Callan Farris: The Unsittable Jeremy drops in on Disney teencoms, kisses boys, learns about gigantic d*cks on the darkweb

  

Link to the n*de dudes

This photo on the teen idol site drew my interest. Dude is either gay or pretending. 

There are lots more of the two guys kissing, plus standard buddies hugging, and no icky girls.  Here he poses with "I keep my private life a secret, but I'm dating a dude" Pedro Pascal. 

He's Callan Farris,  best known for the Disney Channel teencom Gabby Duran and the Unsittables (2019-21).  13 year old Gabby soon learns that they are "unsittable" because they are alien children hiding out as humans. 

Callan plays Jeremy, a shapeless blob who is next in line for the throne of Gor-Monia, on Earth to hide from would-be assassins.  Most of his plots involve misunderstanding human customs, or having his alien powers accidentally cause disasters.  

The episode synopses and fan wikis don't mention any heterosexual interests. But Jeremy considers Gabby's friend Wesley (Maxwell Acee Donovan, "The Human Erection" on That 90s Show), his "sister" (he doesn't quite understand gendered nouns).  And he is "fond of" Julius (Kheon Clarke), a waiter at the teen hangout.  Sounds like a lot of gay subtext going on.

Callan was born in Los Angeles in 2007.  No other information about his childhood is available, but from his last name ("warrior" in Arabic) and some of his early roles -- Syrian Boy, Kadir Siddiqui, Rafi Elshami -- I'm guessing that he's Arab-American. He started his career in commercials, and moved into television playing "Very Sweet Kid" on a 2016 episode of Dr. Ken.

On the IMDB, Callan lists his "most famous" works as Gabby; Kings (2017), about a family in South Central during the 1990s L.A. riots; a 2018 episode of Grey's Anatomy where Jackson (Jesse Williams, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) treats a boy with cancerous tumors on his scapulae (shoulder blades); and the preschooler series Rocketeer (2019-20)

Two of his pre-Gabby roles have gay content:

In a 2018 episode of The Conners, gay kid Mark goes to the school Halloween party as iconic painter Frida Kahlo, and is turned away for anti-drag reasons.  Callan plays the neighbor boy Kazim. 

In a  2019 episode of Fuller House: Spencer (Kallan) appears in a segment of Wake Up, San Francisco, showing viewers how to up-cycle objects that they would ordinarily throw away, like turning wine bottles into flower vases. He has a love-hate relationship with Max Fuller (Elias Harger, left).

More after the break.  

Finn Bennett: Unexpected beefcake in "Backrooms" leads down a rabbit hole of gay teases. With some n*de Finns and Whishaw backside

 

Link to the n*de photos

Last weekend we saw Backrooms (2026), which  is not about the backrooms of gay bars where you get down with dudes. Based on a creepypasta, it stars Chiwetel Ejofor as Clark, a struggling furniture store owner and failed architect, who stumbles onto an Upside Down: endless yellow-walled office rooms, most empty, some with piles of melting chairs, bloody clothes, a Christmas tree, a mannikin equipped with a recording in Urdu...and misshapen, half-melted humanoids.

Clark recruits his employee Kat and her boyfriend Bobby (Finn Bennett), who photographed one of his commercials, to explore with him.  When he knocks on their door, Bobby answers shirtless.

As we have seen with the shirtless parking valets on Suburgatory, unexpected beefcake still has power. .  This screenshot doesn't capture the sudden joy of recognition.  I went home and looked up Finn Bennett.

Preliminary research yielded this photo on his Instagram, with the comment "I'm just a boy who likes to have fun."  I can see that.  

And a Google AI statement that he played a character "implied to be homosexual" in Domina.  

That's enough to start a profile.

I was expecting a recent university graduate with some theatrical experience and a few minor on-screen roles, but it turns out that Finn won the Trophée Chopard at Cannes in 2025, and was named a Star of Tomorrow by Screen International.  

He has his own wikipedia page, and so do his parents:

Ronan Bennett, famous novelist and screenwriter.

Georgina Henry, famous journalist, who died in 2014

Finn was born in December 1999 in Hackney, a rough but rapidly gentrifying neighborhood of East London.  He took acting classes at Stagecoach Performing Arts in Islington, and appeared in a 2013 episode of Top Boy, his dad's show about drugs and gangs in East London.  I know the area very well.

After taking his A-levels in maths, Finn applied to Queen's University, Belfast.  In Britain you have to apply to a field of study, so he found anthropology near the top of the list and figured "that's good enough.  I'll study that."  But then he decided to forego uni altogether in pursuit of an acting career, and worked in pubs and as a landscaper while awaiting his big break.  I'll check the highlights for gay characters.

Four episodes of Liar (2017-20), about a teacher who accuses the guy she went on a date with (Ioan Gruffud) of assault.  He plays Ewen, one of her students.

