Apr 20, 2026

Operation Taco Gary's: A gay video star, Keefe, the "American Pie" guy, the d*ck that got censored, tacos, and aliens. And everybody's gay.

**Link to the n*de dudes**

Tony Cavalero (yes, I still follow his Instagram) announced that Operation Taco Gary's, which he completed in 2023, has finally found a broadcast home, on Amazon Prime. I've been waiting for this for awhile, so here goes:

Scene 1: As the radio announces the death of actor Jason Biggs (best known for the American Pie franchise), a guy runs through the woods in his underwear, holding a book or a box. He yells "F*k you, Biggs!"

Flashback to the child Underwear Guy and his buddy or brother trying to destroy their neighborhood. As an old fat guy sunbathes in s Speedo, Child Underwear Guy accidentally pushes his buddy into a wall, knocking him out. He runs away, past a sign saying "Moving sale. Please buy my stuff."

Scene 2: In a run-down house, a guy is lying on the bed, despondent, while his roommate or boyfriend, Luke (Dustin Milligan), sells off their stuff. They're moving to Ottawa. Wait -- the moving sale is in the present. What about the kids? They weren't Underwear Guy and his buddy?

Someone asks about a painting of the Pope eating dinner with Big Foot. "It's not mine. I'm basically Jewish."

"That's not true," a voice calls from another room. "I've seen his p*nis." (Censored description).

It's Underwear Guy, Luke's long-lost brother! He's a conspiracy theorist who lives off the grid, and he brought the painting because the Catholic Church is supressing evidence of Bigfoot.

They discuss Luke's move to Canada. "You got a girlfriend up there?"

"No. I wish." Heterosexual identity established at Minute 7. "I'm a new paleontology researcher. I start on Monday."

Underwear Guy guilts his way into an invitation to come along. Who was the roommate despondent over Luke leaving? Maybe a random person trying out the bed? A little confusing, director!.

Scene 3: Driving to Canada on narrow country roads through the woods. On the radio: "Jason Biggs' death has been ruled a homicide" Underwear Guy looks suspicious.

Left: Research reveals that Underwear Guy is played by Simon Rex, unrecognizeable from his early days in gay-ish videos.

They stop at Taco Gary's for lunch. Undewear Guy claims that his days of scamming the Portuguese mafia out of Taiwanese ketamine are over. He just wants to be a good brother.

Cut to the police breaking into Luke's empty house. They find a Taco Gary's wrapper and conclude that Luke is now helping Underwear Guy.

Scene 4: An ugly guy with a physique that's um...well, I'm sure he has a nice c*ck. He awakens, brushes his teeth, and heads to the dentist office to protest the practice of putting microchips in our teeth.

Getting gas nearby, Luke and Underwear Guy see him. So he's going to join the team?

Uh-oh, Underwear Guy sees a car, rushes over, and accosts the old lady driving with a hunting knife. He shows her a taco, and refers to the "TG Truce of '21." She doesn't know what he's talking about. "Sorry, I mistook you for a member of the Coalition."

While he's gone, Luke checks his backpack and finds that his brother is not taking is meds.

Scene 5: They zoom off. Hey, what about the ugly guy with the sign? You spent so much time showing him getting dressed, I thought he would be a major character.

Luke confronts Underwear Guy for not taking his meds, destroying his cell phone, and attacking the old lady. He can't accommodate his brother's craziness anymore, and orders him out of the car. But Underwear Guy gives him an injection that knocks him out, and drags him into the woods.

Scene 6: He awakens at night, by a campfire, remembers what happened, and tries to run away, but Underwear Guy injects him again. And a third time. Just tie him up, dude.

Underwear Guy explains: he needs Luke's identity to sneak into Canada. He's already stolen Luke's passport, wallet, and car keys, so he can't say no. "You'll get them back when we cross the border, and you'll still be in Ottawa in time for your new job." How are both of them going to get into Canada with the same passport?

