That 90s Show, Episode 3.6: Ozzie dates, Theo does stuff, and Nate the super-sized gets dumped. WIth Theo and Noah Centineo

 Link to the n*de dudes

Note: I published this review in September 2024, but upon rereading, I couldn't understand a word, with four interconnected plot threads.  So I separated them.

That 90s Show is a nostalic spin-off of That 70s Show, set 20 years later, with the children of the original cast hanging out in that basement: Jay, the pretty one (Mace Coronel, left); Nate, the super-sized (Maxwell Acee Donovan); Ozzie, the gay one (Reyn Doi); and three or four girls, it's hard to keep track.

While the other teens merge in and out of complicated love triangles and quadrangles, Ozzie is always being stymied in his quest for the elusive boyfriend.  He has a long-distance boyfriend in Canada, who dumps him before we can meet him, and then a lost connection with Isaac (Raphael Alejandro) in Season 3.  I'm reviewing the episode where they go on their first date, "Life is a Highway."

Kitty and Red's Problem: How to keep Otis from getting with his ex-wife, and convince him to pay attention to his daughter: 

Scene 1: Grandma Kitty, Grandpa Red, and Gwen's mom  are in the kitchen, doing stuff with meat, when Gwen's Dad Otis (Cedric Yarbrough) arrives with a big announcement: he was hit by a mail truck, and settled for $20,000, so he cand take a break from his truck driving job and spend some time with "his girls."

Gwen's Mom reveals a problem: whenever Gwen's Dad bangs into town, he's so charming that Mom jumps into doing stuff with him, and then they start arguing, and Gwen is in the middle of it. Easy, Grandma Kitty says: "I'll just keep you from doing stuff with him."

Scene 2: Dad Otis is cooking in preparation for the big barbecue when his daughter Gwen and focus character Leia enter, wanting truck-driving lessons.

Scene 3: At the barbecue, Gwen's Dad Otis was allowed to cook, and now the wieners are all shriveled.  Wiener  joke, har har.

 Also, Grandma Kitty was trying to prevent Gwen's parents from doing stuff, but they did stuff anyway.  "It wasn't your fault.  Trying to stop us made it hotter."

Dad Otis also blew off the big, important truck-driving lesson, letting his daughter down, so Leia and Gwen drive off by themselves, with no lessons. 

Scene 4: The girls only got a few blocks.  Still, Otis is furious  Instead of yelling, Grandma Kitty suggests talking, seeing what's bothering her.

Scene 5: Gwen explained that she stole the truck because her Dad keeps breaking his promises and is never there for her.  They have a heart-to-heart. Awww.

Scene 6: Dad Otis finally giving Gwen her truck-driving lesson. Awww. The end.

Nate the Super-Sized's Problem: How to break up with your girlfriend when you are really big.

Scene 1: At the barbecue, Nate the Super-Sized complains that he wants to break up with his overbearing girlfriend, Betsy, because he's still in love with his Ex. He tried to break up, and she said "No."  Hey, wasn't this plot on Seinfeld around 1996?  

Gwen's Dad Otis commiserates:  "I been there -- you lay the pipe too clean, the wild ones never let you go." Ulp, he's talking about Jay the Pretty One's sister!  

Ok, how to break up with her: "Tell her that you cheated with that little hottie." Ulp, he's talking about Jay's girlfriend! 

"Ok, just make up a girl. Say you cheated with Amy."

Scene 2: Nate confesses that he cheated with a girl named Amy, but girlfriend Betsy is fine with it.  In fact, she wants all three of them to do stuff together.

Scene 3: Nate the Super-sized is calling random women named Amy to find someone willing to do stuff, so his girlfriend won't know that he lied about cheating. They all hang up.  Maybe text them a photo of your super-size? 

Jay the Pretty One suggests getting super-clingy and scaring the girlfriend away.