Finn's ear or his d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Four episodes of National Treasure: Kiri (2018): A black girl is murdered just as she is about to be adopted by a white family.  He plays Simon, the family's teenage son, a suspect (spoiler alert: he didn't do it).

Hope Gap (2019): A husband and wife announce to their adult son (Josh O'Connell) that they're divorcing.  According to the AI, Mom encounters a young man who has just lost his boyfriend, but I don't know if he is Finn's character.

Finn's big break came with the ancient Roman drama Domina (2021): Livia Drusilla struggles to acquire power, eventually becoming the wife of Gaius (Augustus Caesar).   Marcellus (Finn) is forced to marry Gauis' daughter Julia.  Sorry, AI, he's not just "implied," he has an explicitly s*xual realtionship with his slave Aprio (Pedro Leandro).  

The show was criticized for making the only gay character creepy, violent, and "deeply unpleasant." 

His next major role came in Series 4 of the anthology series True Detective (2024),  with Jodie Foster investigating murders in a research station in Alaska.  He plays Peter Prior, her protégé, with a wife and a corrupt cop dad.

In the spy drama Black Doves (2024), Cole Atwood (Finn) is a CIA operative assigned to the British Embassy.  Helen and Sam (Ben Whishaw) think that he murdered the Ambassador, but he turns out to be innocent. Sam is gay (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), but presumably Cole is straight.

More after the break.  

"Fionna and Cake": Complex adult-oriented sequel to "Adventure Time," with two out gay couples and lot of back story and backsides

 

Link to the n*de photos

The Cartoon Network series Adventure Time (2010-18) sent 12-16 year old human Finn (Jeremy Shada, left) and his magical dog companion Jake on adventures in the medieval-style world of Ooo (occupied by sentient candy, slime, and fire beings, plus a few animals and humanoids).  Eventually we learn that this is a post-apocalyptic world where things went wrong during the Mushroom Wars 1,000 years ago.  It gets more complex and much more sinister, with back story after back story, with Lovecraftian cosmic beings pulling the strings of the world, only to discover that there are darker gods changing reality on a whim. 

  All you really need to know about is the only same-sex romance in the series, between the Bubblegum Princess  --really an Elemental, one of the four substances that created the universe and all life, but presenting as a 16-year old girl -- and Marceline, a 1000 year old teenage vampire whose mentor Simon Petrikov put on a magical crown and became the insane Ice King -- got all that?  They become girlfriends in the last scene of the last episode -- typical, no open gay characters until series fade-out. 

Fionna and Cake were a gender-swapping Finn and Jake in the Ice King's fan fiction. Then an omnipotent being decided to bring them to life, and after some adventures, remove their magical powers and memories and place them in a pocket universe designed to look like a 21st century city.  But things are a little off-- generic names like "City Park", backgrounds a little smudged, everything tastes like cardboard, there is nothing but elevator music on the radio, nothing on tv but reruns of Cheers and Friends.  Cake is non-sentient, and Fionna is so discouraged that she keeps getting fired from dead-end jobs.

Episode 1.6, "The Winter King," features a meeting between the male counterparts of the Bubblegum Princess and Marceline: Gary Prince (Andrew Rannells, left), a baker who has discovered a way to give food taste; and Marshall Lee (Donald Glover, below), an aspiring musician who has discovered how to use a guitar. They kiss in Episode 1.7.

Rannells backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Both voice actors are gay in real life.

One day Fionna and Cake find their way to Ooo, where they meet Finn from the original series, now middle aged, and the Ice King, now reverted to human form as Simon Petrikov.  After many adventures on a variety of worlds, they decide that they like their original pocket-universe, and return in time to save their city from destruction under a godlike being named Scarab.  End of Season 1.

We hear all of this in the opening sequence of Season 2: it is told in story form to Simon (the former Ice King) and girlfriends Marcelline and the Bubblegum Princess by a little girl whose back story on the fan wiki is too complex to mention. So maybe the Fionna-Cake universe is still a fan fiction?  

 I think we're ready for a review of Episode 2.1.

Scene 1: Fionna awakens, relishing her new human life, and sets out with Cake into the still-recovering City.  She helps out at the places where she was fired previously, except for the tour bus ("on your left you'll see more destruction"), where tour guide Queenie (a gender-reversed, child version of the evil King of Ooo) calls her a "deadbeat."

Scene 2: Next the Candy Supply Store, where the shape-shifting, still-sentient Cake transforms into a buxom woman so she can flirt with the owner.  Fionna grabs the last bag of cocoa powder, but the evil Lady Cutter steals it and calls her a loser. They fight.

