Mar 29, 2020

"Undone": If I See One More Chicken-Peck Kiss....

"Stunning!"  "Entrancing" "You've never seen anything quite like this!"  "A masterpiece!"

Reviews like this usually mean "it's about heterosexual romance."

So I resist Amazon Prime's animated series Undone,even though the premise sounds interesting: After an accident, a young woman gets the ability to change reality.

But I get the spiel every single time I go on the Amazon website, "Watch this!  It's the most compelling television ever!  It's the greatst work of art of all time!  Shakespeare pales in comparison!  On your deathbed, you will recall this tv series as the most wonderful experience of your life!"

The curiosity gets the better of me.  I cautiously tune in.

Scene 1: Alma (Rosa Salazar) is driving through a big city, crying, her eye shadow running.  The animation is so realistic that we could easily be looking at real people; why even bother to animate it?

Suddenly she sees the world dissolving into blackness.  Then she's hit by a truck, spins out, and crashes into a telephone pole.

Scene 2:  Doing her daily routine, Alma narrates that she's "bored with living."  Every day she wakss up next to the same person, eats the same breakfast, works at the same job, and then compares two cans of beans at the supermarket.

If you don't like your boyfriend, your cereal, or your job, just get new ones and stop whining.

Scene 3: Alma is complaining to her sister about how "everything is pointless."  Sis just got engaged to Reed Hollingsworth (stupid made-up rich person's name!).  Alma doesn't like him because his parents are rude and racist (big deal -- so are mine).  She also disapproves of Sis getting married while their Dad is dead. So...never?

Scene 4: Alma goes home to her hot boyfriend (Siddharth Dhanajay, top photo) and kisses him like a chicken. Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!  Nauseating!  Then they swallow each other's faces.  She discusses how she doesn't want to get married or settle down.  Then they peck, peck, peck some more. Disgusting!  Fast forward...

Scene 5: Morning routine, then off to her job at the daycare center for meaningless interactions with the kids and Hot Coworker (Daveed Diggs, left).  I have to admit, this is boring, Could Hot Coworker at least take his shirt off?.

Scene 6: Morning routine, then to Mom's house to prepare for Sister's engagement dinner.  Tbey discuss Dad's death, 20 years ago, and how Alma never knew that he smoked!.

It's been 20 years, and Alma still disapproves of her sister getting married? Get on with your life, already!

Scene 7: Fancy restaurant where Boyfriend works as a waiter who gets paged.  Alma is upset that Mom is hiding horrible secrets, like Dad smoking, so Boyfriend tells about his mother's abusive first husband.  In other words, "Stop whining!"

They discuss their relationship, then chicken-peck-kiss.  I swear, one more chicken peck and I am turning this off, blog post or not.

Scene 8:  The engagement dinner.  Mom criticizes Alma and kisses Boyfriend (finally, a name!  Sam!).  Reed (Kevin Bigley, left) discusses how much he loves Sister (another name!  Becca!).  Alma sneers.

When are we going to get to the changing reality? You know, the interesting stuff?

Scene 9: Morning routine.  Alma asks "Do you ever feel like you're in a play, and everyone is just playing a role?"

Yep, that's classic solipsism.  Everybody gets it when they're around 16. You're 28 -- get over it.

Scene 10:  At an empty dive bar, Alma tells Becca that she broke up with Sam because she's afraid that she's going to become schizophrenic. Becca thinks she realized that Sam wasn't good enough for her.  The hot bartender flirtts with them.

Scene 11: At Alma's house.  Apparently they have invited Hot Bartender home for a three-way.  While he and Becca kiss,Alma throws up in the bathroom.

I don't get it, but at least Hot Bartender shows us his chest.


Scene 12:  Church.  Hot Priest (Tyler Posey) is talking about something boring.

Becca blames Alma for the hookup last night: "You wanted to destroy something because it wasn't yours! You're broken!!  You don't even know all the things that are wrong with you!"

Um...just tell your finacee=.  Maybe he'd like a three way with the Hot Bartender, too.  Heterosexuals make things so complicated!.

Scene 13: The accident from Scene 1, only this time Alma sees her dead father congealing out of the ooze,




Beefcake:  two guys with their shirts off.

Other interesting sights: No.

Gay characters: No.

Chicken-Peck Kisses: 15.

Whining:  Incessant.

Heterosexism:  Oh Lord, take me now!

2 comments:

  1. Neither one's my type but the 1st one has got a nice body, alright!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are actually 4 guys here: Sam the BOyfriend, Hot Coworker, Reed the Fiance, and Hot Priest. I couldn't figure out which of the cast members listed on IMDB was Hot Bartender.

      Delete

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