Link to the n*de photos
Episode 1, Scene 1: The Narrator tells us that Ethan (Leo Reich) has one of the easiest lives in human history, he has just met a guy in the park (gay identity revealed immediately), and he has lowered his screen time to six hours a day. But, as he tells his therapist, he has this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. At least you live in Britain. Imagine the gloom and despair here in the fascist state.
He just wanted to live in a crappy flat with the loves of his life, get drunk every night, and have nothing to worry about for ten years. Is that too much to ask?
Therapist: "Yes."
But they were kicked out of that flat, and they can't move into the new one for three weeks, so he's staying with this guy named Jesse, who is an awful person, which makes him hot. Also his biceps, though I hate it when a guy flexes in the middle of the act.
"I wouldn't want to fuck somebody I respect...Life is hard, so woe is me. Maybe everything is already over." Try fucking someone you respect.
Suddenly the therapist (Andrew Scott) kisses him! "Sorry, I have a real client in about 15 minutes, so..." So this was like a f*tish scene?
"You're fine, you're valid. Now open up for Daddy." He spits in Ethan's mouth. WTF?
Scene 2: Ethan shows his female flatmates, aka the loves of his life, the hole he accidentally made in his bedroom wall, trying to put up a picture with a drill. They tell him that the landlady is coming by tomorrow, so he needs to fix it or they won't get their deposit back. Girl, you never get that deposit back. The landlady always finds some incredibly picky reason to keep it.
Cut to Ethan trying to pack and telling his flatmates about the plans for tonight: booze, cocaine, and hit the club around 11:00. They insist that he fix the hole first.
In other news, they need proof of income for their new place. Flatmate Sam (a girl) doesn't have a real job, and Ethan? "It's not my fault I got fired for using my phone too much." Flatmate Abbi says that she'll get the pay stubs from her job.
They're glad that at least Ethan got a guy. "We didn't do the bottom stuff, though. It hurts. I'm never going to get slammed by a huge monster c*ck!" I heard that, brother. Who wants to shove a telephone pole up there? That's what mouths are for.
"Have you told your boyfriend Jesse that you're getting with other guys?"
"No, our relationship is casual, so it's assumed."
The two loves' romantic history:
Flatmate Abi is dating Tom, who won't do anything with her because he has a low libido.
Flatmate Sam had an ex-girlfriend who cheated on her, but she was unaware. Until now.
Scene 3: Ethan and his mum drive his stuff -- in garbage bags -- to Boyfriend Jesse's flat. Jesse (Arian Nik) comes out shirtless, which annoys Mum, but: "I'm so happy that Ethan finally has a boyfriend."
"Um...he's not my boyfriend," Jesse tells her.
Mum is shocked;: "Ethan! It's not safe to live with someone you don't know. He could be a scammer or a mad axe murderer."
"He's joking," Ethan insists. "We're very serious. We're trying to have a baby."
When she leaves, Ethan asks Jesse to carry in his stuff, because he has to go.
"I can't. I'm in the middle of..."
"Thanks. I love you."
"Stop saying that!"
Scene 4: Straight Flatmate Abi and her boyfriend Tom (Sean Delaney) worry about telling the others the big news. But at least they're happy: "We did it. We finessed life. Endgame." They kiss eight times -- I counted. I thought you had a low libido?
More after the break

















