus you can see your brother and Njabulo," Boyfriend's Daughter points out.

Meanwhile, Older Brother Mandla (Buyile Mdladla) complains to White Haired Guy that the company is going under because of him. Their contractors are cancelling.  They can't start the Very Important Project. "Tough.  I hate you. Get out!"

Old Brother storms out and calls his daughter to make sure the private jet is ready for his flight to Cape Town.  "Nope, White-Haired Guy reserved it for your sister Khanyi. She's flying in today."

"F*k!" he yells.  He hates flying commercial, and he hates Khanyi!

Scene 6: Khanyi arrives in the private jet. Older Brother calls: "Why the heck are you here!  You hate the family, and we hate you!" 

"Dad called.  He sounded sick, so this might be the last time I can see him."

"He's fine.  Besides, you hate him."

Scene 7: Younger Brother Siya (Mike Ndlangamandla) has his hair stroked by his wife while telling his son (Unathi Mkizhe) that he forgives him for flying the drone in the house, "Just don't do it again."  And they got him a diamond status credit card.  Some punishment.  

More after the break

Ansel Pierce: "Duster" Baby Face and "Euphoria" Big D*ck, with Rar Boy, Chubby Guy, and West Hollywood digressions

Link to the n*de dudes

In Duster Episode 1.4, 1970s mob driver Jim Ellis (why not name him Duster?) and the boss's Probably Gay Son (Josh Holloway, Benjamin Charles Watson) are transporting Howard Hughes' car across the Arizona desert, when they almost crash into a car being driven by two guys who aren't named, so I'll call them Rat Boy and Baby Face (left).  

They look like  Mormon missionaries, but their bumper sticker says "Vacuums suck," so they may be salesmen. 

Jim/Duster and Probably Gay Son stop at Floyd's Gas and Go, and the guys follow.  Ulp, their trunk is filled with guns, cables, ropes, and baseball bats embedded with spikes.  They're baddies!  While Jim/Duster is occupied with an unrelated assassination attempt, the Mormon missionary-baddies beat up the mechanic and the Probably Gay Son, and steal the car!   

Jim/Duster and his assassin-turned-ally track them down and kill them, Baby Face with a knife to his head (through an open car window while they're driving side by side), and Rat Boy with a shot in the back.

We learn no more about the characters, but I wanted to research the actors, especially Baby Face.

Rat Boy is played by Garrett Young, who has 13 acting credits on IMDB, including Timid Pimps, Other People's Heads (where he played a head), and Chicago Justice/Med/Fire. 

As a stage actor, he has appeared in John Proctor is the Villain on Broadway, Clyde's, and The Oresteia.  

His Instagram has the "no women," "a lot of hugging guys," and "world's best uncle" gay codes until you get to the very end, where there are a lot of photos of his wife and kid.

On to Baby Face.

We've seen him before -- a lot of him.  He is Ansel Wolf Pierce, best known as Caleb, a recurring character in Euphoria Season 2, and particularly for the house party scene in Episode 2.1: Cassie is hiding in the bathtub when he comes in and sits on the toilet, revealing...omg, that thing is huge!  Noticing her, he apologizes: "You're really hot but I still gotta take a sh*t."  She doesn't mind.

I repeat: OMG,  that thing is huge!

We see his backside, too, but who was paying attention to that?

Plus Ansel has a social media presence, for a change.

A "versatile young talent making waves in the world of modeling and acting" (and d*cks), he graduated from Fossil Ridge High School in Fort Collins, Colorado, in 2018, then studied business at the University of Colorado.  

While he was in college, a photographer noticed him (and his d*ck) and invited him to L.A. for a fashion shoot.  He decided that modeling would be his career.

Today Ansel is represented by Wilhelmina Models, where he is listed as 6'2", waist 38, shoe size 12, d*ck size  -- well, we already know about that.

More after the break

Johnny Berchtold: I have good news and bad news. The good news is his d*ck

 Link to the n*de dudes

I researched Johnny Berchtold, who plays the gay-vague or maybe canonically gay college student Richard Beck on Season 3 of Reacher.   

I have good news and bad news.

The good news: He is huge.

 

The bad news: The d*ck pic is from the movie A Hard Problem (2021).  Johnny plays a guy who tries to reconnect with his sister and recruits The Girl to help him clean out his deceased mother's house. Heteronormativity all the way down.

The good news:  In addition to Reacher, Johnny has a gay-vague role in  The Passenger (2023). Violent loose-cannon Benson (Kyle Gallner) decides to "fix" beset-upon fast-food worker  Randy (Johnny), killing his bullies, helping him stand up to his overbearing mother, and so on.

The script was heteronormative, but queer director Carter Smith had the actors push up the homoeroticism until they are almost a gay couple.  (Spoiler: one dies at the end).

The bad news: I couldn't find any other gay or gay-vague roles.

In Tiny Pretty Things (2023), his character is married to Claire (Katherine Hahn of Agatha All Along).

In spite of the whimsical pun-title, Dog Gone (2023) is about a dying guy and his dog, who is also dying.  He's probably straight, but I'm not sure: the plot synopsis was so disturbing that I just skimmed through.

In Gaslight (2021), which is about Watergate, not Victorian England, Johnny plays Jay Jennings, the estranged son of Martha Mitchell (wife of Attorney General John Mitchell).  He is married to a woman.

In spite of the whimsical title,  Life as a Mermaid (2016-2018) is a live-action drama about two mermaid sisters living among humans.  Johnny plays the Barnacle King, sort of a nerdish character with disgusting barnacles attached to his face.  He has a male sidekick, but I couldn't stomach watching long enough to determine if he is gay or gay-vague.

Fun fact: Life as a Mermaid is also a documentary about transgender people in Borneo.

The good news: Johnny is way into horror.  His instagram is full of photos of him in bloody and monster makeup, and getting Chucky as a roommate.  

More after the break