Giovanni Ribisi: Cute on "Friends," then dreary, depressing, homophobic art-house movies. At least he shows his d*ck

 

 Link to the Giovanni d*ck

I first saw Giovanni Ribisi on Friends, where he had a recurring role as Phoebe's cute, naive younger brother Frank (1995-2003).  

His plotlines were extensively heterosexist -- it was Friends, after all.   Eventually he falls in love with a much older woman (Debra Jo Rupp of That 70s Show), and asks Phoebe to be the surrogate mother for his child.

But at least he had nice biceps.

The 21-year old actor, son of a talent agent and a musician, had been on screen since he was 9 years old, with recurring roles in The New Leave It to Beaver, Davis Rules, My Two Dads, The Wonder Years, and Family Album, and guest shots practically everywhere.

Here Teddy and Boz (Giovanni, Stephen Dorff) rib their "dateless amigo" Bud Bundy on a 1989 episode of Married With Children. 

As a young adult, Giovanni had a lean, rugged frame and a handsome but quirky  face.  I got such a strong gay vibe that I expected a lot of gay characters or subtexts in his work.  Instead, he played a lot of brooding, depressed heterosexuals in art-house movies: 

SubUrbia (1996): a group of teens in small-town Austin, Texas (of all places) experience angst and want to escape.   Nice physique, buddy

Lost Highway (1997):  A neo-noir by David Lynch, so of course it makes no sense.  No men show their stuff, as one expects from Mr. Lynch, but there are lots of lady parts.

First Love, Last Rites (1997): Two Generation X-ers, Giovanni and a girl, do bedroom stuff and are bored.  

More after the break

"The Beach": Amoral jerk Leonardo DiCaprio, ample beefcake, and a paranormal tease. With Youngblood and Thai d*cks

  

 Link to the n*de dudes.

For Movie Night this week, we watched The Beach (2000).  I don't usually review movies that are more than five years old, but I thought it might be of interest for the beefcake and weird paranormal tease. 

In the trailer, Leonardo DiCaprio and his friends are touring Thailand, when they stumble upon a tribe of hippies that hasn't aged since the 1960s.  He takes off his shirt, spears fish, and has s*x with about a dozen women. But things go wrong, and he must flee through the jungle at night. Maybe they're planning to sacrifice him to the Elephant God?  

The actual movie is not as hetero-sleazy as the trailer suggests.  There are only two hetero-s*x scenes, both partially obscured, and shirtless guys far outnumber the lady parts. 

I suspect that Leo is supposed to be a sympathetic character, but he comes across as an arrogant, pretentious jerk, who ignores the museums and temples, actually all of Thai culture, to hang out with Westerners and criticize Thailand for being crowded, sleazy, and Westernized.  

Left: The Buddhas of Wat Pho.

One night Daffy, the Looney Tune in the room next door, tells him about a beach he found that's pristine, pure, unsullied by Westerners.  It's on a secret island -- he draws Leo a map, then dies.

Sounds like Bali Hai from South Pacific, or maybe Shangri-La from Lost Horizon.

Left: Daffy is played by Robert Carlyle, who showed us his stuff in the The Full Monty.

Leo convinces Francoise, the girl who's been flirting with him, and her boyfriend Etienne  to join him.  16 hours by train to Surat Thani, then a boat and overcrowded bus to Ko Pha Ngan.

There Leo hangs out with a gay couple (Peter Youngblood Hills, Jerry Swindoll).  He invites them to the Island, and gives them a copy of the map.

Left: Jerry Swindoll.  Nice chest, buddy.

Peter Youngblood Hills' backside and front are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Turns out that they're actually straight stoners -- they sleep head to foot, and when they finally get around to the Island, they bring girls. But it was nice while it lasted.

