Josh Henderson plays bad boys, gets tied up, but is too small or fundamentalist for n*de photos. With Vartan and Hutcherson to make up for it

  

I don't know what to think about Josh Henderson's whitebread name, generic handsomeness, and mildly muscular physique.  You can feel the privilege radiating out from his self-assured high-school jock smirk.  I don't know if I want to kiss him or slap him.

Link to the n*de photos

Or tie him up.  You know he'd make a good b*ndage bottom (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

According to his IMDB biography, Josh was born in...ugh...Texas, and grew up in Oklahoma.

His career started shortly after he graduated from Tulsa Memorial High School in 2000, on the talent show Popstars. This gained him a record contract, but the company went bankrupt before his record could be released.

So it was on to guest spots on Maybe Its Me and Do Over, and a starring role in the second season of  One on One (2002-03): A a sportscaster named Flex overprotects his teenage daughter, and disapproves of her relationship with the son of his hated rival.  Guess who plays the son.

Leeches (2003) is one of David DeCoteau's "gay people don't exist, but here are some guys hugging in their underwear" movies.  (They also get tied up and attacked by leeches.)

Josh's next major role was in Season 3 of Desperate Housewives (2006-07).  He played Austin McCann, the bad boy nephew of Edie Britt. He moves in with his fun-loving aunt and starts a relationship with the girl-next-door Julie, but an affair with a neighbor leads to a breakup, and he leaves Wisteria Lane forever. But Julie isn't exactly chaste: she goes on to have an affair with a married man, and gets (censored) after a  hookup with a friend (Charlie Carver, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

In Step Up (2006), Channing Tatum (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) plays a juvenile delinquent who becomes a dancer and meets The Girl, but she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend. Guess who.

More after the break

"The Front Runner," homophobia, and angst in the gay bookstore in Hell-fer-Sartain

When I was in college in the early 1980s, you couldn't do a keyword search for "gay fiction," and get 1,000 hits.  I sometimes found fiction with gay characters or gay themes by accident.  Death in Venice and Billy Budd were assigned by professors who didn't mention the gay content, and vociferously denied it when I asked. 

Left: The Death in Venice ballet.

A carefully-worded inquiry to my artistic, sophisticated friend Aaron led me to Samuel Delaney's Neveryon.  

Fred the Ministerial Student, my first boyfriend, told me about The City and the Pillar.

But usually I just scanned the shelves in the library stacks, looking for titles that evoked evil: A Thirsty Evil, The Young and the Evil 

Or loneliness: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, The Well of Loneliness.

Or the need to be somewhere else: Other Voices, Other Rooms, Another Country

It was easy, but rather depressing.  I wondered if this was what gay life was like: tawdry, empty, despairing, doomed?  

 

After receiving my M.A., I spent a horrible, soul-destroying year teaching Bonehead English in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas.  There was a gay neighborhood in Houston, but it was 17 miles away, which meant two hours in the worst traffic I have ever seen, there and back, probably a flat tire from the endless construction. and guys who were so deeply closeted that they had a wife back home and wouldn't tell you their real name.

 

The one bright spot was the Wilde n Stein Bookstore on Westheimer. It sold honest to goodness gay books.  I couldn't afford many, but those few opened up a whole world of gay history and culture: 

Hidden from History

The Celluloid Closet

Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality

Byron and Greek Love

The fiction, not so much.  Sure, they had open, overt gay characters and contemporary settings, but:  Dancer from the Dance, The Kryptonite Kid, The Beautiful Room is Empty, The Boy Who Picked the Bullets Up, Dance on My Grave, Nocturnes for the King of Naples...

They still had key words about death, darkness, sadness, and evil, and they still painted gay life as tawdry, empty, and doomed.

The worst offender was The Front Runner, by Patricia Nell Warren. I bought the second edition, printed in 1978, with the beefcake drawing of a muscle daddy horrified by the idea of being gay as he gazed at a skinny blond twink.  

 I don't remember much about the plot, just a feeling of palpable disgust at four scenes that traumatized me for life.   

1. Muscle Daddy Harlan, fired from his job as athletic director at a major university, goes to work at a gay-friendly college in upstate New York founded by a guy who brags about how he and his lover fool the straights: the lover pretends to be a woman, dressing in drag and flaunting around.  "Have another cocktail -- darling!"  "Fooled them all the time."  Thhe partner wasn't transgender, or even a drag queen; he simply had to pretend to be a woman.  Two men together can never survive in the straight world. They must be male and female. Yuck.

