"The Borough": A spider-monster, Stepford smiles, and elderly hunks in a desert retirement community. With Begley bottom and silver fox c*ck

Link to the n*de photos

Who can resist an old guy?  A silver fox, 50 or 60 or 70, with the tight toned body that comes from spending every day at the gym, decades of experience in putting things in all the right places, and a huge disposable income  ("I'm going to China next week.  Want me to bring you anything?" ) . So I'm looking forward to The Boroughs, a new Netflix series about paranormal shenanigans in a creepy retirement community.  There will probably be an elderly gay couple hanging around, and there will certainly be a lot of elderly beefcake.  

Scene 1: A creepy cul-de-sac of ranch-style houses, surrounded by desert, with a mountain in the background.  We zoom into one, where an elderly lady (Dee Wallace of The Stepford Wives) is eating a tv  dinner and watching Jeopardy.  She facetimes her husband Edward  (Ed Begley Jr.) at the Manor.  He wants to come home, but she won't permit it.  He says "The owls are in the walls."  

Ed Begley Jr. played the physics professor mentor on Young Sheldon, starring gay actor Iain Armitage. 

She falls asleep watching The Golden Girls.  Suddenly the tv turns itself off, and scary tentacles creep down the walls. A monster attacks!  And I thought Edward at the Manor was facing paranormal.

Scene 2: A lady and her husband Neill (Rafael Casal) drive

through the badlands.  In the back seat, we see her elderly dad, teenage daughter, and early teen son Cody.

Left: Eldon Jones (Cody) at Albuquerque Pride. Notice the rainbow flag and beads.  As you read the rest of the review, return to this photo as often as you need to.  While writing, I returned to it a lot.

 They arrive at a guard house in the middle of the desert, with nothing around, and tell the guard that grandpa, Sam Cooper, is moving in today.

"Welcome to the Boroughs,, where you'll have the time of your life."

Grandpa (flatly): "Ironic slogan for a place people come to die."

They cross the town square, full of grinning oldsters, and on to the isolated cul-de-sac.  Movers are already putting his furniture in, plus whatever was left behind by the last resident -- the lady who was eaten.  Her husband is still in an assisted care facility.

Their AI assistant, Seraphim, asks "What can I do to make your day more enjoyable?"  Grandpa isn't having it; he pulls the darn device out of the wall.  Back Story: His wife wanted to move to the Boroughs, but she recently died, and he doesn't want to be in a square coffin by himself. 

Daughter suggests that if he really hates it there, he could come live with them.  No, their place is too small.  Besides, he sunk all of his money into this retirement community, and signed a contract.  He's stuck.

Grandpa is played by Alfred Molina, the murdered boyfriend of playrwright Joe Orton in Prick Up Your Ears (1987).  

Scene 3: As Grandpa unpacks, he sees a commercial featuring the CEO of the community.  Maybe if he asks nicely -- or angrily -- the guy in charge could release him from his contract and return some of his money.

Next door neighbor Jack drops by with a "welcome wagon" six-pack of beer. He starts spewing about his golf game, sleep apnea, "touch of the gout," and difficulty  maintaining his goal of entertaining ladies every night. Girls, girls, girls!  Heterosexual identity established at Minute 13.  Finally he invites Grandpa to a neighborhood barbecue.  "No thanks, I hate barbecues.  And people.  And...well, just about everything."

Left: Jack is played by Bill Pullman, known for his underwear scene (and torture) in The Serpent and the Rainbow

Scene 4: Grandpa awakens in bed with his wife (Jane Kaczmarek).  I thought she was dead?  They hug, kiss, close-up hold hands (so you can see their wedding rings), and discuss their plans for the day (gender polarized shopping/working on the car).   It goes on and on, and becomes more and more soppy-maudlin.  Is this a dream, or is an evil succubus trying to control him?

Jane Kaczmarek played the Mom on "Malcolm in the Middle" and the 2026 sequel "Life's Still Unfair," which has gay and nonbinary characters.

It was a dream: Grandpa awakens to revving - the Girl Next Door (Geena Davis) trying to get her car started. 

The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in the Media sponsors research on female and LGBTQ representation.

  

There's also an old guy doing tai chi, which disgusts Grandpa.  You basically hate everyone, don't you?  Oh, wait, you already told us that.

Scene 5: Tai Chi Guy (Clarke Peters) goes into the house, where his wife (Alfre Woodard)  has intel on the new guy.    So, is she in charge of the nefarious plot?  No, she's just a retired reporter, passing the time with social media stalking.   I'd better get some nefarious plot soon, or I'm leaving.  

Grandpa goes to the company headquarters, a huge building with a giant atrium.  Apparently this community is much more extensive than the isolated cul-de-sac we've seen so far.  The receptionist tells him that the CEO is out today.  

Suddenly he flashes back, or has a new memory, of yelling at his wife for picking up the wrong kind of onions.  She calms him down, they dance, things get sickening, with lots of smooching and fast-forwarding -- and suddenly he's back at headquarters.  He wonders if he's going crazy.