Scene 4: Nate the Super-sized comes clean about still being in love with his ex, Nikki -- in Nikki's earshot.  The girlfriend dumps him, but Nikki doesn't want to get back together, so he is out of luck.  Maybe Jay is available.

Nikki's Problem: How to convince your boyfriend to do stuff with you: 

Scene 1: Nikki, yet another member of the basement gang, and Ozzie meet in the diner. 

Nikki's  problem: Her boyfriend, Theo (Anthony Turpel), just wants to kiss, and she's ready to go downtown, but he's shy, and she's never had to make the first move before.  Her last boyfriend was Nate the Super-sized -- always ready for anything. 

How can Nikki subtly inform her new boyfriend that she wants to do stuff?  Ozzie suggests going to a movie, making sure there's a box of popcorn on his lap, reaching for some, and missing.  Where'd you learn that trick, boy?  Isn't this your first date?

Anthony Turpel, age 24, probably has some beefcake online.  I'll check after the break.

Scene 2: Nikki takes her boyfriend to a movie, and tries the "reaching for the popcorn and missing" trick. He's fine with doing stuff, as long as she starts.

More after the break

That 90s Show: Ozzie comes out, teen boys try out a hot tub, and there's pot-smoking. Plus Ashton Kutcher n*de

   

Link to the n*de Ashton

I only watched a few episodes of That 70s Show (1998-2006), but I saw enough to know the basic plot: a group of high schoolers, nerdish Eric Forman and girlfriend Donna, prettyboy Kelso and girlfriend Jackie, rebel Hyde, and foreign exchange student Fez, gather in Eric's basement to smoke pot, hook up, and make fun of Fez for being nonwhite and gay-coded (although actually heterosexual).  

Left: Grown-up Fez, played by Wilmer Valderrama.

I only remember one gay reference: they give a guy two tickets to a rock concert, and he shows up with a same sex date!  The guys are disgusted, but Donna says "It doesn't bother me."   Apparently there's another episode, with Eric "mistaken for gay." but I never saw it. 

The sequel That 90's Show (2023), fast forwards to 1995, when a new group of teenagers led by 14-year old Leia hang out in the iconic Forman basement.  They don't smoke pot -- this is the pot-phobic 90s -- but they hookup.  And this time diversity has reached Milwaukee: there are three non-white and one gay character, Ozzie, played by Reyn Do.  I reviewed the episode where he comes out.

Scene 1:  Ozzie is setting up a computer for the Grandparents.  Grandpa Red complains.  Grandma Kitty is excited but clueless.

Scene 2: In the iconic basement, Prettyboy Nate (Maxwell Acee Donovan) is showing Girlfriend Nikki an ad for a free hot tub.  "But it's contaminated with other people's juices!" she complains.  "Until we contaminate it with our juices!"  Hey, that's dirty! 

Meanwhile, Focus Girl Leia tells  Hunk Jay (Mace Coronel) that she wants to be "just friends."  He is distraught. Plot complication: she's actually interested, but too shy to admit it!

Fan plot dump: Leia is the daughter of Eric and Donna, and Jay is the son of Kelso and Jackie, all of whom have guest spots on at least one episode.  Hyde is never mentioned, as actor Danny Masterson is currently incarcerated on a rape conviction, and Fez appears regularly as a swishy but heterosexual hairdresser.

Wait -- When That 70s Show ended, it was 1980, naturally, and this is 1995.  Those girls mst have gotten pregnant at the wrap-up party.

Scene 3: Up in the kitchen, Ozzie explains to Focus Girl Leia that he's planning to come out to Grandma Kitty, as Step 7 in his 16-step coming out plan: first strangers, then people he doesn't see often, then people he sees all the time, and finally his parents.  In the 90s you didn't come out to anyone, ever, so this is quite ambitious.  

Scene 4:  Prettyboy Nate and Hunk Jay go to investigate the free hot tub. 

Nate: "This is better than that time we found the nude beach...until we saw my coach doing lunges."  Jay: "This is what my life feels like right now: a sandy, saggy sack."  Hey, are they talking about his testicles?

