Link to the n*de dudes
I am reminded of that quote when I think of the works of Steve Carrell: Anchorman, Dan in Real Life, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Cafe Society, Date Night, Dinner for Schmucks, The Morning Show, The Four Seasons, all about little men trying desperately to find meaning in jobs and wives that they hate. Coincidentally, this is precisely the "job, house, wife, kids" trajectory that I rebelled against growing up.
So I wasn't planning to watch the HBO MAX series Rooster (2026). Then the promo showed a young man telling Steve, "nice washboard (abs)," referring to the hunk on the cover of his book. Later he seems to become Steve's sidekick. So Steve probably writes gay novels, and probably has a gay sidekick. Enough potential to review Episode 1.
Scene 1: Famous novelist Greg Russo (Steve) looks morose as he is escorted through the elegant Spanish Colonial campus of Ludlow College (actually the University of the Pacific, Stockton). He sees a naked old guy, who waves -- but his escort, Eric (Myles Perez, left), doesn't see anyone. A hallucination?
Eric tells him to wait here, then zones him out and refuses to speak anymore. Fortunately, Professor Shepherd, who arranged his campus visit, is just walking up.
He's nervous -- he writes trashy beach novels, not literature: "Characters you like have sex, characters you don't like get shot in the face." Why would elite college students want to see him?
Scene 2: The reading, in a giant lecture hall. The students criticize his protagonist, Rooster, for describing the Girl in food terms during their 17 sexual acts (18, if you count the blow job). Isn't that sexist?
Russo counters that she is strong and powerful -- she rescues Rooster, remember? "But she takes off her bikini top to do it." A jock praises that scene: "The Girl is smokin'!" Hey, isn't he the gay sidekick? I'm starting to suspect that I've been tricked.
Scene 3: Next Russo meets the College President (John C. McGinley, the homophobic, sexist jerk on Scrubs). He strips to his underwear to show off his physique: "You're thinking, most college presidents are bookish shut-ins, but this guy is jacked!" He looks like the naked guy from earlier. So it wasn't a hallucination, just a crazy act that would never happen on any real college campus.They allude to a "sex scandal" involving Katie and Archie (not mentioned before), and the President offers Russo a job as Writer-in-Residence. "But I didn't even go to college." "Who cares? It's over-rated." Academic malaise at its snarkiest.
McGinley's backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
Scene 4: Next stop: Another giant lecture hall, a lecture on French impressionism, Monet at Giverny. It's Russo's daughter Katie, a professor of art history (and the sex scandal lady). As the students leave, she notes that her Dad doesn't like interacting with other humans, so they can get extra credit for looking him in the eye and saying "I love you very much." A student does it!
Next Katie points out that the college has asked Russo to do a reading a billion times; why agree now? "Admit it -- you're checking up on me, to see if I'm ok after the sex scandal." We finally find out what it is: her husband Archie dumped her for a grad student. Hetero Romance Problem #1.
She has no idea why. Everything was normal, and then she was moving into the dead hockey coach's house. Everybody on campus knows, and keeps staring at her and asking questions. And it's difficult to avoid running into him or his new girlfriend on a small campus. She's about to crack.
She points them out, sitting on a park bench. "The girlfriend isn't even hot. She's like a regular person. Why did he dump me for her?" Maybe he liked her personality?
As Russo peeks through the bushes, husband Archie and the girlfriend leave, and a lesbian couple notice him. They think he's a perv, har har. He runs away as they film him.
Spoiler alert: This is set up to have consequences, like Russo being arrested, or the job offer rescinded, but it is never mentioned again.
Scene 5: Russo stops at a convenience store for some water. Tommy (Maximo Salas), the jock from earlier, praises the Rooster books. Uh-oh, he forgot his id, so Russo buys his beer for him. If he's under 21, you're in big trouble, buddy.
More after the break
Outside the store, a Cop (Rory Scovel) approaches. Jock Tommy claims that Russo offered to buy the beer for him.
Angry, Russo asks "Why would I do that? For a blow job in the alley?"
