Link to the nude photos
Scene 1: Randall is upset because Dwayne didn't invite him to lunch with his best friend Forest Whitaker. They're boyfr....buddies. Shouldn't he be invited by default? Besides, it's only 24 hours until the presidential election; shouldn't Dwayne be out there, campaigning in battleground states?
No, Dwayne says, he always goes his own way. A story to illustrate:
Scene 2: In 1996, Dwayne is getting some wrestling experience in Memphis, living with his buddy Downtown Bruno, Ryan Pinkston, in a decrepit trailer with no ceiling.
Bruno is down on his luck. He moved from playing a heel, Dr. Harvey Winkelman, to managing heels, but now he is just a referee for Jerry "The King" Lawler, Michael Strassner.
Strassner cock on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends
They discuss his ring name. Since his dad was Rocky, maybe Rocky Junior? His family suggests Little Chief, his friends the Wild Half-Samoan.
Scene 3: In the locker room, Dwayne has been booked on a tag team, but they still need his name. He says "Flex Kavana."
Back in 2034, Randall is surprised that it wasn't the Rock right away. No, Flex, because he's muscular, and Kavana, because it sounds Polynesian.
His tag team partner, Brian Lawler, played by Marcus Molyneaux, approaches. They knew each other as kids: Brian used to set up rings for Dwayne's Dad. He's hot now, so his ring name is Too Sexy Brian.
They film one of those bragging promos, but Dwayne flub it by saying "We're naughty by nature but violent by decision."
More after the break.
Scene 4: In the locker room, everyone is laughing at Dwayne's "violent by decision" flub. Billy Crane (James Wright) who sets the lineups, bosses Bruno around.
Scene 5: On the way to their next match, Dwayne advises Downtown Bruno to stand up to Billy Crane, since he has more authority. But Bruno advises appeasing him: he sets the lineup, so one flick of his pen, and you don't get any matches to referee, and you can't pay the rent on your decrepit trailer.
Scene 6: Uh-oh, they're entering a small town in Tennessee. Dwayne ducks down, and advises the black guy to do the same, so they don't get shot by bigoted rednecks. Um...Brian tells him that town has a black mayor, the comptroller is gay, and the sister city is San Francisco. Bruno adds that there's a statue of a panda wearing an earring in the town square. "Sorry, old habits." In real life, Downtown Bruno is very homophobic.
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Scene 7: Billy Crane wrestles, too. A heel, he hits referee Bruno to get a crowd reaction. But you don't strike the referee! The guy is a real-life jerk.
Later, Bruno, Dwayne, and Brian are watching a Steve Austin match, back when he was a heel, and criticizing his persona. But he has good mic work, that banter where you insult your opponent and brag about your ability.
Scene 8: Dwayne, Bruno, and Brian are driving all over Tennessee, doing eight matches a week, a gruelling schedule, but it helped him draw a fan base.
But Dwayne still needs help with his mic work, so he's listening to tapes and getting notes from the other guys.
Scene 9: Uh-oh, before the match, Billy Crane displays brass knuckles. Referee Bruno disqualifies him and stops the match, but Billy claims that he was just joking; he wouldn't have actually used them. He grabs the mic and starts insulting the "loser who makes $15 per match."
Dwayne has had enough: he grabs the mic and calls out Billy Crane for bullying. Besides, his scrawny, "asparagus-smelling, Amy Grant-listening, little baby bird ass" can't compete with the "greatest body that Memphis has ever known," Dwayne's.
In the locker room, everyone congratulates Dwayne for taking down the bully and for improving his mic work. But will Billy Crane retaliate by taking his name off the lineups from now on?
Scene 10: The retaliation starts when Billy Crane books him in a single match against The King, the best heel in the business. And during mic work, he ups the challenge: "If you win, you are the champ. If you lose, you leave Memphis forever." But they haven't rehearsed this! Dwayne doesn't even know if he's supposed to win or lose.Left: Young Rock's butt. You may have seen it before -- he only gets naked on screen once.
He tries to ask during their match. The King tells him: "you got the call. You're headed for the WWE. Congratulations! Oh, and you're supposed to lose." The match isn't in retaliation, it's to showcase Dwayne!
Scene 11: Dwayne thanks Bruno for letting him stay in the trailer by fixing it up, installing a new ceiling. They hug.
In Connecticut, WWF head Vince McMahon meets with Dwayne to discuss his debut --at Madison Square Garden! But change the name: his dad and granddad were both professional wrestlers, so turn that into his name. How about Rocky Malvia? Later, the Rock.
Scene 12: Back in 2034, Forest Whitaker comes in with Julian, Sean Astin, who has been feuding with Dwayne since they were kids. "He said that Rocky wasn't my real Dad." "Well, he tried to kill me." The end.
Beefcake: Lots of locker room wrestlers.
Heterosexism: One of the wrestlers mentions having a girlfriend.
Gay Subtext: Dwayne and Randall, Dwayne and Downtown Bruno.
My Grade: A
Bonus: James Wright in the shower. I don't think it's the same guy who plays Billy Crane.
See also: Young Rock Episode 2.8: The Rock hits the big time, with lots of locker room bulges.
Gemstones Episode 2.1: Junior likes cocks, Kelvin likes pecs, and f*k yeah, we got both.
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