Gemstones Episode 3.9: Five plot resolutions and a funeral. With collegiate c*cks and a Josh O'Connor bonus

Link to the n*de dudes

Title: "Wonders that Cannot be Fathomed, Miracles that Cannot be Counted." From Job 5,9, NIV.  Many terrible things have happened to Job, including physical ailments and the deaths of his children, but Eliphaz assures him that God can perform "wonders and miracles," and rescue him. We'll see what wonders and miracles God performs here.

Baby Billy is Bi:  Still trying to sell the siblings on his Bible Bonkers game show, Baby Billy reveals he is friends with Dusty Daniels, the racing champ.  We cut to a scene of the two, plus famous actor Gene Hackman  (played by Kevin Murray) in Monte Carlo on New Years' Eve, 1999.  They're awaiting the Y2K bug, hugging, dancing, and dropping acid as if it's the end of the world.  

We cut to an after-party, with Dusty, Baby Billy, and Gene Hackman doing stuff.  There's a male c*ck on display, but it morphs into a lady so fast that I can't get a screen shot, so I'll substitute Josh O'Connor (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends). 

We zero in on the guys facing each other.  Baby Billy's partner is a woman, but Dusty's may be a man -- remember that he was established as bi back in Episode 3.2.

"Wait, " Jesse asks, "Did did you f*k Dusty Daniels?"

"I doubt it,  but you never know...we might have touched each other. That's not the important part of the story."  The important part: he can talk Dusty Daniels into leaving his fortune to whoever wins at Bible Bonkers, the Gemstones or the Simpkins. 

So Kelvin came out to the family yesterday after years anguish, angst, self-doubt, backing-and-forthing, and annoyed viewers, and he still hasn't said the word.  Now Baby Billy comes out as bi with utter nonchalance.  Why couldn't he have said something to his nephew during Cousins' Night, or back in Season 1?

El Molino: We cut to a locust splatting on a windshield.  It's Uncle Peter and Chuck, driving the U-Haul full of explosives.  Peter has finally come up with a plan,  He doesn't specify what it is, but since it involves the Gemstones and explosives, it's not hard to figure out.  They're nearly out of gas, and the militia took all of their money, so they stop at El Molino, a real Hispanic supermarket with two locations in Charleston, to use the cash-counting machine.  

While Peter is inside, the U-Haul explodes!  He thinks that Chuck has been killed.

Out to the Family: The family gathers in Eli's parlor to watch a tv news report about Chuck's death.

Wait --when did the siblings stop hating their father?  Was a reconciliation moment cut?

 Notice that the guys are sitting on the right side of the room.  In four shots, Keefe moves from sitting a few inches away to leaning against the chair, his shoulder touching or almost touching Kelvin's thigh. They are so close that Kelvin can't move his hand or foot without bumping into him.

  They used to be very careful to avoid public displays of affection, holding hands under the table and forehead-pressing instead of kissing.  Now they casually cuddle in front of everyone, even family members who did not see the kiss.

They discuss the Bible Bonkers Family Feud-style game show.  The siblings will compete, but they need two more.  They were going to ask Chuck, a big Bible nerd, but he's dead, so it will have to be Karl and May-May.  

Cut to Jesse and Vance Simpkins (Stephen Dorf) at the Cape and Pistol Society, sniping at each other over who will win the Bible Bonkers game. Vance claims that he has the entire New Testament memorized.  

"We're going to humiliate your family," Vance proclaims, "On your own network. Let's see how far the mighty Gemstone Empire has fallen. They're all going to leave you.  Even God will forsake you."  God will forsake him for losing a Bible trivia game? 

Of all the gas stations in South Carolina:  Homeless, friendless, abandoned by his family, Peter sits outside a convenience store.  He prays: "I am in my darkest hour.  I am but a lost sheep in need of a shepherd.  Please give me a sign."

At that moment, Keefe pulls up in the Smut Busters van.  He's using that van for everyday chores?  Surely he and Kelvin have a dozen cars.   

He leaves the key in the van as he goes inside, so Peter steals it.

God saved you:  In the wilderness church, Karl and May-May mourn Chuck's death, clear off brush, and pray -- then she crosses herself   Surely somebody on the staff knew that only Catholics use that gesture.   Suddenly Chuck walks in!  He's alive!

Cut to the family back in Eli's parlor.  This time it's just Eli, the siblings, and the Montgomerys. Chuck explains that he made sure the parking lot was empty, then set off the explosion and ran away, so his Dad would think he was dead and he could escape.  

