Jackson Tessmer: From Hebrew School to toga parties, with angst tv, Christian drama, Asa Butterfield, and n*de selfies

 

Link to the n*de photos

Jackson Tessmer was born in Hermosa Beach, California, about 20 miles south of West Hollywood.  When he was a teenager, he moved to Inverness, Florida, where he graduated from Citrus High School in 2022.

He was a swimmer and powerlifter, winning first place in the Orlando Open Championships in 2022 with a bench of 170 and a deadlift of 211.  Sorry, I couldn't find any powerlifting photos.

He was also very busy with Hebrew School and  temple activities.  It's a wonder that he had time to go on auditions.

Jackson's on-screen acting credits begin with a series of shorts: Show and Tell (2013), Birthday Boy (2014),  Table Manners (2015).  He starred with Michael Berthold in Dear Ones (2014), On Your Street (2016), and Ranger Things (2017).

Plus walk-ons in Tomorrowland (2015) with George Clooney, Modern Family (2016) with Mitch dressed as Little Orphan Annie, and Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016), with Asa Butterfield 

Jackson's first starring role came in Schoolbus Diaries (2016-17), with "the everyday lives of children and teenagers" mediated by their surprisingly wise bus driver. 

No Place in the World (2017) is a Christian movie featuring two sisters with problems at home and school, "trying to survive in a disconnected, self-centered world."  I'll bet they find God.  Jackson seems to play a school shooter.

I can't find the tv series Mohawk (2018) streaming anywhere, but Jackson's demo reel shows his father, who has just crucified someone, punching and strangling him.  He's saved by the spirit of a Native American woman.

Paradise Lost (2018) is another show that is impossible to find on streaming services. All I can figure out is a guy (Josh Hartnett) and his wife and kids returning to his home town to confront the demons of his past. Jackson plays his son. Shane McRae plays Dickie Barnett, his enemy.

More after the break

Sal Mineo: The First Gay Teen Idol

I saw Sal Mineo for the first time on an episode of My Three Sons. His character, Jim Bell, tries to convince college-age Robbie Douglas (Don Grady) to run away with him for a life of freedom and adventure.

Since I was already convinced that Robbie liked boys, not girls, in spite of his marriage to Katie (Tina Cole), it was easy to see Robbie trying to choose between heterosexist "normalcy" and embracing the wild passionate love of men for men.

But I didn't realize at the time that Sal Mineo was gay in real life, or that Don Grady knew it, and didn't mind.

Born in 1939, Sal was only sixteen when he starred as Plato, the gay-coded kid who develops a crush on James Dean's Jim Stark in the Boomer classic Rebel without a Cause (1955).

When James Dean died two weeks before the premiere of Rebel, he became a myth; Sal Mino lived, and had to negotiate the tricky terrain of being gay and a teen idol in the 1950s.

Except for his role as the aggressively girl-crazy Angelo Barrato in Rock, Pretty Baby (1957) with John Saxon, he selected covertly homoerotic projects: his characters mooned over a teen gang leader (played by John Cassavetes) in Crime in the Streets (1956), and fell in love-at-first-sight with an ex-con (played by James Whitmore) in The Young Don't Cry (1957).  Even in the Disney Western Tonka (1958), his Native American bonded with a horse rather than a girl.

In 1957, Sal started a musical career, but his records charted poorly, in spite of teen magazine acclaim.  He was a competent performer, and staggeringly handsome in a field where looks were everything, and he might have become a prominent musician, except for the rumors that were emerging in the yellow press.

To establish himself as heterosexual, Sal made the rounds of Hollywood hot spots with teen starlets, and he began putting his barbell-toned physique on display in every performance.  His screen characters became heterosexual, but their practices were oddly organized around triangulations.

In The Gene Krupa Story (1959), drummer Gene Krupa (Sal) goes to New York along with his best buddy Eddie Sirota (teen idol James Darren, soon to star in Time Tunnel) to make it big in the Roaring Twenties jazz scene.  Gene gets a girlfriend, then a wife, Eth (Susan Kohner), but Eddie does not; he is perfectly content to be a third wheel, making do with an occasional sultry look.

