Tracker: Guy tracks missing people in scary states. Are any of them gay? Do any have beefcake pics?

  

The new mystery-crime series Tracker got a boost from appearing after the Superbowl (some kind of sports broadcast), and is now the most popular tv series on Hulu.  It sends the Tracker, played by Justin Hartley, to places that I'd be afraid to drive through: Klamath Falls, Oregon?  Missoula, Montana? -- to track down missing persons.  Not paranormal missing, just regular getting kidnapped and lost in the woods stuff.

He is assisted by a lawyer, a lady who likes to see him n*ked; a computer hacker who rarely leaves his cubbyhole; and his managers, a butch-femme lesbian couple, so there's some representation, but I want to see if the missing people are gay.  I watched some of the episodes until they were established as gay or straight, and otherwise depended on episode descriptions.

1. Klamath Falls: A 14 year old kidnapped, presumably by his birth dad, but then they discover that dad has been dead for several years. 

2. Missoula: A young man, played by Donald Heng, has been pulled into a deadly cult.  He's 27 years old, an accountant,  andaccording to his parents, "shy, so he doesn't meet many people."  27 years old and unmarried?  Gay...wait, his parents say that two months ago he met a woman.  Heterosexualized in 4 minutes.

3. Springland: A young woman's free-spirited sister. Well, I'm not picky, maybe she's a lesbian...nope, she has a boyfriend named Gecko.  Heterosexualized in 8 minutes.

4. Mount Shasta: A teenager played by Hunter Dillon goes missing from a troubled teen camp that is run like a prison.  They search his dorm room.  Tracker asks "Does he have a girlfriend?"  Mom doesn't know: "I don't even know if he likes girls."  He has a girlfriend, but it's nice that she doesn't assume automatically that every boy likes girls. Heterosexualized in 8 minutes.

5. St Louis.  Finally, a place I wouldn't be afraid to visit. A convicted murderer's daughter wants him to prove her father's innocence by tracking down a key witness. Doubtful.

6. Lexington: Tracker must team up with a rival tracker -- a lady -- to track down a missing race horse.  Unlikely.  I thought this assignment would be a nonstop hunk fest, but I haven't found anything. "Peter New" is in the cast list, but guess what happens when I google "Peter  New" and "nude" 

There's also a Peter Oldring.

7. Chicago. My kinda town. Tracker has to track down a female MMA fighter.His computer hacker, played by Eric Graise, gets to leave his dark computer room and participate in the action.  Eric played a gay character in the reboot of Queer as Folk, and his character is never heterosexualized, so maybe....

More after the break

"Die Drei ???": Boy detectives in 44 books and 4 movies, most with gay subtexts. With a lot of co-star d*cks, but no Alfred Hitchcock

The Three Investigators (1967-83) is an American boys' mystery series originally published as Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators, although the famous director rarely appears and plays no role in the stories:

The Mystery of the Green Ghost

The Mystery of the Screaming Clock

The Mystery of the Dancing Devil

The Mystery of the Sinister Scarecrow.

The Secret of Shark Reef

In all, 41 Mystery of and 4 Secret of.

The stories have been translated into over 20 languages.  In Germany, the investigators are Die Drei ???, pronounced Fragenzeichen, "Question Marks," after their business card.. 

The three boys:

The leader, future detective Jupiter: stocky/muscular, highly intelligent, able to piece together clues quickly.  His Uncle Titus' salvage yard provides many mysteries.

Athletic Peter takes on the dangerous assignments, like trailing suspects and rescuing his friends.  His father works in special effects in Hollywood, giving them access to movie-making mysteries.

Shy, sensitive, gay-vague Bob, who wears a leg brace, works at the library; he conducts the research in public and forbidden collections. His father is a journalist, giving them access to news-story mysteries.

I read three of the books back in the 2000s, when I was researching an article on queer codes in children's literature.  None of the investigators express any girl craziness, and the constant kidnapping, tight-squeezes, and nick-of-time rescues create many opportunities for buddy-bonding. Peter and Bob are so intimate that one almost expects them to be a canonical gay couple. So when I discovered that the trio has appeared in two German movies, I had to check them for gay subtexts (or maybe texts).

In the books, the boys are 13-14 years old, but  Julius Weckauf (Jupiter), Nevio Wendt (Peter), and Levi Brandl (Bob)  are 16-18, able to drive and get into more life-threatening situations. 

Die Drei ???: Erbe des Drachen, "The Dragon's Legacy" (2023): the boys have a summer internship on the set of the movie Dracula Rises, filming in Transylvania.  They investigate the disappearance of a boy 50 years ago, encountering a secret society and an "an undead creature." 

The trailer doesn't show anyone meeting the Girl of His Dreams, and Bob looks quite gay-stereotype feminine.  I'll take it as a queer code.

Mark Wachke, who starred in The Dark on Netflix, plays Peter's father, the special effects guy.

Die Drei ??? und der Karpathanhund, "The Carpathan Hound" (2025): gay gallery owner Mr. Prentice asks the boys to track down his stolen Carpathian Hound sculpture.  Darn, I thought it would be a "Hound of the Baskervilles" thing. 

Johannes Nussbaum (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) plays Sonny Elmquist. 

The trailer reveals lots of threatening villians, including a carnival devil. We see Peter rescuing Bob, and again, no Girl of His Dreams. Have they become a canonincal couple?

Plus a homophobic fan complains about "turning some characters gay."  Sounds like it is worth a review.

A third German movie, Die Drei ??? Toteninsel ("Death Island"), will premiere in 2026.

Wait -- "where to watch" showed that the movie is available on Amazon Prime, but apparently not in the U.S.  We'll have to make do with the trailers, and check to see if any of the actors are gay in real life. 

More after the break

March 1985: The Brady Bunch Dad Plays a Swishy Queen

You have to be careful watching tv.  The producers, actors, and directors are not your friends; even when they are gay, they are often Uncle Toms.  So it's impossible to avoid frequent statements that assert that everyone on earth is heterosexual, that you do not exist:
"Well, Joe, you're getting to that age when you start to notice girls"
"All guys look at girls.  It's only natural."
"She's every man's fantasy."

If you are careful, you can usually avoid the more virulent statements that assert that you exist, but you are a swishy joke or a predatory monster.

I let my guard down one night in the summer of 1986.  Who would expect virulent homophobia on Murder, She Wrote?