More after the break

Aidan Merwarth: Finn's wannabe boyfriend, pencil company exec, juvenile delinquent, brat. With 3 d*cks and inconclusive social media

Link to the n*de dudes

In Season 2 of Unprisoned, gay-coded Finn (Faly Rakotohavana) and his family go to group therapy. Mom complains  that he spends all day online, not interacting with anyone in real life, so he'll never "fall in love, get married, and have a nice life."  I'm not getting into the assumption that you have to be married to have a nice life.  The therapist assigns Finn to "make a friend," presumably a friend that he could fall in love with.

He invites Spencer (Aidan Merwarth) to his room, but doesn't want to play video games or watch tv or anything.  Dude, if you're not going to make out with him, at least give him something to do.

Spencer plays with his phone for awhile, gets bored, calls Finn a "baby" (you wanted a real man?), and leaves.  He re-appears at the college fair to taunt Finn again.  Well, can you blame him?  Dude thought he was going to at least get some smooching.

Finn remains gay-vague, his s&xual identity unconfirmed through two seasons.  

I wanted to know about this guy who is playing a gay subtext or maybe gay-text teenager.

He was born in July 2022, and grew up in San Antonio, where he was homeschooled.  So either he's a fundamentalist Christian, or he goes on so many auditions that he has no time for school. 

 

He has 133 friends on Facebook.  

He's an acrobatic gymnast.  In 2015, at the International Acro Cup in Poland. Aidan and his sister Devon won second place in the mixed pair 11-16 age range

He attended the Los Angeles Film School, graduating with a B.S. in Animation in 2025.

He has eight acting credits on the IMDB.

A Girl Named Jo (2019). on Brat TV, features two girls trying to unravel a mystery at Attaway High School in 1963.  Aidan appears in four episodes as Felix, apparently Jo's boyfriend.

Another Brat TV series, Crazy Fast (2019), has a group of outsiders join the track team at Attaway High. Colin McCalla (n*de picture on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) stars.  Aidan plays Eamon, a runner "whose past with Rowan threatens everything."

Another straight guy, darn it.

The Forgotten Place is a short about Eric (Jeff Locker), who wants a friend.  He finds one (Brian Flaccus), but apparently he means a platonic friendship.

In Saving Paradise (2021), a "ruthless corporate executive" (William Moseley) has to return to his small town when he inherits his father's struggling pencil factory. At Christmastime.  He has to save it and win The Girl (named Charlie, just to fool you into thinking there's a gay romance).

So Paradise is a pencil factory?  I guess it beats saving the annual Christmas festival.  Aidan plays the  rutless corporate executive as a teenager, already in love with The Girl.

But a pencil factory?  When was the last time you used a pencil?  Or saw one?

More after the break

Male Nudity in Italian Class

The only good thing about Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas, where I taught at a horrible state college after getting my M.A., was the free tuition for faculty.  There wasn't a lot at that I wanted to take, but they did offer Italian.

It didn't start out well:
Roger e un ragazzo americano. Maria e una ragazza italiana. Roger e Maria sono amici. . .

Roger is an American boy visiting Italy. He goes to a café and tries to pick up a local girl. In the first lesson we learned “What is your name?”, "Your country is beautiful," and "How old are you."

Roger learns the time so he won’t be late for the cinema, learns the names of food so he can order in the restaurant, gets an overview of national history as they tour the museums.  In Chapter 10, we learn the Italian word for "kiss" (bacio).

Why do even language-learning dialogues have to be about  boys and girls gazing at each other?  

I never thought of Italy as a "good place."  The only fiction I read about Italian men  in love was The Little World of Don Camillo, and movies set in Italy seemed to involve mostly horny heterosexuals: Roman Holiday (1953), La Dolce Vita (1960),  Island of Love (1963).  Pasolini was gay in real life, but his moves were entirely heterosexist.  I had never seen Ernesto (1979).

But one weekend I drove two hours into Houston, to the Wilde-and-Stein Bookstore, and bought Ganymede in the Renaissance, about how Renaissance artists used the myth of Ganymede, a mortal boy swept up by Zeus to become his catamite.

And I discovered a whole gay world in Renaissance Italy, artists, writers, statesmen.

