"John from Cincinnati": Former Surfing Great Gets a New Boyfriend

"In the coastal town of Imperial Beach, California live the Yosts: three generations of surfing royalty with a family curse..until a stranger arrives."

Presumably the title, John from Cincinnati, refers to th stranger.  Sounds like rather an overstuffed plot, and the cover blurg shows only a frizzy-haired woman, but maybe there will be some hot surfers.

Opening Credits:  Establishing montage of hot surfers, a naked lady at the beach, and the town of Imperial Beach, which is right on the Mexican border.

Scene 1: Luke Perry and his Brother (Austin Nichols, left) complain about illegal immigrants acting like "it's just another day on the beach."  Mitch Yost (Bruce Greenwood) is surfing; they ask him to "get back in the game," but he refuses. Luke stays behind and apologizes.   They discuss the problem with Butchie,who "fucked up" and now has no sponsor, and his grandson "breaking his cherry" at Huntington this afternoon.

Is it possible to get lost after the first three minutes?

Meanwhile, Frizzy Haired Woman is watching her kids or grandkids surf.

Scene 2: Ramon has sold his hotel to someone who is "not nice," so Butchie can't stay there for free anymore.  The Society of Surfing Lawyers has just settled his claim for $2300, so he should be able to pay the back rent.

Society of Surfing Lawyers?

Scene 3:  Brother gets accosted by a guy in military gear, whom he owes money.

Scene 4: Butchie (Brian Van Holt, left) gets a visit from Shaunie (Greyson Fletcher), a long-haired kid who is breaking his cherry later.

Scene 5: Frizzy-Haired Woman (Cissy) tells Mitch that she sent a demo tape of Shaunie  (the grandson) to all potential sponsors, including the one who got Butchie into a drug-addled "shitbird."  They argue.

Shaunie and Kai (his mother?) come in.  They argue some more.

Cissy tells Shaunie (enough with the ie-endings!) to let Bill drive him to the competition,but don't tell him about the liability waver until they are at the registration table. This is very important!

What about the family curse?  Something supernatural -- i.e., interesting -- should be happening any moment now.

Scene 6:  Military Guy and Brother have a cryptic conversation about Mitch, Butchie, and health insurance (I'm not kidding).

Scene 7: Weird recluse Bill (Ed O'Neill, the Dad from Modern Family) agrees to take Shaunie to the competititon. But don't tell Grandpa Mitch!  This is very important!

Scene 8: Chubby Ramon (Luis Guzman) and the Surfing Lawyer (Willie Garson) are packing up stuff and flirting with each other.

Meanwhile Butchie the Drughead is threatening someone over the telephone; if they don't make him right, Ice Cream Man goes over a cliff.

Brother  (name: John: hey, he's the titular character!) arrives and gives Butchie his $2,300.  But the Ice Cream Man doesn't know him, so Butchie gets very upset.  I'm not sure, but I think Brother John tricked his way into Butchie's apartment in order to represent him or have sex with him.  Either way, he'll have to pay.

 They get very close very often. I keep waiting for them to kiss.  They don't, but this is getting interesting.

Scene 9: Frizzy-Haired Cissy and Grandpa Mitch argue,then have sex (we only see them in bed afterwards).

Scene 10: Butchie and John show up at the surf shop where Kai the Ex-Wife  works, to buy a full outfit.

Kai asks Butchie about his new boyfriend (where did you dig him up?) and tells him about Shaunie's competition (don't tell Grandpa Mitch!  This is very important!).

Butchie is furious with Kai for letting Shaunie compete.  He gropes John (I'm not kidding) and holds his hand. They decide to go beat up his Dad (Mitch).

Scene 11: Frizzy-Haired Cissy at Wal-Mart. Gary the Stock Boy flirts with her..  They argue (Jeez, does she argue with everybody?)  It's obvious that she wants some of him.  But he calls the police on her (what for?)

Scene 12: Bill (Al from Married...with Children) is driving Shaunie to the competition.  He yells at other cars: "Up your nose with a rubber hose!", which was the catchphrase of Barbarino on Welcome Back Kotter.  They get a flat tire.  Shaunie sees Frizzy-Haired Cissy going past in the police car, and says "The pigs got Grandma."

Pigs?  What is this, 1968?

