Link to the n*de dudes
Episode 1: "The Swamp Eel."
Scene 1: A chubby eyeglassed guy awakens in the hull of a ship, chained to a bed. A young guy (Jun Shuo-Lou) tells him that they've been kidnapped because "Your boss found out that you were sleeping with his wife."
"But I'm just his accountant. I never even met his wife."
What other reason would he have to kill them?
He has evidence of money laundering -- the Boss must think that he's going to leak it. But it's hidden in his study.
"They're in the study," Driver says, tossing him the key to his chains as he walks out. Huh?
He wasn't in a ship after all; he was in a truck. We see the Driver changing clothes beside his ritzy car, while his partner is eating a sandwich. "We just kidnapped you to get the location of the incriminating evidence. You're free to go."
As they zoom off, the driver, who turns out to be a fixer named Gold, calls the Boss to say that they're on the way to get the ledgers. His partner complains that they keep doing jobs for the police.
Scene 2: Establishing shot of a poor neighborhood. A dice game. Uh-oh, Swamp Eel (Christopher Ming Shun Lee, right) uses a device to cheat, then gathers his money. "My beautiful wife has made me dinner, so I have to go." Heterosexual identity established immediately.
Some gangsters led by Milky (Sam Lin) enter. Swamp Eel asks "Coffee, tea, or me?" An old stewardess joke that implies gay/bi identity.
"Your debt's overdue. Time to pay."
"Um...er...uh...business is slow. Let's play a dice game for it."
Milky (Sam Lin, left) bets a huge amount. Swamp Eel uses his device, but they catch him.
"Now we're going to cut off your most valuable body part!" No, not his p*enis, his finger.
Swamp Eel runs away, across the housetops, and into a secret hole in a wall, across another rooftop, into an open-air market, where he swings a swamp eel like a lasso. They pellet him with cabbages. He jumps into a police car and blows them kisses.
Scene 3: He arrives at home to find "Scammers go away!" signs all over his house. His son Howie reveals that his wife is live streaming about being scammed. She used the house as collateral to take out a loan for five million Taiwan dollars ($16,000 USD) to invest in cryptocurrency, expecting to get rich. Instead, she lost everything.
Left: the IMDB says that Howie is played by Chen-yu Sun, but he is voiced by Sebastian Sero. Must be the English dub.
Swamp Eel yells at her for losing the money. "You're obsessed with getting rich!"
"Well, what do you do all day? Nothing! I think you have a lover."
"Ok, ok, I'll take care of it. I'll get the money back."
Scene 4: A girl enters Chiu Cha Temple, a second-story the Xinzhuang District of New Taipei City. She prays, then fills out a consultation card and selects a fortune stick. In a hidden room, the monk looks up her information online, comes out, and tells her that Mr. Chao should go to a different temple, Ching He- by himself.
Cut to the middle-aged Mr. Chao (Jui Hung Ma, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) with an unbrella walking up steps in the rain to reach the fictional Ching He Temple. A Monk leads him through several rooms to a meeting with the Head Monk, who asks "How can we help you?"
Scene 5: This is confusing. Mr. Chao is seeking re-election, but his son's drug arrest is ruining his chances. But then another extremely important guy appears at a re-election fundraiser, and while he is being photographed by the press, his estranged son appears. Everyone is shocked. But it's not Mr. Chao and his drug-bust son. It's someone else. Why confuse viewers like this?
Scene 6: The Eel gets a phone call from his Friend Jung: Gangster Milky is telling everyone that his games are rigged, and everyone knows that they're out 5,000,000 NTD, so he needs money, right? Friend Jung has a debt collection job that pays 300,000 but he'll have to flash a gun around. The Eel refuses: "I don't do that anymore," but changes his mind and retrieves the tin box with his gun.
Cut to the fundraiser, where the New Guy is schmoozing. His estranged son, whom everyone was surprised to see, turns out to be the Driver from Scene 1, actually Louis Hsieh or Fixer Gold, who works for the monks of the Ching He Temple (where Mr. Chao asked for assistance). He approachesd a girl at the bar, flirts with her, talks her into drinking, then invites her up to his room:
For an interrogation: "I can't believe that a woman with a Ph.D. had to hook up with her boss's husband." Hey, that's the line he used in his first scam. Turns out that she works for Mr. Chao's opponent, Lu Shu-Jung (not listed in the IMDB), who hired a tough named Noobs to frame Mr. Chao's son, thus ruining his campaign.
"Why did Tough Noobs agree to do it?"
Four random n*de dudes on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
"We promised to get his own drug charges dropped. But we're going to frame him for kidnapping and human trafficking. He's going to prison regardless, evil laugh."
