Link to the n*de dudes
This is huge. This is Glenn and Zy holding hands on Solar Opposites, Finn on a date with a boy in Unprisoned, Scotty telling Gideon "You knock me out" on The Righteous Gemstones.
This is Kurt Russell smiling at Patrick Dawson on a dreary November night many years ago, the smile that gave me the first clue that two boys can fall in love.
A few weeks ago, I reviewed Episode 1.2 of the Hulu sports series Chad Powers: several years after he was cancelled for being an a-hole, footballer Russ (Glen Powell) tries to get into the game by pretending to be high school superstar Chad Powers and playing for he South Georgia State College Catfish.
He is assisted by Danny (Frankie Rodriguez), the team mascot, who gives him a place to stay, provides his prosthetic cheeks, and makes sure that the back story details he ad-libs are consistent.
They aren't at all consistent, but Coach Hudson (Steve Zahn) is desperate for a winning season, so he doesn't dig too deeply.Danny displays a few queer codes, but doesn't express any same-sex interest. Frankie Rodriguez stated in an interview that it's nice to play a gay character where being gay is not the main thing about him, but I wasn't happy. Most viewers won't notice, or will dismiss the queer codes with "Straight guys do that. It doesn't make him gay."
Then came Episode 1.4. I'll do a brief synopsis to get to the jaw-dropping part.
Scene 1: On the bus en route to an away game in Knoxville, the Coach presumes that Chad/Russ and Danny are boyfriends, even though they aren't sitting together. He personally doesn't care, but they will in Tennessee, so keep it closeted.
Chad/Russ claims that they're not boyfriends, they're brothers: Danny's family fostered him for a few years, and then Chad/Russ's family fostered Danny. This makes no sense, and doesn't fit the established back story at all, but the Coach just shrugs. Whatever, he's a good player.
Scene 2: At the hotel, Assistant Coach Dobbs (Clayne Crawford, right) cautions the players to not "spread any cheeks" tonight, so they'll be rested for the big game (while looking directly at Chad/Russ, also assuming that he and Danny are boyfriends).
Bedtime is 11:00 pm. If you're not in your room by bed check, you don't play tomorrow.
Scene 3: Problem: someone left the cap off the glue, so there's no way to affix Russ's prosthetic cheeks. The ones he is wearing will fall apart by morning. What to do?
"There must be prosthetic glue somewhere in Knoxville," Russ suggests.
The other players have invited some fans, including Mean Girl Sasha, to a pre-bedtime party in their room. Russ and Danny steal her car keys so they can drive to a Halloween store.
Noticing the messiness of Mean Girl Sasha's car, Russ exclaims "Girls are gross!"
"But not Assistant Coach Ricky? Don't you have a crush on her?"
"Heck, no. She's just nice, that's all." So you don't like girls, Russ? I did notice that you brought a dude to the club in Episode 1. "And she's being nice to Chad, not Russ."
"Yeah, she'd hate Russ. She's not into f*kboys." A f*kboy is someone who treats his partners like objects. So Danny doesn't think of Russ as a potential partner because he wants something more meaningful?
Scene 3: At the Halloween store, Russ notices his face on a Halloween costume: "A-Hole Quarterback." He's depressed, but Danny tries to console him by suggesting that the model was another a-hole "with frosted tips and a cubic zirconia ear stud."
A big guy bought the last bottle of glue, and is using it to apply a mask. Russ wants Danny to ask him for the glue, but he refuses: "Bears are not my type." What about A-hole quarterbacks?
So Russ approaches and starts a conversation. It's a mask of the rival team; he's planning to wear it to the game tomorrow in honor of his dad.
While they are talking, Danny steals the glue. That's a lot of theft, buddy. Aren't you supposed to be encouraging Russ to become a better person?
Scene 4: The Bear notices and chases them out of the store.
Another problem: Someone broke into the car and stole their stuff, including Danny's $180 airpods and the prosthetic cheeks!
They track down the guy, but he starts shooting, so they run away. And Russ cut his hand on the broken glass in the car!
Scene 5: The wait at the ER is too long --bed check is in an hour -- so Russ orders Danny to find some bandages. He'll take care of his injury himself.
Danny: "You can't order me around. Am I your employee?"
Russ: "I don't wanna litigate the nature of our...whatever this is...right now." It's a friendship. Why is it so hard to define? Unless....
Danny is incensed over his refusal to name their relationship "Our whatever? I save your *ss again and again and again..."
Russ: "You're just hanging out with me because of Chad. Chad makes you relevant."
More arguing. Each accuses the other of using him, not really loving...I mean caring about him, and finally Russ orders Danny to leave.
"Ok, if you don't need anyone, get your own goddam glue." He dumps the glue out onto the floor and storms out.
Russ sits there for awhile, upset over the breakup. Back to his problem: they use medical adhesive in hospitals. He steals some, bandages his hurt hand, and rushes back to the hotel.
The jaw-dropping scene after the break.
Scene 6: In the lobby, Russ runs into Assistant Coach Ricky (a girl, the one who is being nice to Chad). She recognizes him as washed-up footballer Russ, and he claims to know her because he watched the last game. They compliment each other's football records.
She has to leave to do bed checks, and stps into the elevator, but Russ stops her. To ask her out? No, to advise that she reconcile with her estranged father. He doesn't like girls, remember?
Uh-oh, he's missing bed check. But Danny pretends to be him to pass. Aww, dude still loves him.
The guys reconcile with a hug.
Scene 7: They have the glue, but Danny still has to mold some new prostetic cheeks. No, Russ wants to help, a first for him.
Montage of the guys molding and being playful, while "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera plays. This is the scene where Christine and Raoul confess their love:
I'm here -- nothing can harm you.
My words will warm and calm you.
Say you'll love me, every waking moment.
Promise me that all you say is true.
Love me -- that's all I ask of you.
Is it getting warm in here?
In the Scotty-Gideon scenes in The Righteous Gemstones, we frequently hear just a line or two of the song, with the unheard lyrics going into detail about their romantic relationship. Not here -- all of the lyrics are broadcast, leading to the inevitable conclusion that the guys are in love.
Scene 8: Cut to the game. The Catfish win. Russ insists that the mascot (played by Danny) be photographed with the rest of the team. Assistant Coach Ricky takes Russ's advice and reconciles with her father. They hug.
Scene 9: In the bus on the way home, the guys sit together. And fall asleep with Russ/Chad's head on Danny's shoulder.
That voice which calls to me and speaks my name.
And do I dream again? For now I find
The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind
Bonus: I was so excited about the queer codes that I didn't bother with n*de photos (except Clayne, above). So I posted some random guys from..I don't know, Tennessee or Florida or someplace.
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