In dramas about crime families, the youngest son is traditionally gay -- think Deran in Animal Kingdom, Ian in Shameless, and Kelvin in The Righteous Gemstones. So I'm reviewing the first episode of Gangs of London, on Netflix, to see if the traditionl continues.
Scene 1: An upside-down view of a cityscape. Telling us that this is an alternate world? No, it's a guy hanging upside down from a tall building, crying and begging Sean (Joe Cole, left) not to kill him. But he says "What choice do I have?", douses him with gasoline and sets him on fire. Soon the rope snaps, and the burning body falls. Kind of an overkill.
Scene 2: Irish Traveler Darren (Aled ap Stefan), who apparently works as a hit man, gets a new assignment -- "nobody, just some pedo," and invites his Buddy ( Darren Evans) along. They park, and Darren goes up the stairs to an apartment, where he waits to shoot the guy.
Downstairs, the Buddy has trouble from a group of toughs. Then Finn Wallace arrives! The hit is on the head of the biggest, most important, most brutal crime family in London! He tries to call Darren, tell him to cancel the job, he's not who they said, but it's too late, Finn Wallace goes upstairs, and Darren shoots him.
Meanwhile, his Driver Jack ( Emmet J. Scanlan) is terrorizing the Buddy. When he hears the shot, he runs to the car for his gun. All the Buddy can think to do is run him over.
Emmet's dick is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends
Scene 4: Sons Billy and Sean (Brian Vernel, Joe Cole) play Dad's favorite song, "Suzy Q," so loud that everyone is disturbed.
A female gang lord yells that it's obvious who did it: Dad was killed in one of Luanne's buildings, and his driver disappeared in his territory. His? I thought Luanne was a girl's name. It turns out that the male Luann Dushaj, played by Orli Shuka, is the head of the Albanian mafia.
Scene 7: After the funeral, a police officer shows Family Advisor Alex security cam footage of Dad's Driver being loaded into a van. Henchman Elliot, played by Sope Dirisu, recognizes it as belonging to Besmir, one of the Albanians.
Plot Twist: Billy the Gay One is actually the older brother, but he has been forbidden from participating in the family business because he is gay and a recovering heroin addict, and therefore too fragile for violence, so he doesn't do anything but hang out in gay sex parties presented as the height of immoral decadence, looking morose. Your brother lights people on fire and throws them off buildings, and getting a blow job is immoral?
Beefcake: Some nude guys here and there, penises at the sex party.
Scene 3: While Darren soaks in a tub, being horrified, the family gathers for the funeral.
We meet Family Advisor Alex (Paapa Essidue) and a little boy named Danny, who may grow up into a main character. The costumes seem a little quaint, so I'm thinking that this is all a flashback
They watch the guests arriving, wondering if any of them ordered the hit.
Scene 4: Sons Billy and Sean (Brian Vernel, Joe Cole) play Dad's favorite song, "Suzy Q," so loud that everyone is disturbed.
We saw Sean being brutal in Scene 1. Billy is the gay one, and a recovering heroin addict, naturally.
Left: Horror Hunks claims that this is Brian Vernel, but the one in Gangs of London is younger, with black hair
Family Advisor Alex advises them to not look for the killer, or they'd have a war on their hands.
More dicks after the break
Scene 5: The crime lords of London meeting, asking when they'll open the docks so they can start pushing their illegal product again. Family Advisor Alex explains that they have to deal with the matter of succession, maintain liaisons with corrupt cops, and so on. Besides, Sean yells, none of their businesses will continue until he finds out which of them ordered the hit on his father.
A female gang lord yells that it's obvious who did it: Dad was killed in one of Luanne's buildings, and his driver disappeared in his territory. His? I thought Luanne was a girl's name. It turns out that the male Luann Dushaj, played by Orli Shuka, is the head of the Albanian mafia.
Scene 6: Billy the Gay One is snooping around in his Dad's office when an older woman, maybe his Mum, comes in with a belt, helps him on with it, and tries to grope him? He bats her hand away, and she says "Not today, Billy." So Billy is regularly having sex with his mother, and she's angry because he's not in the mood on the day of his father's funeral? Give him some mourning time, Jocasta!
Scene 7: After the funeral, a police officer shows Family Advisor Alex security cam footage of Dad's Driver being loaded into a van. Henchman Elliot, played by Sope Dirisu, recognizes it as belonging to Besmir, one of the Albanians.
Family Advisor Alex orders his goons to go with henchman Elliot to the Albanians' pub and politely inquire about the whereabouts of Besmir the Albanian. Instead, they punch Elliot, rush into the bar, and start breaking heads
Scene 8: Elliot intervenes and destroys everyone in a fight sequence that lasts about five minutes He chases Besmir (Florist Bajgora) through the mean streets until he falls off a ledge and breaks his leg. He yells "Take me to him!", meaning Dad's abducted Driver. Just then, other guys show up carrying guns. The end.
The Netflix version is only 50 minutes long, but the version listed on the IMDB is 93 minutes long. These additional scenes have been postponed to Episode 2.
Remember Darren, who shot Dad in the first place? He and Buddy are hiding out, apparently sleeping in the same bed, when his own estranged Dad takes him to a new hideout, leaving Buddy to be killed when the gangsters burst in.
Henchman Eliot, actually an undercover cop, bursts into the hideout and kills everyone, but Darren is already gone.
Ed Dumani, Colm's advisor, kills the driver, Jack, to keep him from blabbing Colm's secrets.
Plot Twist: Billy the Gay One is actually the older brother, but he has been forbidden from participating in the family business because he is gay and a recovering heroin addict, and therefore too fragile for violence, so he doesn't do anything but hang out in gay sex parties presented as the height of immoral decadence, looking morose. Your brother lights people on fire and throws them off buildings, and getting a blow job is immoral?
When his friend dies of a heroin overdose, Billy springs into action: he's going to track down the gangster responsible, and kill him! Brother Sean advises him not to get involved, because, you know, he's gay and fragile, but we flash back to their childhood: Dad ordered Sean to shoot a guy, but he couldn't do it. So Billy picked up the gun and offed him. He's capable of even more violence than his brother! The end.
Beefcake: Some nude guys here and there, penises at the sex party.
Gay Characters: Darren has a gay-subtext romance with his Buddy, and doesn't appear to get a girlfriend before being killed. Billy has a swishy-queen boyfriend who appears in two episodes. A synopsis has him "starting a new life" with his sister and her daughter. Geez, isn't your mom enough?
Incest: Several subtexts.
Will I Keep Watching: Not if Billy turns straight.
See also: The Twelve Bare Butts of Animal Kingdom
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