Scene 6: Two security guards, Hank and Paz (Eric Edelstein, Carlos Miranda), are sent to the Community Center, where the Girl Next Door is teaching an art class.  She complains that a bag of rose quartz has been stolen, but they don't want to report it.  Head Guard Hank warns that if she insists, they'll claim that she's losing her memory, and should be sent to the dreaded Manor.  

Scene 7: That night, Grandpa falls asleep on the couch watching an old movie.  In the morning, he's awakened by the revving of the Girl Next Door's car.  He fixes it for her, but won't say "You're welcome" in exchange for her "Thank you."  So she yells at him.

Back in the house, he finds Edward, from Scene 1 (the one whose wife was eaten).  He yells that the owl is in the wall, blames Grandpa for taking away his wife, and attacks.  After subduing him, Grandpa wants to call the police, but the security guards explain that this is unconsolidated territory, with just a sheriff, so for most things they depend on security.  And the CEO wants to talk to him.

More after the break

Kowen Cadorath: Son of the three gay Krelboynes, a slasher Santa Claus, handsome orphan on the prairie. With some prairie hunks

 

Malcolm in the Middle (2000-06) starred Frankie Muniz (far left) as Malcolm, a genius in a family of underachievers.  In school, he is placed with the Krelboynes, the gifted and therefore constantly bullied students. 

His best friend Stevie (Craig Lamar Traylor, in the wheelchair) is absurdly girl-crazy, but the lesser Krelboynes are all gay coded:

Dabney (Kyle Sullivan, in his underwear), has an obvious crush on Malcolm.

Lloyd (Evan Matthew Cohen, in blue), enjoys feminine activites like tea parties, and is suicidal ( a common gay stereotype).

Kevin (Victor J. Isaac, far right) is in love with his mother, another gay stereotype. 

In Life's Still Unfair, the Malcolm in the Middle reunion miniseries (2026),the Krelboynes all come to the 40th Anniversary Party of Malcolm's parents, Lois and Hal.  The previously girl-crazy Stevie (Craig Lamar Traylor) has come out; he has a husband (Erik Gow) and young son.  Stay far away from the Malcolm subreddit: it's overrun by howls of  "why do they want every single tv character to be gay????"

The three minor Krelboynes attend together (Dabney center, Lloyd left, Kevin not shown).  They hint that they are in a three-way romantic relationship -- which gets vociferous howls of "they're obviously straight!"  in the fan reddit. 

In other news,  they have a son named Hubert (Kowen Caderath, left).

"With a surrogate?" Malcolm asks.

"Um...yeah sure," Dabney says, hinting that they acquired the child some other way, maybe through an advanced cloning procedure. 

The potential clone Hubert appears in three scenes.  First, he corners an ant that was crawling across the floor, to save the group from the wild beast.  Next he looks extremely embarrassed at his dads' awkward but enthusiastic dancing.  Finally, Lois tells her granddaughter Leah to make friends with him, because he "looks lonely,"  reflecting Malcolm's high school relationship with Stevie.

I'm conducting research to determine if any of the Krelboynes (plus Hubert) have played gay characters since Malcolm, or are gay in real life.

Craig Lamar Traylor (Stevie), who does not actually use a wheelchair or have a missing lung, has nine acting credits, mostly small roles like "Bookstore Customer" and "Child in Classroom."  He retired from acting in 2012, but returned for Renner (2025), starring Frankie Muniz as a AI developer who meets the Girl of His Dreams.  

According to a "where are they now?" article, Craig is an artist specializing in tattoos.  He doesn't say a word about romantic relationships, which suggests that he may be gay and closeted. 

Kyle Sullivan (Dabney) was a well known child star before Malcolm, with roles in Mad about You, The Hugleys, Unhappily Ever After, and Tuesdays with Morrie.  Afterwards, he starred in The War at Home (2005-07), with Michael Rappaport as a macho man struggling with the existence of gay people and Muslims -- then he has to take in a gay Muslim boy (Rami Malek).  Kyle plays his son, who is also assumed gay, but eventually comes out as straight.

After War, Kyle retired from acting.  There are many, many guys named Kyle Sullivan with social media pages, even when you specify that they have to be actors.  At least one is gay, but I don't know if it's our Kyle or not. 

Evan Matthew Cohen (Lloyd), not to be confused with actors Evan Cohen and Matthew Cohen, had three acting credits before Malcolm: an episode of Encore! Encore!, Soccer Dog: The Movie, and the Fox animated series Fillmore!  (Exclamation points were very popular at the turn of the millennium!)

After Malcolm, he retired from acting.  

Victor Z. Isaac (Kevin), not to be confused with Victor Isaac, has 16 acting credits, including episodes of Will and Grace, Pushing Daisies, Everwood, and Criminal Minds (left: he's being arrested for stalking).  

His last role was in The Social Network (2010), about Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) creating Facebook.  Victor plays Stuart Singer, who tells Mark "I'm in your O.S. lab. You're doing an awesome job with Facebook."

Then, like the other Krelboynes, he retired from acting.  There's a Victor Isaac actor who's gay, or at least plays gay, but he's in Spain.

Hubert, you're my last hope.