1. Leonardo Da Vinci. He gets a girlfriend in modern straightwashing biopics, but he was gay.

2. Michelangelo.  He gets straightwashed a lot, too. 

3. Donatello, who sculpted the famously effeminate David, a counterpart to Michelangelo's more macho version.

4. Benvenuto Cellini.  His Autobiography was on the list of recommended readings in my class in Renaissance History in college.  I didn't read it, and the professor never said a word.

5. Caravaggio, played by Dexter Fletcher and Nigel Terry in the 1986 movie.

6. Aretino, who wrote Il Marescalco, about a gay man forced to marry a woman, but fortunately she turns out to be a man.

7. Ariosto.  I bought his Orlando Furioso in a Ballantine Adult Fantasy edition, but it was about winning The Girl.

8. Matteo Bandello, who wrote 12 Novelle, one about a gay man.

9. The painter Giovanni Antonio Bazzi, nicknamed "Il Sodoma"



See also:  "Da Vinci's Demons": An absurdly heterosexual Da Vinci, a bi guy who only likes ladies, two monstrous gay predators

Pasolini's "Arabian Nights": The less well-known tales told with pe* nises and homophobia

"Caravaggio's Shadow": As time goes by, the gay Baroque painter becomes more and more straight. With n*de Italian men

Iain Armitage: Young Sheldon grows up, hugs guys, celebrates Pride. With n*de Galecki, Fisher, and Simon Rex

Link to the n*de dudes

I didn't like The Big Bang Theory (2007-19), featuring Johnny Galecki as the (relatively) stable center of a group of wacky nerd scientists who can't get any  "big bangs."  The hetero-horniness was incessant, and there were so many homophobic statements -- mostly asserting that all gay men wear dresses and prance  --- that I was more amazed than offended  Wasn't Jim Parsons, who played the neurotic physics savant Sheldon Cooper, gay?  Why didn't he protest?  (Apparently he was closeted until around the fifth season.) 

But I liked Young Sheldon (2017-24), about Sheldon Cooper's childhood, growing up in East Texas in the 1990s with a conservative Baptist Mom, a macho football-coach Dad, a macho muscle-building brother, and...you get the idea.

I grew up in the Nazarene Church, which taught that Baptists were much too liberal.  I could relate.

Plus there were lots of cute guys.  Sheldon's older brother Georgie (Montana Jordan) had musclebuilding plotlines before they switched to a "getting a girl pregnant" story arc.

If you're into chubs (and who isn't?), Dad Lance Barber had it all.

Next door neighbor Billy (Wyatt McClure) was too young to be hot, of course, but he had that puppy-dog cuteness that makes you say "Aww, how adorable!"  I figured that he would eventually come out, but instead the writers decided to give him a crush on Sheldon's sister.

And how about Rex Linn as Tom Peters, the longsuffering principal at Sheldon's high school. Wait, this is Simon Rex (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

There were no gay characters -- with or without Jim Parsons as executive producer, this was still a "family friendly" (non gay) show.  But also no casual homophobia.  Just a few references suggesting homophobia, as when someone asks if Sheldon is...you know, and Dad angrily yells "NO!"

And in Season 5, Sheldon tells his roommate Evan (Motoki Maxten) that he doesn't want to date girls because they are a distraction. 

"So you're into guys?" Evan asks nonchalantly.

"No, they're a distraction, too."

Actually, he turns out to be asexual hetero-romantic, although this is never specified on The Big Bang Theory.

But I'm pretty sure that Iain Armitage (Young Sheldon) is gay.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.2: Kelvin clenches, Keefe dances, and everybody flirts with Eli. With a n*de Texas dude bonus.

 

Previous: Episode 2.1 Review, Continued: Keefe's kiss, Kelvin's b*ner, and a thug with broken thumbs

In Episode 2.1, while we establish the Kelvin/Keefe, Judy/BJ, and Jesse/Amber conflicts of the season, Eli's old friend Junior stops by, and acts very much like an ex-lover.  They go out to dinner and beat up a tough.  Now we see the aftermath.

Link to NSFW version

Eli Gemstone indicted! Thaniel Block sits on the porch of his rental house in the South Carolina woods, reading some news stories from 1993: Gemstone Family Studios to close due to "a financial and rumors of  sexual scandals," with $4 million missing.  Another article: "Eli Gemstone indicted on charges of fraud and conspiracy." But Episode 2.5 takes place at Christmas 1993.  When did all this happen? Geezer Tim drops by to criticize him for living in New York and having a "nasty attitude." 