I had no interest in the Sunday night old-person's series (1984-1996) about a small-town mystery writer (played by Angela Lansbury) who kept stumbling across -- and solving -- murders.

Usually the victim was a relative or friend -- "Oh, no, you invited Aunt Jessica to Thanksgiving!  That means one of us will die!"

But Alan was a fan, for some reason, and that Sunday evening, we watched an episode called  "Footnote to Murder" (10 March 1985).

Jessica goes to a mystery writer's convention full of petty jealousy, feuds, backstabbing, and vindictiveness, and of course someone ends up dead.  Unfortunately, her best friend is the prime suspect.

 Robert Reid, formerly the Brady Bunch dad, played swishy uber-stereotype Adrian Winslow, who is criticized for writing novels about "Greek boys mincing about."

"At least my books sell," he simpers.

Who's buying all of these mysteries about Greek boys mincing about?

Although an uber-swishy, lavender-laced, fruit-flavored 1950's stereotype who writes about swishy queens in in ancient Greece, he's also closeted.  "The young man I was dining with last night was a reporter," he explains.

So the word "gay" is never used.  Just a lot of condescending smirks and whispered innuendos.

At least he's not the murderer, just a swishy red herring.

At the time I didn't think anything of it -- virulent homophobia was commonplace on tv during the 1980s.

Then, in 1992, Robert Reed died.  Of colon cancer, but he turned out to be HIV positive, resulting in crazy media headlines like "Mike Brady Had AIDS"!

And his Brady Bunch costars revealed that Reed was, in fact, gay.  They all knew, back in the 1960s, but of course they couldn't say anything for fear that having "America's Favorite Dad" come out would destroy his career -- and their show.

So a gay man agrees to play this horrible 1950s stereotype?

He also hated The Brady Bunch, and actually refused to appear in some episodes that he thought were particularly stupid.

A paycheck is a paycheck.  You did what you had to do, in those days.

See also: Christopher Knight/Peter Brady, Barry Williams/Greg Brady; and Razzle Dazzle: 1970s Variety Shows.

The Secrets of Sulphur Springs: three boys with girlfriends, time travel, and future hunkoids. Just another day on the Disney Channel

 

When The Secrets of Sulphur Springs premiered on the Disney Channel, I did a key word search on the title and "gay" yields: "this series is about two married gay men who get a divorce so they can marry other men."  Unlikely for a Disney Channel teen com, but maybe there are some gay subtexts.

No, it's a ghost story-time travel mystery written by people who can't spell "sulfur."

Ben (Josh Braaten, top photo) and his children, Griffin (Preston Oliver),  Wyatt (Landon Gordon, left),and some girls, move from the Big City to the tourist trap...er, resort of Sulphur Springs, Lousiana, where Ben  grew up. They are going to re-open the creepy, haunted Tarant Inn.

Thirty years ago, young Ben and a girl named Savannah sneaked into the Tarant Inn.  He heard an odd noise and went off to investigate, and when he returned, she was gone!  He is trying to work through the trauma and guilt, and the suspicions of the townsfolk, who think that he...well, this is the Disney Channel, so let's just say "knows something about the disappearance."    So he decided to come back?

This is a teen series, so eldest son Griffin is the focus character.  He immediately meets the Girl of His Dreams, who happens to be mystery obsessed and anxious to help investigate the mystery.  They discover a secret room at the inn that leads to the distant-past year of 1990.  There they meet Savannah, alive and well, but constantly being pestered/hit on by the young Ben.  

It's a soap opera all around, back then: Young Ben (Jake Melrose, left) has an abusive father (Jim Gleason) and a stalker, the Mean Girl Jess, who is constantly trying to sabotage his budding romance with Savannah so she can seduce him.  These are 13-14 year olds on the Disney Channel, so no s*x acts will actually occur, but all the tropes are there.

Meanwhile Griffin's sibs, paranormal enthusiasts, try to contact the ghost of Savannah to find out how she...um...disappeared.

More after the break

Jamie McGuire: The Smiley Creature from "From," with Halifax hunks and a nude Dylan Sprouse

Link to the nude photos

From, on MGM+, is set in the ruins of a small town, with a diner, a police station, a hotel, a farm, and some houses, where stranded travelers from various parts of the U.S. get stuck.  Every night humanoid creatures appear, dressed in 1950s costumes -- mechanic, nurse, librarian, tv cowboy.  They try to lure you outside, or trick you into letting them in, whereupon they turn into monsters and kill you.  

The Creatures are the main threat, and one of the biggest mysteries, in From. They are impervious to most weapons, but they don't have paranormal powers.  Their physiology is human, but dessicated, as if they've been mummified.  They were once regular humans: a Creature named Jasmine says "I didn't ask to be this way."  My theory is that some sort of dark magic went wrong during the 1950s, zapping the town into a pocket universe and transforming some of the townsfolk into Creatures.

Jamie McGuire's Smiley Creature has become a fan favorite, due to his especially huge, creepy grin and his quirky personality: he  seems delighted to be part of the world again.  He feels furniture, picks up objects.  He climbs aboard a stalled bus and plays at driving it.   

He was killed in Season 2, but Creatures never really die, so chances are he'll be back in Season 3.

Without the creepy grin, Jamie is quite handsome, so I wanted to know more about him.  

He's been interviewed a dozen times, but mostly about the Smiley Creature -- and he doesn't know any more than we do.  He just puts on a creepy grin and follows the director's instructions.

Researching Jamie McGuire turns out to be extremely difficult.  A Google search yields 3,000 entries about a romance novelist named Jamie McGuire, mostly reviewing two of her books that have been made into movies, Beautiful Disaster and Beautiful Wedding.    Dylan Sprouse, top photo, stars as an inked bad boy boxer. 

More Jamie after the break

Wrecked: Gay guy and his lesbian bff solve a mystery on a cruise ship. With a homicidal duck

Hulu's six-episode Wreck, not to be confused with the Lost parody Wrecked, has a plot icon with two boy-girl couples, and a plot synopsis about Jamie (Oscar Kennedy) and Vivian, no doubt his Love Interest investigating dark secrets on a cruise ship. But Episode 5 is entitled "Needle in a Gay Stack," so there must be gay characters around somewhere. I reviewed the first episode.

Scene 1: A girl's butt swimming underwater.  Ugh, a dreadful beginning. She puts on a towel, stares in disgust at herself in the mirror, and then argues with stalking "I can't live without you!" ex-boyfriend Danny (Jack Rowan).