They play "vagina hands": they put their hands together, open them up, and Jay shoves his face inside and ..um...hey, that's dirty!

The elderly lady who owns the tub suggests that they try it out first.  

Cut to the three of them in the tub in bathing suits.  She proceeds to flirt.  They are uncomfortable. Hey, writers, the actors are over 18, but the characters are 14 or 15-years old.  This isn't funny, it's cringey.

Ozzie comes out after the break

"Home Economics": Gay and Straight Siblings Obsess over Money.

 That 70s Show ended 15 years ago.  The cast is now in their 40s.  Are you as shocked as I am?   Ashton Kutcher, who played prettyboy Kelso, has retained his youthful vitality and hunkiness, but Topher Grace, who played central character Eric Forman, looks surprisingly craggy and...well, old, and not in a good way (don't get excited, this is a parody CGI.).

His character narrates the story of Home Economics, with the conceit that it's part of a novel he's writing.  It would be a very hackneyed novel; it begins with "This is the story of...."

This is the story of three siblings.  Although they grew up with the same life chances, and they all live in San Francisco and have wives and children, they differ tremendously in economics.

1. Connor (Jimmy Tatro, left), the youngest, is also the richest, having invented a world-famous app.  He moved into Matt Damon's old house with his daughter and housekeeper.  Divorced, he's rich, muscular, and insecure, always looking for love in the wrong places.

2. Matt (Topher Grace), the oldest, is middle-class.  Formerly a best selling author, he has fallen on hard times.  He is forced to accept ghost-writing gigs and to ask his little brother for a loan.  His wife gave up her law practice to be a stay at home mom. Wait -- why doesn't she just go back to work?  Matt can struggle with writer's block while being a stay-at-home dad.

3. Sarah (Caitlin McGee), the middle child, is poor (tv poor, which means living in a huge, elegant apartment).  She is struggling to find work as a child therapist.  Her wife Denise is a teacher, but doesn't make enough money to support them. They obsess over coupons and thrift stores.  Really?  Teachers on other sitcoms make enough to live in the mansions that pass for middle-class on tv.

Let's take another look at Jimmy, since he provides the only beefcake in the regular cast: Matt, Connor, three ladies, and their kids, who are preteens or babies, no surly teen hunks wandering around. 

The title of each episode is a consumer product with price:

Wedding Dress, $1,999

Bounce House, $250

Opus 1 Cabernet, 4500

The Season 2 Episode "Bottle Service, $800" caught my eye.  Is that the price of a bottle of booze?

Connor wants to find a girlfriend, so he invites all the siblings along to an "East Side" club called Noice (ok, San Francisco doesn't really have an East Side.  Its neighborhoods are Mission, The Presidio,  Noe Valley, the Castro, and so on).   Matt complains about the music being too loud, his wife finds someone (Matthew Law) to help in her feud with another mom, and Denise complains that "this is the densest concentration of heterosexuals I've ever seen" (apparently she's never lived on the Plains), so she and Sarah set out to find some gay people.  They latch onto a butch-femme lesbian couple, but they are way young and way too into partying for the 30-something oldsters.

Meanwhile Tom and Matt are cruised by a group of about 30 girls.  Tom keeps insulting Matt so he will look better and get laid.  Finally he orders them an $800 bottle of booze.  But they are turned off by his bragaddoccio, and leave.  

Tom thnks he took Ecstasy, and freaks out, then becomes the life of the party.  He also has a run-in with the bouncer (Jenson Cheng)

Connor manages to find a girl, in spite of his insecurities (well, being muscular and rich probably helped).

Yawn.

There was really nothing wrong with the episode: some gay representation, a couple of cute guys, nothing offensive.  It was just very predictable.  All of the plot points were obvious from the start: insecure guy tries too hard; uptight guy loses his inhibitions; old people can't return to their youth. I think I'd rather watch Difficult People.