A Hot Piece of Tail: Judy and BJ visit Eli to ask him to officiate in BJ's baptism.  They find him asleep on the couch in the parlor. Junior enters and asks "Who's this hot piece of tail?"  He's actually looking at BJ, but Eli assumes that he means Judy and says that she is his daughter.  He apologizes and asks if BJ is her lesbian partner. BJ starts to answer, but Judy cuts him off.

There are several takeaways here.  First, Eli and Junior did not sleep together; Eli fell asleep on the couch. Weren't there any guest rooms in his mansion? 

Second, check out Junior's magenta bathrobe, jaunty hand on him, and pinky ring: he is deliberately presenting as queer.   

Third, Eli may have mentioned that one of his children is gay, and Junior forgot which.

Execretions and Hep C Loads:  After Junior heads to the kitchen to make coffee, Judy wants to know what's going on.  Eli tells her that "things got a little carried away last night," which she interprets to mean that they are having rough s*x.  He grimaces in disgust, but plays along to mess with her.  

Her main criticism is that Junior is unattractive: "I always hoped that if you were gonna yank a pole, it would be someone hot."  So Judy has considered the possibility that Eli is bisexual for a long time. 

She states that the "hookup" signifies that Eli doesn't care about his family.  Remember that Jesse likewise complains that Kelvin "popping boners" with the muscle men is "selfish, not helping the family."  But it's not just gay s*x; on this show, having a partner of any sort is framed as a betrayal.  The family is aghast when Judy wants to move off the Compound with BJ; Baby Billy is still hurt over his sister Aimee-Leigh "leaving him" to marry Eli.  

As they storm out, Judy cautions BJ to not touch anything, as there are probably execretions and Hep C loads everywhere.  This is a call back to Abraham leaving his semen everywhere in Jesse's house, plus an awareness that Hepatitus C can easily spread through s*x, so it is particularly common in gay communities.

Good Sniffer Seats: After they leave, Eli joins Junior on the back patio, overlooking the reflecting pool that leads to Aimee-Leigh's shrine.  Eli invites him to church, but he worries about the cost.  Junior avers that he's been to enough strip joints to know that you have to pay for the "good sniffer seats."  I can't find the term "sniffer seat" defined anywhere, but I guess that it's a seat close enough to the stage to smell the performers.  There are male clubs, but he's probably referencing a lady's club, being a hetero horn dog, backing off from the implication of gay activity. 

But not entirely: Eli offers to reserve a good seat for him, and the guys hold hands!

On closer examination, it turns out to be a man and a woman holding hands. We have cut to a scene involving Jesse and Amber's marital advice group. But it is so abrupt that the misdirection must be intentional.  The man is even wearing a shirt the same color as Junior's robe.

After the group meeting, Matthew and Chad ask why Jesse's old crew isn't hanging out together anymore.  This is all marital stuff, heterosexual nuclear family stuff; what happened to the band of brothers, savage and free?  Gregory explains; "I love you guys, but happy wife, happy life."

This is becoming an ongoing question in this season: how do you balance phileo and eros, the fraternal love of family and friends and  desire that creates husbands, wives, and lovers?  The Bible says that we must abandon phileo for eros, "leave their father and mother and cleave to their husband or wife."  Kelvin is trying to combine the fraternal and the erotic by forbidding romance. BJ is trying to negotiate both.

You Got a Hound Dog Here: Cut to Thaniel visiting the Salvation Center, where he admits that he has s*xual-scandal dirt on Aimee-Leigh, gathered from household staff.  Well, at least Kelvin is off the hook.

The World's Most Famous Christian: Next, Jesse and Amber visit the Lissons in Texas for a party to celebrate the proposed Zion's Landing resort. Joe Jonas, the World's Most Famous Christian, leads everyone in a line dance.  He proclaims his heterosexuality, singing about the "beautiful girls" he's been with while wearing a formless leopard robe and pink bandana, the antithesis of Kelvin's tiger jacket and club bulge. Desire for women un-mans a man, renderng him soft and sickly; only in the manly love of comrades can a man be strong and free.