Scene 2: Fielding Ex-Boyfriend Danny's hysterical texts, the girl walks through a gigantic shopping mall and some corridors.  Suddenly a knife-wielding person in a duck costume starts chasing her. Wait -- is this a comedy?  

Surprise -- we're on a gigantic cruise ship -- I count at least ten decks.  

After running and hiding for a long time, she yells "You can't have me!" and jumps overboard!  

Scene 3: Three months later, the ship is docked. Pretending to be someone named Cormac, Jamie signs his contract and then joins the others for an informational video: girls in bikinis telling us "Welcome to Velorum, where your dreams set sail."  Ugh

Their supervisors are introduced: Staff Captain Karen, Second Officer Beaker, Third Officer Sam Rhodes (Louis Boyer, right), who gets gazed at by some girls.  By the way, the ship symbol is a duck carrying a surf board. 

Grand tour: apparently there are 2,000 employees?  Crew mess hall, Little Ducks Soft Play Palace, theater, officer's mess hall, gym. promenade.  Everything is horribly regimented and authoritarian.  This is definitely not your grandpa's Love Boat.

Jamie/Cormac couples-up with Vivian, no doubt his Love Interest,  Two other recruits couple up: Jerome (Diego Andres) and Lauren.

The entertainment crew, five girls and a boy, snob past in slow motion.  Everyone gawks.  Staff Captain Karen says that they're busy rehearsing "Apocalypse Wow. Wow Wow."  Ok, so it's a comedy.  You'd never know that from the somber, deadly-serious plot synopsis.  

Asked if he's dating anyone, Jamie/Cormac says "No.  Sheffield's gay scene isn't exactly flourishing."  A gay protagonist, outed at Minute 10!  So Vivian is not his Love Interest after all.

More after the break

"Shardlake": Murder in Tudor England, with a limb-different Sherlock Holmes and a lot of queerbaiting

There are three reasons that Shardlake, a four-episode tv series on Hulu, gives me bad vibes.

1. It is set during the reign of Henry VIII.  Maybe in British schools you get lectured on this every year, but all I know about Henry VIII is that he broke away from the Roman Catholic Church, married a lot -- I'm related to Ann Bolyn -- and was played by Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep Thomas Cromwell, Thomas Cranmer, William Cecil, and William Paulet straight.

2. Do you know what a "shard" is in America?

3. It stars Sean Bean, who I thought was Mr. Bean, the annoying Borat-like character. Turns out that Sean Bean has no connection to Mr. Bean. He played Boromir in The Lord of the Rings and Ned Stark in Game of Thrones.  Might as well give it a try.

Prologue: Crows cawing at a gloomy looking monastery.  Sinister looking guy goes down the stairs, crosses the courtyard, unlocks a door, and heads down to the basement -- where a knight slices off his head!

Scene 1: Hunky guy with a upper-body limb difference washes, shows a little chest, gets dressed.  He tells an off-camera Matthew, no doubt his boyfriend, that he's "ready for whatever the day brings."

No boyfriend: he's Matthew Shardlake, talking to himself.

Shardlake is played by Arthur Hughes, left, who is limb-different in real life. He has appeared in a lot of Doctor Who movies, starred in the soap The Archers, and played Richard III.

Meanwhile, a young guy gallops across the countryside for five minutes.  You assume that he's going to be a main character, but he delivers a letter and vanishes from the story.  

It's for Lord Cromwell.  Thomas Cromwell, chief minister to Henry VIII from 1534 to 1540, when he was beheaded.   

Bad news: "My representative!  My voice!  This cannot go unpunished!"  They must have murdered his representative in the monastery.

Scene 2:  Shardlake snarls through town.  People jump out of his way and cross themselves in fear. He stops to watch a magical parrot say "God save King Harry," but condemns it as a trick.  Harry is Henry VIII. 

A guy tries to pick him up.  After substantial flirtation, he admits that he's actually summoning him to see Lord Cromwell.  He seems to like-like Shardlake.  Maybe a gay-subtext is brewing.

He's Jack Barak, played by Anthony Boyle, left.

 There's been a murder, "a friend of yours. Poor Lord Singleton." Robin Singleton, fictional, sent by Lord Cromwell to investigate the Monastery of St. Donatus, also fictional.  

Scene 3: Their meeting.  Lord Cromwell is in a mood. Back story: Ann Bolyn was executed a few months ago.  This is the fall of 1536.   He shows Shardlake two skulls of Saint Barbara confiscated from monasteries to demonstrate how monks lie about everything, and has him read the letter revealing the murder.

His assignment: They're going to start closing monasteries, confiscating their wealth, and passing it out to the nobility.  But you can only close them if you can prove that the monks are "papists, thieves, or sodomites."  Aren't monks all Roman Catholics, so papists by definition?  That's what Robin Singleton was researching.  So Shardlake must discover who killed him, hopefully a monk, and get on with the investigation of monastic evil.

Jack is assigned to accompany Shardlake.  Being a misanthrope, he doesn't want any traveling companions, but it's an order from Lord Cromwell. Maybe they'll fall in love.

Scene 6: While snarling through town, Shardlake encounters a tough, who tells him to go into that house and up the stairs, then disappears from the story.  Grr.

He meets with Lord Norfolk, Thomas Howard, the uncle of Ann Bolyn. He's my great-great-great, etc. grandfather!  

An opponent of Lord Cromwell, Norfolk wants to know why Shardlake was cozying up to him.  "I'm to investigate a murder at St. Donatus, and then close the monastery so Lord Cromwell can confiscate its wealth." Norfolk disapproves: "It is theft in the name of God."

Norfolk is played by Peter Firth, left, who showed us his equipment in Equus, but is now 70 and a bit crotchety.

More crotchety guys after the break

"School Spirits": Ghost girl, her ghost gay bff, and their living buds solve the mystery. Plus the boyfriend desnudo

 

I'm a sucker for teenage ghost stories, as long as they are comedies, so I reviewed the first episode of School Spirits on Netflix:

Link to NSFW review,

Maddie (Peyton List) wakes up in the boiler room of her high school.  Her blood is splattered around.  But that's not the worst part: she's dead!  She can't touch or move anything.  She can see and hear the living but they can't see or hear her.  And she can't leave the campus!  

Her self-appointed guide is Charlie (Nick Pugliese, center), a gay kid who died in the school during the 1990s (peanut allergy, not hate crime).  He advises her to not try to remember how she died, since she can't change anything: no communication with the living is possible. But don't ghosts communicate with people all the time?  Maybe in the next episode.  And becoming fixated on the past is dangerous: some band members who died in a bus crash many years ago are obsessively performing the school fight song, over and over.