Scene 13: Having just had "a lei," Ramon and Surfing Lawyer emerge from their apartment to meet the hotel's new owner, Mr. Cunningham (Matt Winston),who talk like a tough from Breaking Bad.   He's newly wealthy, and he intends to level the hotel because he had a bad experience there a a kid.

Butchie and John arrive.and discuss each other's penises.  Eventually Mitch, Bill, and Shaunie all show up.

Mr. Cunningham fires shots and addresses Mitch in Breaking Bad speak: "Dos your grotesque spawn still wield the old broom handle, Mitch?  Brain the occasional 12-year old shell collector?"   Apparently Butchie beat up Mr.Cunningham when they were both in 6th grade.

Bill disarms him.

John plays nice with Shaunie (have to win over the boyfriend's son, right?)

Scene 14: The gang goes down to the police station to bail out Frizzy-Haired Cissy.  Surfing Lawyer tells Mitch that he had a crush on him at age 12.  Bill asks him to not let the Fruit get behind the wheel of a car (I don't know who he means).

Mitch and his son Butchie the Druggie have a heart-to-heart.  During which Mitch rises 2 inches into the air!  What?

Scene 15:  Surfing Lawyer invites Mr. Cunningham to go surfing (a date?  But I thought he was dating Ramon?). 

Scene 16:  The gang goes surfing.  John admits that he's never been on a board before; he lied about his surfing skill to get into Butchie's pants. But Butchie is fine with it ("we'll be friends forever, no matter what").  After knowing each other for a day? Butchie moves fast!

The three of them (including Shaunie) go in together.  Then John turns out to be an excellent surfer. Why lie about something like that? To see if Butchie wants a surf buddy or a relationship?

Cissy comments that Butchie often dates "doofuses."

Bill is suspicious of John's intentions.  He decides to get him checked out, make sure there is nothing fishy going on, just an ordinary romantic relationship.

Beefcake:  They all surf in body suits.  Mitch takes his shirt off.

Other Interesting Scenery:  No.

Gay Characters:  Butchie-John, Ramon-Surfing Lawyer, and Mr. Cunningham are all gay, or have strong gay subtexts.  (The reviews only mention the crazy, teddy bear-lugging Mr. Cunningham).

Heterosexism:  None.  Mitch and Cissy have sex, but off camera. No other male-female romantic interaction.

Will I Continue to Watch?  Only long enough to find out whether the gay relationships are subtext or text.

10 Reasons Why Thanksgiving is the Gayest Holiday

If you're not from the U.S. you might not be familiar with Thanksgiving, a holiday celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November (it's also celebrated on different dates in Canada, Liberia, and Grenada).

It's my favorite holiday.  And the gayest:

1. It's in November, so it's cold outside, and dark at night like it's supposed to be.  No one is forcing you to go out and "enjoy the outdoors."

2. There are no tv commercials depicting heterosexual couples giving each other gifts or watching in rapt joy as their children unwrap gifts.

3. There's no religious significance, so you won't feel guilty if you accidentally say "Happy Thanksgiving!" to someone who is Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Wiccan, or atheist.  Although sometimes vegans will lecture you.


4. Gay men spend many extra hours at the gym in anticipation of over-indulging on Thanksgiving.  As a result, at Thanksgiving they're more buffed than at any other time of the year.

5. Everyone gets to demonstrate their culinary skill.


6. You only get Thursday and maybe Friday off work, so there's no time to take a plane ride 2000 miles to the place you grew up.  Thus, "home" is no longer in the past, it's the place you are today, and "family" is what you make of it.

This Advocate cover shows Howard Cruse's character Wendel being served Thanksgiving dinner in bed.  But why is the kid wearing a mask?  Is he the famous Thanksgiving character, Zorro?

7. If you do go home to visit extended family, Thanksgiving dinner is the traditional time for making Big Announcements, like "Guess what?  I'm gay."

8. Most of the bars, clubs, and bathhouses have special Thanksgiving Day events, so you don't have to waste all Thanksgiving afternoon watching football.






9. The origin story, about 17th century Pilgrims and Indians coming together to share a meal, is an imperialist myth, masking a history of conquest and genocide.  But it does lend itself to some interesting ideas for homoerotic revisions (picture from Crow821 on deviantart.com).

10. Gay people have a lot to be thankful for.  They grew up in a culture where they told, over and over, that "discovering the opposite sex" was inevitable and universal, that no gay people existed except for grotesque monsters.  And they survived.

