Link to the n*de photos
Episode 1, Scene 1: The Narrator tells us that Ethan (Leo Reich) has one of the easiest lives in human history, he has just met a guy in the park (gay identity revealed immediately), and he has lowered his screen time to six hours a day. But, as he tells his therapist, he has this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. At least you live in Britain. Imagine the gloom and despair here in the fascist state.
He just wanted to live in a crappy flat with the loves of his life, get drunk every night, and have nothing to worry about for ten years. Is that too much to ask?
Therapist: "Yes."
But they were kicked out of that flat, and they can't move into the new one for three weeks, so he's staying with this guy named Jesse, who is an awful person, which makes him hot. Also his biceps, though I hate it when a guy flexes in the middle of the act.
"I wouldn't want to fuck somebody I respect...Life is hard, so woe is me. Maybe everything is already over." Try fucking someone you respect.
Suddenly the therapist (Andrew Scott) kisses him! "Sorry, I have a real client in about 15 minutes, so..." So this was like a f*tish scene?
"You're fine, you're valid. Now open up for Daddy." He spits in Ethan's mouth. WTF?
Scene 2: Ethan shows his female flatmates, aka the loves of his life, the hole he accidentally made in his bedroom wall, trying to put up a picture with a drill. They tell him that the landlady is coming by tomorrow, so he needs to fix it or they won't get their deposit back. Girl, you never get that deposit back. The landlady always finds some incredibly picky reason to keep it.
Cut to Ethan trying to pack and telling his flatmates about the plans for tonight: booze, cocaine, and hit the club around 11:00. They insist that he fix the hole first.
In other news, they need proof of income for their new place. Flatmate Sam (a girl) doesn't have a real job, and Ethan? "It's not my fault I got fired for using my phone too much." Flatmate Abbi says that she'll get the pay stubs from her job.
They're glad that at least Ethan got a guy. "We didn't do the bottom stuff, though. It hurts. I'm never going to get slammed by a huge monster c*ck!" I heard that, brother. Who wants to shove a telephone pole up there? That's what mouths are for.
"Have you told your boyfriend Jesse that you're getting with other guys?"
"No, our relationship is casual, so it's assumed."
The two loves' romantic history:
Flatmate Abi is dating Tom, who won't do anything with her because he has a low libido.
Flatmate Sam had an ex-girlfriend who cheated on her, but she was unaware. Until now.
Scene 3: Ethan and his mum drive his stuff -- in garbage bags -- to Boyfriend Jesse's flat. Jesse (Arian Nik) comes out shirtless, which annoys Mum, but: "I'm so happy that Ethan finally has a boyfriend."
"Um...he's not my boyfriend," Jesse tells her.
Mum is shocked;: "Ethan! It's not safe to live with someone you don't know. He could be a scammer or a mad axe murderer."
"He's joking," Ethan insists. "We're very serious. We're trying to have a baby."
When she leaves, Ethan asks Jesse to carry in his stuff, because he has to go.
"I can't. I'm in the middle of..."
"Thanks. I love you."
"Stop saying that!"
Scene 4: Straight Flatmate Abi and her boyfriend Tom (Sean Delaney) worry about telling the others the big news. But at least they're happy: "We did it. We finessed life. Endgame." They kiss eight times -- I counted. I thought you had a low libido?
More after the break
Scene 5: While waiting to move to the new flat, Lesbian Flatmate Sam is staying in a hippie commune with her ex-girlfriend. She's introduced to Leon the Head Hippie (John Tothill, but with long hair and a beard), who compliments her piece on the political aesthetic of the Kardashians. He explains the wacky rules.
Her room is awful, exposed wood and stained mattress. "I love it!" Sam exclaims.
Scene 6: Ethan tries to repair the hole in the wall of the old place using youtube videos and a variety of hardware-store products. He gives up and watches videos until Flatmate Sam calls: he's late. He missed the pre-club drinking and drugs, and now they're waiting for him at the club.
Cut to the line to get into Club Slutpig. Flatmate Sam yealls at him because everyone else in the line is a gay male. "You said this would be diverse." "I thought you meant racially." Everyone else in the line is white, too.
Tom is going into homophobicc panic, worrying that he'll be hit on: "Am I going to be ok? Because obviously I'm not gay." Who could tell? You're hugging a girl, sure, but Ethan is holding hands with a girl who is "the love of his life." Everybody is a little hetero in this world.
It costs 40 quid ($53 U.S.) to get in, the line isn't moving, and it smells bad, so they decide to skip it. Dang, I wanted to see the inside.
Scene 7: While waiting for the Uber, each reveals their secret.
Ethan didn't fix the hole, so now they won't get the deposit back, which they need for the deposit for the new place.
Flatmate Abi is moving in with her boyfriend Tom. But the other two don't have jobs, so they won't be to produce the proof of income necessary to move into the new place. They rail on her: "So basically your life is over. You're going to get married and buy a house and never have any fun again. Why are you in such a hurry to get old?" I thought only gay men and lesbians felt oppressed by the job-house-wife-kids trajectory.
"Why are you still pretending to be a child?"
They all go their separate ways, hating each other, no longer friends (or the loves of each other's lives, I assume).
Scene 8: Ethan took some kind of drug on the bus, and he's (censored)," so he rushes home to Jesse, kisses him, and says "I want you to top me like I'm nothing." Wait -- the bottom is nothing? I thought he was, you know, an equal partner. Ethan has some self-esteem issues.
But when they start, Jesse yells "Ow, ow, ow! It's too big! It hurts."
(It goes on like that for awhile. Full dialogue on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
Scene 9: In bed later, Ethan muses on the transience of life. Friendships change, they end. We grow old. Dude, you're 24. Try being..um...try remembering when "Disco Queen" was on the top of the charts."By the way, Flatmate Abi backed out on the move, and Flatmate Sam and I can't afford the place by ourselves, so I'll be staying here forever."
"No way, bro. I said you could stay here for a few days. We're not even together." Big reveal: Ethan has been lying about their romantic status. "You got to find somewhere else."
Angry, Ethan starts to get dressed -- and throws up.
With nowhere else to go, Ethan returns to the flat that they're vacating. The narrator tells us that at age 24, Ethan's great-grandfather was fighting Nazis, his grandfather had met the love of his life, and his father had met the most beautiful woman in the world -- who would introduce him to the love of his life. Dang, you just lost two girlfriends, plus a hot dude.
But both flatmates are there, working on the hole! They reconcile! Wait -- did Abi decide not to move in with Tom?
Beefcake: Jesse's chest, Ethan's backside, a s*x scene.
Other Sights: Only some random streets that could be anywhere. No London landmarks.
Gay Characters: Several.
Heterosexism: The eight kisses were uncalled-for, and there's a straight-subtext romance between Ethan and the two girls. Well, not really subtexts. He does say that they're the loves of his life.
My Grade: I don't care for all the drug use and the "spit in my mouth" stuff. Ethan is such a jerk, I can't imagine what the other two flatmates see in him. But he's cute, and we will be seeing a lot of hot guys, like Dane Williams of Overcompensating, who Ethan will start dating. B
On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Dane's d*ck.
See also: Overcompensating: Gay college boy wants a hetero bang to prove his worth. With no plot twists but a lot of cute guys.
Adults: Yet another "Friends" clone, but with more gay/bi guys, kissing, and c*cks
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