Jonathan Lipnicki: The most surprising skinny kid to muscleman transformation of the 2000s. And he's an ally. With Jon's backside and Boo-Boo's front

Link to the n*de dudes

Born in October 1990, Jonathan Lipnicki became a famous actor at the age of five, playing Tom Cruise's son in Jerry Maguire (1996); comedian Jeff Foxworthy's son on his show (1996-97); and the charge of wacky alien-nanny Bronson Pinchot in Meego (1997). 

Then came four box office-topping movies:

Stuart Little (1999) and Stuart Little 2 (2002): His new brother is a mouse voiced by Michael J. Fox.

The Little Vampire (2000): He has a gay-subtext buddy bond with a vampire, which becomes even more blatant in the animated remake, The Little Vampire 3D (2017).

Like Mike (2002): His buddy finds a pair of magic sneakers that allow him to become a basketball superstar.

Between 1996 and 2002, Jonathan was a superstar.  He appeared on every talk show you could name -- Leno, Letterman, Rosie O'Donnell, Sharon Osbourne. He presented at the American Comedy, Kids' Choice, and British Comedy Awards. He won a Critics' Choice Award.  The media went crazy when he appeared at the Spiderman premiere with Daryl Sabara, the second most famous child star of the 2000s.

Then he started fading away, with movies like When Zachary Beaver Came to Town (2003) and The Teacher from the Black Lagoon (2003), and occasional guest spots.  You could see him on Dawson's Creek, Touched by an Angel, and Monk, but you probably didn't.

It wasn't due to lack of talent. Jonathan was being bullied, branded a "has-been," told "you'll never book a job again,"  harassed with homophobic slurs, attacked for "being gay" (although he's actually straight), "made to feel like garbage every day" through middle school and high school.  He was suffering from anxiety, depression, and nearly daily panic attacks.  His battle with depression is ongoing, but his Jewish faith helps.  And working out. 

Around 2008, a rash of "Where is he now?" articles appeared, with detailed attention paid to Jonathan's increasingly buffed physique.  He was playing water polo and basketball, training in mixed martial arts, and lifting weights.

If you last saw him as a cute kid holding hands with a vampire, the change was astounding.

Becoming a muscleman didn't exactly restore Jonathan to superstardom, but he was very busy, starring in Youthful Daze (2014-15) and Interns of FIELD (2016), Mr. Student Body President (2017-18), and Joe Schmo (2025); plus many movies and shorts.

He shows his backside in a movie with a title that got the censores upset (2017).  A high school senior has to decide whether to go to work in the factory or study art. Also, he and his buds kiss girls.  I think Jonathan plays one of the friends.  Booboo Stewart (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) plays another.

More after the break

"The Consultant": Tawdry, Tasteless Homophobia at a Modern Gaming Company

 Amazon Prime has been pushing The Consultant, an adaption of a novel about a consultant who turns out to be the Devil.  I knew that bosses are all evil, but not that evil.... So I watched the first episode.

Scene 1: Six kids from Glendale Middle School are taking a tour of one of those gaming companies where employees sit on stools and play foosball.  Guide Elaine stops to flirt with Craig (Nat Wolff, left), one of the coders,  then gives them the back story: Mega-Rich Dude Sang (Brian Yoon, below) coded his first game at age 13, and now has over 100, including all of the super-popular favorites.  He's worth uncountrable billions of dollars.  She ushers them into his office, then stops by to flirt with the coder again.  They discuss how much they hate Sang. 

Suddenly gunshots ring out!  The employees, looking bored, duck under their desks -- this is America, there are .  Guide Elaine and Coder Craig der rush into Sang's office.  One of the kids, Tokyo (Henry Rhoades) shot him!  "I want my Mommy," he says. 

Scene 2: Late at night, Coder Craig lies awake next to his sleeping girlfriend or wife, horrified by the tragedy.  He tries playing a video game about killing people, but that doesn't help, so he reads a news story about the murder: "The Devil made him do it," then goes for a run. Through Los Angeles at 2:00 am?  Is he crazy?  

