I go to the first Gay Rights March in the State of Iowa, with Thomas the Episcopal Priest and Mickey the Muscle

  

Link to NSFW version

June 1982, after my junior year at Augustana College.  Thomas, the former Episcopalian priest who I met with my ex-boyfriend Fred last year, calls to invite me to Des Moines for the first Gay Rights March in Iowa. 

I have never heard of such a thing.

"We march to protest police harassment, discrimination in jobs and housing, sodomy laws, that sort of thing.  They have them in cities all over the country.  It's always close to June 28th, the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots."

I have never heard of the Stonewall Riots, either.  But count me in.

June 27th, 8:00 pm: Thomas, his lover (in those days it was always "lover," not "partner"),  six other gay men, and two lesbians sit on folding chairs and on the floor in his rec room, making banners: "Stop Gay Police Harassment,"  "We Are Your Children," "Gay is Good," "Gay People are People Too."  

"Maybe not the catchiest slogans," Thomas tells me, "But idea is to get the word "gay" out there, to let the straights know that there are gay people even in Iowa."

I sit next to Mickey, the only other guy my age, a grad student in Russian at the University of Iowa: short, tan heavily muscled, very attractive, with dirty blond hair and a round boyish face.  We chat a bit, but don't exchange any personal information -- in those days you were circumspect, even among other gay people.

Thomas walks around the room, looking at each of the guys.  Finally he stops in front of me and Mickey. "I want you guys to take first place, with the banner that says ;Gay is Good.'  We want some muscle out front, to show the straights that we're not all weak little sissies."

Mickey grins.  "Up for being partners?"

Marching at the front, coming out to the whole state?  "Um...well, what if one of my professors sees me on the news?  I could get expelled."

Thomas laughs.  "Don't worry, there won't be any tv cameras, or newspaper reporters.  The media ignores us.  We might get a write-up in The Daily Planet."  Drake University's student-run alternative paper.

I am still nervous, but more gay guys than I've ever seen in one place are looking at me, so:  "Ok, I'm in."

We move to the living room for sodas and snacks, and go over the plan:  Tomorrow at 1:30, we meet at Western Gateway Park in downtown Des Moines.  Dress casually, but nothing flamboyant, no leather or drag.  At 2:00 pm we walk the 13 blocks east on Grand Avenue to City Hall.  Forty gay men and lesbians have signed up, so we will march with a banner followed by six people walking three abreast, then another banner, and so on.

We discuss what to do if someone tries to engage, if someone attacks, if we have to scatter -- and if we are arrested.  We have a parade permit, so the police should be cooperative, but you never know.

Then Mickey and the other townies go home, and the out of town visitors bed down for the night.  It's  crowded: the two bedrooms are full, and four of us get sleeping bags on the living room floor (nothing erotic happens).

June 28th, 11:00 am:  Mickey and the other townies arrive for a brunch of pancakes, scrambled eggs,and sausages.  I'm slightly disappointed; I was expecting quiche and mimoses, the sort of gay cuisine I read about in The Advocate.

Mickey is wearing one of thse mesh half t-shirts popular at the time, with his pecs and shoulders visible behind the sheer mesh stuff, and your abs were completely exposed.  They only work if you have a perfect body.  A centimeter less than perfection, and they look stupid.  He doesn't look stupid.

After some discussion, Thomas decides that, although the t-shirt is hot, it's too flamboyant, and asks him to change into an Iowa Hawkeyes t-shirt.  "It's a football team," he explains.  "Turning Mickey into a wholesome all-American jock, the kind of boy you want your son to date."  Everyone laughs.

More Mickey after the break

Willie Aames: Charles in Charge's Buddy shows his willie, becomes Bibleman and a platinum-selling author

 

Link to the n*de photos

According to his IMBD biography, Willie Aaames is an award winning, Platinum-selling writer and producer/director and a 6-star cruise ship director. How does a book go platinum? But he's best known for showing the world his d*ck

He started appearing on screen at the age of 11, with guest spots in The Courtship of Eddie's Father, The Odd Couple, Adam's Rib, Adam-12, and The Waltons.

