"House of Guinness": Heirs to a beer empire in 1868 Ireland. With a gay brother, shirtless hunks, Irish hiphop, and a heck of a lot of d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I've been having trouble recently, beginning reviews of movies and tv shows and then not liking them, or when I like them, there's no gay representation or beefcake, so I can't review them here.   So this time I cheated by checked in advance: House of Guinness has a gay character, and lots of the actors have appeared n*de.

Episode 1 Prologue: Closeup of the beer-making process, with the ingredients, water, hops, and so on.  A sweaty bare-chested bloke adds the fire.  I like this tv series already.  Then comes family, money, and rebellion.  

Scene 1: St. James Gate, Dublin, 1868:  As Foreman Rafferty (James Norton, left) walks through the factory, a dude asks if there will be trouble today. Of course, there's always trouble with the Guinness Family. 

Outside, someone throws a beer bottle at the logo, and Prohibitionists burn an effigy of Benjamin Guinness: "A brewer of sin and debauchery!"  His funeral is today, and they are intent on preventing his procession from making it to the church.

The Temperance Movement was nearly as popular in 19th century Ireland as in the U.S., attributing almost all crime, poverty, disease, and insanity to alcohol consumption.  

Meanwhile, Fenian Leader Patrick (Seamus O'Hara) tells his followers than the Guiness heirs  are weak and divided, so this is a perfect time to free Ireland -- by attacking the funeral procession!  "Grab whatever weapons you can find, but spare the horses -- all horses are Catholic."

England occupied Ireland until 1922, forbidding the use of the Irish language, discriminating against Catholics, and promoting stereotypes that are still common today.  There were lots of revolts, rebellions, and terrorists acts, notably from the Fenian Brotherhood.

In the factory (very impressive set, lots of workers), Foreman Rafferty tells the men to arm themselves.  They have to fight to get the boss's corpse through to the church.

The battle is accompanied by the hiphop song "Get Your Brits Out," by Kneecap. Ordinarily I dislike contemporary music in a historical drama, but not when it's mostly in Irish:

Ach Stalford agus an DUP

Gach lá, taobh amuigh de mo theach

"Go back to Dublin if you want to rap"

Anois éist, I’m gonna say this once

Yous can all stay just don’t be c*nts

 

Scene 2: Iveagh House, the Guiness family home (built 1736, now the headquarters of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade).  Femme, decadent Edward (Louis Partridge) complains that his button-down conservative brother Arthur (Anthony Boyle) has been in London so long, he's lost his Irish accent.

The third brother, Benjamin (Finn O'Shea, top photo) is asleep on the couch, still hung over from one of his benders.

They discuss the hypocrisy of everyone pretending to grieve, when the Irish hated him, and the English are happy that he is gone: now they can manipulate the children.  

Sister Anne tells them to shush their bickering; it's time for the funeral, and they have to act like a civilized Christian family: "Decadent Edward, change your shirt. Drunken Benjamin, change into some clothes you haven't slept in. Conservative Arthur, just change." 

More after the break

"Game Over, Man": Adam Devine n*de for five minutes What's not to like?

 

Shortly after the end of Workaholics, the guys (Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson) played about the same characters in Game Over, Man (2018), moving their shenanigans into a hostage crisis in a high-rise hotel.  The reviews were unfailingly horrible, 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Their goofiness conflicts with a jarringly grim, violent plotline, there's way too much vulgarity, disgustingly graphic deaths, a severed d*ck used as a prop, torture by r*mming (wait -- is that torture or a pleasant Saturday night?), plus horrifying homophobia.  I'm afraid to watch the whole movie, but I'll review a scene that the Roger Ebert.com reviewer criticizes as featuring "some pretty extreme homophobia."  

Remember, I walked out of Spider-Man (2002) when Tobey Maguire said "Like all stories, this story is about a boy and a girl."  Claiming that gay men and lesbians don't exist, homophobic jerk!  So this will certainly raise my hackles.

See the NSFW version of this review for the extensive -- way extensive -- shots of Adam Devine's d*ck and backside

The set-up: The terrorist's henchmen, Steve Howey and Mac Brandt, are trying to kill the guys.  For some reason Adam decides to pretend that he has died of auto-*rotic asphyxiation, hanging in the closet with his d*ck in his hand. Blake and Anders hide under the bed (it would be too confusing to use character names).

 

Finding the "Corpse"

The henchmen burst into the hotel room, examine Adam's "corpse" (we get a closeup of Adam's hand on his d*ck).  Steve comments: "Look at this freaky f*k."

Mac: "Rest in peace, you horny bastard."

Steve worries that the job is going badly, but Mac reassures him: "By this time tomorrow, we'll be sipping Coronas in Cabo."  

Steve: "I don't want to see you getting hurt."

Mac: "You're sweet."

Steve: " I love you."

They kiss -- a little peck, then a big smooching thing. Adam, watching, is shocked.  Not homophobic, maybe a little heteronormative: "Wait -- gay henchmen exist?

The Attack

The henchmen decide to do it "real quick," take off their shirts, and jump on the bed. We don't see any more of their kissing.  Guys, your pants aren't off.  Not going to have a lot of action that way.

Blake sneaks a peek, then turns to Anders and says "Eww, right?"  Not homophobic.  Blake's character is actually gay and closeted (at this point), so he's trying to determine how a straight guy should react.

