Link to the n*de photos
Below (2026), one of those Netflix one-word titles, is about a sea monster threatening a small fishing village.I went in looking for Newfoundland accents and beefcake, but to my surprise there was a lesbian sister and huge gay-subtext romance.
Scene 2: 40 years later, the 50-year old Calvin (former teen idol Josh Hartnett) is living in the coastal town of Snooks Arms. That was the big city? He takes his boat out to gather a chunk of ice about ten feet in diameter. But it's contaminated, so the Blue Ice Vodka Company doesn't want to buy it.
Scene 1: A motorboat with a nuclear family and an officious bureaucrat, towing a house on a raft! In 1986, the Newfoundland government decided that small villages were too costly to maintain, so they moved the residents to cities -- with their horribly run-down houses.
Uh-oh, the house is stuck! Dad Leo (James Hawksney) goes inside to see what the problem is. Something stares up at him from beneath the floorboards, and drags the whole house under! Son Calvin (Azriel Dalman) has to cut the tow line!
Scene 2: 40 years later, the 50-year old Calvin (former teen idol Josh Hartnett) is living in the coastal town of Snooks Arms. That was the big city? He takes his boat out to gather a chunk of ice about ten feet in diameter. But it's contaminated, so the Blue Ice Vodka Company doesn't want to buy it.
Also, some Portuguese fishermen have gone missing.
On his way out, Calvin gets a text: His favorite son, Jay (Rohan Campbell, left), will be meeting his daughter Mary at the airport, so they'll come over on the ferry together.
Scene 4: Calvin's screw-up son, Wade (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), zooms a dune buggy with a doll head mascot out of town, blaring punk rock music.
The elderly man is played by Darrin Baker, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
Scene 5: Calvin and Sister Ruth head to the ferry to pick up "the youngsters," whom they haven't seen for three years.
Scene 7: Cut to a a tavern, with a woman asking the elderly couple to kiss a screecher (fish). "Now you're honorary Newfies!"
Suddenly the Christmas lights jangle, there's a bright light, and everyone rushes outside. But it's not a monster-- missing Favorite Son Jay has gotten a lift on a helicopter! He explains that he "got into a few pints" at the Calgary Airport, and missed his connecting flight, so the b'ys from Hibernia (an oil field) offered to drop him off.
Left: An Ethiopian guy.
In the remaining episodes, each of the four main characters gets a plot arc, in addition to fighting the sea monster. Favorite Son Jay owes $90,000 ($64,000 U.S.) to a bad guy, who sends two enforcers, Connor and Mo (Josh Cruddas, left, Matthew Worku, below), to collect. They beat him up and go back and forth for several days, but somehow end up becoming friends. Jay is especially drawn to Mo, who was a fisherman back in Somalia.
In Episode 5, the Bad Guy orders the enforcers to stop stalling and bring Jay in for questioning. On the way, the sea monster attacks. Jay manages to save Mo, but Connor gets crushed with the car.
In Episode 6, the family climbs into the evacuation helicopter: Screw-up Wade, Mary and her boyfriend, and Jay and Mo. No one questions why Mo is on the "family" helicopter. Everyone accepts him implicitly as Jay's boyfriend.
Next, the Snooks Arms Resettlement Meeting at Fishermen's Hall. They're still doing that? If you vote in favor of resettlement, the province will provide a fee of $140,000 ($100,000 U.S.). Ruth, Calvin's sister, is against it. They've already been resettled once.
Hey, the lady in charge calls Ruth "my love." A lesbian couple? Now we just need a gay male couple. Don't worry, there's one coming up.
Scene 3: Ocean Science Centre, Seal Cove (in the far west of Newfoundland, about 600 km from St. John's). A barefoot lady heads to the lab, where Scientist Barry is examining a deceased flamingo. The nearest flamingo habitat is in the Caribbean; what was it doing here?
They start to examine it, when she gets a call: Calvin wants to see you.
She is not happy: "I don't have time for your nonsense right now." But he wants to show her the block of ice that Ice Blue Vodka didn't want to buy.
"It stinks of ammonia. Where did you get it?"
"Little Bird Bay." No such place.
"I'll run some tests. It's been a weird summer, with changing ocean currents and migratory patterns. We're expecting a major glacial collapse from Greenland any day now."
"When it collapses, give your friend Calvin a call so I can pick up some ice." I thought she was his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, but he calls her a "friend." Score!
On his way out, Calvin gets a text: His favorite son, Jay (Rohan Campbell, left), will be meeting his daughter Mary at the airport, so they'll come over on the ferry together.
I'm not sure if Rohan is gay in real life, or has just played gay characters.
Scene 4: Calvin's screw-up son, Wade (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), zooms a dune buggy with a doll head mascot out of town, blaring punk rock music.
Screw-Up Wade is played by Charlie Heaton, Jonathan Byers on Stranger Things.
So you've got a gay brother in two shows.
Cut to Wade at home, frying bologna and telling an elderly couple, "The Penneys is fishermen all the way back, sure, but it went up the arse 40 years ago, when they forced us to resettle here." I love that Newfie accent.
Problem: The waters on this side of Newfoundland are deadly. His dad and grandpa died in separate boating accidents, and his mom died of cancer from canning fish. Wade turns out to be Calvin's son, so why did he just say that his dad died? Maybe he's adopted?