A starring role in Swiss Family Robinson (1975-76), which adds paranormal peril to the ill-fated island.

120 episodes of the sappy drama Eight is Enough (1977-81), as Tommy Bradford, the second-to-youngest son,  whose shtick was being absurdly amorous, sneaking into the girls' locker room and so on, until he got his girlfriend pregnant and married her.

This led to the dreadful Zapped! (1982), with the nerd Barney (Scott Baio) getting telekinetic powers, and apparently using them to look up girls' skirts.  Willie played his best friend.

And Charles in Charge (1982-90), as Buddy, the bodybuilding best buddy of the college student turned male nanny.  His scene consisted of "Charles!  There's this party tonight, with GIRLS!!!  We can meet GIRLS!!!,", and Charles responding, "I can't go, I have to stay home and watch these two teenage girls, one of whom is my age, so why she needs a nanny is beyond me."

And Paradise (1982), a knockoff of Blue Lagoon, with none of the scintillating dialogue or intriguing plot (ok, I'm joking.  Blue Lagoon didn't have those things, either.)

But you did get to see Willie's willie, and his bare backside.

More after the break.

Manny and Gavin D. : Gay-coded Wisconsin brothers, a wrestler and a bodybuilder, aren't into girls, until.... With some d*ck pics

  

Link to the d*ck pics

Several years ago, I became a friend of Gavin D. on Facebook and some other social media sites. He was a college wrestler from Wisconsin, about 200 miles away from my college town.

He didn't mention girls, but he mentioned other boys quite often.  I figured that he was gay, but not quite ready to come out yet.

His younger brother Manny was quiet, artistic -- gay-coded, too.

Apparently Manny was feeling left out, with two wrestler brothers and a sister who was a gymnast. At age 14 he joined the wrestling team, then began bodybuilding combined with intermittent fasting.  Strength training is fine for teenagers, but they are generally discouraged from bodybuilding until their bone structure is fully developed, and their body fat should not drop below 6-10%.  

 Manny shredded down to 3%, then to an unhealthy and unattractive 1%.  Soon he was competing in venues like the Brew City Classic in Waukesha, and was the the subject of adulating video and articles "Insane 16 year old bodybuilder!"; "The Wonderkid Bodybuilder"! 

He never actually won a competition; the adulation came mostly from the novelty of a super-shredded teen.  When he got to college, he stopped posting on social media, and I moved on to other things (I lost track of his older brother, too).

There's a n*de photo in my profile of Walker Bryant.  It was in the wrong folder.

More after the break

"Mid-Century Modern": "Golden Girls" with gay guys. Plus Bomer's backside, Adam's c*ock, and Tommy's bj

Link to the d*cks

In West Hollywood in the 1980s, every Saturday night at 9:00 pm, you could hear "Thank You For Being a Friend" coming from every apartment:

Thank you for being a friend

Traveled down a road and back again

Your heart is true

You're a pal and a confidant

as gay men sat down for a surcease from the AIDS crisis to  watch the adventures of The Golden Girls, four golden-aged ladies sharing a house in Miami.  Somehow they always ended up with cheesecake, and we did too.

Then they would head out to the Rage or Mugi or the Faultline, hoping to end up like Matt Bomer in the top photo.

180 Saturday nights with cheesecake, hookups, and Sophia's one-liners.  I'm misting up.

From left to right: Ditzy Minnesotan Rose, beset-upon Dorothy, horny Southern belle Blanche, and hanging back because the kitchen table only seats three, wisecracking Sophia.

Hulu has just dropped a 2025  homage to The Golden Girls, Mid-Century Modern, except it's in Palm Springs rather than Miami, and it features gay men: ditzy Jerry (Matt Bomer), horny Arthur (Nathan Lee Graham), beset-upon Bunny (Nathan lane), and wisecracking Sybill (Linda Lavin).  Lavin died in December 2024, but she appears in all ten Season 1 episodes.

I'm going to review Episode 1.6, "Maid Serviced," in which the guys hire a "se xy but unqualified" housekeeper.  

