The Terminator series (how many have there been so far?) is about machines taking over the world in the near future, trying to kill all humans, and sending a bot back in time to kill the mother of the person who will eventually thwart their plans. Timelines change, the future is changed, evil cyborgs become good, and it all starts over again. This time, it's Terminator: Dark Fate (2019). Well, maybe we'll see Arnold naked.
Scene 1: A teen couple, Miguel (Daniel Ibanez) and Maria, are kissing under a bridge. Suddenly a blob opens up in the sky, and a naked lady falls to the ground. They rush to help her.
Ugh! Naked lady! But Miguel is cute. Maybe he'll be her ally, and we'll get some beefcake
The police arrive, think they are abducting her, and attack. She revives and kill s them-- naked lady fight. Then she co-opts Miguel's clothes.
And Miguel and Maria vanish from the story! Boo!
Scene 2: A cute domestic scene, with grown-up brother and sister Diego (Diego Ramos) and Dani (Natalia Reyes) , Dad who makes breakfast, and cute dog. Whoah, Diego has his shirt off for about five minutes. Six-pack abs! Things are looking up!
They go to work at a factory, where they discover that Diego's job has been taken over by a robot. Foreshadowing!
Meanwhile another blob opens up, and a naked man falls out. Things are really looking up! He knocks on Dani's door and talks to her father.
Scene 3: The naked man, now clothed, turns out to be a cyborg named Rev 9 (Gabriel Luna, below). He goes to the factory and starts killing people. Naked Lady (Grace, played by Mackenzie Davis) fights him, while explaining that he has come from the future to kill Dani.
Dani, Diego, and Grace flee through the streets of Mexico City...
Hey, Mexico City. There will be interesting location shots for a change!
And out into the desert, which could be anywhere. Boo!
Diego is killed, and vanishes from the story. Double boo!
Scene 4: Dani and Grace hook up with an elderly but still kick-ass Sarah Connor. I like her call-backs: "Come with me if you...don't want to die"; "I'll be back."
For the last 20 years, she has been getting occasional transmissions telling her where and when a terminator will appear, so she can kill it. Now she's ready to help them by killing the Rev 9.
Three women together. I'll bet Grace and Dani fall in love. Or Dani and Sarah. Or Sarah and Grace. Or all three.
Scene 5: Grace needs some kind of medicine, so they raid a pharmacy. The pharmacy tech offers to help, and carries Grace outside. Hey, he's cute. Maybe he'll join them, and....
he vanishes from the story. Boo!
Scene 6: They decide to go to the source of Sarah's messages, in Laredo, Texas.. Across the border.
You realize that all of Mexico is not "across the border," right? It's 600 miles from Mexico City to Laredo.
Coincidentally, Dani's uncle is a coyote, illegally transporting people across the border. He's a bit crotchety, but there's a cute guy sitting on the couch, reading a magazine. Maybe he will...
He accompanies them to the border without saying anything or getting a face shot. They are all captured by the ICE. Sarah breaks them out -- well, Dani and Grace, anyway. She leaves the guy to his fate. Hey, he was helping you, and you abandoned him! Boo!
Scene 6: They reach the source of the transmission -- a cabin in the Laredo forests, occupied by Arnold! The original terminator, a thousand years old but still buffed, retired, going by the name Carl. He has started a family with a single mom (their relationship is not sexual, he specifies).
Arnold! Things are looking up!
Plus his adopted son Mateo (Manuel Pacific) is cute. Maybe he'll join them....
Nope, he vanishes from the story. Boo!
Scene 7: Carl helps them destroy the Rev 9. Grace dies. I guess she and Dani won't become lovers. Which is probably a good thing, because:
Spoiler alert!
Scene 8: Fast-forward to the future. Sarah and Dani are living together, in what I assume is a romantic relationship, and Grace is their daughter!
That must be why they missed so many beefcake opportunities. What lesbian wants to look at hot guys? Bring on the kick-ass babes!
Apparently they are not a canonical lesbian couple because the producers are homophobes or cowards, or both. But the lesbian community has latched onto them anyway.
The series reached it's peak with "Terminator 2"
ReplyDeleteWell, he is a robot, but we know from the first movie that terminators have penises and testes, I just assumed they were completely nonfunctional, just there to disguise them as humans. Still no reproductive function, but apparently terminators can have erections.
ReplyDeleteWait, didn't the original T-800 get crushed at the end of the movie?
Boomer if you are looking for sci-fi beefcake Christian Bale and Sam Worthington are both in "Terminator Salvation" (2009)
ReplyDeleteThanks, I'll look it up. I haven't seen many of the terminator series.
ReplyDeleteMaybe terminator robots are asexual, not interested in sexual relationships, but willing to set up domestic partnerships to "fit in."
ReplyDeleteTerminators are androids so yea I can imagine some of them would be designed for sex. I do not recommend "Terminator Genesys" (2015) in which they tried to re-write the entire Terminator mythology even redoing scenes from the first movie - but if you are looking for sci-fi beefcake you got a digitally rejuvenated Arnold as well as Jai Courtney ,Jason Clarke, and Lee Byung-Hun
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