Ned Brower: From nude modeling to an ER nurse, , getting older and less gay-coded year by year. With his stuff, plus Frankie Muniz and Ken Marino

  

Link to the n*de photos

If you've been watching the medical drama The Pitt on Max, you've seen Ned Brower as nurse Jesse Van Horn (25 episodes, 2025-26).   90% of nurses are female, thus giving male nurses a queer coding, but Jesse is straight. There are lesbian and trans woman characters on The Pitt, but no gay men.

A few years ago, actually 26 years ago, Ned was posing for a gay magazine.  Six pack abs, nice beneath the belt action, absolutely gay coded, and quite handsome.  

He reminds me of 1970s gay video star Peter Berlin, but cuter, and with a better physique.

Apparently a lot  happened in the 26 years between Ned's gay photos and his starring role on The Pitt.  Let's check out his biography:

Ned was born in 1978 in Seattle, and attended Southern Methodist University, studying film and psychology.  Shortly after graduation, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career as an actor and model.

He had cameo in The Princess Diaries (2001), and played Dude in Not Another Teen Movie (2001).  The character is not mentioned in plot synopses.

Google AI says that his friend is Eric Christian Olsen, but I doubt it. Eric is blonde

More after the break

Invisible Boys: Gay agony tropes with four Australian boys facing a homophobic 1950s society in 2017. You'll need to see some d*cks.

 

Link to the d*cks

Invisible Boys just dropped on Hulu: a 2025 Australian tv series set before the same-sex marriage "plebescite" (referendum) in 2017, featuring four gay boys in Geraldton, Western Australia (on the coast, 420 km north of Perth).  I was going to click on "play," but then I read the episode synopses.  And reviews.  And the Reddit discussion.  

And I noped my way out of there. 

Boy #1: 17-year old Charlie (Joseph Zada)  is outed after his hookup with a married man (didn't the multicolored hair and makeup give people a clue?).  He is instantly rejected by everybody at his high school, because of course gay people are always outcasts, hated and shunned by the straights. 

Boy #2: 19-year old Matt (Joe Klocek, top left) starts dating Charlie, but their relationship is stymied due to the need to pretend they are straight buddies.

Boy #3:  Zeke (Aydan Califiore) is dealing with the toxic masculinity of his macho Italian-Australian family, where the worst thing you can be is a poof.  He suffers from depression and body dysmorphism, and contemplates self-harm.

When Ian (Isaac Davies, left) shows him a gay video and starts getting grabby, he angrily says "What are you doing?" and sends him away.

Left: Australian actor and singer Aydan Calafiore has over 700 photos on the teen idol site.  Here he's trying to strangle his boyfriend.  But he looks nothing like the Aydan Califiore gettng cruised in the above photo.  They must be different people. 

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Photos of Aydan doing the deed, and random Aussie n*de dudes.

Boy #4: Alpha male Hammer (Zach Blamfied, left, at Melbourne Fashion Week) has always been a "man's man," into sports, beer, and hanging with his buds, and hating poofs.  But then his girlfriend decides that she's ready to go to the next level, and he's not up to the task.  Could he be gay?

But he wants to become a pro soccer player, and of course that would be impossible for a gay man.

Zeke (Boy #3) and Hammer are attracted to each other, but their romance is stymied by having to hide from their homophobic families, friends, and teammates, and the fact that they hate themselves for being gay.  "Everything I can't have in this world is due to liking men" (Pose). 

More after the break.  Caution: it gets more depressing, but there are cute guys.

Matt Crabtree: Shy, stuttering bi boy grows up to "Modern Family," "Will and Grace," one-man shows, and some d*ck pics. Plus Tony Danza in the shower.

  

Link to the n*de dudes

In Modern Family Episode 5.11 (2014), gay couple Mitchell and Cam are considering booking a wedding venue from the officious Mr. Quigley.  But when they step out for a moment to discuss the expense, a girl calls to  book it for her Sweet Sixteen party.  It turns out that she's a student in Cam's music class -- so crazy schemes and mishaps follow.

Wait -- Mr. Quigley is cute...and much shorter than Mitchell and Cam!  A new member of the Short Guy Brigade!