Scene 1:  I watch with the sound off to avoid annoying laugh tracks, but I'm imagining "Thank You for Being a Friend" as we zoom into Bunny's mansion (Bunny?  what kind of name is that for a guy, regardless of how swishy he is?).   It's the kitchen where the Girls ate cheesecakes, but now it's Arthur and Bunny at the table, Jerry cooking.  Arthur complains about the leaky sink; Bunny, busily sorting his pills "by Jew," ugh, assures him that a plumber is working on it now, and Jerry says that he dated a plumber once, with no details or dirty double entendres.  Come on, Blanche, say something about your pipes!

The pill-sorting turns into a girl-group song: "He had it coming."   This is painful to watch.  Why is it that gay guys on tv act nothing like any gay guy I've ever met in real life?  

Scene 2: Jerry asks if it's ok to store his energy drinks in the fridge.  Arthur: "I can answer for her.  Miss Havisham wants everything arranged like it was when she still had hope."  Calling gay men she?  Come on, is it 1958?  

Mom enters and announces that the housekeeper quit.  She said she didn't sign up to clean for three men. "I told her, what three men ?  They're gay. Together they barely add up to one."  Being gay makes you a woman, I get it.   The Will and Grace gang used to say the same thing. 

Bunny wants to prove that it's the other guys' house, too, so he suggests that the three of them work together to hire a new housekeeper.  Mom: "What about me?  Did women lose the right to vote?"  Not right now, but by summertime, probably.

Scene 4: Interviewing an applicant who podcasts about her cleaning hacks.  "I'm obsessed with cleaning.  My friends say I'm a little anal." Jerry: "My friends say that, too."  He has gay se*x, har har.

She demonstrates her trick for opening a jar.  "There's nothing too tight for me to open."  Looking at you for a dirty double entendre, Jerry.  Nope, Arthur says it.

"We're all impressed, and think you would be perfect..."  The next applicant, hunky Bo (Adam Hagenbuch), comes in..."Sorry, the job is filled."  I saw that joke coming a mile away.  Jerry, I said "coming."  Where's your dirty double entendre?

The complement him: "You're so handsome, you should have a one-man show, Bo on Broadway.  People would come to that.  I'd come every night."  There it is.

The interview: he's been in Palm Springs for two months.  He came with his boyfriend, but they've broken up, so he's single. 

Gay and single!  The guys squeal and shriek with absurd over-eagerness, as if they've never seen a hot guy before.  Come on, this is ridiculous.

They're ready to hire him, but he's confused.  "What about the push-ups?  In every other job interview, I have to do push-ups."  Naturally.

While they are watching with absurdly over-eager glee, Mom calls Bunny into the kitchen and warns, "Never hire someone that you want to schtup."  It's ok if you don't pressure them into it.  Bunny insists that he is the best qualified.

More after the break.  

"Mobland": The sons of rival crime families date. Of course it ends badly. With Brosnan backside , four d*cks, and Gavin Munn

 

Mobland (2025) on Paramount Plus, is about warring London mobs.  The youngest son in a crime family is usually gay, as we have seen in Gangs of London, Shameless, Greenleaf, Animal Kingdom and The Righteous Gemstones.  

Eli Gemstone's son Kelvin  and grandsons Pontius and Abraham  (Gavin Munn, right) are all gay.  At least in my fan fiction.

Besides, it stars Pierce Brosnan, so I'll check out Episode 1.1, "Stick or Twist."

Scene 1: Harry (Tom Hardy, who played a gay mobster in RocknRolla, 2008) is hosting a mob summit where the capos,  speaking various languages (all immigrants?), are arguing over a mishap involving a spoiled side of beef.  Mehmet and Costas agree to a truce, but only with a handshake, not with an apology.  That might be good enough: Harry goes to the restaurant upstairs and reports to his Dad (Pierce Brosnan), who doesn't think that it will stick.  Besides, Mehmet and Costas have been skimming off the top.

Back downstairs: Harry orders his goons to kill them all. Equal opportunity assassins: one of the goons is a woman.   Dad inspects the corpses, finishes off one, then announces that there's a gap in the brown business; call the Maltese and ask for their offer.

