Madden Zook: 5 soul-winning movies and 3,000 girl-hugging photos prove that he's straight, right? Plus some n*de ballet dudes

 

Link to the n*de photos

Madden Zook, who just appeared as the #50 most popular on the Teen Idol website, looks like a model -- a little skinny, but with one of those "ratboy" faces that are all the rage. 

No question that he's straight in real life. 90% of his photos show him hugging, kissing, smooching, and licking girls.  Oh, here's one where she is just sniffing his bicep.

The girl-hugging would usually disqualify a guy from further research, but I was fascinated: the heterosexism was so very, very over the top, absurdly excessive.   Lots of straight guys devote most of their social media to hugging and kissing The Girl of Their Dreams, but every single photo on his Instagram and Facebook?  Dozens of them? What are you trying to prove, buddy? 

Wait --  I thought this was another girl-hugging photo, but upon closer examination, it's a dude hugging him.  

So, how did Zook become a teen idol? Hugging and kissing girls won't make you famous. He must have done some acting or singing at some point.    

He has five acting credits on the IMDB:

Laps (2018): Swimmer Mitchell (Brayden Benson, center) is being bullied, so he tells the swim coach (Ian Lang).  That's progressive.  When I was a kid, the teachers said "You have to settle your own disputes," and my Dad enrolled me in judo lessons.  Didn't help.

Zook (left) and Cameron Judd (right) play the bullies. 

It was written and directed by Ian Lang, whose Internet biography reads: "And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose" -Romans 8:28. 

Maybe Zook is fundamentalist, and hugs and kisses a lot of girls to prove that he's not "that way" in spite of his swishiness? 

Ian also wrote, produced, and stars in Red Hood: The Fan Series (2019), Christian-based sequel to Red Hood: The Series (2016),: Jason Todd,  the Second Robin in the Batman mythos, returns to Gotham City as the vigiante Red Hood.  He is subdued by a cadre of born-again Robins led by Bruce Wayne's son Damien (Cameron Judd again).  

I watched one of Zook's episodes: he plays a patient in a sinister hospital rescued by Damien.  I didn't stick around to see if they do any buddy-bonding; gay kids might like the lingering close-ups of 12-year old boys in muscle shirts, or sleeping in their altogether, but they made me uncomfortable.

More after the break.  

The Chair Company, Episode 1.6: More queer codes at Seth's 18th birthday party. Plus Seth's selfie, a queer puppeteer, Ebenezer Scrooge, and Brock c*ck

Link to the n*de photos

The Chair Company (2025), on MAX, stars Tim Robinson as corporate schlub Ron, whose chair collapses during an important presentation.  Looking for the company that sold the defective piece of office furniture, he finds an empty warehouse, a website with an invented board of directors, and...it gets weirder and weirder, with conspiracies, hidden agendas, and threats. Or is it all a paranoid delusion?

He hires Mike (Joseph Tudisco) to help with the intel gathering.  Eventually they become close, and Mike refuses payment: "We're family."  

His young adult daughter and her girlfriend have substantial roles, and his teenage son Seth (Will Price) displays some queer codes.  Especially in Episode 1.6, "Happy Birthday: A Friend"

Scene 1: The boss (Lou Diamond Philips, top photo) is weekending in Sedona, Arizona with his buds.  He claims that his property management company is important, but they dismiss it as "making pretty boxes."  The real life, the only thing that's important, is spending time with your friends.  No women around; are these guys all gay?

Scene 2: The photos of the fake Board of Directors on the chair company website were taken by someone named Maggie S. during an acting exercise.  Ron goes to the acting studio  and asks around.  No one remembers the exercise, and they all claim not to know a Maggie S. -- except for Headphone Guy (Brendan Jennings, left), who runs off in a panic.  Ron catches up and starts punching and hitting him, yelling, "Who is Maggie S.?"  Then he realizes that everyone is watching him assault a guy, and runs away.

Scene 3: During the chair collapse, Ron accidentally saw up his coworker's dress.  Human Resources got upset, and brought in a consultant to watch their interactions and make sure he isn't stalking or harassing her.  The Consultant is not sure.

Scene 4: The Boss brought back some photos of vibrant colors and textures from Sedona.  He wants them to redo the design of the big Shopping Mall project, to make it "inspiring" and "cool." But he doesn't give them any detailed instructions, so the design team is confused.  This is not connected to the central mystery.  This show has a lot of bit pieces that are weird for their own sake.

Later, they show the Boss their plans for "bold, earthy colors," with textures like sandstone or "a harsher contrast with nickel plating."  He doesn't like it; "dig deeper." 

Scene 5: Ron walks into the house late at night and sees a long-haired chubby guy getting himself a bowl of popcorn.  He says "Hi, Honey" and "Seth, your Dad's home!" before returning to the basement.

Mom explains that he's Richard (Tyler Bunch), working on a project with Seth. 

Tyler Bunch is a member of the Jim Henson Company, appearing as a muppet on 103 episodes of Sesame Street (1998-2024).  He also voiced several characters on 400 episodes of Pokemon (2012-22), and he sings Gilbert and Sullivan.  He is gay in real life.

