OMG, some jaw-dropping queer codes on "Chad Powers." Russ and Danny are in love! With Zahn backside, Clayne d*ck, and some random Tennessee dudes

  

Link to the n*de dudes

This is huge.  This is Glenn and Zy holding hands on Solar Opposites,  Finn on a date with a boy in Unprisoned, Scotty telling Gideon "You knock me out" on The Righteous Gemstones. 

This is Kurt Russell smiling at Patrick Dawson on a dreary November night many years ago, the smile that gave me the first clue that two boys can fall in love. 

 A few weeks ago, I reviewed Episode 1.2 of the Hulu sports series Chad Powers: several years after he was cancelled for being an a-hole, footballer Russ (Glen Powell) tries to get into the game by pretending to be high school superstar Chad Powers and playing for  he South Georgia State College Catfish.  

He is assisted by Danny (Frankie Rodriguez), the team mascot, who gives him a place to stay, provides his prosthetic cheeks, and makes sure that the back story details he ad-libs are consistent.

They aren't at all consistent,  but Coach Hudson (Steve Zahn) is desperate for a winning season, so he doesn't dig too deeply.

Danny displays a few queer codes, but doesn't express any same-sex interest.  Frankie Rodriguez stated in an interview that it's nice to play a gay character where being gay is not the main thing about him, but I wasn't happy.  Most viewers won't notice, or will dismiss the queer codes with "Straight guys do that.  It doesn't make him gay."

Then came Episode 1.4.  I'll do a brief synopsis to get to the jaw-dropping part.

Scene 1: On the bus en route to an away game in Knoxville, the Coach presumes that Chad/Russ and Danny are boyfriends, even though they aren't sitting together.  He personally doesn't care, but they will in Tennessee, so keep it closeted.  

Chad/Russ claims that they're not boyfriends, they're brothers: Danny's family fostered him for a few years, and then Chad/Russ's family fostered Danny.  This makes no sense, and doesn't fit the established back story at all, but the Coach just shrugs.  Whatever, he's a good player.

Scene 2: At the hotel, Assistant Coach Dobbs (Clayne Crawford, right) cautions the players to not "spread any cheeks" tonight, so they'll be rested for the big game (while looking directly at Chad/Russ, also assuming that he and Danny are boyfriends). 

Bedtime is 11:00 pm.  If you're not in your room by bed check, you don't play tomorrow. 

Scene 3: Problem: someone left the cap off the glue, so there's no way to affix Russ's prosthetic cheeks.  The ones he is wearing will fall apart by morning.  What to do?

"There must be prosthetic glue somewhere in Knoxville," Russ suggests. 

The other players have invited some fans, including Mean Girl Sasha, to a pre-bedtime party in their room. Russ and Danny steal her car keys so they can drive to a Halloween store.

Noticing the messiness of Mean Girl Sasha's car, Russ exclaims "Girls are gross!" 

"But not Assistant Coach Ricky?  Don't you have a crush on her?"

"Heck, no.  She's just nice, that's all."  So you don't like girls, Russ?  I did notice that you brought a dude to the club in Episode 1.   "And she's being nice to Chad, not Russ."

"Yeah, she'd hate Russ.  She's not into f*kboys." A f*kboy is someone who treats his partners like objects.  So Danny doesn't think of Russ as a potential partner because he wants something more meaningful?

Scene 3: At the Halloween store, Russ notices his face on a Halloween costume: "A-Hole Quarterback."  He's depressed, but Danny tries to console him by suggesting that the model was another a-hole "with frosted tips and a cubic zirconia ear stud."  

A big guy bought the last bottle of glue, and is using it to apply a mask.  Russ wants Danny to ask him for the glue, but he refuses: "Bears are not my type."  What about A-hole quarterbacks?

So Russ approaches and starts a conversation.  It's a mask of the rival team; he's planning to wear it to the game tomorrow in honor of his dad.  

While they are talking, Danny steals the glue.  That's a lot of theft, buddy. Aren't you supposed to be encouraging Russ to become a better person?  

Scene 4: The Bear notices and chases them out of the store. 

Another problem: Someone broke into the car and stole their stuff, including Danny's $180 airpods and the prosthetic cheeks! 

They track down the guy,  but he starts shooting, so they run away.  And Russ cut his hand on the broken glass in the car! 

Scene 5: The wait at the ER is too long --bed check is in an hour -- so Russ orders Danny to find some bandages.  He'll take care of his injury himself.

Danny: "You can't order me around. Am I your employee?"

Russ: "I don't wanna litigate the nature of our...whatever this is...right now."  It's a friendship.  Why is it so hard to define?  Unless....

 Danny is incensed over his refusal to name their relationship "Our whatever? I save your *ss again and again and again..."

Russ:  "You're just hanging out with me because of Chad.  Chad makes you relevant." 

More arguing.  Each accuses the other of using him, not really loving...I mean caring about him, and finally Russ orders Danny to leave.  