Scene 2: Two guys at a club.  Tommy (Felix Edwards) and wants to go home, but his Boyfriend Eddie (Anson Boon, gay in real life) argues that they still have "a date with Destiny...and Bethany and Alexis and Zari."  So that's two girls each, or are they planning to share all of them?

Anson's d*ck is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

On the way to the activity, they run into Tommy's friends Mink (Lucas Ely, left, straight in real life) and Kingster. (Jake Dove, can't tell) Boyfriend wants to rush him along -- the girls are waiting!  -- but Tommy would rather hang out with the guys.  Prefering male company to a hetero hookup?  He's gay.  Boyfriend fumes.

On the way, the guys take a photo: Tommy and his Boyfriend belong to rival mob families, so dating --- um, hanging out -- is epic.  Boyfriend throws their phone out the window.  "Nobody can know that we're dating...um, hanging out!"

More after the break

Spirou and Fantasio: The Bellhop and his Boyfriend

The young hunk and his blond, balding but still youthful boyfriend recline cozily on the couch, watching tv, their legs pressed together.  The young hunk places his foot atop his boyfriend's in a gesture of intimacy.

Suddenly the telephone rings.  "It's a woman," the young hunk announces.  "One who has the chutzpah to call us at this hour and say It's me."

His shirt is open, revealing a smooth, buffed chest.  His boyfriend is wearing a lavender t-shirt and a sky-blue jacket, a style that an older gay man might wear.

As his boyfriend takes the call, the young hunk cuddles their pet squirrel, adopting a nurturing, feminine pose. He's wearing extremely  tight pants.  The boyfriend glances over at him, apparently thinking "I'm lucky to have landed such a hot guy."

It's their coworker, Seccotine, asking for a ride to the airport.  "Sorry, tomorrow I'm going to a conference in Bali," the boyfriend says.  Ignoring the young hunk's frantic gestures, he continues: "...But don't worry, my partner will be glad to give you a ride."

A gay comic?  A parody?  A slash fantasy?  No, this is an actual excerpt from Spirou et Fantasio, a Belgian comic strip for children (and college students learning French).


The young hunk Spirou began his career in 1938 as a bellhop engaged in humorous antics.  In 1944, he met intrepid journalist Fantasio, and soon the two were pairing up for investigations, traveling through time and space, confronting gangsters, spies, dictators, mad scientists, and alien invaders, rescuing each other again and again.


 Like Tintin and Captain Haddock, Corentin and Kim,  and Alix and Enak, Spirou and Fantasio became domestic partners, and rather obviously lovers,  Occasionally Fantasio liked a woman (unlike Captain Haddock), but in the end he always returned to his true love.

During the 1990s, the couple was redrawn, becoming more naturalistic, with pleasantly muscular physiques -- and the gay subtext was revved up (it's hard to read them as anything but a modern-day gay couple).

Over fifty albums have been released to date.  Three have been translated into English.

Thomas Kuc: The gay-vague Gameshaker goes to the head of the class, hides under the bed, visits a bathhouse. With two n*de pics to compare

Link to the n*de photos

If you were a teenager in 2015, you probably saw the Nickelodeon teencom Game Shakers (2015-19), about two girls who start a video game company with the help of billionaire rapper Double G.  They bring in his son Triple G (Benjamin Flores), because they have to, and Hudson (Thomas Kuc), because he's cute.  But dumb: he wears his underwear over his pants, and tries to hide behind a pencil. 

In one episode, Hudson and Triple G dress as girls to meet girls, but otherwise no hetero-horniness is mentioned in the episode synopses.  They spend a lot of time dealing with threats to their relationship, so there is probably a gay-subtext romance going on (or text, although the Google AI insists that they're just friends).

Benjamin Flores Jr. is probably gay, but I want to profile Thomas Kuc because he's more muscular, and because I'm interested in languages: he's fluent in English, Spanish, and Polish, with some knowledge of Portuguese and Mandarin, an unusual combination.  

Thomas was born in Brazil in 2002, presumably to Polish parents, and then moved to Los Angeles.  As a child he was a competitive gymnast, and appeared in some commercials and the soap General Hospital.