Lords of Flatbush: Fonzie Before Happy Days

Lords of Flatbush (1974) was a precursor of next year’s Happy Days, about four Brooklyn greasers (about 30 years old but still in high school) whose same-sex relationships are doomed by the “discovery” of girls. Chico (Perry King) courts a rich girl, and Stanley (Sylvester Stallone, pre-Rocky, never shirtless but filling out his t-shirts beautifully) gets his girlfriend pregnant.

 The other two gang members, Butchie (Henry Winkler) and Wimpy (Paul Mace), seem not particularly interested in girls, in spite of their obligatory smooching sounds and breast-grabbing gestures whenever girls pass. 

 Butchie especially, short, slim, with a desperate, haunted look in his eyes and a curious diminution of a name that protests too much, behaves in a decidedly transgressive fashion.  He likes boys, but the objects of his interest keep rejecting him.

Late one evening, the others decide to look for girls, but Butchie wants to hang out at the deserted soda shop with Eddie (Joe Stern), the dark, curly-haired soda jerk. No one else is present, so Eddie asks if they might “get personal.” Butchie, grinning, says: “as long as you don’t come over here and give me a great big kiss, anything goes.”

This is a curious response; although his grin suggests that he is stating a laughable absurdity, his quickness at considering it, and the accumulation of adjectives (it’s not just a kiss, it’s a great big kiss) suggest that it is close to conscious thought: perhaps Eddie could kiss him. Indeed, he has specifically rejected an evening of girl-chasing to be alone with a man. What does he expect to happen? 

 But then Eddie rejects him, telling him that he is wasting his life by spending all of his time in the soda shop, oblivious to the possibility that Butchie might hang out there because he likes Eddie. Understandably angry, Butchie goes home.

Later, Chico sneaks into Butchie’s room. They sit, one on a chair, the other on the bed. “Do you have anything to tell me?” Butchie asks. They gaze at each other for a long moment. 

 Chico considers telling him something, but then decides against it. What are they leaving unsaid? Somewhat angry, Butchie prods him further: “Because if you don’t have anything to tell me, I guess I could go to sleep.”

Chico stares at him for a moment more, and then angrily jumps up and runs for the door, refusing to tell him, leaving Butchie silent and frustrated, rejected twice on the same evening. Butchie remains silent and frustrated as Chico, still refusing to tell him, weds the rich girl.

Henry Winkler went on to superstardom as Fonzie on Happy Days, a sitcom that also had tons of gay content.

"Missing: The Other Side": The Gay Leader of the Village of the Dead

 

Missing: The Other Side, a Korean drama on Netflix: "a con artist encounters a village where the spirits of missing persons are trapped until the mystery of their disappearance is solved."  Sounds like you could just as easily say "murder victims," but I'm interested in mysterious disappearances, and the promo shows a femme blond guy -- the con artist or his friend?  -- so I'll check for gay subtexts.  No episode descriptions, so we'll start at the beginning.

Scene 1: Billboard: "It's been 10 day since my daughter Kim Soo-hee went missing."  We see her leaving school, walking slowly down an alley, and getting grabbed by a shadow, then her body being disposed of.  Next the shadow grabs a man sleeping in a car, and Kim Me-Ok, age 33, breaks into a freezer, retrieves a frozen book, and burns the pages.  

Scene 2: Con Artist (Ko Soo, left) convinces Rich Guy to hand over 100 billion won ($730,000) for a scam investment.  He shoves it into his briefcase and tries to leave, but first Rich Guy calls to see if he's legit.  Yes, the woman on the phone says, he's our team leader.

Out in the hallway, Con Artist is relieved.  They got away with the scam!  

Scene 3:   The three con artists meet.  A woman tells them about their next target, Mr. Park, a "scumbag who swindles local businesses," like a shop owner out of her life savings.

Rich Guy and his cronies call again, get the real Kim Seok-hun, and realize that they've been conned.  They run out of the room yelling in anger. Wait -- was the earlier scene a flashback?  Is this guy Mr. Park?  Way to confuse the audience!

Scene 4:  Sangwon Market.  Con Artist delivers the money that Rich Guy swindled from the shop owner, minus his commission.  She gives him some produce to share with his team.