More after the break

Michael Sayfou: Ethiopian-American model/theater major with a cat, a physique, and a lot of queer codes. Plus some Ethiopian d*cks

Link to Michael and the Ethiopian d*cks

Michael Sayfou played Ash, one of Pontius' skateboarding friends, on two episodes of The Righteous Gemstones.  I don't think he had any lines, but Gideon Gemstone called him by name and hugged him, and he was standing directly behind  Gideon's brother Abraham at the opening of the new Christian skate park.  That was enough for me to write an Ash-Abraham romance, "My Dad Can't Know That I'm Gay"  

According to his IMDB page, Michael is straight, but I'm not so sure.  He's wearing a lot of jewelry for a straight guy.  Maybe he closeted the listing because:

He is of mixed race, with one side of his family from Ethiopia.

Wow, Ethiopia!  The ancient city of Axum!  

The rock churches of Lalibella! 

The Ethiopian Orthodox Church, one of the oldest in Christianity!

The Amharic language!  The second most widely spoken Semitic language in the world, after Arabic, with its own distinctive alphabet.

Those dinners where you tear off a chunky of spongy injera bread and use it to scoop up the various dishes.

And the men!  In West Hollywood, I met an Ethiopian guy from the Tigrinya ethnic minority group.  One of the biggest ever.

But Ethiopia is extremely homophobic.  I can understand why Michael, immersed the Ethiopian immigrant subculture, might want to put "straight" on his IMDB profile,  where everybody from his priest to his Uncle Orono can read it. 

Michael was born in New Jersey in 2002, but went to high school in Mint Hill, a suburb of Charlotte, North Carolina, where he was on the swim team.  

More after the break. 

Bleu Landau: The EastEnders bad boy grows up, plays for Sheppy United, lives in a world of men. With his tree trunk and Keanu's backside and d*ck

Link to the n*de dudes

This guy appeared among the new photos on one of my male celebrity sites.  I like your retro 1950s hairstyle and tight chest, buddy, but to get a profile, you have to be an actor or former actor, and  answer "yes" to at least one of these questions.

1. Are you gay in real life?

2. Have you played gay characters?

3. Do you have a n*de photo available?

A little research makes the answer to #1 obvious.  Very cool for your boy to keep doing that while you're being photographed.

 

You moved your hand away just before the cell phone click? Might as well leave it there; this looks like a private men-only party, so no one cares.

#1 is answered, but what about #2: any gay characters?

Bleu Landau (nice name) was born in Bexley, south London, in 2005, and raised on the Isle of Sheppey, Kent.  In 2015, he landed his first on-sceen acting gig, playing Dennis Richman, Jr. on the soap EastEnders.  He stayed for 231 episodes, through 2021.  

The son of Sharon Watts and Dennis Rickman, who was murdered before he was born, Denny enters the story when he is kidnapped on the day of his Mum's wedding (by the groom!), then rescued by Mum's ex-lover Phil (Steve McFadden).  They live with Phil for awhile, and then with the younger brother of Phil's enemy (Scott Maslen, left), who teaches him to box.  Then back to Phil.

Dennis gets into many fights at school, notably with Bobby Beale (Clay Milner Russell), after accusing him of murdering his half-sister.  This leads to an auto accident, a severe injury, and a new guardian, who abuses him.  And back to Mum Sharon and Phil.

Denny's life goes on like that, more and more violent, with gangs and drugs, plus various abusive guardians, injuries, assaulting pregnant women (twice), spying on girls in the locker room, being kidnapped (twice), having girlfriends with incurable diseases, and discovering the truth about who murdered various acquaintances (lots of times).

Left: Keanu (played by Danny Walters) helps Stepdad Phil with a robbery, then goes to work at his auto shop.  He saves Denny from a gang, and has an affair with Mum Sharon, who kidnaps him.  Just go with it. 

In 2020, main protagonist Ian Beale discovers that Denny was responsible for putting his son in the hospital,  and traps him on the lower deck of a boat to get revenge.  But the boat sinks (due to Keanu and Phil fighting), and Ian is unable to free him in time.  This happens while Mum Sharon is giving birth to Denny's brother, which could be either Keanu or Phil's.

In 2021, a baby is left on Sharon's doorstep. Various men are suspected of being the father, but it turns out to be Denny's

Well, it was a soap opera.  What did you expect?

More after the break.