"Ok, if you don't need anyone, get your own goddam glue."  He dumps the glue out onto the floor and storms out.

Russ sits there for awhile, upset over the breakup.  Back to his problem: they use medical adhesive in hospitals.  He steals some, bandages his hurt hand, and rushes back to the hotel.  

The jaw-dropping scene after the break.  

Joe Davidson: The gladiator, surfer, soap star, and gator poacher doesn't mind if you check out his d*ck. With bonus Thomas Jane and Takaya

Link to the n*de dudes

In Spartacus: House of Ashur Episode 1.1, Gladiator Logus (Joe Davidson) insults the dwarf trio Brothers Ferox: "My d*ck stands larger threats!" They promptly eviscerate him.

During the filming, Joe hooked up with (or buddied up with) the probably gay Mikey Thompson (Musicus).  Plus a brief internet search revealed this photo from the soap Neighbours: Joe's character apparently has a boyfriend.

Plus there are no girls and a lot of guys on his social media posts.  That's enough for more extensive research to determine if Joe is gay in real life, has played gay characters, or both.  Hopefully both.  

Born around 1992 or 1993, Joe grew up on Australia's ritzy Gold Coast, around Brisbane, and began on-screen acting in some teen series:

A diver in an episode of H2O: Just Add Water (2010), about three teenager girls who turn into mermaids (with Luke Mitchell as their human ally).

A swimmer in SLIDE (2011): A Melbourne girl moves to Brisbane and finds the requisite allies, crushes, and enemies, including a gay-ish boyfriend.

A surfer boy in Mako Mermaids (2013), with those three teenage mermaids up to new antics.  A merman (Chai Hanson) is added to the cast.

Joe also meets a mermaid while grieving over his dead father in Glass Tunnel (2013).  

Plus he worked at Warner Brothers Movie World, a theme park in Queensland, playing characters like Edward Scissorhands and Fred from Scooby Doo.

After graduating from the "prestigious three-year program" at Actors Central Australia in Sydney, Joe was cast in his first major role, playing Cassius Grady in the soap opera Neighbours (2017-2018).   He appears as a muscular mystery man at a Guy Fawkes Day party on the same night that the evil Hamish Roche is murdered.  Hamish's son Tyler is the chief suspect.

Cassius goes on to save Tyler's girlfriend from a capsized boat, start dating her, rescue a kidnapped baby, get a job as a gardener, and finally admit that he was the one who murdered Hamish (gasp) because he is the evil guy's long-estranged son (double gasp). 

Um...Cassius was straight, buddy. 

Maybe there are some gay roles in his later work?

Stranded (2018): A British soldier is stranded with a lady.  They smooch in the water. 

Abandoned (2018).  What do you think?

Sons of Summer (2023):  A surfer brings his buds on a trip to the Gold Coast town where his dad was murdered, and runs afoul of murderous drug dealers.  He's got a girlfriend.

Anyone But You (2023); Ben (Glen Powell) and Bea don't like each other, but Bea's sister is marrying Ben's friend Pete's sister, and for some reason they have to pretend to be a couple at the wedding.  Joe plays the current boyfriend of Ben's ex girlfriend, who dumps him for Bea's ex-boyfriend. It's based on Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, so you've got to expect some partner switching. 

Joe shows his backside to demonstrate that he's much hotter than Ben.

He shows his d*ck too (after the break).

'Chad Powers": A-hole footballer disguised as a college student, with a gay roommate and lots of bare chests. And other stuff

Link to the n*de dudes

I have no interest in -- or knowledge of -- football, but when the new Hulu series Chad Powers is advertised by two hunks gazing at each other, ready to fight or kiss, what choice do I have?  

Wait -- the two hunks are both Glen Powell, who you recall from Scream Queens and Top Gun: Maverick.  He's playing Russ Holliday, a famous college football player who was cancelled after an altercation with a kid in a wheelchair (and various other a-hole acts).  He schemes to get back into the game by creating a new identity, Chad Powers, and playing for the  struggling Catfish football team at South Georgia College (like, he's catfishing them, har har).  Presumably he'll take classes, too.   

Glenn's butt on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

In Episode 1.1, he steals a lot of supplies from his Oscar-winning makeup artist Dad to create the character, goes to the campus, and has a meet-cute with team mascot Danny (Frankie Rodriguez), a fashion-and-pop culture junkie who offers to help him with the deception.  "Your new identity needs to be a modest, likeable guy.  Just play the opposite of yourself."  Danny is also a makeup artist. Dude is obviously gay.  

I'm reviewing Episode 1.2, where Russ tries to maintain his new identity at a party at the coach's lake house -- shirtless hunks are promised.

Scene 1:  Russ and Danny are behind the building, near the dumpsters.  Russ roils at his prosthetic cheeks, but Danny insists: "You have to become Chad Powers. But don't talk much."  Dylan (Jordan Mendoza) arrives with his new identification materials and transcripts, "but I couldn't find him a home address."  No problem, he can stay with Danny.  Tell me more. 