Meanwhile, the police are retrieving the body of a girl from a deep freeze.  She's Kim Soo-hee from Scene 1, missing for a year. The scruffy detective Baek Il-du notices rope burns on her neck, and concludes that she was strangled.  More background: single, age 33, worked in publishing.  Wait -- the girl in Scene 1 was dressed in a school uniform, and said goodbye to 3,000 similarly dressed girls.  She must have been a different victim from Kim Soo-hee.  Wait to increase audience confusion!  

We are introduced to a new character, Gruff Cop Shin Jun-ho (Ha-Joon), who is upset due to an argument with his fiancee.  He goes to a tux shop fora  fitting for the wedding, and discovers that she cancelled it!  

Scene 5: Con Artist sees a girl being kidnapped, and intervenes.  The gang chases him.  Just then, Rich Guy's gang tracks him down.  He runs away, being chased by two gangs, through Saengwo Market, where he is hit by Gruff Cop's car!  

Scene 6: At the hospital, Gruff Cop looks on in horror as Con Artist goes into cardiac arrest (doctors are working on him right in the lobby).  But he doesn't die.  He awakens.  Gruff Cop says "You should be fine now."  There was a pool of blood under his head.  Why isn't his head bandaged?  Is this the afterlife?

Scene 7:  Scruffy Detective working on the case of the dead girl, when a distraught mother rushes in with another missing person case: her son, Ha-neul.  He begins a search, sending his team to pass out fliers and dredge nearby lakes.

Meanwhile, the Blond-Haired Guy from the promo (Song Geon-Hee) is putting a "help-wanted" sign up on his castle when a guy appears-- with Ha-neul!  Kidnappers?

Scene 7:  Con Artist is released from the hospital, still with Gruff Cop: "Since you're paying for everything, I asked them for a colonoscopy, but they refused to do it."  

Scene 8:  At the crime scene, Gruff Cop finds a delivery slip lying on the ground for everyone to see, with a name: Kang Myeung-jin.   Meanwhile, Con Artist is on his way back to the hideout, when he is grabbed by Rich Guy's gang, tied up, and taken to the woods. While they are digging a hole to bury him in, he escapes. Is he going to die soon?  I'm getting tired of waiting.   Running blindly through the woods, he falls off a cliff -- but lands on a tree branch.  A gardener finds him.  Surely he's dead now.

Scene 9: Gears turning and candles lighting themselves.  A woman comes through a mirror.  In another room, Con Artist awakens, half-naked, screaming.  The Gardener gives him some clothes and sets out dinner.  This must be the afterlife village.

Meanwhile, Con Artist's friends go to the spot where his cell phone last tracked him. They find his charm bracelet. 

Scene 10:  Looking for his wallet and cell phone, Con Artist returns to the spot where Gardener found him.  Uh-oh, the bad guys from last night arrive, looking for a body to show their boss.  He hides behind some rocks.  Suddenly a very large, mentally-disabled guy appears and offers him a flower.  Con Artist tries to shush him, but he is too excited to see another person.  Strangely, the bad guys don't notice.

Moving on, Con Artist passes a "Do Not Enter" sign and goes through a hazy time-space portal, I guess, to The Village: Observation tower, weird plants, people in costumes from different time periods. 

Scene 11: While Ha-neul, the Kidnapped Boy from Scene 7, eats a sandwich, the Blond Guy talks to a woman: "There's a bounty on him."  "How long will you keep him here?" "Not long."  She offers to keep the boy at her place.

Meanwhile, Con Artist goes into the Cafe Hawaii (sign in English).  Everybody stares.  Blond Guy stands behind the bar.  Con Artist wants to borrow his landline.  "It doesn't work.  Cell phones don't work here, either.  And there are no police around."

He orders a espresso, but...no espresso machines, so iced tea it is.  "I haven't seen you around before," Blond Guy says.  "Where did you come from?"   Con Artist thinks he is just being nosy.  

Wait -- a woman walks by outside, using a cell phone!   Con Artist runs outside to ask to borrow it, but she is gone.  Wait -- she's standing right there!  Gardener sees her, and realizes that something is wrong -- Con Artist doesn't belong in the Village.  Because he's not dead?

Scene 12: Con Artist returns to the Gardener's house, changes back into the clothes he came in, and prepares to leave.  "There's a bus stop about a 30 minute walk that way."