More after the break

Daryl Sabara: Juni grows up, fights cannibals, bikers, and Satanists, and show his stuff, but I'm still depressed

Link to the Daryl and Antonio Banderas n*de photos

Spy Kids (2001) stars gay actor Antonio Banderas (left) and Carla Gugino as a husband and wife spy team.  Well, actually, their son and daughter, Juni and Carmen (Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega), who get swept up in an age-appropriate diabolical plot involving tv host Fegan Floop (Alan Cummings, who is bisexual in real life).   

Although everyone is ostensibly heterosexual, some reviews call the film a queer classic due to the extremely hot Dad -- and Mom, apparently, which led to the "queer awakening" of an entire generation of lesbians; the shy, bullied, gay-coded Juni; the kick-ass Carmen; and the gay-coded villain who turns out to be not all that villainous.

There were 3 sequels:

Spy Kids: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002) strands Juni and Carmen on a Jules Verne-Dr. Moreau "mysterious island," where they run afoul of a mad scientist creating animal hybrids.  Carmen gets a boyfriend, but Juni remains gay-coded.

I didn't see Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003) where Juni must venture into a video game to save his sister, but the queer coding ends with him meeting The Girl.  He also meets two guys, video game teammates Ryan Pinkston and Bobby Edner.

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

The 2011 Spy Kids: All the Time in the World minimized Juni and Carmen in favor of a new sibling team.  The brother is played by Mason Cook, who would go on to Speechless.

During the Spy franchise, Daryl Sabara appeared in the usual one-shot tv spots: Will and Grace, Fatherhood, House, American Dragon: Jake Long, and so on.

He has a starring role in the animated lion-drama Father of the Pride (2004-05) as Hunter, a shy, anxiety-ridden Lord of the Rings nerd. That is, basically Juni as a lion.  In one episode, his grandfather Sarmoti thinks that he is gay, or as the fan wiki says, "homosexual; but this is absolutely not true."  Rather homophobic, aren't you, fan wiki?

In a 2006 episode of Criminal Minds,  Daryl plays a teenager who charges men to watch him make videos.  So he has an OnlyFans site?  The agents convince him that what he is doing constitutes prostitution, and will put him in danger from predators.  It is all presented as extremely sleazy, and one can't help but conclude that being gay is always seedy and sordid.  

Normal Adolescent Behavior (2007) is an anti-hookup cautionary tale,with no gay content: three girls and three guys in a friendship group pair off randomly.  Daryl appears as Nathan, who crushes on the mother of one of the girls. Ugh.

Raviv Ullman, formerly Phil of the Future, plays one of the guys in the friendship group.

Next Daryl played Tim Scottson in 7 episodes of Weeds (2005-12), about suburban marijuana growers. He shot his stepmother Nancy Botwin because he assumed that she was responsible for his father's death, but she recovered and hired him as her assistant.

Worst. Prom. Ever. (2011) has Daryl planning the perfect prom for his girlfriend, but when her two friends tag along, things go crazy, with a car crash, armed thugs, Satanists, and an amorous lady biker.

In The Green Inferno (2013), some student activists go to the Peruvian jungle for ecological stuff, and are captured by cannibal tribe.  

A cannibal tribe?  I thought the "spear-throwing savages" trope went out with Johnny Quest. But at least the guy dragging Daryl toward the cooking pot has nice abs and a basket.

Daryl gets a girlfriend and shows his stuff before being eaten.

More Daryl after the break

Bill Cable: 1980s gay model and video performer, boyfriend of Elvira and Pee-Wee Herman, the rock star in "Basic Instinct."

  Link to the N*de Dudes

If you grew up in a heteronormative desert, like most gay boys in the 1970s, with n*de and even shirtless guys vanishingly rare in magazines, movies, and tv, West Hollywood in the 1980s was a Paradise.  You could buy a dozen glossy, full-color magazines aimed at gay men with every conceivable taste and interest:

Drummer for leather

Blueboy for dating advice

Mandate for muscle

In Touch for humor 

Inches for...well, you get the idea.