Kowen Cadorath (Hubert) has an unusual name, like a sword-and-sorcery hero, so I tried to look up its etymology.  Not much luck: various "name meaning" websites claim that it is derived from Old English, Breton, Occitan (Provencal), and Venezuelan Spanish.

17 years old as of this writing, Kowen lives in Winnipeg, but often visits Vancouver for auditions.  Dad Cory works in construction, but has an acting resume; little sister Paisley has appeared in Nobody, Nobody 2, and Harland Manor; and Uncle Matthew teaches at the Expressions Film Studio.

With that sort of heritage, you'd expect acting to be in Kowen's blood, but in an interview he states that he started because he had nothing to do during the summer, so his uncle suggested that he take a class in film. 

His acting career begins with an episode of the hospital drama Skymed (2022), and moves into a Christmas romcom, The Jinglebell Jubilee (2023): after the death of his wife (of course),  the staggeringly blond Nate (Marshall Williams) moves back to his small home town.   His old friend Hope and her boyfriend offer to help him "find love.,"  but it's obvious to everyone, including the boyfriend, that he should really be with...you guessed it.  

Kowen plays his  teenage son Brandon, who has a sort of femme affect and mentions "buddies" but no girl.  That's enough for a queer reading.

More after the break

Life is Still Unfair: "Malcolm in the Middle" returns, with a super-jerky Malcolm, a n*de Hal, and a nonbinary sibling. Plus Francis and Alex d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Malcolm in the Middle (2000-2006) starred Frankie Muniz as Malcolm, the genius son in a struggling, working-class family with four boys.  I watched mainly because it was inserted into the must-see Sunday night lineup on Fox: Futurama, King of the Hill, The Simpsons, Malcolm in the Middle, Family Guy, American Dad. 

 I don't remember many of Malcolm's plotlines, but I liked the delinquent older brother Francis (Christopher Masterson) in military school amid hunky gay-subtext dormmates, then moving to Alaska with his...um...best buddy.

Christopher c*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

And middle brother Reese (Justin Berfield), who had so many queer codes that I expected a coming-out episode -- until the spineless writers lost their nerve and gave him a girlfriend. 

20 years have passed, and three of the four brothers (plus their parents, buddies, marital partners, and kids) are back in a four-part miniseries on Hulu.

Scene 1: Suited 40-year old Malcolm tells a reporter that his company does tech stuff to hook up grocery store chains with food banks, so their unsold merchandise goes to people who need it.  Then, addressing the audience, he brags that he is rich, successful, and infinitely happy. And he did it all by cutting off his family. 

I'm not happy about the "Looking at me, I'm so much better than you!"  And your family was not abusive. Cutting them off is cold.

Scene 2: At the house, Mom Lois is shaving Dad Hal's back hair, while he stands n*de  in front of a laptop, face timing with youngest son Dewey. We're supposed to find this disgusting, but Hal has a perfectly presentable physique for a 70 year old (butt after the break).

Dewey (now played by Caleb Ellsworth-Clark) is performing before King Carl Gustaf of Sweden.  And he brags about his numerous girlfriends. Was the original series this annoyingly heterosexist?

Did you remember that Hal and Lois had a fifth child in a late-series "Why not have a wacky birth?" plot arc?   I didn't, but, but here they are: the young adult Kelly (Vaughan Murrae), who is nonbinary.  

Hal makes a big show of not understanding their pronouns: "We're going shopping.  Does them want to come?"   But Kelly fights back: "Him can't come with we. Us have homework."

In other news, Lois and Hal's big anniversary party is coming up.

Scene 3: On the way home, Malcolm continues to brag about how cutting off his family changed his life: "I don't act like a sociopath.  I'm less angry, more mature. But whenever I'm around them, I revert."  Montage of Malcolm yelling at a family dinner, at a funeral, when his brother criticizes him for bragging about his car.  Now he lives far away, and avoids holiday visits, but a stream of phone calls and emails makes them think that he still cares.

Cut to Hal and Lois at a big box store, looking for a ruby garland.   Craig (David Anthony Higgins), who used to be Lois's boss with a crush on her, pops up to explain why he's no longer working at the drug store.

Suddenly Hal and his old musical group perform an a capella love song -- right in the aisle!    Well, not a love song, precisely: "Your bedroom activity takes me to paradise..."

 I remember that group vaguely -- he's the only white member, but he feels left out because the other guys are more successful.  Didn't they also prank Lois's racist mother?

Musical group member Alex Morris d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Lois is embarrassed by the "romantic gesture."  Could they do something likes, for a change?  

Scene 4:  Back to Malcolm.  He introduces his daughter Leah, "a trophy I won for attending my first kegger in college Her mother left three days after giving birth.  I'm a single father, but I'm good at it!"

Cut to Leah crying in her room.  She addresses the camera, explaining that she doesn't cry all the time. She usually does depressed apathy or rage.

Malcolm wants to know what's wrong: she's isolated at school, with no friends, and Mean Girls prank her. 

"Don't worry, it will get better once you go away to college and cut me off."

Mom Lois calls, insisting that they come to the anniversary party. This is her third text, so Malcolm has to strategize, explaining why he didn't answer the others in a way that makes it look like he cares.

More after the break