NYSocBoy's Beefcake and Bonding: The Top 15 Hunks of the "Righteous Gemstones" Civil War

Mar 11, 2025

The Top 15 Hunks of the "Righteous Gemstones" Civil War

**Link to the n* ude dudes**

Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.1, the short film about great-grandpa Elijah Gemstone (Bradley Cooper) grifting and murdering his way through the Civil War, was a nonstop sausage fest, with a cast of 18 men and no women. Granted, they were all soldiers, grim, grimy, injured, and dying, but still, their inner hunkiness shone through.

Instead of trying to profile them separately, I'll do them all at once, excluding Bradley Cooper and the three who have already been profiled (Charles Ambrose, Jackson Kelly). With such a large group, I'll limit my research to:

* Is he gay? A man with a wife or girlfriend will be identified as straight. Sorry, bi and closeted guys.

* Are there any n* ude photos? I'll just check AZ Nude Men and Instagram. No time to look through a lot of hookup sites.

1. Jim Cummings, Pete McCabe in Danny McBride's Halloween Kills, as Captain Cane, who accuses the pretend chaplain Elijah of gambling and drinking with the guys. He's kissing a lady a lot on his Instagram, so: straight.

Here Jim is preparing for a polar plunge. Yow.

2. Josh McDermitt, best known as Eugene on The Walking Dead, as Pastor Grieves, whom Elijah murders for the church offering money. Josh is straight, but likes to pretend to be gay for comedic effect by kissing dudes, har har.

3. Lew Temple, left, Axel on The Walking Dead, as a condemned Confederate soldier who asks conman chaplain Elijah to say a prayer for them, "send us out with a good one." He wishes his daughter happy birthday, so I'm going to guess straight.

4. Kimball Farley, star of the indie film Hippo, as Ned Rollins, who partners with Elijah to cheat during a card game with Captain McFall, and is later murdered. He and his girlfriend were profiled in the Love Issue of Cosmopolitan: their first kiss was at a stoplight. Straight.

5.James Landry Hébert (second from the left), the cowboy Wade on 1883, as Major McFall, whom Elijah cheats in a card game. He fills his Instagram and Facebook with photos of hot guys, and wishes happy birthday to his "partner in crime," so I'm going to say gay.

6. Paul Schneider, known for All the Real Girls (2003) and Lars and the Real Girl (2007), as an injured soldier. His Instagram consists of posts about an innocent man on death row, with no personal information, but he kisses girls in a lot of his photos on the IMDB, so I'm going to say straight.

7. Tim Johnson as a soldier. He played Squi on Freaky and Punk Boss on Daybreak. Otherwise he's difficult to research: there are over 20 Tim Johnsons with Instagram accounts, including a pastor, several "husband and fathers," a fitness trainer, and this guy. Maybe it's our Tim Johnson, maybe not.

I can't tell if he is gay or not.

More after the break

8. Charles Halford as a soldier bathing in the river. There's a d*ck shot, but it's too blurry to post. He fills his Instagram with art and nature photos, so I can't tell if he's gay or not.

9. Nicholas Heffelfinger, left, who performs in David Spade's Spade Brigade, as the jerky soldier who brags that he can't die, just before he is shot. He brought a lady as his date to the Gemstones Premiere Party, so I'm guessing straight.

10. Lion Way (his real name), "a young working actor who started taking classes at institutions like The Alliance Theatre and Drama Inc. at a young age." He has five acting credits on the IMDB and an Instagram with ten posts, mostly about his girlfriend. Straight.

11. Owen Campbell (left), Levi in Candy Land, as a condemned Confederate soldier. Told that they are letting Elijah go free because he's the chaplain, he asks "Couldn't you tell them that I'm your assistant chaplain?" Nope.

He's got an androgynous look, and I think he played a gay or bi character in As You Are (2016), so I'll go with gay.

12. Patrick Carney Jr. has 30 acting credits on the IMDB. He began his career many years ago as a fitness model (top photo). He's got a wife, so straight.

13. Alan Heckner, Bump Weathers in Doom Patrol, as Confederate Officer Clifford.

Bump?

He's got a lot of acting credits, including episodes of Cobra Kai, True Lies, Saints & Sinners, and Fight Night. He doesn't seem to be on social media, but I found his wedding registry: straight.

14. Voltaire Colin Council (named after the French Enlightenment philosopher?), is known as the sleazy mechanic in Uncle Frank. He has a day job as a bartender at Teets Raleigh. Yes, it's what you think it is. 'Nuff said.