Scene 3: On the street, Fionna gets a call from Simon Petrikov, back in Ooo, who is living with the Bubblegum Princess and Marceline.  He'll start teaching magical arts at the university tomorrow. Meanwhile, Cake destroys all of the posters advertising DJ Flame, Fionna's ex (the gender-swapped version of the Flame Princess, Finn's ex).

Scene 4: In a forest on Ooo, a lion steals an orange from a tomb, and the Huntress Wizard, the middle-aged Finn's estranged girlfriend, gives chase.  She finds it in a cave with a cow and a duck, squeezing the juice into the mouth of the  nearly-unconscious Finn.  He is dying.   

More after the break

"Disclosure Day": Incessant heterosexism as the aliens announce their existence, 26 years too late. With Tommy d*ck and Boss Hogg backside

  

Link to the n*de dudes.

Today we saw Disclosure Day (2026) at the theater.  I'm not happy.  The plot is all mushed up, but I'll try to disentangle it.

The Kidnapping: We begin at a wrestling match, which gives us some beefcake.  But things go downhill fast.  Danny (Josh O'Connell) is there to hand over a backpack to the Bad Guys who have kidnapped his coworker or girlfriend or sister (we aren't sure which). Why is it always a kidnapped girl?  Why can't it ever be a guy?

 But he points an alien magic wand at them, and they're so flustered that they let him and the Girl drive away.  They hide out at the convent where she used to be a nun.

Big reveal: they only just started dating.  He's upset that she didn't inform him of her religious past, and she's upset because he has a briefcase with something that Bad Guys kidnapped her to get.

The Cardinal: Weather girl Margaret and her boyfriend (Wyatt Russell) are having problems.  She keeps being dissatisfied by the town they're living in, and insisting that they move, but Jackson likes it in Kansas City.  Also, her father died when she was 17, there's a pesky missing time incident from when she was 10, and animals and birds keep staring at her.

Today she was stared at by a cardinal, and suddenly could speak Russian.  She's late for work, so she zooms through downtown Kansas City, and when a cop stops her, gets out of a ticket by telling him about his marital problems, and advising him on how to reconcile with his wife.

At the studio, Margaret is going on the air in a few minutes, but she has to translate the Korean of a guy who is being interviewed but did not bring along an interpreter, stare at three people and give them advice about their marital partners (all heterosexual, over and over and over).  When she starts her broadcast, she begins speaking in a click language, then collapses.

The Big Reveal:  Danny is actually working for a guy named Hugo, who sends Operative Santiago (Tommy Martinez) to drive them to a safe house.  There he tells his Girlfriend that he has tapes documenting 70 years of the Evil Corporation harassing aliens: confiscating their crashed spaceships, stealing their technology, dissecting their corpses, imprisoning and torturing survivors.  An advanced alien civilization let this happen without retaliation?  Why aren't our cities smoking ruins?

The Evil Corporation wants to keep all of this hidden, because if the public finds out, they will panic.  Girlfriend thinks that if the public finds out, they will stop believing in God and start worshipping the aliens.  (She even telephones the convent to ask, but the Mother Superior says that her belief in God wouldn't be affected by aliens.)

Going North:  At the hospital, everything checks out.   The doctor asks about the missing time and her father's death, and suggests that Margaret began speaking in Russian, Korean, and the click language because she's under stress.  Really?   I'm under stress -- could I learn Mandarin?  

Margaret intuits that the Evil Corporation has sent goons to kill her, so she asks Boyfriend Jackson (left) to help her to the bathroom.  For some reason the bathroom opens out onto a hallway, and they can escape.  Margaret insists that they drive north to find "Danny."  She doesn't know who he is, but she wants to find him.  Boyfriend Jackson humors her for awhile, but finally he's had enough, and calls the hospital to fetch her  She scrams.

The Crucifix:   While Danny is out looking for cell phone to call Boss Hugo, the Head Corporate Guy -- I'll call him Boss Hogg because he looks and acts like a corrupt Southern sheriff in a 1970s trucker movie --  uses an alien magic wand to appear before the Girlfriend and force her to tell them where the safe house is.  "Oh, and if we don't get there in time, would you mind killing Danny yourself?"  She can avoid his mind control temporarily by jamming a crucifix into her hand, but it doesn't work for long.  

Left: The cop with marital problems.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Danny's d*ck, in case you haven't seen it lately.

Meanwhile, Weather Girl Margaret calls Danny to warn him that Corporate Goons are coming to kill him.  He sees their 28 cars from a distance, but instead of running away, he steals one of the cars, grabs his Girlfriend, and zooms away with them in hot pursuit.  

That night, as they are sleeping in a hotel in Indiana (at least seven hours from Kansas City by car, and they dumped their car over a cliff), Boss Hogg uses the alien technology to have Girlfriend reveal their location again!  Does Danny get smart and leave her there?  No, he shoves her out the bathroom window and allows himself to be captured. 

More after the break