Link to the n*de dudes
When my generation was growing up, teachers, reference books, and movies always presented historical figures as absolutely, undeniably straight. My paperback copy of The Importance of Being Earnest said that Oscar Wilde was imprisoned "on scandalous charges." I asked the teacher what those charges were. She said she didn't know.
Everybody in West Hollywood went to see Caravaggio (1986), by filmmaker Derek Jarman (who announced that he was gay later that year). We were expecting a lot of cute Italian guys (there are some), and hoping that they would be n*de (no).
We were also hoping that Caravaggio would be presented as gay, but resigned to the likelihood that he would be straightwashed: turned heterosexual, or mostly heterosexual (a few men as trivial dalliances as he pursued the Woman of His Dreams).
He was straightwashed.
As a child and teenager, the artist (Dexter Fletcher, left), is the victim of abuse by Catholic clergy. This "turns him" gay, or rather pansexual.
As an adult (Nigel Terry), he is a decadent figure like something out of a Pasolini film, consorting with men and women, although he prefers women. He goes with both Raduccio (Sean Bean) and his girlfriend Lena. But Raduccio is just a dalliance; the heterosexual romance is True Love. Then Raduccio kills Lena, and a distraught Caravaggio kills him. Gay lives must always end in tragedy.
More after the break.
Left: Sean Bean
A recent biopic, Caravaggio's Shadow (2022), was directed by filmmaker Michele Placido, who is heterosexual. It is unavailable to stream in the U.S., but I analyzed the trailer.
The painter (Riccardo Scarmaccio) has been accused of murder, and is hoping for a papal pardon. The Pope (Maurizio Donadoni) sends an investigative reporter, L'Ombra (The Shadow) to gather information, resulting in some flashbacks about Caravaggio's life.
The trailer shows him hugging, kissing, and having a baby with The Woman of His Dreams, who has several shots of heavy-lidded gazes. One would think that the movie is about her.
L'Ombra is played by Louis Garrel (left). In AZ N*de Men, there are several shots of him being dragged away from a woman in the midst of doing stuff.
So I'm guessing that it's heterosexuals all the way down.
In 35 years, the straightwashing has gotten worse.
Bonus Italian guys
See also: "Da Vinci's Demons": An absurdly heterosexual Da Vinci, a bi guy who only likes ladies, two monstrous gay predators
Pasolini's "Arabian Nights": The less well-known tales told with pe* nises and homophobia
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