Actor Matt Crabtree has a strong social media presence, with  Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Twitter, and Linkedin, plus his own website. So it's easy to piece together his biography.

He grew up in McCleansville, North Carolina, near Greensboro, where he was the "shy, quiet, stuttering boy" who began to entertain his classmates by doing impressions.  In 1995, he received his B.S. in Biology from the fundamentalist Campbell University in Blues Creek, North Carolina.  Another bio says that his degree is a BFA in Theater.

Is that just a fold of fabric, or do you hang left?

Next Matt enrolled in a nursing program at the Medical College of Virginia, but he dropped out after a semester for a national tour of She Loves Me, then a European tour of West Side Story, and a stop in Chicago to train at the Steppenwolf Theater. 

His other theatrical roles change from resume to resume: 

The Book of Liz: I figured it would be about Elizabeth Taylor, but it's actually a series of comedic sketches by Liz and David Sedaris

The Homosexuals: This one is usually omitted.

The Santaland Diaries: a one-man show based on a David Sedaris' anecdote about working as a Christmas elf at a department store

The Illusionarium: "an immersive, theatrical magic show."

Fully Committed: a comedy about chef taking reservations for his restaurant, with one actor playing 39 characters.

Matt has 51 acting credits listed on the IMDB, beginning with some shorts and going on to episodes of Diagnosis Murder, The Parkers, Nip/Tuck, Malcolm in the Middle, The O.C., Bones, and Masters of Sex. 

He is particularly proud of a "hilarious" run Episodes 8.2 and 8.18 of Will and Grace (2005-06): he plays the Stage Manager of Jack's tv show, Jack Talk

Stage Manager: "We've got a problem."

Jack: "If you got somebody pregnant, Straighty, that's your problem, not mine."

And Falling Upwards (2012), a comedy about unemployment.  I can't find out anything else about it, as it gets drowned out by the cartoon series (2016), the short about an apprentice angel (2019), the podcast starring Aimee Kwan (2024), and the book on spirituality.   In this version, Matt and his future wife Michelle C. Bonilla are the creators, writers, and stars, seen here with Deidre Edwards, and Pip Lilly.

Pip Lilly -- obviously a stage name -- is a "big ole Gen X queen" who uses he/him pronouns.

Most recently Matt played an attorney in two episodes of Harlem (2023) and Charlie's father in City on Fire (2023).  Charlie is played by Wyatt Oleff, but I can't find out anything else about him, except he meets a Girl who introduces him to art, music, and love -- but that's every young man in every movie ever made.

And I seem to recall Wyatt kissing Skyler Gisondo.

More after the break

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

When I moved to West Hollywood in 1985, everyone was watching Movie Macabre (1981-86), starring Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (Cassandra Peterson).  A throwback to the horror movie hosts of the 1950s and 1960s, Elvira was vampire-like being with a Valley Girl accent ("As if!") and a revealing Morticia Addams outfit.

She showed bad movies like The Fall of the House of Usher (with peplum star Mark Damon not taking his clothes off), Horror Hospital (with Robin Askwith threatened by gay psycho surgeons), and Werewolf of Washington (with Dean Stockwell, werewolves, hippies, and hippie werewolves).

In a tradition that would extend to Mystery Science Theater 3000, Elvira made snarky comments about the movies.  And in the tradition of drag queen performers, she made lots of self-referential jokes about her sexual escapades and cleavage ("I'm glad to see you're back...and you're glad to see my front!").  

Gay fans loved her, and she returned the affection, appearing at AIDS benefits and Gay Pride parades through the 1980s.

And not only gay fans.  She was everywhere, branding her image to sell everything from beer to Halloween costumes.

The feature film Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988) sends Elvira to the small town of Falwell (named after Jerry Falwell, the poster boy for 1980s homophobia), where she befriends all of the town's outcasts, butts heads with local bigots and romances an uptight theater manager (professional hunk Danny Greene).

Since Elvira is immortal, she continues to perform, cleavage and all.  She continually hosts new versionfs of Elvira's Movie Macabre., on cable in the 2000s and now on Amazon Prime.

See also: Bill Cable: 1980s n*de model and gay video performer, boyfriend of Elvira and Pee-Wee Herman, rock star in "Basic Instinct"

Danny Greene: Professional Hunk of the 1980s