Charlie introduces Maddie to some other ghosts from various decades, notably Wally (Milo Mannheim, top photo and right), who died on the football field, and wishes that he had managed to shower first;  and the Goth Kirsten, who was murdered by her guidance counselor.  

Mr. Martin (Josh Zuckerman), a teacher who died in the school, offers regular group therapy, with regular homework ("write your obituary").  This doesn't get boring after 20 years because ghosts don't experience time in the same way that the living do.  He also advises Maddie to resist checking up on her living friends, as they will gradually forget her and move on.

Of course, Maddie doesn't listen.  She tries to recall events leading up to her death: she made plans to with her BFFs, Simon (Kristian Ventura) and Nicole, to see Carrie that night.  

Her boyfriend Xavier (Spencer MacPherson) was skipping class, and texted her to join him for a smooch session in his car.  She talked him into going to the movie.  They met the others after class with the tickets.  And that's it.

Out in the living world, Maddie's body has not been found, so she gets "missing person" posters and "thoughts and prayers" in class.  The BFFs think that this is ridiculous: they should be out looking for her.  Suddenly Xavier's bag flies open: he has Maddie's cell phone!  Why didn't he tell anyone for the last three days?  This makes him the prime suspect in her murder. The sheriff (Ian Tracey, left), who also happens to be his Dad, arrests him.

Beefcake: Charlie's "office" is the shower room in the boy's gym, where he can watch an endless parade of butts and cocks (just butts are shown).  Otherwise none.

Gay Characters: Charlie, and maybe Maddie's living bff, Simon. A future episode shows us Simon's high school boyfriend, Emilio, who is now all grown up, married to another guy, and teaching at the school (played as an adult by Andres Soto, seen here doing...um...)

To be on the safe side, I posted what he is doing to RG Beefcake and Boyfriends,  along with a lot of other Andres desnudo photos.  

Heterosexism: Maddie and her boyfriend kiss about 1,000 times. Of course, they won't be able to in future episodes, but Xavier has been seeing another girl on the side, so doubtless Maddie will be seeing some smooching.

The Mystery:  "Who killed Maddie, and why?"  It's obviously not Xavier or one of her bffs, and those are the major living characters introduced to date.  I also hope that we have some subplots involving the other ghosts.

My Grade: A-

See also: Is There Sex After Death: A Gideon/Scotty story

Dead Boy Detectives: Ghost buddies, one gay, one bi, solve crimes

"The Pale Blue Eye": A Murder Mystery with Edgar Allan Poe and a Cadre of West Point Cadet Hunks

 

The Pale Blue Eye, on Netflix, is a murder mystery set at West Point Military Academy  in 1830, with Edgar Allan Poe as one of the players!  Poe was obviously a devotee of the feminine, but queer studies scholars have found homoerotic subtexts in his works, and the original novel by Louis Bayard was placed on a list of must-reads by The Advocate in 2016, so it must have queer content.  

Scene 1: A snowy, dark winter in the Hudson Valley, New York, 1830.  Augustus Landor washes his hands in a creek, and returns to his cabin to mourn his Dead Wife.  Captain Hitchcock of the controversial West Point military training school is waiting for him. 

Scene 2: While they ride, Captain Hitchcock tells Landor his own back story: famous detective, solved many important cases in New York, dead wife, runaway daughter.

Scene 3: The Headmaster tells him that a cadet named Fry (Steven Maier) hanged himself last night -- a big problem for West Point, as it indicates that the harsh treatment of cadets isn't working out, and will give some senators in Washington their chance to shut them down.  

But to make matters worse, someone came into the hospital later and cut Fry's heart out!  The job would take considerable strength and some knowledge of anatomy, but no medical training.  It could have been one of the cadets.

Next Landor interviews Cadet Huntoon (Brennan Keel Cook), who found Fry,  and examines the body, both in the morgue and in a baththub, and concludes that he was struggling when he died: he was murdered. Also, he was clutching a scrap of paper with printed words on it.  

Captain Hitchcock warns Landor to not engage in his usual out-of-the-box shenanigans among the cadets.  Do tell...does he like twinks?  Later, as Landor examines the crime scene, a cadet approaches and tells him that the heart-carver must be a poet, because the heart is a symbol, and who trafficks in symbols? 

Scene 4: Landor interviews Cadet Cochrane (Gideon Glick), who was guarding the body at the hospital until 2:30 am, when he was relieved by an officer.  It was dark, so Cochrane didn't see his face.  He knew that it was an officer because he had bars on his uniform -- right side only.  Those on the left side were missing!

Scene 5: Landor at a inn: realistically lit by candlelight, that is, very dark.  He drinks with the bartender ("fuck the rules!")  and sees the shy, stuttering, over-eager cadet who had the poet idea, a Mr. Edgar Allen Poe (Harry Melling)! 21 years old, with two books of poetry published, and hating the academy.  In real life, he only lasted a few months.

They discuss the use of the heart as a symbol in great poetry and the Bible.  When Landor gets up to leave, Poe grabs his arm: "Investigate Cadet Loughborough.  He was Fry's roommate until they had a lover's quarrel...um, I mean argument/"

Scene 6: Cadet Loughborough (Charlie Tahan, top photo), Fry's roommate, denies that they had an argument..just "diverging paths. He'd fallen in with a bad bunch."  

Next Landor interviews an unnamed cadet, maybe Cadet Ballnger (Fred Hechinger), the last person to see Fry alive: they passed in the quad, and Fry asked if there were any officers about.  He said he was off on "necessary business."

Uh-oh, a cow and a sheep have been butchered, and their hearts cut out!  Someone is making a collection!

Scene 7:  Landon offers Poe a job gathering intel, "but keep our relationship a secret."  Have they been dating?   First task: decode the paper fragment found on the body.  Then Landor he goes home to look at a picture of his dead wife and wonder if it's ok to meet someone new.  She wouldn't mind, dude. 

Poe knocks on the door: he's decoded the last two lines of the message: "Come soon. Don't be late."  Landor decodes the others: "I'll be at the cove by the landing." But why would you meet a fellow cadet by the cove, when you can meet him anywhere?  The sender must be a woman, not allowed on the campus.  Darn, I thought for sure that Fry was gay.  In 1830, they didn't have a term for exclusive same-sex interest, but they certainly knew what same-sex interest was.