Gross -- there's a bug burrowing into his prosthetic cheek!

Frankie Rodriguez is gay in real life, and has played gay characters in High School Musical: the Series, Modern Family, and Will and Grace.  I'm sure that Danny is gay, too, but they may not give us more than a few hints.

Scene 2:  Football practice.  Subplot involves the fussy Coach (Steve Zahn) and his assistant, secretly his daughter (doubtless also Russ's Love Interest). 

Coach calls up Russ/Chad to note a problem with his transcripts: he was homeschooled in West Virginia, in a wilderness surrounded by wolves (nope, no wolves east of Minnesota).  So how did he manage to play high school football?

"Oh, I played...um...with the wolves."

Um...ok, not a problem.  The Coach needs a winning season, or he'll be fired, so he's willing to suspend his disbelief.

Next Gerry (Colton Ryan), from the scout team and backup, introduces himself.  So far, we have five named male characters.  I'm getting a testosterone high. Who cares what a "scout team" and "backup" are?

80% of the photos Colton Ryan's Instagram show him hugging, kissing, and frolicking with a lady, and the other 20% show her alone, dressed as a man, showing her legs, smooching at the camera.  I'm guessing that he's straight. 

Back to Chad Powers: Gerry teaches Russ/Chad his secret handshake, "a p*ssy symbol, because I get a lot of it."  I know -- I've seen the first 300 pictures on your Instagram. 

Gerry may want to be friends, but the other players ridicule Russ/Chad, especially Bully Nishan (Xavier Mills).

They start the practice.  Russ/Chad screws up and is demoted to backup: "Hey, Flowers for Algernon, this is where you grab this clipboard." Literary reference, har har.

Football research: There are two quarterbacks on each team. The Starting Quarterback is chosen for his ability to draw photo-ops, fawning articles, and hefty donations from boosters.  The Backup does the grunt work while the other players call him names.  But if the Starting Quarterback is injured or traded to another team, won't the Backup take over, and the players who thought he was worthless will have to do what he says? 

On the sidelines, Russ/Chad asks his Love Interest why Coach demoted him to Backup.  "The Starting QB hasn't been decided yet," she assures him.  "Coach wants you and Gerry to compete for the role."  

More after the break.  

Scream Queens: Glen Powell and John Stamos compare dicks at a sinister hospital. And there's a serial killer. And some butts

 

I was recommended Glen Powell's shower scene in Episode 2.2 of the horror-comedy Scream Queens.  I watched ten minutes of the first episode when it premiered in 2015, and turned it off, but for a shower-scene why not give it another chance?

Link to NSFW version

The premise: this is a genre-bending horror-comedy about a serial killer stalking co-eds, all named Chanel, with the headmistress played by Jaime Lee Curtis, the Last Girl from Halloween.  

Scene 1: In the last episode, a swamp monster played by Jeremy Batiste killed a patient at the C.U.R.E. Institute, where "the incurable are curable." Wait, I thought we were at a college. The cop is not impressed, and thinks that Outcast Chanel did it..  Evil Dean Munsch, played by Jaime Lee Curtis, thinks that  thecop  is an idiot.

The other two Chanels also think that Outcast Chanel did it, out of frustration because she's so ugly no one will screw her: "The closest shes gotten to sex is when a bookshelf fell on her."  Why, did it have a book about sex? I don't get the joke.   And jealous because they scored hot dates with the Sleazoid Doctors, Brock and Cascade(Taylor Lautner, top photo, John Stamos).

Scene 2: The Sleazoid Doctors and Chanels are interviewing Tyler, played by Colton Haynes, who is covered with large orange tumors, actually not disgusting.  So the Chanels have graduated with nursing degrees, and all gone to work at the Institute, and the headmistress became their boss?  That's not at all unlikely.   

His  regular doctors say that it is incurable, but the Sleazoid Doctors think that  they can remove the tumors with a CO2 Laser.  Except they're too expensive; there aren't any at the center. So just transfer him to a facility that has one.

Scene 3: A non-Chanel nurse and Chamberlain, played by James Earl, wonder why, if Evil Dr. Munsch was upstairs during the murders, she didn't hear the screams and growling?  She must be in on it.

Last season, she was in charge of a college, and did some crazy shenanigans, but the Chanels foiled her scheme.  Dr. Munsch must have brought them here for revenge, sending the swamp monster  to pick them off one by one. So, what are her qualifications?  All she has is the honorary Ph.D. that the University of Pittxburgh took from Bill Cosby.

Scene 4:  Sleazoid Doctor #1 on his movie date with the Head Chanel. She reveals her favorite hobby: dropping popcorn on the floor, so the fatties feel bad about themselves.  He loves the idea!  

Meanwhile, Orange Boy and Outcast Chanel bond over stories of being the outcast in their cliques. He shows her a picture from before the orange tumors: he was hot!  She vows to get him the money for the CO2 Laser. 

More screaming after the break