Scene 3: He jogs through the deserted streets to the office to get some weed (he keeps marijuana at the office, but not at home?).  It's deserted except for Elaine, who is removing video cameras from the smoke detectors.  She explains that Mega-Rich Sang was paranoid, and had them installed everywhere. They discuss the jobs they are going to get, now that Sang's company has closed.

Plot dump: Craig's girlfriend/wife is a fundamentalist, and thinks he should repent of his sins.  He wonders: If the Devil really did make the kid kill the boss, are the company employees evil, too?  Wait -- the Devil would want a good person killed, so his employees would be the good guys, right?  

Coworker Elaine shuts him down: millions of people play video games, and don't shoot anyone. There's no evidence that pretend violence causes real-life violence.

They hear a noise, and rush to the foyer: Regus (Christoph Waltz), a white haired man in an overcoat, carrying a briefcase, is just standing there, staring into space like a ghost.  He's here to see Mega-Rich Sang.  At 2:00 am?  Then he corrects himself: "Oh, right, he's dead.  He killed those kids, then turned the gun on himself."  

They explain what really happened.  "Oh, right, that was the version I told myself." Creepy, dude. 

Apparently before he died, Mega-Rich Sang hired Regus as a consultant "on all matters of business."   He also ordered this beautiful engraved Bible for you.

Unusual trait: Regus can walk ok, but he can't climb stairs.

He barges into Sang's office, shows them his contract, and calls a staff meeting for 9:00 am.  They protest, but the contract checks out.

Scene 4: Coder Craig in bed (muscle shirt), being sniffed by his fundamentalist wife.  She criticizes him for smoking weed. After a kiss, he rushes off to the office to join the grumbling employees.  I guess the kid killing Sang plotline has been dropped. 

Regus starts making crazy CEO demands, like no more working from home.  

He sniffs everyone, and forces Iain (Michael Charles Vaccaro), a guy that he thinks smells bad,  to strip and wash right in his office (chest and butt shots).   

He knows nothing about video games (except that they brainwash kids into becoming murderers, which Elaine disagrees with).  

He is usuing an assumed name: Patoff comes from "Patent office." 

They check the security cam footage of Regus's appointment with Sang. No sound, but after 14 minutes, Sang signs the contract. Then he kneels and does gay stuff with Regus.  

"Was Sang...." Coder Craig asks, another annoying example of refusing to say the word.

"No, he was asexual."  The end.

Beefcake: N*ked chubby guy while he's being humiliated.  There's a full-sized, n*de, well-hung statue of Sang later on.

Heterosexism: Craig and his fundamentalist wife, but they don't do much.

Gay Characters: Probably not, but gay s*x signifies humiliation, degradation, and evil, which, combined with the refusal to use the G-word, becomes way homophobic.  Not to mention the use of the slur  "c*cksucker."

Violent Video Games Cause Violence:  Disproven over and over. There's no evidence that violent mass media consumption impacts real-life violence.

My Grade: F.

See also: "The N*ked Brothers Band," the most heterosexist teencom on Nickelodeon. Plus the grown-up brothers' c*cks, backsides, and gay-vague characters.

The Chair Company, Episode 1.3: A chair conspiracy, a queer kid, a ginger chub, weirdness for its own sake, and men in suits with d*cks

Brian Cage and Lance Hoyt, the "Disclosure Day" demi-gods: Which has n*de photos? Which is gay? WIth Riddle rising and Oberst pretending

 

 Link to the n*de photos

Disclosure Day (2026), about aliens finally announcing their presence to the world (after hanging around since the Roswell Crash of 1947), offers beefcake only in the first scene.  Danny (Josh O'Connor) stole tapes demonstrating the aliens' presence, and Boss Hogg of the Evil Corporation kidnapped his girlfriend to get them back.  They want to make the trade at a wrestling match.  

