Gemstone Episode 4.5, Continued: Kelvin crashes, the Monkey fumes, and we find out who's bigger, Adam Devine or Joey Stefano

 Link to the n*de dudes

So far in this episode, we've learned that Vance Simkins has destroyed his parents' empire by being a violent, reactionary jerk; Lori's ex-boyfriends keep getting killed; and Kelvin's hubris is off the charts.  

Lori's Edibles: Lori and Eli want to give the siblings "some space," so they move to her house. Wait -- I thought she was living in Pigeon Forge.  If she's been living in Charleston the whole time, why hasn't she visited the Gemstones for years?

Corey meets them at the door: he dropped by to bring dinner, "Kung Pao Dynasty." Also, he left her edibles by the microwave.   Eli doesn't know what edibles are, so Miss Lori explains. Apparently he's ok with drug use now; he wasn't in earlier seasons.

Corey shakes Eli's hand and says "Have fun, you two," but as he walks away, he grimaces.  He's been killing the ex-boyfriends.

Meanwhile, Kelvin in a flamboyant costume is being photographed with the conservatively-dressed nominees for Top Christian Man. And it's time for the Live TV Roundtable.  

The full cast list is not in the episode credits or the IMDB, but I think the conservative minister being hugged by Kelvin is Chad Darnell, who is gay in real life.  He works primarily in casting, but he has 21 screen credits, and a lot of theater work, including the gay-themed Love! Valour! Compassion!, Forced, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Plus some gay-themed screenplays and two novels.

He's got a biopic coming out of of gay model and adult video star Joey Stefano (1968-1994), one of the icons of my years in West Hollywood.

By the way, Sean Ryan Fox will finally appear as Young Corey in Episode 4.6 .

No, I am not stalling.

How about a nice beefcake shot of Adam Devine?

Back to the roundtable discussion, led by Stevie from Eastbound and Down.  First question:"Should children be taught a comprehensive overview of all major religions in school?" 

Kelvin jumps in, but doesn't answer the question.  Instead, he blathers about "I teach my followers everything good about Jesus.  The Bible can be confusing, so we translate it for modern, cutting-edge times." You're not qualified to be a Bible translator.  How about explaining passages in their historical/cultural context?  

Vance complains about "a homosexual" being nominated for the award.  "God's Word is clear on this issue."  Uh-oh, how are you on the Clobber Verses, Kelvin?

He's not good on the Clobber Verses.  "Um...um..lots of parts of the Bible are outdated." No, they don't refer to contemporary gay people at all!  Get with your queer theology.

When I was just coming out, I jointed the gay-specific Metropolitan Community Church.  Most members were recovering from Evangelical trauma, so every sermon -- every sermon -- was about how being gay is not a sin or a defect.  Sometimes there was detailed exegesis of specific Clobber Verses (there are only five of them), sometimes just "God loves you."  

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.5: Baby Billy and Eli compete for Aimee-Leigh. Plus water sports and donkey ___

 

Link to the uncensored review

Title: "Interlude."  The interludes, set halfway through each season, are designed to clarify the conflicts and back stories, and to keep you in suspense after a major crisis. Here we flash back to 1989. when Eli and Aimee-Leigh were rich but not mega-rich, Baby Billy was hoping for a come-back after his child-star career, and young Jesse was jealous of his soon-to-be-born brother Kelvin. 

A Hot Piece of Tail:  This is the golden age of televangelism, with Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, and Jerry Falwell eating up the airwaves -- and blaming homa-sekshuls for everything from teen pregnancy to hurricanes/  They were especially eager to proclaim that homa-sekshuls were trying to destroy society by infecting straight people with AIDS.  In 1989, the number of new cases peaked at 80,000. 

Before the broadcast,  Aimee-Leigh walks around, being friendly to the crew.  Very diverse crew: -- old and young, black and white, women in jobs traditionally held by men, probably gay people.  She compliments Eli as "a hot piece of tail," and he agrees: "I'm sizzling hot."This seems a little gender-transgressive.  Men aren't typically referred to in this way.  Just before the curtain rises, Aimee-Leigh tells Eli, "I'm pregnant."  How playful, and borderline mean!