"I saw a woman!" Poe exclaims.  "Outside the mess hall the morning after the murder.  The most beautiful creature I've ever seen!"  I thought Poe was going to be gay-ish.. 

Scene 8:  Landor in bed with a woman. He asks for some intel on Poe.  I thought Landor was going to be gay, too.

I'm out of space, so I'll stop the scene-by-scene, but two more hunky cadets are yet to appear:

Cadet Marquis (Harry Lawtey) and his sister are prime suspects.  He doesn't express any heterosexual interest.

Cadet Stoddard (Joey Brooks) disappears after the second cadet is murderd (and his genitals cut out), presumably because he knows he's next in line,

There's a really silly plot twist, a WTF ending, and every indication that Poe is romantically interested in Landor, in spite of his interest in women.

"Missing: The Other Side": The Gay Leader of the Village of the Dead

 

Missing: The Other Side, a Korean drama on Netflix: "a con artist encounters a village where the spirits of missing persons are trapped until the mystery of their disappearance is solved."  Sounds like you could just as easily say "murder victims," but I'm interested in mysterious disappearances, and the promo shows a femme blond guy -- the con artist or his friend?  -- so I'll check for gay subtexts.  No episode descriptions, so we'll start at the beginning.

Scene 1: Billboard: "It's been 10 day since my daughter Kim Soo-hee went missing."  We see her leaving school, walking slowly down an alley, and getting grabbed by a shadow, then her body being disposed of.  Next the shadow grabs a man sleeping in a car, and Kim Me-Ok, age 33, breaks into a freezer, retrieves a frozen book, and burns the pages.  

Scene 2: Con Artist (Ko Soo, left) convinces Rich Guy to hand over 100 billion won ($730,000) for a scam investment.  He shoves it into his briefcase and tries to leave, but first Rich Guy calls to see if he's legit.  Yes, the woman on the phone says, he's our team leader.

Out in the hallway, Con Artist is relieved.  They got away with the scam!  

Scene 3:   The three con artists meet.  A woman tells them about their next target, Mr. Park, a "scumbag who swindles local businesses," like a shop owner out of her life savings.

Rich Guy and his cronies call again, get the real Kim Seok-hun, and realize that they've been conned.  They run out of the room yelling in anger. Wait -- was the earlier scene a flashback?  Is this guy Mr. Park?  Way to confuse the audience!

Scene 4:  Sangwon Market.  Con Artist delivers the money that Rich Guy swindled from the shop owner, minus his commission.  She gives him some produce to share with his team.

Meanwhile, the police are retrieving the body of a girl from a deep freeze.  She's Kim Soo-hee from Scene 1, missing for a year. The scruffy detective Baek Il-du notices rope burns on her neck, and concludes that she was strangled.  More background: single, age 33, worked in publishing.  Wait -- the girl in Scene 1 was dressed in a school uniform, and said goodbye to 3,000 similarly dressed girls.  She must have been a different victim from Kim Soo-hee.  Wait to increase audience confusion!  

We are introduced to a new character, Gruff Cop Shin Jun-ho (Ha-Joon), who is upset due to an argument with his fiancee.  He goes to a tux shop fora  fitting for the wedding, and discovers that she cancelled it!  

Scene 5: Con Artist sees a girl being kidnapped, and intervenes.  The gang chases him.  Just then, Rich Guy's gang tracks him down.  He runs away, being chased by two gangs, through Saengwo Market, where he is hit by Gruff Cop's car!  

Scene 6: At the hospital, Gruff Cop looks on in horror as Con Artist goes into cardiac arrest (doctors are working on him right in the lobby).  But he doesn't die.  He awakens.  Gruff Cop says "You should be fine now."  There was a pool of blood under his head.  Why isn't his head bandaged?  Is this the afterlife?

Scene 7:  Scruffy Detective working on the case of the dead girl, when a distraught mother rushes in with another missing person case: her son, Ha-neul.  He begins a search, sending his team to pass out fliers and dredge nearby lakes.

Meanwhile, the Blond-Haired Guy from the promo (Song Geon-Hee) is putting a "help-wanted" sign up on his castle when a guy appears-- with Ha-neul!  Kidnappers?

Scene 7:  Con Artist is released from the hospital, still with Gruff Cop: "Since you're paying for everything, I asked them for a colonoscopy, but they refused to do it."  

Scene 8:  At the crime scene, Gruff Cop finds a delivery slip lying on the ground for everyone to see, with a name: Kang Myeung-jin.   Meanwhile, Con Artist is on his way back to the hideout, when he is grabbed by Rich Guy's gang, tied up, and taken to the woods. While they are digging a hole to bury him in, he escapes. Is he going to die soon?  I'm getting tired of waiting.   Running blindly through the woods, he falls off a cliff -- but lands on a tree branch.  A gardener finds him.  Surely he's dead now.

Scene 9: Gears turning and candles lighting themselves.  A woman comes through a mirror.  In another room, Con Artist awakens, half-naked, screaming.  The Gardener gives him some clothes and sets out dinner.  This must be the afterlife village.

Meanwhile, Con Artist's friends go to the spot where his cell phone last tracked him. They find his charm bracelet. 

Scene 10:  Looking for his wallet and cell phone, Con Artist returns to the spot where Gardener found him.  Uh-oh, the bad guys from last night arrive, looking for a body to show their boss.  He hides behind some rocks.  Suddenly a very large, mentally-disabled guy appears and offers him a flower.  Con Artist tries to shush him, but he is too excited to see another person.  Strangely, the bad guys don't notice.

Moving on, Con Artist passes a "Do Not Enter" sign and goes through a hazy time-space portal, I guess, to The Village: Observation tower, weird plants, people in costumes from different time periods. 

Scene 11: While Ha-neul, the Kidnapped Boy from Scene 7, eats a sandwich, the Blond Guy talks to a woman: "There's a bounty on him."  "How long will you keep him here?" "Not long."  She offers to keep the boy at her place.

Meanwhile, Con Artist goes into the Cafe Hawaii (sign in English).  Everybody stares.  Blond Guy stands behind the bar.  Con Artist wants to borrow his landline.  "It doesn't work.  Cell phones don't work here, either.  And there are no police around."

He orders a espresso, but...no espresso machines, so iced tea it is.  "I haven't seen you around before," Blond Guy says.  "Where did you come from?"   Con Artist thinks he is just being nosy.  