All of them were illustrated by full-page and centerfold photos of men, artistic or not, always n*de, sometimes more.

You saw this guy everywhere, but probably didn't realize that Cable, Stoner, and Bigg John were all the same model.  Now we know.

He was Bill Cable, born William  Laurence Cumpanas in northern Indiana in 1946. His grandparents were from Dalmatia (now part of Croatia), and he grew up with a strong sense of his Croatian identity,   

His family moved to Los Angeles in 1950.  He played football at North Hollywood High School and the University of Nevada, but a  massive head injury forced him to quit.  In 1970, he returned Los Angeles to pursue a new career as a model.

Bill modeled in all of the famous gay magazines of the 1970s and 1980s, plus gay pictorials for Colt Studios and The Athletic Model Guild.  

He also appeared in straight pictorials, mainstream fashion ads, and the influential After Dark magazine.  And in gay postcards, which you bought with no intention of actually mailing.

He posed for Playgirl three times, for:

"Long Cool Summer" (July 1973)

Victoriana (November 1974)

"Beauty and the Beast" (May 1975)

Bill's movie career began with a non-speaking role as a leatherman in the gay  Bijou (1972).  Next came some collaborations with straight director Carlos Tobalina: Last Tango in Acapulco (1973), Jungle Blue (1978), and Flesh and Bullets (1985).

Sometime in the early 1970s, Bill and Carlos wrote, directed, and starred in  What's Love (restored in 1987), "which deals with the themes of romantic obsession and Christian blasphemy."  From what I can tell from the various plot synopses, Carlos plays a cop who gets in touch with a magical self.  Bill as Jesus sleeps with him and his wife. 

More after the break

"Solar Opposites": Skyler Gisondo and Kieran Culkin as a human and an alien bat-monster in love

  

Solar Opposites is an animated sitcom about a family of sentient slugs that crash-landed on Earth and must look for a way home while adapting to bizarre human customs like gender polarization.

Link to the NSFW version

  Korvo (Justin Roilland/Dan Stevens) is the "man of the house," resistant to assimilation; Terry (Thomas Middleditch) is the childcare expert, who eagerly adopts human culture;  Yumyulak (Sean Giambone), the teenage boy, a rebel who hates humans; and a teenage girl and pupa (infant).  

But this is a review of an episode where no one in the family appears except in flashbacks.  

Episode 4.9, "Down and Out on Planet X-Non," stars Glenn (Kieran Culkin, left), the family's snoopy neighbor, who got blasted into space.  He joined the SilverCops Space Force, but they framed him for murder.  He had to flee into the wilderness of an alien planet, fighting monsters and nearly dying many times.  And now his story continues in what seems to be the pilot for a spin-off.

Scene 1: After having an "expositional dream," Glenn awakens in a run-down office, naked.  Zy (Skyler Gisondo, top photo), a muscular being with a bat-head, found him in the wilderness, half-dead.  "What were you doing all alone in the woods?"

Glenn jokes.  "I got a thing for trees.  Why am I n*aked?"

"Your clothes were soaked" 

Zy infers that he has a "secred, f*cked-up past," so he'll be perfect for their group of multi-species thieves and con-men.  

Glen tries to leave, but outside the door, beings are robbing and killing each other, so he decides to stay.  First queer code; Zy puts his hand on Glenn's shoulder and leaves it there.

Scene 2: The tour.  Most of the group has holograms on their chest, which means "they need extra help." 

"But I don't have a hologram on my chest," Glenn complains.

"I'm sure you have a hologram in your heart."  Awww..getting a little crush on this human, Zy?

Second queer code: Hand on shoulder again.  Third queer code: Again.  Gee, Zy can't keep his hands off Glenn.

Scene 3:  Interview with the group leader, Skeletom, a hippie dude with a glowing green skeleton. Played by Daveed Diggs.

 He explains: "This place is for people who don't fit in."  Island of Misfit Toys, huh?  Queer code #3.  "No one else has our backs, so we have to be family to each other."