To defend themselves, the guys throw the blanket over the couple and punch and kick them.  Anders grabs a lamp and beats Steve's head.  Blood alert. . Adam, shocked, says "I am so sorry." But you didn't do it.

Mac throws him across the room (d*ck shot). 

We Killed the Bad Guys

Mac punches Blake and advances on Anders: "You just killed the man of my dreams. Now you're gonna die."  Anders claims that Steve is just knocked out, but Mac throws him across the room and starts to strangle him.

Anders: "I'm sorry I killed him.  I'll be your boyfriend."  

Blake throws a lamp.  Mac turns and advances on him. He ducks, and Mac flies into a dresser and is knocked unconscious.  Anders: "I think you killed him!"

Adam: "Sorry I didn't help...we killed the bad guys!  My plan worked!" He spins his d*ck around in celebration. Um...so, can I get this on BluRay?

Anders: "Stop it!  Your plan didn't work!  You got them h*orny, and got me kicked in the chest."  Blake asks if he's all right.  Aww, fraternal love...

Adam says that since they killed the bad guys, they get to take their stuff (backside and b*all shot). That's Video Games 101.  The other guys disagree: "You're only going to get them madder."  Aren't they dead?

He finds some zip ties, a knife, and a gun, which accidentally goes off, then decides to go put his pants on.  A close-up of his d*ck bouncing around as he walks toward the closet.  Is it getting hot in here?

Anders wants to know why he's getting dressed in the closet, when they've already seen hm n*de.  

Homophobia: I didn't see any, just some heteronormative surprise that gay henchmen exist.  Do the critics know what homophobia is?  Hatred/disgust of gay people, not gay activity.

The henchmen don't seem to be at all into each other -- look at those grimaces -- but that's the actors' fault. 

Adam's D*ck: It may be intended to disgust dudebro viewers -- if there were n*de ladies, I'd be fast-forwarding.  But if you're into d*cks, this is a masterpiece.

My Grade: Based on this scene alone, B.  Based on Adam alone, A+.

The n*de photos are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: Lots of Beefcake, One Fleeting Gay Character

Agents of SHIELD (2013) is a tv adaption of the Marvel comics series, produced by Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Joss Whedon.

SHIELD stands for Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division -- rather a clumsy way of saying Homeland Security.  Except instead of ISIS, they're fighting "inhumans" (people with paranormal powers that emerge suddenly, for various reasons).

The Big Bad is Hydra, a secret society run by reptile beings, which has attempted to intervene into world history many times, from ancient Egypt through Nazi Germany (Hitler was a Hydra stooge).  Its current secret weapon is the Hive, some alien parasites merged into a single sinister being.

There's also an evil government agency that wants to kill all inhumans, regardless of whether they're on our side or not.

There are 11 agents of SHIELD, each with their own alliances, hidden agendas, and angst-ridden back stories.

1. Grand Ward (Brett Dalton, top photo), an undercover Hydra agent who is possessed by the Hive.

2. Leader Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg), who died at the end of The Avengers,  but who said that all of the movies, tv shows, and comics in the Marvel Universe have to have continuity?

3. Pilot Melinda May (Wing-na Wen), who has a horribly tragic backstory.

4. Lincoln Campbell (Luke Mitchell, left), an inhuman who can manipulate electricity.  He dies.

5. Skye Johnson (Chloe Bennett), an inhuman computer hacker who joined the good guys.

6. Leo Fitz (Iain de Caestecker, left), a weapons expert who suffers from brain damage and lacks emotion.

7. Jenna Simmons (Elizabeth Hemstring), a biochemist who was trapped on the planet Malveth for six months, and emerged psychologically damaged.

8. Lance Hunter (Nick Blood, left).  Does anybody else like the actors' names more than the characters'?  Blood, Hemstring, De Caestecker vs. Hunter, Simmons, Fitz?  Anyway, he's a gruff mercenary who was married to Bobbi.

9. Bobbi Morse (Adrienne Palicki), who works undercover at Hydra.

10. Mack McKenzie (Henry Simmons, left), an evangelical Christian mechanic who dislikes people with superpowers.

11. Holden Radcliffe (John Hannah), a transhuman (don't ask).

Plus a huge supporting cast of government officials, Hydra agents, college professors, college professors who are really Hydra agents, Hydra agents who are really government officials, civilian ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriends, monsters, kids, lions, tigers, and bears.

David Conrad as Ian Quinn, a billionaire industrialist who tries to sell Deathlok soldiers to the U.S. military and has gravitonium (whatever that is).

Gabriel Luna as Robbie Reyes, the vigilante superhero Ghost Rider.

Matthew Willig as Lash, a forensic scientist who helps the SHIELD agents track newly-emerged inhumans.


















Leave it to wishy-washy Joss Whedon to wait until the series has been established to gingerly introduce a gay character.  During Season Three, Joey Guttierez (Juan Pablo Raba) was introduced, an inhuman who can melt metal (and hearts).  He was adopted (and outed) by the SHIELD agents.

He even managed to go out on a date -- well, the beginning of a date, before he was called away on SHIELD business.  Then, his story arc ended, his character was dropped.

I guess we'll have to be content with straight guys taking their shirts off.