"Why were you super-mean to us, while we were in captivity?"  Chuck doesn't explain, but he avers that he didn't actually want them to die. Then why were you shooting at them?  Besides, he blew up the van to save them.  Doesn't that make up for the kidnapping?  I thought you blew up the van to save yourself.

So, about Bible Bonkers?  Chuck is a Bible expert, so May-May can drop out. The team will consist of Jesse, Judy, Kelvin, Chuck, and Karl.

Later, at the amusement park, Chuck tries to apologize to Jesse. They bond over having Daddies who are embarrassed by them. 

The Bible Bonkers Filming:   Apparently several weeks have passed. The Bible Bonkers set is finished, and they're going to film the first episode.

In the dressing room, Billy offers to give the sibling  the answers to the quiz questions.  Apparently once a grifter, always a grifter.  They refuse.  He claims that their parents were so neglectful, he practically had to raise them.   

As Gideon drives Eli and May-May to the filming, they see Peter in the stolen Smut Busters van.  He's up to no good!  Follow him! Why didn't Keefe report the van missing?

On set, the band starts to play and the dancers twirl about. Showtime! Baby Billy does a cheesy stand-up bit, then introduces the Gemstones vs. the Simpkins. 

Notice Kelvin's textured single-breasted green coat, "The Attico" from Farfetch, "The global destination for modern luxury."   It will become important later.

 The Simpkins team includes siblings Vance, Shay, and Craig, not seen since Episode 1, plus two young Asian girls.  Apparently they are ringers: there is no indication that any of the siblings has a partner or children.  Compare with the Gemstones, who, for all their faults, have devoted partners. 

Baby Bill asks easy fill-in-the-blank style Bible questions to Jesse-Vance and Judy-Shay.  The Gemstones lose.  

Now it's Kelvin-Craig's turn.  First Kelvin does a self-aggrandizing coat-swirling dance. Keefe, watching from the VIP section with the other partners, responds with a  weird robot thing.  It looks like he's following along with the move they practiced.  

Meanwhile, Gideon, May-May, and Eli follow Peter to the Salvation Center.   Couldn't they have called the police from the car?  Don't these people have cell phones?  He drives to the loading dock, on a day when there are no services, so he probably expects the church to be empty. 

When the Gemstones confront him,  he announces that he has filled the Smut Busters van with explosives, triggered by his fitbit watch.  Wait-- where did he get a second batch?

 May -May yells that both his sons are inside.  Chuck is alive after all.  At this point, Peter would probably give up the plan, but he is interrupted by......

More after the break

Isaac Ordonez models at Paris Fashion Week, with some boyfriends, Lucas from "Stranger Things," and Taylor in underwear

Isaac Ordonez is best known as the sweet, queer-coded Pugsley Addams on Wednesday,, and he's been in a few other tv shows and shorts, but he seems to be more interested in modeling.  In March 2026, he hit Paris Fashion Week.

 

He modeled the androgynous "Washed Out Match," by LaCoste designer Pelagia Kolotourosos.  She was inspired by a tennis game René Lacoste tried to play in 1923: it was washed out due to bad weather, but fans showed up anyway.

Dressed like this?

Galore comments:  "Isaac loves taking risks -- experimenting with textures, fabrics, and silhouettes."  

And gender stereotypes.

Here Isaac schmoozes with fellow LaCoste model Taylor Zakhar Perez, who played Alex in Red White and Royal Blue: The bad-boy son of the U.S. President, who falls in love with the stick-in-the-mud Prince Henry of Britain. 

Taylor's modeling is more masculine-coded, but he uses the same face-up pose.  Isaac has a bigger Adam's apple.

I don't think that Isaac is particularly drawn to gay actors, like Alfie Williams: he also posts photos with straight actors Aubrey Plaza (Rio on Agatha All Along) and Caleb McLaughlin (Lucas on Stranger Things).

Wait -- Aubrey Plaza is bi, and Lucas -- straight, but can you figure out why he might be of interest to a gay teen anyway?

Boyfriends after the break

Adam Basil: Bodybuilder, gay pirate, gay-subtext creature, gay-icon zombie. Are you getting the idea? With his mushroom, n*de Spartacus and Sherlock Holmes

   

Link to the n*de dudes

In the original stories, Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes shows no interest in women and a lot of interest in his "roommate," Dr. Watson.  But most film and tv versions aggressively heterosexualize the guys, sometimes with queerbaiting first.  So I had no faith in the new Amazon Prime series Young Sherlock Holmes. 