Scene 4: Glenn, Zy, a cat-being, and a Cthulhu-being on a scam run. Zy explains that the 'Raffs (sentient giraffes) took over and pushed the indigenous population into slums, using SilverCops to break heads:  "They claim they're keeping the peace, but they're racist as hell, and they play the natives against each other."  Cthulhu Lives Matter.  

Uh-oh, their last victim called the SilverCops.  Run!  Hiding in an alley, they discuss how much they hate the Sils.  And Glenn is one!  If they find out, he'll lose their friendship -- or worse.

More after the break

Blake Michael: The "Dog with a Blog" brother starts a band, stalks a teacher, vanishes into corporate. With Blake and Dano d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I haven't been watching Disney Channel programs regularly since the days of Hannah Montana, so all I heard of Dog with a Blog (2012-15) was buzz about how ridiculous the premise was: three kids discover that their dog is sentient, can talk, and actually has a blog where he discusses his experiences and tries to find other dogs.  How is that more ridiculous than a pop star pretending to be a regular girl, both daughters of a famous country-western music singer, and no one suspecting for an instant?

Critics lambasted the show for its "lackluster writing' and absence of any actual blogging, but it averaged 3 million viewers in the first season, and was nominated for three Emmies.  The main players appear to be Chloe and Avery, two tween sisters from a blended family, but there was also a teenage brother, Tyler (Blake Michael).

Plus Dad Bennett (Regan Burns) and Avery's enemy/crush (L.J. Benet), who now has abs but smiling smugly as girls in bikinis surround him. 

Besides, I haven't found any n*de photos of L.J.  But there are some of Blake.

Blake got his start in modeling at age three, and had his first on-screen role at age eight, playing a restaurant patron in Chosen (2004).  Small parts in October Road, Out of Jimmy's Head, and The Mortician followed.

He had a starring role in Lemonade Mouth (2011), which I never saw because I thought the term referred to some kind of terminal cancer.  It's actually the name of a bad that five high schoolers who start a band -- I guess disgusting names are de rigeur for rock bands.  The boys are Charlie (Blake) and Wen (Adam Hicks).  Both get girlfriends, and the remaining girl gets a boyfriend, and so on, and so on.  Heteronormativity fulfilled. 

Sorry, this is the only photo I could find where the two guys are together, not bookending the three girls.

More after the break

Kelton Dumont's Hot Photos, Part 2: Orson Welles, James Dean, Bam-Bam Rubble, and a n*de Pontius

 

Link to the n*de photos

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of actor Kelton Dumont, best known as Pontius in The Righteous Gemstones.  As far as I know, he's over 18 in all but #2.  There are also some photos of his dad James and a few friends. 

1. "Punching or licking.  Your choice."

2. Boating at dusk. I like the cityscape in the background.

3. Kelton playing Orson Welles in a Halloween broadcast of War of the Worlds. Why do you need to be in costume for a radio play?

4. Pontius is interrupted in media res

4. Back to War of the Worlds. Burgers with the rest of the cast.

5. A random photo with no connection to anyone in War of the Worlds, especially not the drama major on the left.

 6. James in Red

More Kelton, and maybe more James, after the break

A classic gay-subtext romance in "Godzilla v. Kong: A New Empire." Plus some p*enises, of course.

 

Link to the p*enises

For Movie Night this week, we saw Godzilla v. Kong: The New Empire (2024).

I didn't actually understand what was going on most of the time:

There was a Hollow Earth, which you can only get to through a space warp.

A Lost Civilization that predates anything on the surface, where people communicate through telepathy and use crystals to manipulate matter and antimatter.

A Chosen One.

A tribe of giant apes that live next to a volcano, and keep a giant glowing stegasaurus captive.  King Kong joins them, becomes their leader after fighting an evil dude, and adopts a baby ape.

Another giant stegasaurus, which fights King Kong in Egypt and takes out the Great Pyramid of Giza.

Nearby Cairo is an Orientalist myth instead of a modern city with skyscrapers and Starbucks.  