He broke into movies with The Diabolical (2015).  His character, Danny, is not mentioned in the plot synopsis, but presumably he's a friend of the beset-upon woman's son Jacob.

Next came 61 episodes of Game Shakers, plus playing Hudson on a  2017 episode of Henry Danger: the Game Shakers help the superhero-in-training protect Double G's worldwide charity concert.

Head of the Class (1986-91) featured a class of high school overachievers being taught how to relax and live a little by their laid-back teacher.  My favorite was Brian Robbins (left)  as the leather-clad bad boy Eric, although Tony O'Dell, the conservative Republican, turned out to be gay in real life.    

 The revamped version on MAX (2021) brought in a new crowd of geniuses, including business tycoon Luke (former Prince of Peoria Gavin Lewis) and drama major Miles (Adrian Matthew Escalona), who is gay. Thomas played Ryan in two episodes, but he's not mentioned in the episode synopses, and the series has been removed from MAX.  Most likely he played a random student.

More after the break.  

Michael Seater: The "Life with Derek" guy grows up, gets a boyfriend, and displays a Derek d___

  

Link to the Derek d___

Born in Toronto in 1987, Michael Seater first appeared on screen in Night of the Living (1997), a short about a guy whose father turns into a zombie.  Two years of minor roles followed, and then Michael hit YTV/Nickelodeon gold with The Zack Files (2000-2002)

What gay teenager didn't rush home from school to watch the dreamy Zack(Robert Clark), and his buds Cam and Spencer (Jake Epstein, Michael) face bizarre paranormal events?  Like shoes that make it impossible to stop running, a cereal that makes him age rapidly, or an overdue library book that turns him into Alice in Wonderland. 

He went on to play paranormal investigator Lucas in Strange Days at Blake Holsey High (2002-2006). Noah Reid, later Patrick's boyfriend/husband on Schitt's Creek, played his best buddy Marshall, and he also had a love/hate relationship with school bully Vaughn (Robert Clark again).  They are sucked into a wormhole, turn invisible, repeat the same day over and over.  In my favorite episode, a chemistry accident sends Marshall through the periodic table: he becomes hydrogen, oxygen, neon, and so on.  Meanwhile, his older brother Grant arrives at the school and turns into sodium.  Marshall has changed into chlorine, so they stabilize as salt. Just go with it.

Left: Robert Clark

Next Michael moved into the more traditional teencom Life with Derek (2005-2009): He has a sibling rivalry with his adopted sister Casey (Ashley Leggat) and, in the first season, an intense, passionate, joined-at-the-hip best buddy, Sam (Kit Weyman).  Then it's girls, girls, girls every second of every day.

In Regenesis (2006-2007), Michael plays homeless teenager Owen, who moves in with paranormal investigator David (Peter Outerbridge, left), but ends up mentally damaged after an experimental treatment to cure his drug addiction 

Michael's adult roles have involved fewer subtexts:

18 to Life (2010-2011): newlywed18-year olds move in with their parents.

The "virgin getting laid" comedy Sin Bin (2012).  

The "virgin getting laid before the world ends comedy" Sadie's Last Days on Earth (2016).

In 10 episodes of Bomb Girls, 2013, set during World War II, Michael's bomb engineer Ivan dates closeted lesbian Betty, then Betty's crush Kate, then Nazi spy Helen.  Then he dies in a bomb factory explosion.  No gay male characters.

In The Wedding Planners, which aired for seven episodes in March-May 2020, Michael and his sisters plan weddings.  It doesn't look like any of them featured same-sex couples.

Most recently Michael played a gay-coded villain on The Murdoch Mysteries.  In 2009, gay student James Gillies and his boyfriend murder a professor in a reflection of the Leopold and Loeb case.  In 2023, he returns to torment Murdoch, kidnap The Girl, and survive various lethal stunts.  The show features a gay couple, so it's not just queer villains, but still, one doesn't expect such a blatant stereotype in 2023. 

And in Life with Luca, 2023, he returns to Derek as a grown-up.  He and Casey each have children who replicate the sibling-rivalry of their youth -- Luca is Casey's son.