Darn, he arrives at the bus stop just as it is pulling away.  The next one isn't until tomorrow.  Is this the afterlife or not?   He trudges back to the Cafe Hawaii to insult Blond Guy's town and then ask for a place to spend the night (not a smart strategy).  Blond Guy shows him to a room, which he complains about.  

He tries to sleep, but is awakened by the crying Kidnapped Boy.  He says that he's been waiting for his mother for two nights, but she never shows up.  Con Artist tries to comfort him by saying that he lost his own mother (not the best strategy, dude).  Suddenly he remembers seeing Kidnapped Boy on a missing person poster. 

Blond Guy intervenes. "I'll take the child to bed.  Go back to your room."

Scene 13: Blond Guy -- Thomas --and Gardener talking: "I should have left him to die.  He'll only be trouble."  Meanwhile, Con Artist concludes that he's stumbled onto a kidnapping gang. 

Pictured: Hu Nam-ju, who appears in Episodes 3-5.

While Love Interest looks on from afar,  Sleazy Guy complains that there's nothing to do, and can he help the Gardener kick out the new guy?  Gardner seethes in rage and gives us a new plotline: "My blood boils whenever I think of how you tricked me into accusing an innocent person."  "She wasn't innocent!  She stabbed me in the back!" Literally? "She was your wife!'

Scene 14: In the morning, Con Artist leaves.  On the way, he passes a house with some kids playing in the yard: Kidnapped Boy, the Mentally Disabled Big Boy, and a third.  A woman brings out snacks.  Why is she being so nice to kidnapping victims?

Suddenly a Crazy Lady is standing next to him.  "Be quiet.  If she sees you, she'll kill you.  Another person died last night. Was it you?"

Scene 15: For some reason, he agrees to go back to the Crazy Lady's house, where she reveals that she recognizes him: "Your mother told me all about you."  So Mom actually did get lost, and ended up in the Village.  

Scary Lady from the yard enters and asks angrily "What are you doing here?" No fraternizing with dead people!   Con Artist leaves.

On the way, he runs into a lot more kids playing hide-and-seek, Kidnapped Boy among them.  He decides to take Kidnapped Boy with him.

Scene 16: Blond Guy and the rest of the staff interrogating the kids about the disappearance of Kidnapped Boy: "The new guy took him."  "You mean the handsome man with big eyes?" Blond Guy asks.  Definitely gay.

They run, and catch up to Con Artist pulling a suitcase on wheels.  Kidnapped Kid must be inside!  Nope -- it's a trick!  Ha-neul was actually hiding in the bushes.

As soon as they are gone, Con Artist hides Ha-neul in the suitcase for the rest of the trip to the bus station.  But when he opens it up again, Ha-neul has vanished!

Scene 17: Con Artist catches up to the bus, borrows the driver's cell phone, and calls the police.  Brusque Cop agrees to check it out.  Then he returns to the Village: there's Ha-neul, playing happily with the Mentally Disabled Guy, who explains: "He got lost, so I brought him back."  

Con Artist grabs him and runs, chased by the staff.  Crazy Lady beckons them into her house to hide, but when they enter, she's gone!  And the house is deserted!  Meanwhile, Gardener watches a tv story about Crazy Lady's body being discovered: she had dementia, and wandered off from the nursing home three months ago.  

Scene 18: Continuing with Ha-neul, Con Artist stops to ask Gardener and Sleazy Guy about Crazy Lady's disappearance. (Wouldn't you think he was in on it, and run?).  Sleazy Guy explains: "Everyone in the village is dead. But..."  As he is speaking, he and his stuff begin to evaporate.  Apparently when your body is discovered, you move on to the afterlife.

Suddenly he realizes that Ha-neul is dead.  The end.

Beefcake: One shirtless scene, an occasional bulge.

Gay Characters: Thomas appears to be gay.  No one else has expressed any heterosexual interest, but an episode guide reveals that Con Artist will become interested in Gruff Cop's dead fiancee.

Gay Subtext: No doubt Con Artist and Gruff Cop will have to work together to find the bodies of the Village inhabitants so they can go on to the afterlife.  

My Grade: The flashbacks and multiple characters with the same storyline becomes confusing, but I liked the touches of humor throughout.  B. 

Update: In Episode 2, Con Artist's female partner is so happy to see him alive that she grabs and hugs and kisses him; he pointedly pushes her away.  Then he rejects her date request to go out with a male friend.  As the main character, I doubt that he will be canonically gay, but he's got a massive subtext going on.