More after the break

Johnny Karn: Lost virginity, pretentious straightness, psycho-slashers, and the most incredible d*ck you've ever seen

Link to the n*de photos

I found some very impressive photos belonging to someone named Johnny Karn, actor, with the most incredible d*ck you've every seen.  Even if he's a straight jerk, he's getting a profile.

#1: Is he gay in real life?  This requires checking his Instagram, Facebook, or in a pinch, TikTok.

Gay potential: "Two homies are standing up against bullying."

But Homie #2 is Alex Sola, whose Instagram consists almost entirely of photos establishing his marriage to the Most Beautiful Woman in the World.  The Homies were just pretending to be gay.

Plus Johnny poses with a woman and two young girls, saying: "Drinking deep from the chalice of life and holding our loved ones close."

Not only straight, but straight and pretentious.  

I already dislike this guy, but who cares?  His membrum virile is magnificent by every measure: length, width, and so on.  

#2: Has he played any gay characters?  This requires checking the IMDB, and maybe some episode synopses.

Research problem: there's no Johnny Karn.  The IMDB suggests Johnny Carson and John Karn, whose only screen credit is Jinxed (2000).   Our guy ain't Johnny Carson, and he's too young to be John Karn.

Turns out that he goes by John Karna on stage, and Johnny Karn in everyday life. 

Johnny Karn -- I mean John Karna -- was born in 1992 in Harris County, Texas.  Ugh, I spent the worst year of my life in Hell-fer-Sartain, Harris County, as an English instructor at Homophobia U.  

He graduated from Stanford High School in 2011,  and enrolled at the University of Oklahoma as a musical theater major. That's only marginally better. 

During his freshman year, he started his on-screen acting career with Bindlestiffs (2012): three high school guys, including Johnny as John Woo, are desperate to lose their virginity.  

He was also cast in as the lead in Premature, which premiered in 2014 at the SXSW FIlm Festival: A high school boy has to relive losing his virginity over and over until he meets with the right girl. What's with this "losing your virginity" theme? 

Among his misadventures: having to pleasure himself for the men's volleyball team when he calls them homophobic, although they are allies, and one of the team members is gay. 

Johnny's very attractive backside is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

 IndieWire named Johnny one of the "top 10 breakout stars" of 2014, so he dropped out of college and moved to Los Angele. Much better.  Get a place in West Hollywood.

More after the break

The 5 Most Horrible DMVs

The DMV is the Department of Motor Vehicles, the most horrifying, soul-destroying institution every invented in the board rooms of hell.  Its sole function is to cause you as much pain and torment as possible.

Every time you move to a new state, you must devote at least one full day, probably more, to being tortured at the DMV.

And I've moved to a lot of new states.

 Here are the worst DMVs, in order:

1. Ohio.  There are two places to go, one to get your new license and the other for your registration, on opposite sides of town, neither with titles that sound like what they are ("Assistant County Examiner" or something).  The registration one is only open on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but not if it is raining: "The license examiners will not examine your car in the rain."  Which make sense, I suppose, but if you have only one month from the date you move to the state, finding a free Tuesday or Thursday when it's not raining is difficult.  And finding several (they always send you back for more documents) is almost impossible.

2. Texas.  When I moved to Texas for my horrible year in Hell-fer-Sartain, everybody was brand new at their jobs, having just moved down from the Rust Belt (80% of the population of Hell-fer-Sartain was from Michigan, Ohio, or Indiana. So the clerk filled out the form wrong, and six weeks later my driver's license arrived at a house down the block, with the address wrong and my name spelled wrong.  Six more weeks later, a "replacement" driver's license appeared.

3. Pennsylvania.  At the entrance, there are two lines, with signs stating "With a picture id" and "Without a picture id."  I don't know why I thought they would be telling the truth, after my experiences in California and Ohio, but like a idiot I pulled out my picture id card and waited.  An hour later, I got to the front of the line, and was told "This line is for people who are getting their driver's license for the first time.  That line over there is for people who want to transfer from a new state."  Go wait over there for an hour and a half.

Did I mention that Pennsylvania requires two exhaust emission tests?  From different places on the other side of town from each other.

4. California. Make an appointment in advance, but even then, you are going to be waiting for six hours, until they close and tell everyone to go home and come back in the morning.  Where they say they will take those with appointments yesterday first.  Maybe they do, but it still takes four hours to go through the various lines.  Ten hours altogether.  I hope you packed a lunch.