Is that a gay couple?

A giant glowing moth.

A fight between the two dinosaurs and two apes that takes out Rio de Janiero.

I guess you just have to say "Look!  Monsters fighting!"

Five people go to the Hollow Earth to check on Disturbances in the Force or something.

1. Mikael (Alex Fern, top photo), the driver of the transport vehicle, who gets eaten by a man-eating plant right away.  

2. Ilene Andrews, an expert on the Iwi Culture of Skull Island, where King Kong lived before he moved to the Hollow Earth.

3. Her adopted daughter Ji, the last of her tribe, who doesn't speak.

4. Tripper (Dan Stevens, left), a roguish, devil-may-care monster veterinarian.  

5. Conspiracy theory podcaster Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry).

When Tripper shows up, you assume he's going to be smooching with Ilene by fadeout.  That's what happens in 300,000 action adventure movies, right?  

Nope.  He mentions that they were friends in college, but gives no hint of a past or present relationship. Instead, he starts flirting with Podcaster Bernie, who is suspicious at first but warms up to him.

They hug.

More after the break

"#1 Happy Family USA": Muslim teenager in 2001 deals with crushes, dr*gs, wacky parents, and the FBI. With gay characters and d*cks

 

After 9/11, Islamophobic h* ate crimes in the U.S. increased by 4,000%.  Everyone who was Muslim, Middle Eastern, or vaguely brown-skinned was automatically assumed to be a t*errorist. At the airport, after you went through the usual TSA search, they picked "random" people for a secondary search at the gate.  I had a beard, and was picked at "random" every single time until the beard came off.

Ramy Youssef, who previously starred in Ramy, about his spiritual journey as a Muslim, draws on his "childhood nightmares" after 9/11 for #1 Happy Family USA.  He negotiates losing his friends, being under constant surveillance, and dealing with his crazy parents and older sister.  Oh, and it's a comedy.  I reviewed Episode 1.4, "Egypt is on the Phone."

Scene 1: Rumi (Rami Youssef) is awakened by his parents yelling that his uncle and aunt in Egypt are on the phone.  They want him to go first, to get the terrible things happening in his life over with before his sister Mona describes her perfect life. 

Scene 2: School cafeteria.  Is that a gay couple or some dudebros?  

Rumi criticizes his friend Marcus (Chris Redd) for going to a Pokemon convention instead of to Courtney's pool party.  He doesn't actually want to date Courtney: she's the sun, he would be dissolved by her beauty.  But he can restore his popularity to its pre-9/11 level by going to her party, impressing her with his wit and charm, and getting added to her friend list. 

Left: Chris Redd.  Rumi's other friends are Dev (Akaash Singh) and Garrett (Whitmer Thomas, bottom photo)

Uh-oh, Courtney (Paul Elia) tells Rumi that he can't go to the party because "we need to heal," ad he will just make them uncomfortable: "Thanks for understanding, and please tell Islam not to k* ill me."

His friends think that is harsh. Even Garrett, who has "major cat strangler energy," is invited.

Scene 3: Rumi is called to the guidance counselor's office, where the counselor has him under surveillance, and heard his conversation with Courtney.  He suggests that Rumi could get back into the social sphere by crashing the party, and "bring dr*gs." 

Scene 4: Rumi is preparing to work with his Dad ( Ramy Youssef) on the food cart.  Dad gives him the suitable topics of discussion with customers: basketball, apples, bananas, but not melons -- "very h*omosexual."  I thought melons were ladies' body parts.  "Every conversation you have is about melons!" Does Dad think that Rumi is gay?  

FBI Agent Dan, who moved in across the street to put the family under surveillance, drops by, depressed about his ex.  He creepily offers to drive them into the City.  Dad starts screaming in terror, but has no choice.  

While he is packing up, FBI Agent Dan asks Rumi about his teacher, Miss Malcolm.  Uh-oh, Rumi has a crush on her, and now Dan has a date with her tomorrow night!  He wants to borrow Rumi's jersey, because she is a basketball fan.  

More after the break