I lived in Manhattan for four years, but visited the gay resort of Fire Island only twice, in the off season. But I heard stories of the summertime: nonstop bacchanalia, the whole island turning into a bathhouse, the swimming, dancing, and socializing just breathers amid the tricking. Guys who lived closeted lives back in the city, who rarely hooked up and never dated for fear of Mom or the boss finding out, became intoxicated by the sexual freedom. So I am expecting the 2022 movie Fire Island to be a sex romp.
Scene 1 (Thursday): Asian muscle guy wakes up, thinking of that quote from Pride and Prejudice: "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." Well, Austin was wrong: not every man wants a wife. Cut back to see a black muscle hunk in his bed! Surprise -- he's gay! Not really -- I read the synopsis. Asian muscle guy (Noah, played by Joel Kim Booster) is shocked that last night's trick is still around. "He had the boyfriend look -- that's not me."
Noah rushes to get to the dock on time. He sees his "faggots" beckoning furiously from the ferry. "Don't cancel me," he cautions. "I'm reclaiming it."
They are all 30-ish queens who flutter and carry handbags and call each other "girlfriend." He explains: they all met ten years ago, when they were working at a brunch spot in Williamsburg: "Bottomless mimosas."
1.-2. Luke and Keegan (back row left), a couple, I think, dropped out of film school.
3. Max (back row right), a little chunky, reading a biography of Marilyn Albright, is super-smart but a bit of a downer.
4. Howie, his best friend (front row right), has a cushy job in San Francisco, but returns for the Fire Island trip every year. They bonded over the anti-Asian prejudice they experienced in the gay community.
Hey, there are five friends, and there are five Bennett sisters in Pride and Prejudice. Could there be a connection?
Noah takes his shirt off, but doesn't draw any attention from the other guys on the ferry. Although he's a muscle-hunk, he still has trouble hooking up in a culture that values whiteness, thinness, and masculinity: "No fats, no fems, no Asians." He's two out of the three!
Scene 3: They arrive at Fire Island, and drag their "hello, kitty" luggage all the way up to the beach house. Most of the men they pass are cruising everyone -- except them. Howie tries a "hello," and is told "No, thanks." This seems a little harsh. Surely someone on Fire Island is into feminine men!
They are greeted with "Bitch! I thought I smelled some bottoms!" by their lesbian fag hag friend, Erin. (It's ok, I'm reclaiming it). Noah explains: ten years ago she accidentally ate a piece of glass at an Olive Garden, got a huge settlement, and bought the house where they all spend a week every summer.
Scene 4: Noah and Howie smoking and drinking. Howie is upset because Fire Island is all about hooking up, and he wants a boyfriend. Noah scoffs: monogamy was invented by heterosexual men to maintain control over their wives' bodies. Gay people are free from all that nonsense; so just pick a dick or two, and have at it! Ten to one they get together.
Howie also states that he's never had sex. A cute, young guy living in San Francisco wants sex but can't find a partner? Impossible! Just walk down the street; you'll be cruised a dozen times. I'm over 60, living in a small town on the Plains, and if I want "Mr. Right Now," I just have to go on Grindr for about 20 minutes.
Howie agrees to let Noah set him up with a trick. Except he has to be a nice guy.
Scene 5: Plot complication: Mama Erin reveals to the "girls" that she's broke, so she has to sell the house. They're too poor to come unless they get free lodging, so this will be their last week on Fire Island, ever.
I'll stop the scene-by-scene there. You just need to know that:
1. This movie is heftier than I expected, centering on the problems that feminine and Asian men face in a gay culture that denigrates or fetishizes them.
2. There are lots of parallels with Pride and Prejudice. It's easy to identify Noah as Elizabeth Bennett, Howie as Jane, Will (Conrad Riccamora, left) as Mr. Darcy, and Charlie (James Scully) as Mr. Bingley.
3. And there's all of the foam parties, underwear parties, fetish parties, dark room hookups, beach hookups, veranda hookups, and behind-the-bushes hookups that you remember (or heard about). I didn't think that such things still happened in the era of Grindr, and in fact Noah loses his cell phone right away, giving his erotic machinations a distinctly nostalgic feel.
My Grade: A.
Fire Island is a gay heaven but I prefer Cherry Grove to the pretentious Pines- yes lots cute nude guys and sex in the woods
ReplyDeleteCherry Grove has been a gay haven for over 100 years
DeleteWhen is this set? I thought the "no Asians" thing would just mean that from that point on everyone just hears Dixieland every time you open your mouth.
DeleteI mean, there are places with few hate crimes. There are places with few hate crimes and an active hookup culture. Then there's Fire Island.
DeleteThe "No Asians" isn't a city law, it's a society that devalues Asian men, presenting them as soft, passive, and non-sexual. So Grindr profiles say "no fats, no fems, no Asians."
DeleteThe worst part of this movie was Joel Kim Booster's hideous fringe/bangs.
ReplyDeleteThe second worst is that the fat, black character with possibly the MOST to say about racism and fatphobia in the gay community is relegated to the background and doesn't get a plot of his own. At least he does get to roll his eyes and make a couple of deadpan quips, in approved Black Supporting Character fashion.