5. New York.  Don't even think about moving to New York.  The DMV is a nightmare of epic proportions.

Every time I stood in one of the interminable lines, the clerk would invent some other document I needed.

Birth certificate.

The title (it's a leased car, so I don't have the title).

A form sent by the person sitting at a desk in an archive in Vermont who actually has physical access to the title.

My proof of insurance.

No, not proof of insurance coverage that began three months ago; it has to be a form indicating that you have insurance coverage on this exact day.

I went back day after day, talked to different clerks every time, and got different and contradictory information about what forms I would need to fill out.  Finally, after jumping through hoop after hoop,  I was waiting for one last form for Grace from my insurance company to fax the fifth insurance form that they wanted directly to Debbie at the DMV.

"When this one comes in, we'll be done, right?" I asked.  "You'll allow me to register my car in this state?"

"Yes, that's the last document we'll need," Debbie said.  Then: "Well, I'm going home for the day.  Someone else will help you."

"No!  No!" I yelled.  "Someone else will just invent more documents that I need, and I'll have to start all over again."

"Well, my shift is over.  I'm going home."

"Could I come back tomorrow and see you then?  Every DMV clerk has different requirements, so someone else will make me do different things."

"You'd have to step to the back of the line and wait for another hour. Just go to the next person when your form comes in."

I waited.  20 minutes later, Grace faxed over the fifth insurance form .  I wanted in line for the next clerk.

"Oh, you have everything you need, except for the afidavits that you don't have any DUI convictions at any of the previous states that you have lived in.  Just call the local police department at each of the cities you lived in, and have them send you the forms...."

I just noticed that there's no specifically gay content in this post.  So here's a cute guy to tide you over.

See also: DMV: Workplace comedy set in the Department of Motor Vehicles, with Keefe, the guy from "Peacemaker," and a hung archaeologist

Jackson Kelly: A killer doll, a killer pumpkin, a paranormal trap, shirtless Hicks, and a year of d*cks

Link to the d*cks

I was interested in profiling Jackson Kelly, who played one of the dying Civil War soldiers in Righteous Gemstones Season 4.  He was somewhat difficult to research, since there are a lot of Jackson Kellys out there, including a female adult video actor, but I finally I found some newspaper articles and podcasts from our Jackson's home town. 

Jackson Kelly grew up in Waco, Texas, the heart of the homophobic Bible Belt, and had trouble pursuing his dream: the nearest acting class was two hours away, and for auditions, his parents had to drive him six hours to Austin.  There are three theaters in Waco.

In April 2020, COVID hit, and the Vanguard College Preparatory School went online. They have a Latin Club, but no GSA, and no mention of LGBT non-discrimination.    So he packed his stuff and moved to L.A., with the full support of his parents.  If I liked to wear evening gowns, I'd be getting the heck out of Waco regardless. 

Jackson's first industry job was a production assistant for a company making commercials -- a lot of manual labor, moving stuff from here to there.  Then he began appearing in commercials and "zero-budget" independent films:

My Year of D*cks, 2022: he has one that the girl tries to get.

Splinters, 2022: after the death of his father....f*k the Sadness

Witch Mountain, 2022: Two teens, male and female, develop psychic powers.  You see where this is heading.

Portrait of a Young Man, 2022: Jackson, the Young Man, is struggling with "his identity."  Sounds like a coming out story, but in the trailer he kisses a girl.

Hard Miles, 2023: Matthew Modine plays a social worker who organizes a 1,000 mile bicycle trip to the Grand Canyon for a group of teen convicts, including Smink, played by Jackson.

Left: Matthew Modine jumps rope in Vision Quest.

The Western The Warrant: Breaker's Law, 2023, with Dermot Mulroney as the villain. Jackson plays someone named Brig Farkus.  At least he has some interesting character names.

Five episodes of Lucky Hank, 2023, a quickly-cancelled series about college English/creative writing professor Bob Odenkirk having a midlife crisis/meltdown. 

Jackson plays an aspiring novelist named Barstow Williams-Stevens. In the trailer, he throws shade at the prof during class: "You haven't said anything for an hour and a half. Would you please say something?  Your only novel isn't even available in your own campus bookstore."  The prof responds in kind, and gets in big trouble.