Wait -- a woman walks by outside, using a cell phone!   Con Artist runs outside to ask to borrow it, but she is gone.  Wait -- she's standing right there!  Gardener sees her, and realizes that something is wrong -- Con Artist doesn't belong in the Village.  Because he's not dead?

Scene 12: Con Artist returns to the Gardener's house, changes back into the clothes he came in, and prepares to leave.  "There's a bus stop about a 30 minute walk that way."

Darn, he arrives at the bus stop just as it is pulling away.  The next one isn't until tomorrow.  Is this the afterlife or not?   He trudges back to the Cafe Hawaii to insult Blond Guy's town and then ask for a place to spend the night (not a smart strategy).  Blond Guy shows him to a room, which he complains about.  

He tries to sleep, but is awakened by the crying Kidnapped Boy.  He says that he's been waiting for his mother for two nights, but she never shows up.  Con Artist tries to comfort him by saying that he lost his own mother (not the best strategy, dude).  Suddenly he remembers seeing Kidnapped Boy on a missing person poster. 

Blond Guy intervenes. "I'll take the child to bed.  Go back to your room."

Scene 13: Blond Guy -- Thomas --and Gardener talking: "I should have left him to die.  He'll only be trouble."  Meanwhile, Con Artist concludes that he's stumbled onto a kidnapping gang. 

Pictured: Hu Nam-ju, who appears in Episodes 3-5.

While Love Interest looks on from afar,  Sleazy Guy complains that there's nothing to do, and can he help the Gardener kick out the new guy?  Gardner seethes in rage and gives us a new plotline: "My blood boils whenever I think of how you tricked me into accusing an innocent person."  "She wasn't innocent!  She stabbed me in the back!" Literally? "She was your wife!'

Scene 14: In the morning, Con Artist leaves.  On the way, he passes a house with some kids playing in the yard: Kidnapped Boy, the Mentally Disabled Big Boy, and a third.  A woman brings out snacks.  Why is she being so nice to kidnapping victims?

Suddenly a Crazy Lady is standing next to him.  "Be quiet.  If she sees you, she'll kill you.  Another person died last night. Was it you?"

Scene 15: For some reason, he agrees to go back to the Crazy Lady's house, where she reveals that she recognizes him: "Your mother told me all about you."  So Mom actually did get lost, and ended up in the Village.  

Scary Lady from the yard enters and asks angrily "What are you doing here?" No fraternizing with dead people!   Con Artist leaves.

On the way, he runs into a lot more kids playing hide-and-seek, Kidnapped Boy among them.  He decides to take Kidnapped Boy with him.

Scene 16: Blond Guy and the rest of the staff interrogating the kids about the disappearance of Kidnapped Boy: "The new guy took him."  "You mean the handsome man with big eyes?" Blond Guy asks.  Definitely gay.

They run, and catch up to Con Artist pulling a suitcase on wheels.  Kidnapped Kid must be inside!  Nope -- it's a trick!  Ha-neul was actually hiding in the bushes.

As soon as they are gone, Con Artist hides Ha-neul in the suitcase for the rest of the trip to the bus station.  But when he opens it up again, Ha-neul has vanished!

Scene 17: Con Artist catches up to the bus, borrows the driver's cell phone, and calls the police.  Brusque Cop agrees to check it out.  Then he returns to the Village: there's Ha-neul, playing happily with the Mentally Disabled Guy, who explains: "He got lost, so I brought him back."  

Con Artist grabs him and runs, chased by the staff.  Crazy Lady beckons them into her house to hide, but when they enter, she's gone!  And the house is deserted!  Meanwhile, Gardener watches a tv story about Crazy Lady's body being discovered: she had dementia, and wandered off from the nursing home three months ago.  

Scene 18: Continuing with Ha-neul, Con Artist stops to ask Gardener and Sleazy Guy about Crazy Lady's disappearance. (Wouldn't you think he was in on it, and run?).  Sleazy Guy explains: "Everyone in the village is dead. But..."  As he is speaking, he and his stuff begin to evaporate.  Apparently when your body is discovered, you move on to the afterlife.

Suddenly he realizes that Ha-neul is dead.  The end.

Beefcake: One shirtless scene, an occasional bulge.

Gay Characters: Thomas appears to be gay.  No one else has expressed any heterosexual interest, but an episode guide reveals that Con Artist will become interested in Gruff Cop's dead fiancee.

Gay Subtext: No doubt Con Artist and Gruff Cop will have to work together to find the bodies of the Village inhabitants so they can go on to the afterlife.  

My Grade: The flashbacks and multiple characters with the same storyline becomes confusing, but I liked the touches of humor throughout.  B. 

Update: In Episode 2, Con Artist's female partner is so happy to see him alive that she grabs and hugs and kisses him; he pointedly pushes her away.  Then he rejects her date request to go out with a male friend.  As the main character, I doubt that he will be canonically gay, but he's got a massive subtext going on.

"The Mess You Leave Behind": Nude Gay Teenagers and a Galician Mystery

The Mess You Leave Behind, on Netflix.  I'm a sucker for Spanish language dramas, and this one is set in Galicia.  Maybe we'll hear the Galician language spoken (quite different from Spanish, a lot of Portuguese influence):.

Come back to my room and take off your pants

Spanish: Vuelve a mi habitacion y quitate los pantalones

Galician: Volve á miña habitación e quitate o pantalon

Scene 1:  Viruca, a middle-aged woman, nervously copying computer files onto a disk. Mauro, a middle-aged man with a gray beard, knocks on the door, worried because she has ghosted him. "Why the fuck are you here?" she yells. He bangs, bangs, bangs while she yells "Go away!"  

Scene 2: Coruña, Spain, on the northern tip of Galicia.  A young woman comes into her house. German, apparently the boyfriend or husband, tells her that her Mom just died.  She goes into Mom's room to check -- yep, deceased.  (Tamar Nova, top photo, was actually born in Galicia).

Cut to German and the woman packed and ready to move "two hours away" for a teaching job.  She's nervous because she hasn't taught a class in ages.

Montage of their car trip.  Nice scenery.  

Scene 3: Novariz High School. The Teacher from Scene 1 waits as her students come into the classroom.  Bad Boy Iago (Aron Piper, right) ) stares at her.  

She orders him to write on the chalkboard: "Dying is an art like everything else.  I do it exceptionally well."  (a quote from Sylvia Plath.  I guess this is an English class).