"Ok, I recorded the conversation. You're free to go." So Fixer Gold wasn't really into her.
More after the break
Scene 7: The Eel arrives at a deserted pig farm. He calls Friend Jung: "Are you sure this is the right place." "Sure, it's the cover for Noob's illegal drug business."
Uh-oh, another guy (Chu Pak-hong, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) has Noobs at gunpoint. "They're going to betray you regardless of who wins the election." He plays the recording that Fixer Gold got with the assistant of Mr. Chao's Opponent. "Now hand over the proof that Mr. Chao's son was framed. I'll even pay you."
This guy is Fixer Shadow. He also works for the monks at the Ching He Temple.
"It's in the pig sty over there." He makes Noobs fetch it. But Noobs pulls out a gun and starts shooting. The Eel, puttering around outside, runs away -- he can't join in, his gun isn't loaded! Fixer Shadow kills Noobs (in self defense, I suppose) and goes looking for the Eel, but he manages to take the gun from Noobs' body and shoot him in the leg.
"I'm sorry I shot you," he explains. "And I didn't see anything. I just came to collect a debt."
Fixer Shadow calls Fixer Gold (the one who flirted with the Opponent's assistant). "I have the video of Noobs framing Mr. Chao's son, but my phone is broken, so I can't send it. And I've been shot, so I can't walk it over to you. And by the way, there's someone else here."
He sends Fixer Gold a photo of the Eel. Wait -- he can't send videos, but he can send photos? Fixer Gold researches his identity, goes on speaker, and asks him to bring the phone with the video the top floor of the Kuang He Road parking lot. If you don't...we know a lot about your son Howie, threat, threat. So the monks threaten to kill children?
Whoops, the Eel's car was damaged in the gunfight, so he borrows the Assassin's.
Meanwhile, Mr. Chao is about to go on stage. His Opponent smirks. "Don't worry. I'll settle the score I have with you later."
Suddenly she gets a phone call. "We can't find Noobs anymore."
"Take care of it! We need to get it sorted out!" Wait -- wouldn't she be happy if Noobs is dead, since he couldn't blab about framing the son. But maybe he has the evidence waiting for someone to find, like the Accountant in Scene 1.
Scene 8: A beautiful spiral parking structure. Fixer Gold takes the phone from the Eel and downloads the data. Uh-oh, a lot of toughs entered. How would they know that Fixer Gold and the Eel are there? Which one are the after? "Take this phone to Mr. Chao at the fundraiser next door." But you don't need it anymore. You can just text Mr. Chao the data.
"Nope, I'm not doing it."
"Your son, threat threat."
The Eel consents. As he walks away, the Fixer blares his horn, and the toughs start running toward them. A double cross? He runs. They catch up, punch and kick him, and grab the phone. Whoops, it's the wrong one, just porn movies. "Well, just punch him to death, and we'll go."
Cut to the fundraiser, where Mr. Chao is about to announce his withdrawal to avoid the scandal. Suddenly he gets a text. He announces that he won't tbe withddrawing, and he has evidence that his son was framed. His Opponent is horrified.
The Fixer gets a text that the mission is complete, and is about to leave, when the Eel runs up. He managed to grab a gun from a guy's belt and shoot them in the knees. "Now let's fight!"
"How about a late dinner instead?" Asking him out on a date? You know he's married, right?
But when the Eel tries to get into the car, the Fixer drives away! A-hole!
Scene 9: Back at temple, the Head Monk hears that Fixer Shadow has been sent for treatment, and the case is closed. "We should ask Mr. Chao to send in a donation." Didn't they decide on a price before?
"And there's another matter that you may be interested in."
Cut to the Eel, going home to his wife (asleep in front of the news), reports about Mr. Chao not stepping down and multiple gangsters with broken kneecaps. Ominous music plays as feet get out of a car. It's the monk from the Ching He Temple, ready to offer him a job.
Spoiler Alert: He's assigned to be Fixer Gold's partner. That's him in Scene 1!
Beefcake: Fixer Gold takes off his shirt a lot.
Heterosexism: Only the Eel is married, and he doesn't seem interested in his wife. Fixer Gold's go-to line: "You slept with the boss's husband/wife!" is heteronormative.
Gay Characters: The Eel flirts with guys several times, probably as a joke. Fixer Gold doesn't display any heterosexual interest, but he might get a girlfriend in later episodes.
My Grade: Funny at times, and I liked the gay banter, but it was extremely confusing. I've gone through it twice, and I still don't understand some of the plot points. And what was the point of having two extremely important men with estranged sons appear simultaneously? C+
Left: Gangster Milky's henchman.
No comments:
Post a Comment
No offensive, insulting, racist, or homophobic comments are permitted.
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.