I haven't posted a profile of a muscleman for a long time, so I thought I would research the wrestlers, Brian Cage (blue) and Lance Hoyt (red).

Brian Cage, civilian name Brian Button, works for Lucha Underground and Impact Wrestling. Sometimes he performs as Mortis as an homage to his friend Chris Kanyon, who created the character.  As a bodybuilder, he won the 2026 Mr. Nevada competition.

 Other than wrestling shows, he has appeared in:

A fan film, The Fall of Greyskull  (2015), playing He-Man.

The Bloody Man (2020), about a boy who accidentally summons a monster.  Brian plays "Barbarian Man."

And Kill City Cup (2023): A sort of cage-fighting Hunger Games.  He plays a wrestler. 

Brian's Instagram consists almost entirely of selfies, photos from his wrestling and bodybuilding performances, and ladies with big breasts. I got the distinct impression that he is straight.   

Yep, the pro wrestling website tells us that he is married to Melissa Santos, a ring announcer and television personality who works with him in the Lucha Underground.

But at least we have a n*de photo.  Or two.  Or three (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

More after the break

Among Us: A crew of nonbinary bean-beings face a killer in their midst. With Park's backside, Elijah's junk, Korvo, and Yogi Bear

   

Link to the n*de dudes

Among Us is an adult animation series based on a video game, filmed in 2024 and released on Paramount Plus in 2026.  Showrunner Owen Dennis has been associated with the gay-friendly Regular Show, Infinity Train, and AJ Goes to the Dog Park (and he has Pride wallpaper on his cell phone), so I expect some gay subtexts, or maybe even texts.

The premise: An alien shapeshifter is killing the crew members on the Spaceship Skeld as it travels toward its home planet with a precious cargo.  They have to identify the imposter before it's too late.  

The astronauts are bean-shaped,  about 3.5 feet tall, named after their color (which could present problems in a large group).  They have two legs, no arms, no mouths, floating hands, and large visors that change to express emotions. They are genderless, but they reference hookups and "childbirth," so something like human s*xual activity occurs.  

Since they are nonbinary, the astronauts are all LGBTQ.  But I'm going to gender them through the gender of their voice actors, and check for "same-s*x" desire.

I'm reviewing Episode 1.2, "You Can't Be Hot and Smart," which begins just after the first being, new crew member White (Patton Oswald) , has been sliced neatly in half.  

Scene 1: Everyone screams, retches, slips on the blood. Someone puts a "Wet Floor" notice. They try to notify MIRRA, their company, but comms are down.  Captain Red (Randall Park, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) cautions everyone, "don't panic."

And don't forget your towel (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Then Doctor Blue (Dan Stevens, Korvo on Solar Opposites) arrives, and everyone relaxes, because they inspire confidence.

Scene 2: In the med bay, Captain Red tries to avoid admitting that White was murdered;  maybe it was a work related accident?   Doctor Blue tells them that suddenly being cut in half is quite rare.  They perform some tests. We see swabbing, a petri dish, typing into a computer, and finally they conclude that...White is dead.

Scene 3: Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, everyone agrees that it was a murder. Did White have any enemies?  No, everyone loved them -- except Unpaid Intern Green (Elijah Wood, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) who wanted to steer the ship -- their lifelong dream -- but White stole the job. This aroused their bloodlust!

Green, mopping the floor, claims that they have "no l*st for anything, especially blood."

Scene 4: Captain Red asks Security Officer Purple (Ashley Johnson) to check the security cams for suspicious activity, but they only record in black and white, and without color, you can't tell who is who.  Maybe by costume?

Doctor Blue calls Purple into the medbay for an invasive body scan: they want to compare White's body with every crew member's, to see if the splitting-in-half was caused by an alien pathogen or mutation.  "I won't sleep until I know how to protect the crew!" they announce.

Purple swoons with romantic desire.  M-F voice actors

More after the break