Family Dinner:  Lots of gross closeups of 1980s food.  When Aimee-Leigh says that she has news to share, Jesse guesses that Judy has been put up for adoption, and she guesses that he has AIDS. In 1989 evangelicals -- and most of the general public -- thought that only gay men contracted AIDS, so she is "accusing" him of being gay. 

No, Aimee-Leigh says without disciplining them, she is actually having a baby. Jesse wishes that she has a miscarriage, again without discipline, then backtracks: : "I will never like them.  They will never be my friend."  This is a call-back to the Episode 1.1 scene where Jesse is upset with Kelvin because "we used to be friends."  

Judy hopes that it's a boy, so she can teach him how to pee standing up.  Is she accusing Jesse of being a woman?

The Misbehavin' Tour: At the office, Baby Billy tells the Gemstones about his idea for a Misbehavin' Comeback Tour this spring.  But she can't do it: she is pregnant, due in July (in Season 2, Kelvin says that his birthday is near Christmas, but never mind).

Baby Billy insists that they go on the tour anyway, but she insists that she can't.  How about waiting until after the birth?  Nope.

The screenshot shows Baby Billy in pain, behind window slats that look like bars. He is trapped, unable to move beyond his child-star days, blaming Eli for ruining his life. In Season 3, Eli's other brother-in-law will blame him too, with more violent results.  

The Birthday Party:  After scenes where Jesse is caught arranging little-kid fights and complains that his parents are never around, a we cut to Judy's birthday party.  Kids eating food in disgusting ways (a regular trope in this episode); riding a slip-and-slide; riding ponies.  

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.2, Continued: Eli catches a snake, Christian poses, and Kelvin sees the Devil's Testicle

 

This is the censored version of the review, with no nude photos or erotic content. Link to the nude photos and erotic content

Confronting the Blackmailers: The siblings go to the hotel where the blackmailers are staying.  When they pass a breastfeeding mother, Judy gazes hungrily at the baby, a maternal desire that is not referenced again.  The desk clerk tells them that the blackmailers checked out today.  Dead end. 

The desk clerk asks if "the little boy" is Jesse and Judy's son.  Kelvin counters that he's "fully grown..an adult man."  His belief that everyone treats him like a kid will be central in Season 2.

The Testicle: Jesse, in Gideon's room, fidgets with his wedding ring, suggesting that he is worried about his marital problems.  Compare Kelvin's fidgeting with his wedding ring during his breakup with Keefe in Season 3.

He begins to pray, interspliced with shots of Amber playing the piano and Keefe spotting Kelvin on the bench press.  Suddenly Keefe's testicle pops out of his gym shorts! 

Kelvin finishes a rep, his eyes closed from the exertion, then looks up and notices.  Keefe moves away.

Kelvin sits up, breathing heavily. The camera moves in for a close-up of his face. He is shocked and confused.  

This is not the expression of someone embarrassed from seeing his buddy's testicle. He is terrified.  Something is stirring that he doesn't understand, or maybe he understands but doesn't want to. He is experiencing homoerotic desire.  He can no longer interpret his feelings for Keefe as mere buddy-bonding.

Harder: Notice the motto on the wall: "Harder..better... faster. .stronger...saved."  This may be a reflection of the song "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger," although I wonder how Kelvin is familiar with an album by the Australian electro band Daft Punk, released in 2001, when he was 11 or 12 years old.   

Other suggestions: The Olympic motto, "Faster, Higher, Stronger," and Bigger, Stronger, Faster, a 2008 documentary about steroid abuse among bodybuilders. It included interviews with practically every pro bodybuillder of the present and past, from Arnold Schwarzenegger, top photo, to Mike Bell. 

More bodybuilders after the break