Sep 20, 2024

Ryan Pinkston: Hottest of the Short Guy Brigade, martial artist, teen jerk, gigolo, gay cop. With costar dicks



Link to the dicks

I've never been interested in tall guys; I like them short, the shorter the better, and in the 2000s, the 5'4" Ryan Pinkston was one of the hottest of the Short Guy Brigade

Born in Silver Spring, Maryland, a suburb of Washington DC, Ryan got his start in martial arts: he received his black belt in Wushu Kung Fu at age nine and went on to championships in karate, kung fu, and tae kwan do.

An interview on the Jenny Jones talk show landed him an agent, and within a month he had roles in Spy Kids: 3D (2003) and Bad Santa (2003), and he was helping Austin Kutcher play celebrity pranks on Punked.

But there was a problem.  Although handsome, muscular -- and short -- Ryan was typecast as an aggressive wise guy, basically a jerk. So that's the sort of role he received




In 2004, the 16-year old got his own tv series, Quintuplets, about teenage quintuplets with conflicting personalities.  His Patton was pushy and aggressive; brother Parker (Jake McDorman, left) was the athlete, and Pearce (Johnny K. Lewis, below) was the nerd, who actually danced with another boy in a "prom" episode.

Johnny K. Lewis is nude on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Next came the boorish Felch in Revenge of the Nerds (2006), chronic liar Sam Leonard in Full of It (2007), and Fletcher in the homophobic College (2008), which paradoxically offered an extensive homoerotic subtext.

Ryan's guest spots on the teencoms Out of Jimmy's Head and Hannah Montana were a little better, jerks with a soft, sensitive side.

But then he hit the bottom of the barrel: teen sex comedies. Foreign Exchange (2008), Extreme Movie (2008) with Frankie Muniz, Adventures in Online Dating (2009).



At least he had no problem with shirtless, shower, swimsuit, and semi-nude shots, although he drew the line at nudity.  And he was fine with rolling around with other guys naked.  Teens could sigh over the homoerotic subtexts even if they didn't like his characters.
 
But then, in 2010, something remarkable happened: a complete turnaround.  Ryan's characters changed from jerks to nice guys, and coincidentally some buddy-bonding was added to the girl-crazy schtick.

Boy Band (2010): 
in 1982, his Greg buddy-bonds with Brad (Michael Copon) to form the first boy band in history.


Tower Prep 
(2010), about a school for kids with paranormal powers: his Gabe has a crush on Ian Archer (Drew Van Acker).

Cougars, Inc. (2011): his Jimmy and best friend Sam (Kyle Gallner) can't afford college tuition, so start an escort service pairing older women with teenage boys.  Hey, is that legal? Of course, they get in on the action, too.  We get a nice shot of Ryan's butt as the camera lingers on his supine body, but this only nudity in any movie.




Frontal nudity after the break





Kyle Gallner demonstrated that he...or his dildo...had 8" in Cherry (2010), about a college boy who romances an older woman, her teenage daughter, and the Girl Next Door.  Guess which he ends up with.


Gay-positive roles for Ryan followed. Clipped (2015) was an 8-episode summer-replacement sitcom starring Ryan as former high school outcast who hires the dreams-deferred popular kids to work in his wacky barber shop. The former owner who still hangs around, Buzzy (George Wendt), is gay, and marries his partner.  There are other gay characters and references to the AIDS Walk.

Although a scene in Clipped has the guys in the shower at the gym, and shocked by the size of Ryan's wang, I didn't find a lot of potential dick pics online.  I found one that may be a possibility, but isn't that arm in the upper left tattooed?





Next came four episodes of the revamped Will and Grace as a closeted, married-to-a -woman cop, who is anxious to try everything gay, including brunch.  He starts dating Jack, and even leaves his wife so they don't have to pretend anymore, scaring the commitment-phobic femme into dumping him.

And 17 episodes of Young Rock as Downtown Bruno, the young Dwayne's mentor and sometime roommate.  






Ryan's Instagram has a lot of beefcake photos that mostly women comment on and pictures of the wife and kids.  He's a traditional family man, but at least he's gay positive.



















And short.








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