She assigns them to write about their feelings about suicide.  The students whisper.  Roi (Roque Ruiz, left) discovers that Iago's Girlfriend has just dumped him.  Bad Boy Iago asks the Teacher, "Why are you so cruel?"  

Scene 4: German and the young woman arrive at the home of German's parents.  

Meanwhile the Teacher leaves a tavern to see "Puta!" ("Bitch") sprayed on her car, and the tires slashed.  She asks the bartender and a shy boy who is not listed in the IMDB if they saw anything.  But Shy Boy doesn't look toward the parking lot -- it brings back bad memories.  

The Teacher drinks gin and complains about her students.  "One day I'll leave for good."  The bartender suggests that she confide in a friend, but the Teacher doesn't have any.

Scene 5: Meanwhile, the young woman is having dinner and basking in the love and warmth of German's parents.  No, wait, his father died recently.  His mother and Demetrio (Federico Perez Rey), who offers some pills to help him get an errection. So, uncle?  Older brother? Meanwhile Mom asks how long it took for her to get over her mother's death.

When the woman -- we finally learn her name, Raquel or Quela -- leaves, the family interrogates German: "How is she doing?  Is it as bad?"  Gosh, everyone in Galicia is full of secrets.

In the kitchen, Raquel asks German why he went to the bathroom four times during dinner.  Is he using cocaine?  He swears that he hasn't used in two years.  The bathroom breaks were so he could cool down and not yell at Mom.

Scene 6: Teacher drinking and grading papers in the dark. Bad Boy Iago wrote: "Hypocrites should just die. Don't you agree, Teach?"  She tears the paper up.

Meanwhile, Raquel is unpacking boxes.  Her mother sitting on the couch, criticizes her for moving away.  Raquel counters: "You're dead!"  Mom doesn't believe it, so she checks for a heart beat.  Yep, she's dead.  

Ok, it was a dream.  Raquel awakens to the sound of German's Mom crying.  They must have awfully thin walls.  

Sccene 7: The Teacher passed out amid her papers and wine glasses.  She gets a text from Mauro (from Scene 1), but ignores it. There seem to be blood splatters on the floor, or maybe it's just wine.

Meanwhile: Nice exterior shot of Raquel on the way to the tavern, where she orders an espresso and a piece of cake. The bartender can tell that she's the new teacher.  For one thing, she doesn't understand Galician.  For another, she's obviously eager to start.

Scene 8: The Teacher passes back the papers.  Roi got an A.  Nerea (the ex-girlfriend of Bad Boy Iago) alludes to "the rumors" (no doubt that Veruca and Iago are having an affair).  Veruca kicks her out of the class. Iago, too.

Meanwhile, Raquel arrives at the school (these are obviously time jumps, but I''m not sure who taught at the school first)  A huge Gothic space, all heavy stone and glass.  

Raquel comes in just as Veruca is going out.  Symbolism?  

Veruca goes into an auditorium where the speaker is criticizing "the heteropatriarchy," but she seems to mean just "the patriarchy": "They call us the weaker sex, but we are strong."  She gets a standing ovation.

Scene 9: Raquel is being shown around. "If you need anything, ask for help.  No heroes, no martyrs.  We've had enough of that." Uh-oh.

A middle aged male teacher (Mauro from Scene 1?) gets upset by her doe-eyed naiveté . "I can't believe that Xunta would send someone like you! You won't last two days!"  He storms off.

"He doesn't mean it," another teacher says.  "It's just hard for him after what happened to his wife."  Is that wife Veruca?

Scene 10: Bad boy Iago is showing Roi something in his knapsack; "I did it for you!  Let's go to the Hot Springs!"  They almost fight, but Veruca stops them.

Viruca leaves the school,  Middle-aged Teacher from Scene 9 (Mauro, no doubt) is sympathetic about her slashed tires.  She brushes him off.  Then a text: "I need to see you!  I'm losing my mind!  Do something with what I gave you, or I'll talk!"

Ok, that's obscurity for the sake of obfuscation.

Scene 11: At home, Raquel finds a coke tab and yells at German for lying to her.  "Coming here was a mistake.  Thinking that it would magically fix our relationship!"

Scene 12: Bad Boy Iago and Roi drink beer, do cocaine or Ecstasy (I can't tell which).  They get naked and jump in the hot springs, Roi photographing Iago waving a gun around. Very chummy, obviously boyfriends.  But before they can do anything, Raquel shows up.  

Iago says that his gun is just a prop for the photo shoot.  Then he drops his shorts to show Raquel his penis.  She isn't impresssed.

Are you kidding?  That's one of the biggest bulges I've ever seen!

Scene 13:  Back home, German wants to make up.  They kiss.  Raquel says "I'm ready to teach."

Sex scene: Raquel on top, completely nude, some of German's chest and butt.  He does oral sex because he can't get it up.  They stop, frustrated.

Meanwhile Veruca gets up, hungover, and looks in the mirror.

Raquel looks in the mirror, practicing her "first day of class" ice breakers: "Poetry doesn't want adepts, it wants lovers." 

 

Veruca goes to the library, where teachers are whispering: "She's gone too far."  "She's just going through a rough period." "Nerea (the ex-girlfriend of Bad Boy Iago) is starting to gossip"  She tells them to "Fuck off" and heads to the bathroom to send a text.

Iago rushes in and grabs her by the neck: "I should kill you!  You're killing me, you bitch!"  He kisses her, starts crying, and yells "Don't touch me!"  Wow, teenagers are emotional!

Meanwhile Roi, walking past outside, hears them yelling and rushes in to intervene.  He hugs Iago: "Are you ok?" snd yells at Veruca, "What the fuck did you do to him? I wish you'd never come into our lives!" 

Scene 14:  Raquel goes to the library/faculty office to talk about four students who are doing failing work, and should be expelled.

Shift to Mauro (the ex-husband) and Roi at the river, photographing Bad Boy Iago and Girlriend Nerea in wedding outfits. Suddenly they see something floating in the water.  Veruca, dead!

A teacher tells Raquel: "It can't be easy replacing a teacher who killed herself."  She is shocked; no one told her about Veruca.  

After that bombshell, Raquel heads off to teach her class.  She asks the students what Veruca had been assigning.  Lots of poets who killed themselves.  What a coincidence!

The students hate her.

Scene 15:  Raquel starts grading papers.  Whoops, a "Missing Persons" poster about Veruca somehow ended up in the folder, and a scribbled "How long before you die, too?"