Uh-oh, now the cop thinks that he gives blow jobs in alleys. And this is a bad thing because it takes place in public, right? If Russo invited the guy back to his hotel room, it would be ok, right?
Jock Tommy doesn't mind the gay implication, but he comes clean anyway and admits that he tricked Russo into buying the beer. Maybe he's gay after all.
Scene 6: Katie walks her dog past her old house, and decides to climb a tree so she can spy on her ex from an upstairs window. Her dog starts barking, and Ex-Husband Archie sees her!
Cut to Russo in a bar, asking the cute bartender about the house Chardonnay. "Tastes like shit." Does everybody here hate their job? Professor Shepherd, the lady who invited him to speak on campus, stops by, and they have a heart-to-heart.
Russo: When he was married, their friends constantly advised that he was not good enough for his wife, and when she finally dumped him, they asked "What took you so long?" Hetero Romance Problem #2.
I fast forwarded through the rest of his lengthy back story to Professor Shepherd: "I pretended it was for her, but it was really for me." So you're gay, lady? "I feel so isolated. I've already dated everyone worth dating on campus." Hetero Romance Problem #3, or do the dropped pronouns signify that you're gay?.
Nope, just a tease. Russo walks her home, and she invites him in for sex. She explains that this is one of the perks of inviting guest speakers to campus; she sleeps with almost all of them. Men and women? He finds her attractive, but refuses.
Scene 7: Ex-husband Archie (Phil Dunster) offers to drive his girlfriend to the dentist, but she insists on riding her bike. "Why do you need to go to the dentist, anyway?" "Because I hurt my arm." She's being sarcastic, but she is definitely hating on him. Hetero Romance Problem #4.
Russo drops by for a chat. "Do you still have that first edition Chekhov book that you're so proud of?"
"No, it's a first edition of Tolstoy's War and Peace." We see a huge dictionary-style book, but it was actually published in six volumes.
Next question: "Why did you cheat on my daughter?" Turns out that he thought Archie liked Chekhov, so he researched Chekhov all morning, and came up with an apropriate quote: "No one should be humiliated." Meaning: "You need to man up and get back together with her." Hetero Romance Problem #5
"Ok, I'll think about it."
Dunster d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
Scene 8: Katie tells Russo that her ex-husband Archie offered to reconcile. She is not happy about it. "He's stopped banging her, so I should run home and take off my clothes?"
"Nonsense. You should get back together," Russo exclaims. Why is he so heavily invested in this? It's none of his business.
Oh, it's because his wife cheated on him. He wanted to stay together anyway, but she insisted on leaving, which is why he hates himself and the world so much. If Katie doesn't go back with Archie, she will never enjoy anything again, not even for a moment. Really? I'm fast-forwarding through the rest of his awful advice.
Scene 9: The College President and a very uncomfortable Russo are in his home sauna, discussing its health benefits of heat followed by a cold plunge. He's disappointed that Russo turned down the job offer, but happy that Katie and Archie are reconciling, because otherwise he'd have to fire one of them, and it would be Katie. You can't fire someone for breaking up with their spouse.
In other news, College President is married, but hates his wife, so she's never around. Hetero Romance Problem #6.
Scene 10: Katie and Archie begin the reconciliation process: "How could you do this to me! This is why women snap and poison their husbands, and I have definitely considered killing you! So, let's get back together." Really?
"Sorry, my girlfriend is pregnant."
Katie kicks him out (of his own house), then burns his beloved first edition War and Peace in the fireplace. Hey, it's an English translation. I guess it had to be so viewers would know what she's burning.
The fire spreads. She tries to put it out, but the whole house goes up in flame.
Later, as they watch the smoking ruins, the Cop suggests that Katie and the "Blow Job Guy" are responsible. The end.
Beefcake: College President and Russo strip down.
Heterosexism: Constant. Over and over, but the husbands and wives all hate each other, so I'm not sure it counts.
Gay References: Just the lesbian couple and the Jock's nonchalance about the blow job. His "nice washboard" and becoming Russo's sidekick must come later.
Will I Keep Watching: Maybe, for Scotty and Jonah, and to see if the sidekick thing pops up later.
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