More after the break

Skyler Gisondo's Hot/H*ng Photos, Part 4: a baseball bat, a hickey, a little dog, and a chub with a chubby

  

  Link to the n*de photos

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in Superman. 

1. Are those bi pride swim trunks?

2. Long-term bud Wyatt Oleff.  The two starrred together in the tv pilot Middle Age Rage (2013), and stayed friends, bonding over abs.

3. And stuff.  Actually, Wyatt says that he doesn't remember who he's giving a hickey to. It could be Skyler, but then, he makes out with so many guys....

4. Skyler grooving on some stars and stripes.  And his little dog, too.

5. Skyler's "just guys" vacation in New York.  He didn't say who he went with, but they look very comfortable together.  Hanging out in their underwear.

6. And out of their underwear.

More after the break

Gavin McHugh: The gay-vague kid from 9-1-1 is now a teenager, with male friends and risque comments. Bonus Tyler d*ck and costar backsides

  

Link to the n*de photos

This post on Tumblr caught my attention: "Gavin, Ryan, and Jennifer at the ABC soirée"

I dated a guy with cerebral palsy shortly after coming out (hint: those crutches produce huge biceps), so I am interested in the representation of disabled actors, especially gay disabled actors.   But first I had to find out who these people are.

Ryan is  Ryan Guzman, who played Eddie Diaz on 9-1-1 (2018-25).  In the U.S., you call 911 for emergency services, firefighters, paramedics, or the police. Actually, the police come for everything.

Eddie is a firefighter with a dead wife.  He is involved in several new relationships, including a gay-subtext one with Buck (Oliver Stark), who helps him co-parent his son.  Eventually Buck comes out as bisexual.  

During the spring of 2025, fans and reviewers predicted that the two would become a canonical couple, but apparently all they got was crumbs (minor queer codes that go nowhere).  

Backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Jennifer is Jennifer Love Hewitt, who played Maddie, a 9-1-1 dispatcher and Buck's older sister.  She moves in with him after leaving her abusive husband, and eventually marries the paramedic Chimney (Kenneth Choi) 

Gavin is Gavin McHugh, who played Eddie's son Christopher in 105 episodes.  He had only one centric, a two-parter where he is swept out to sea by a tsunami, and Buck tries desperately to rescue him.

 Otherwise it seems to be mostly Eddie getting upset when the boy is too old for trick-or-treating on Halloween, or having a flashback and scaring him so much that he goes to stay with Buck for awhile. Eventually he moves to El Paso to stay with his grandparents.

Gavin was born in Riga, Latvia in 2010, and adopted by an Atlanta family when he was 2 1/2 years old.  In 2015, they moved to Los Angeles to pursue acting opportunities for his older siblings.  

Flynn (second from the left) has appeared in The Fifth Wave, Shameless, Hot Summer Nights, and Kevin Probably Saves the World. 

Logan (next to Gavin) has appeared in Hot Summer Nights, Survivor's Remorse, and Your Worst Nightmare. 

Lia (center) played Sprite in the Marvel Cinematic Universe's The Eternals, with characters named Ikarus, Ajak, Gilgamesh, Druig, Karon, Eros....and Ben (Haaz Sleiman, being hugged while gay and Muslim on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends). 

More after the break. 

That 90s Show, Episode 3.6: Ozzie dates, Theo does stuff, and Nate the super-sized gets dumped. WIth Theo and Noah Centineo

 Link to the n*de dudes

Note: I published this review in September 2024, but upon rereading, I couldn't understand a word, with four interconnected plot threads.  So I separated them.

That 90s Show is a nostalic spin-off of That 70s Show, set 20 years later, with the children of the original cast hanging out in that basement: Jay, the pretty one (Mace Coronel, left); Nate, the super-sized (Maxwell Acee Donovan); Ozzie, the gay one (Reyn Doi); and three or four girls, it's hard to keep track.

While the other teens merge in and out of complicated love triangles and quadrangles, Ozzie is always being stymied in his quest for the elusive boyfriend.  He has a long-distance boyfriend in Canada, who dumps him before we can meet him, and then a lost connection with Isaac (Raphael Alejandro) in Season 3.  I'm reviewing the episode where they go on their first date, "Life is a Highway."