Raquel takes a bath (no nudity) and drinks wine.  Suddenly the dead Viruca is in the tub with her.  "Leave this place!"  El FIn.

Beefcake: Naked, bulging Iago and Roi.  Some of German.

Other Sights: Nice shots of Galicia.

Gay Characters: Iago and Roi, no doubt.

Mysteries: Lots.

Galician:  Only incidentally. 

My Grade: A-.  The - because of the female nudity.

"Get Even": Riverdale Light

Didn't we just see a Mexican tv series about  students in a posh high school being blackmailed by a baddie who knows all their secrets?  Get Even seems to be a clone, except now the secret-revealers are the good guys.  Or rather, as the first line states, "I don't know if we're victims or villains."

Scene 1: Girl rides her bike through a quaint English village to a huge Gothic high school with its own flag.  At a start-of-school assembly, we are introduced to the main players:
Narrator (Asian) had a lot to prove
Olivia (white, blond hair) wanted her secrets to stay secret
Margot (black) wanted to survive
Bree (white, black hair) wanted the world to think it couldn't hurt her

Two rugby players, Rex and Romy, introduce a video praising the beloved Coach Creed (Jack Dergas, top photo).  But suddenly a new video plays, of the Coach humiliating his players: "You disgust me!  You're pathetic!  Pathetic!  Pathetic!"  And they can't turn it off!

The abusive coach has been revealed, courtesy, of DGM (Don't Get Mad).  The students all cheer.  That was fun.  I had several abusive teachers and coaches in school that I'd like to see get their comeuppance.

Scene 2:  On the roof, the DGM girls discuss their latest victory: another nogoodnik bites the dust.  They go their separate ways: they're not friends. They don't hang out.  The come together only for vengeance.

Scene 3: At soccer practice, Narrator listens to the girls speculate about who DGM is.  They assume a single guy, like Zorro.  There's also a party tonight, "the party of the year," even though it's only the first day of the term.

Meanwhile, Margot (the one who wants to survive) talks to fellow outsider Ed (Dylan Brady, left, playing a gay character on Coronation Street).  She has to pick an extracurricular.  He suggests Debate Club, but she's not into people or talking.

Scene 4: Bree (the one who wants the world to think it can't hurt her) listens at the door as the Coach is suspended.  Next, the Headmaster asks why she's skipping class. Her father's hefty contributions don't excuse her from everything; she has to at least show up, or she will be expelled.

Outside, Bree and fellow slacker John discuss how lame school is.

Scene 5:  In a mansion, Olivia (the one with secrets) and her friend are putting on makeup, flirting ("You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!), and discussing their boyfriends, Rex from Scene 1 and Donte, who have been acting weird.

Ok, we have the girls'  personalities, and we've met their boyfriends, except for one who has a secret girlfriend. Let's get on with the story.

Scene 6: Whoops, one girl left.  In an awful rowhouse, Narrator is looking at her wall-full of trophies and awards, and her overbrimming calendar of activities.  The girl is busy!  She talks to her family (Dad, Mom, Sister). They give her permission to take a break from her 15 extra-credit projects, 18 extracurriculars, and memorizing the biographies of 300 college admission committee members to make a brief appearance at the party.

Narrator arrives at the party.  Kids dancing, drinking, taking selfies, playing foosball. Seems rather tame -- this ain't Riverdale!  She nods or waves to all the characters introduced so far, and zeroes in on Mika, the hostess. They discuss romantic prospects. Ronny from Scene 1 wants to hang out with Mika, but she gets nervous around boys, so Narrator promises to stay with her.

Bree and fellow slacker John gape at hot hunk Logan (Kit Clarke), "a solid 8 out of 10."  I'm not sure, but I think they both like him.

Scene 7: Margot is in her room, playing six video games at once on her row of computers and eavesdropping on party guests.

Back at the party, they're now in the indoor pool (no beefcake) discussing whether John and Bree are DGM.  Donte, the boyfriend of Olivia (the one with secrets, like being a lesbian) is not into a party (too fake), so he and Narrator decide to get takeaway (food to go) and call it a night.  Olivia sees them leave together.  Drama!

Time for something BIG to happen.  A sexual assault?  A drug overdose?  A masked killer?

Scene 8:  Bree and fellow slacker John head home.  If they turn out to be a couple, I'll be mad.

She goes in the house with a "bye!"  He gazes longingly.  In love, stuck in the friend zone, got it.  No gay guys here, just a secret lesbian.

Scene 9: Morning.  Narrator arrives at school to see everyone checking their smartphones and gossipping furiously. Ronny stole a sexy photo of Mika (last night's hostess) from her phone and posted it on the internet for everyone to laugh at.  Mika blames Narrator for leaving her alone, even though she gets nervous around boys.

Ok, DGM powers, activate!

Scene 10: Soccer  practice.  Narrator doesn't make team captain. She's upset -- how will she ever get into Oxford?

At the horrible rowhouse, the family eagerly awaits the news: Did you make team captain, or have you destroyed all of our lives forever?  Of course she lies and says she made it.  Sister, who is negotiating her own "Get an A-, and we will disown you!" nightmare, seems suspicious.

Narrator goes to her room and tears down her wall-full of appointments for the week.  It's all useless now!

Scene 11:  Taking a momentary break from feeling sorry for herself, Narrator sends out the bat-signal to the rest of the DGM squad.  They drop what they are doing and rush to headquarters.

They usually wait six weeks between capers, but Mika's photo is too important. Time to destroy Ronny!  They link hands and recite their superfriends pledge: "We don't get mad -- we get even!"  The end.




Huh?  I was expecting a murder.

Beefcake: None.  There are some hot guys in the cast.

Other Sights:  The school looks like a medieval castle.

Gay Characters: Olivia is obviously a lesbian.  Some same-sex couples,both male and female,visible at the party.

Heterosexism:  Not even a kiss. It's rather interesting to see girls who are "shy around boys," when across the pond in Riverdale, girls the same age spend half their time having sex and the other half performing pole dancing.

Plot:  Ham-handed character development. Too much teen angst, not enough gettng revenge.  There should have been at least three revenge plotlines in the first episode, to whet the audience interest.  Then spread out the girls' backstories instead of just dumping it all at once.

Will I Keep Watching: Probably.  I want to know what other revenge schemes the Super Friends come up with. Maybe they'll chain Ronny naked in the hot tub. Oh, wait -- they already did that on Riverdale.