With good reason: he meets the Girl of His Dreams almost instantly.  Plus the reviews say that he's nothing like the traditional Sherlock; he's a gormless, idiotic, girl-chasing rapscallion.

The rapscallion's rear is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

But there was something of definite interest in the first scene (top photo): Mycroft Holmes goes to Newgate Prison to spring his wastrel brother (set up for pickpocketing, although he always returned the wallets after swiping them), and finds him at fisticuffs with the shirtless muscleman Barney (Adam Basil, top photo).  

Pecs, abs, biceps...dude, you're breath-taking.  Why have I never seen you in anything before?

Turns out that I've seen him in a lot of things, but he's playing characters named The Beast, The Butcher, and The Demon, under heavy stage makeup, so you can't really see his face.  Or physique.

Pity.

I didn't find a lot of biographical information, just what is listed on the IMDB: Adam grew up in the east of England, studied acting, and performed traditional British theater.  His "unusually high levels of athleticism" (meaning his muscles?) led him to creature work.

After a few small roles, Adam became Disney-famous for the live action version of Beauty and the Beast (2017) -- as the Beast, before the spell is broken and he turns into Dan Stevens.

Disney today, Marvel tomorrow: in 2021, he starred in Venom 2: Let There Be Carnage as the sarcastic, gay-coded symbiote who shares the body of journalist Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy). Shares the body?  Tell me more.

But it was his role as The Bloater in The Last of Us (2023) that sealed Adam's popularity with gay fans.  

Wait -- The Last of Us is about a zombie Apocalypse caused by a mutated wheat fungus.   The Bloater is completely covered with fungal pustules, which act like iron plates, making him impervious to bullets -- and giving him super-strength, so he rips people's heads off their bodies, like the zombie Samson in 28 Years Later.  

They also make him so disgusting that I had to avert my eyes whenever he appeared.  How does a being like that gain gay fans?

But in interviews in Out and The Pink News, Adam states that the Bloater has become a s*x symbol in the gay community.  He gets DMs that call him Big Daddy Mushroom.

Are you sure that they mean the Bloater, and not your mushroom....

Adam's mushroom is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

More after the break

The mystery of Kaito Daiki Diver's adult video

   

Link to the n*de photos

The n*de celebrity subreddit had a very nice video of someone named Kaito Daiki Diver.  But there is no  diver with that name.  The closest I could find was Japanese swimmer Daiyo Seto.

There is no Kaito Daiki Diver actor, singer, or any other celebrity.

But there's a character named Kaito Daiki in the Kamen Rider franchise.

Created by Shotaro Ishimori in 1971, the Kamen Riders are tokusatsu, special-effect powered superheroes like the Power Rangers.  Motorcycle-riding loners (until they team up), they wear special belts that transform them into masked, muscled, insect-motif beings.

The belt is called a doraiba, or driver in English.  Maybe the "diver" in Kaito Daiki Diver is a misspelling of "driver"?

To date there have been 36 Kamen Rider tv series in Japan (some are streaming in the U.S. on Amazon Prime).  Plus countless movies, video games, manga, toys, homages, parodies, fan conventions....

In the tv series Kamen Rider Decade (2009),Tsukasa Kadoya (Masahiro Inoue) must travel through the nine universes to fight space-time anomalies.  He encounters Daiki Kaito (Kimito Totani, left), a charming interdimensional thief who eventually reforms and becomes Kamen Rider Diend (named after his home world).  

In an interview, Kimito stated that the guys are involved in a romance, but I think it's subtext rather than text. 

Ryota Murai plays Kamen Kuunga.  Dozens of actors have played Kamen Riders, but this is the only guy I could find with n*de photos (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Except for the adult video.

But first I have to research Kimito Totani.

Born in Tokyo in 1990, Kimito  broke into on-screen acting with the martial arts movie Tsubaki Sanjûrô (2007) and a 2008 episode of the teen angst drama Gokusen.  But Kamen Rider sealed his career: he went on to play Daiki Kaito in twelve tv series, animes, and video games.  His most recent Kamen Riders are:

Kamen Rider Zi-O (2018): Sougu Tokawa (So Okuno) wants to become king, so he transforms into the titular Kamen Rider, but this has the side effect of collapsing the universe. 

Kamen Rider Zi-O Next Time: Geiz, Majesty (2020): In an alternate universe, some high schoolers try to achieve their dreams by  Kamen Riders. So Okuno is still trying to become king.

Kamen Rider Outsiders (2023): a cross-over anthology series.

Presumably he's played the character as gay throughout.

More after the break