More after the break

"English Teacher" Episode 1.8: Birthday party at a leather daddy bar, with Evan deciding between two boyfriends

Link to the n*de photos 

English Teacher, on Hulu, stars Brian Jordan Alvarez as an old-school gay guy in a world that's moved on.  He doesn't understand nonbinary, asexual, pansexual, and the other "queer" identities of his high school students, and expects everybody to be homophobic. And they are, sort of, expressing stereotypes and misinformation but completely nonchalant about the gay teacher in their midst. I reviewed Season 1, Episode 8, the season finale: "Birthday"

Teaser:  Student Eddie (Blaise Reyes, right) reveals to Evan (Brian Jordan Alvarez) that he's gay, but afraid to come out to anyone. Evan is dumfounded: It's 2024, just go out in the hall and say "I'm gay." Talk to one of the 200 out gay students.  Living in a fantasy world, dude?  Over 90% of LGBT students report hearing homophobic slurs at school. over half bullying and harassment, and 12% assault.  

"But not the unspecified queer students -- they're mostly straight.  Find a real gay, queeny."  It's a gay guy giving him this homophobic advice.

Evan doesn't want to go out: Evan's queeny ex-boyfriend Malcolm (Jordan Firstman) -- think Jack to Will on Will and Grace -- is planning a birthday blowout at a "leather daddy bar,"  because he'll be 35, and somebody needs to "s*ck your d*ck."  (that's how the subtitles phrase it).  Evan doesn't want to go, for reasons.  

The parking lot: Tom of Austin, with a gigantic sign. Evan is wearing a ridiculous vinyl shirt and gym shorts, afraid that one of the parents will see him and get upset.  Any parent that sees him in a leather daddy bar will be fine with it.  He's about to call it off and go home, when he's cruised by a muscular hippie -- maybe it will be ok. 

Left: the hippie is not listed on the IMDB

Surprise!  All of his work colleagues are there.

At the bar:   The standard straight-person-at-a-gay-bar things happen.  The Principal (Enrico Colantoni) gets groped repeatedly by a leather guy who won't take "no" for an answer, and tries not to look at the videos on every tv set: "it's two men!"   What did you expect, dude?

It's actually not a leather bar.  Some shirtless daddies around, but also some swishy twinks, and the bartender is a woman wearing cat ears.

The homophobic-ish Coach (Sean Patton) -- the kind who says "you can't help being a swishy queen.  I got your back" -- runs into his old high school teammate, Chuck (David Shae), and is shocked to discover that he is gay, or as he puts it, "I sleep with men."  Running into a gay guy at a gay bar?  Shocking!  

 "Wait -- you weren't gay in high school.  You had a hot girlfriend.  What happened?"

"I was closeted."

"It's hard to believe that a swishy gay guy made the winning touchdown in the big game."

More after the break

"English Teacher": Gay teacher, his ex-boyfriend, and his homophobic buddy face woke culture and get naked

Link to the nudity

I spent the worst year of my life teaching English at Homophobe State University in Hell, aka a far northern suburb of Houston, Texas. The minute I submitted the last of the final grades, I got in my car and drove nonstop until that blessed "You are now leaving Hell" sign was receding into the distance.

So the new Hulu series, English Teacher, about an English teacher in small town Hell...I mean Texas...piqued my interest.  I could relive how hideously horrible it was, from the safe distance of my living room a thousand miles away.

Score -- none of the promotional materials let on, but this English teacher, Evan, played by Brian Jordan Alvarez,  is gay.  Let the rampant homophobia begin.

Left: the worst place in the world

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends, Brian Jordan Alvarez's cock, to take your mind off the horror.

Wait -- in English Teacher, everyone knows that Evan is gay.  Not a problem.  The problem is, he's kind of a jerk.

The much more woke students want to cancel him, for instance, because he said that he couldn't understand why lesbians aren't attracted to men.  Lots of people aren't attracted to men, idjit!

In the first episode, a parent wants him fired, claiming that he turned her kid gay by kissing his then-boyfriend and current hookup, played by Jordan Firstman, in front of the class.  

He has to prepare a defense for the school board, so he writes an impassioned essay on homophobia and gay rights, claiming that it was act of love between life-partners, and if he kissed a woman, it would be celebrated.  But Dude is not totally blameless: in a flashback, we find that the kiss was not a little peck. There was grinding and butt-grabbing. 

More after the break