Kitty and Red's Problem: How to keep Otis from getting with his ex-wife, and convince him to pay attention to his daughter: 

Scene 1: Grandma Kitty, Grandpa Red, and Gwen's mom  are in the kitchen, doing stuff with meat, when Gwen's Dad Otis (Cedric Yarbrough) arrives with a big announcement: he was hit by a mail truck, and settled for $20,000, so he cand take a break from his truck driving job and spend some time with "his girls."

Gwen's Mom reveals a problem: whenever Gwen's Dad bangs into town, he's so charming that Mom jumps into doing stuff with him, and then they start arguing, and Gwen is in the middle of it. Easy, Grandma Kitty says: "I'll just keep you from doing stuff with him."

Scene 2: Dad Otis is cooking in preparation for the big barbecue when his daughter Gwen and focus character Leia enter, wanting truck-driving lessons.

Scene 3: At the barbecue, Gwen's Dad Otis was allowed to cook, and now the wieners are all shriveled.  Wiener  joke, har har.

 Also, Grandma Kitty was trying to prevent Gwen's parents from doing stuff, but they did stuff anyway.  "It wasn't your fault.  Trying to stop us made it hotter."

Dad Otis also blew off the big, important truck-driving lesson, letting his daughter down, so Leia and Gwen drive off by themselves, with no lessons. 

Scene 4: The girls only got a few blocks.  Still, Otis is furious  Instead of yelling, Grandma Kitty suggests talking, seeing what's bothering her.

Scene 5: Gwen explained that she stole the truck because her Dad keeps breaking his promises and is never there for her.  They have a heart-to-heart. Awww.

Scene 6: Dad Otis finally giving Gwen her truck-driving lesson. Awww. The end.

Nate the Super-Sized's Problem: How to break up with your girlfriend when you are really big.

Scene 1: At the barbecue, Nate the Super-Sized complains that he wants to break up with his overbearing girlfriend, Betsy, because he's still in love with his Ex. He tried to break up, and she said "No."  Hey, wasn't this plot on Seinfeld around 1996?  

Gwen's Dad Otis commiserates:  "I been there -- you lay the pipe too clean, the wild ones never let you go." Ulp, he's talking about Jay the Pretty One's sister!  

Ok, how to break up with her: "Tell her that you cheated with that little hottie." Ulp, he's talking about Jay's girlfriend! 

"Ok, just make up a girl. Say you cheated with Amy."

Scene 2: Nate confesses that he cheated with a girl named Amy, but girlfriend Betsy is fine with it.  In fact, she wants all three of them to do stuff together.

Scene 3: Nate the Super-sized is calling random women named Amy to find someone willing to do stuff, so his girlfriend won't know that he lied about cheating. They all hang up.  Maybe text them a photo of your super-size? 

Jay the Pretty One suggests getting super-clingy and scaring the girlfriend away.

Scene 4: Nate the Super-sized comes clean about still being in love with his ex, Nikki -- in Nikki's earshot.  The girlfriend dumps him, but Nikki doesn't want to get back together, so he is out of luck.  Maybe Jay is available.

Nikki's Problem: How to convince your boyfriend to do stuff with you: 

Scene 1: Nikki, yet another member of the basement gang, and Ozzie meet in the diner. 

Nikki's  problem: Her boyfriend, Theo (Anthony Turpel), just wants to kiss, and she's ready to go downtown, but he's shy, and she's never had to make the first move before.  Her last boyfriend was Nate the Super-sized -- always ready for anything. 

How can Nikki subtly inform her new boyfriend that she wants to do stuff?  Ozzie suggests going to a movie, making sure there's a box of popcorn on his lap, reaching for some, and missing.  Where'd you learn that trick, boy?  Isn't this your first date?

Anthony Turpel, age 24, probably has some beefcake online.  I'll check after the break.

Scene 2: Nikki takes her boyfriend to a movie, and tries the "reaching for the popcorn and missing" trick. He's fine with doing stuff, as long as she starts.

More after the break