The elderly man is played by Darrin Baker, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
They're a bed and breakfast couple, hoping to stay for an extra few days. Wade says no problem, "mi casa es su casa."
But Dad Calvin enters and says "Sorry, Wade's brother and sister are coming for a visit -- it's Come Home Year, a province-wide festival, so we won't have room."
Wade glares at him -- they need the money -- so Dad Calvin promises to work something out. Just double up on the bedrooms. Once my Aunt Nora squeezed 12 people into 3 bedrooms and a sofa.
Next Calvin's Sister Ruth comes in to tell Calvin that they've upped the resettlement fee to $140,000, and reduced the percent of villagers who have to agree from 90% to 75%. He is not happy.
Scene 5: Calvin and Sister Ruth head to the ferry to pick up "the youngsters," whom they haven't seen for three years.
Daughter Mary, who is college-aged, introduces her boyfriend, Noah (Caleb Horn, far right).
"Where's my Favorite Son Jay, who was supposed to meet you at the airport?"
"He didn't, and his phone's gone dead." Uh-oh.
They drive home, the hetero couple kissing a few dozen times. When they arrive, Screw-up Wade joins them in his dune buggy.
More after the break
Scene 6: Montage of people cooking, laughing, kissing the top of each other's heads (gross!). Meanwhile, at the lab, Scientist Barry is examines the ice cube. Except it's not water. It's 10,000 year old frozen mucus, crowded with microorganisms. So, sea monster snot?
Cut to a Fish Cop getting a call about illegal crab traps on Little Pot Rock Island. He heads to the island, finds a rope, and follows it into the ocean. The trap has a human leg in it!
Scene 7: Cut to a a tavern, with a woman asking the elderly couple to kiss a screecher (fish). "Now you're honorary Newfies!"
Boyfriend Noah asks Mary if he'll have to kiss a screecher, too? "No, you're with me." They kiss a dozen times more. Calvin stares mournfully at a photo of his drowned dad.
Josh Hartnett's backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
Suddenly the Christmas lights jangle, there's a bright light, and everyone rushes outside. But it's not a monster-- missing Favorite Son Jay has gotten a lift on a helicopter! He explains that he "got into a few pints" at the Calgary Airport, and missed his connecting flight, so the b'ys from Hibernia (an oil field) offered to drop him off.
Jay heard that Dad Calvin is having financial difficulties, so he offers some money. He's making a lot on "the rigs." Oil rigs.
Screw-up Son Wade looks on, jealous of the father-son affection. A bully asks why he never goes on the water. "Um...er...somebody has to stay home to do the cooking and cleaning for the B&B." Everyone starts to dance, as the camera pans to the darkness outside.
Scene 8: Everyone is asleep. We see Calvin, the two hetero couples, the two brothers sharing a bed (no beefcake). Calvin awakens, wonders what happened "to the Jesus heat," and goes outside t ocheck the furnace. Uh-oh, a giant, mountain-sized iceberg has floated into the harbor.
Scene 9: Tourists are gawking at the town's new "Iceberg Island," although Sister Mary warns that it's just a block of sea monster mucus, like the one in the lab. Calvin invites Favorite Son Jay, Daughter Mary, and her Boyfriend to go scouting for real icebergs
Left: An Ethiopian guy.
"Can I come?" Screw=up Son Wade asks. "You never let me come."
"Well, you have ADHD, and you're taking psylocyben for depression, so..." So why can't he just sit in a boat?
While they are searching, Favorite Son Jay gets a text: "You're a dead man." Uh-oh
They find a bunch of icebergs, not contaminated, so Blue Ice Vodka buys them.
I'll stop the scene-by-scene there, and go straight to the gay-subtext.
In the remaining episodes, each of the four main characters gets a plot arc, in addition to fighting the sea monster. Favorite Son Jay owes $90,000 ($64,000 U.S.) to a bad guy, who sends two enforcers, Connor and Mo (Josh Cruddas, left, Matthew Worku, below), to collect. They beat him up and go back and forth for several days, but somehow end up becoming friends. Jay is especially drawn to Mo, who was a fisherman back in Somalia.
In Episode 5, the Bad Guy orders the enforcers to stop stalling and bring Jay in for questioning. On the way, the sea monster attacks. Jay manages to save Mo, but Connor gets crushed with the car.
After some "Are you ok?", they figure out a way to get Jay off the hook with the Bad Guy: say that Connor took the $90,000 and ran off.
So then Mo returns to the big city, right? Wrong.
In Episode 6, the family climbs into the evacuation helicopter: Screw-up Wade, Mary and her boyfriend, and Jay and Mo. No one questions why Mo is on the "family" helicopter. Everyone accepts him implicitly as Jay's boyfriend.
Jay decides to stay and help fight the monster. Mo: "I'm with you, so I'm down for whatever." Kiss him!
In the Epilogue, set a year later, we see what happened to Calvin and each of his children: first Mary and Boyfriend Noah, then Jay and Mo. They're working at the distillery together, or maybe they own it. The subtext is so strong that I'm surprised it's not canonical.
To meet my d*ck quota, I'm including some n*de Ethiopian guys (Matthew Worku is Ethiopian-Canadian).
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