Ron is not happy with his not-quite-18 year old son being friends with a guy 40 years older, plus it's late: he needs to be in bed so he can play basketball tomorrow.  Seth refuses: "Nope, this is important."

In other news, Son Seth invited Toby to his birthday party.  "He's really excited to come," They haven't seen each other for years because they go to different schools, but when he was thirteen, they performed the Pee-Wee Herman Dance, and Ron joined in: one of the happiest memories Seth has of his dysfunctional Dad. 

Dad Ron doesn't think Son Seth and Toby should be friends.  This upsets Seth.  No wonder: that's two friends you disapproved of in five minutes. Sounds like you're threatened by the thought of your son having someone special in his life.  

Scene 6: Later, in his room, Son Seth drinks while looking at a photo of his junior-high basketball team, with Dad Ron hugging him.  So Dad should be threatened?  "Hi, Honey" Richard is a Dad substitute?

Possible Will selfie on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends. Don't worry, the actor is 25.

Later, Ron meets with "We're family" Mike.  They discuss some more clues about the bogus chair company.  In other news, would Seth like a decommissioned police car for his birthday?

"You're not invited to his party.  It's just for his friends and their parents."

"But I'd really like to come.  We're family, remember."

"No!" Why don't you want him there, buddy?  Afraid that you might let down your defenses and actually care about someone?

Scene 7: More weird stuff at work, and then the Boss wants to discuss changing the Mall plans -- tomorrow.

"But it's my son's birthday party."

"Great, I'll be there!"

Later, Ron looks at the photos he took of the guy he assaulted at the acting class.  A strange tattoo leads him to the chair company's parent website...but at that moment, someone calls to threaten him: "I'm thinking of finally doing something to you."

Scene 8: The birthday party.  Seth is sitting at a table with the "Hi, Honey" Richard, his sister, her girlfriend, and  a boy.  So, no girls? And how does Richard rate the spot next to you? 

 Wait -- you can see under the table that he has one leg touching Seth's and the other touching or nearly touching his  bottom, symbolically controling his s*exual space. As a protector, or to discourage the competition? I guess since he's 18 now, they can date.

The other guests are almost all boys and their parents.  There are one or two teenage girls in the background, but Seth doesn't interact with them. 

More after the break

Charlie M.: What can you do with a philosophy major? Actor, comedian, photographer, multimedia current affairs producer, model?

  

Link to the n*de photos

The HandJones Underwear Thread has two ads with Charlie M. modeling "Handful," posted in November 2024.  

There's an actor with his name, but his first acting roles were in the 1960s, and he spent 40 years as a casting agent, so it couldn't be the same guy. 

But I found the Linkedin, Instagram, and Facebook pages of someone who looks like our model.

Charlie M. is a Midlands boy.  He attended the University of Sheffield (2014-2017), receiving a B.A. in Philosophy with a 2:1 (which is good, I think).  He was in the swim club and the Footnotes Comedy Society.

He started a Backstage Profile as an actor/comedian, non-union, age range 17-25, but apparently the acting didn't work out: he has no listings on the IMDB or on the London stage.

We find some n*de photos during this period, also, but just selfies, so he hasn't thought of modeling yet, or maybe he tried but it didn't work out. 

In 2017, just after graduating, Charlie adds his name to the "Open Comedy" website.  He says that he's been performing comedy for two years, mostly on the student circuit, including the Edinburg Fringe Festival twice, but he wants to break into the London comedy scene.

But apparently comedy didn't work out, either. Instead, Charlie became a "multimedia current affairs producer, turnng complex issues into clear narratives for impact."  He produced "multimedia packages on economic development" in Central Asia, the Middle East, Eastern Europe, and Africa.

He did a photo series about formerly-nomadic cattle herders in Kazakhstan.  They are fine working outside when the temperature is -30C (-22F).

More after the break.  

Why was Bomba the Jungle Boy always tied up?

Johnny Sheffield (1931-2010) spent the first 24 years of his life being filmed in a loincloth cut to the thigh, first as "Boy," son of Tarzan Johnny Weissmuller in 8 movies (1939-1947), and then as the teenage Bomba the Jungle Boy in 12 movies (1949-1955).  After all that, it proved impossible to find a fully-clothed role, so Johnny went to UCLA, got his degree in business, and had a successful second career in real estate.

The Bomba movies were on tv constantly during my childhood, usually on Saturday afternoons when there was no game,  and now they're all available on DVD. 

I noticed something interesting: in all of the Tarzan movies featuring the adolescent Boy, and in all but one of the Bomba movies, Johnny gets tied up. 

Was director Ford Beebe interested in tie-up games?

Or is it a matter of maximizing beefcake?

Of course, Bomba was tied up a lot in the original book series.

And the original Boy was no stranger to tied-up peril.

But the constant close-ups of the young adult Sheffield straining at his bonds were quite impressive to gay kids growing up in a world where same-sex desire could never be named or even thought of.

Was that the point?

More after the break