He gives Luke a high-tech, alien-made homing device to use instead of a government-hacked cell phone.

"This is a Rubik's Cube painted black."

Uh-oh, the cops have found their car! Underwear Guy yells "We are armed and extremely dangerous!" They approach with guns pulled. Run!

They run. Luke and the two cops all hurt their ankles on the same log (not funny, painful to watch).

They stumble across a white-haired guy camping, and by taking off his pants, Underwear Guy convinces him to give them a ride. So he liked your underwear?

"By the way, I've kidnapped my brother, and I'm forcing him to help me against his will."

"No problem," White-Haired Guy says, no doubt thinking that they both must have big d*cks.

Scene 7: They stop at a gym and ride the mechanical bull while waiting for a badger (someone who helps you illegally cross the border). She descends the stairs in slow motion while Luke gapes in Girl of My Dreams squishiness. I was wondering when he would meet The Girl.

She actually works at the gym, at the smoothie bar. While they are talking, Underwear Guy tells Luke, "I know that look. You're attracted to her, aren't you?" Hey, that will ruin his chances with The Girl.

Turns out that she's not really a badger. But she has nothing else to do today, and Underwear Guy always has "crazy, fun" ideas, so why not?

More after the break

Scene 8: Crazy Klyle (Tony Cavalero) will provide them with a vehicle and weapons. He wants to meet in the gym sauna (no beefcake).

"Wait -- you're going to Ottawa? Does that mean you stole it?"

Yep -- Underwear Guy shows Crazy Klyle and the Badger what's in his knapsack. They gasp. "It's worth 27.7 million US dollars."

To his house, to get a white van and weapons (a rifle and a bow and arrow).

Crazy Klyle turns out to be a conspiracy theorist, too. He draws Luke into a discussion of what you should ask Grover Cleveland if he popped up next to you. Correct answer: How he traveled through time. I'd probably assume he was a ghost, not a time traveler, and ask about the afterlife.

Next: Lunch (Taco Gary's, of course), with Crazy Klyle's catatonic mother watching some unattached tvs in the next room.

A rifle accidentally discharges, hitting Luke in the arm. He wants to call 911, but Crazy Klyle won't allow it: he'll suck the bullet out like snake venom, or dig an exit wound for it to pass through. Suddenly he realizes that they're under surveillance. He destroys the camera, but it's too late: the Coalition is on its way!

Their only chance is to get to a Taco Gary's. It's neutral territory, so no member of the Coalition can touch them, or they'll have their eyeballs melted and be sold on the galactic slave market.

Scene 9: At Taco Gary's, Crazy Klyle asks to accompany them to Ottawa: he learned a lot about border crossing from a conspiracy nut friend, who then "kissed me on the cheek." Tell me more.

Underwear Guy refuses: "I can't be responsible for another soul."

After he leaves, Underwear Guy notices that the thing he stole is gone! He calls down a random customer for swiping it, but Luke points out that Crazy Klyle is more likely. Turns out that Klyle stole it!

"I'm going to cut off his head, shove it up his bottom, and f*ck it!" Underwear Guy exclaims. I know it's just a colorful threat, but it strikes me as oddly gay-specific.

Luke has had enough. He storms out, and tries to find a phone to call 9-1-1. Finally he uses a story about a one-eyed Portuguese person to convince a bartender to let him use his.

Three unmarked cars arrive.But they're not cops! Henchman Tiago (Arturo Castro, left) frisks him and asks "What is that?"

"My p*enis!"

"Oh. Very nice!" Dude likes p*nises.

"You don't want me. You want my crazy brother!"

"We have eyes on him and his friend with the beautiful hair, but it's you that we want."

Scene 10: Tiago drives Luke to an empty field with an elevator disguised as a portapotty. It leads to the "summer bunker" of his boyfriend Jason Biggs, elegantly furnished, with some Greek statues and a painting of a muscleman.

After they tie Luke up and gag him, Jason explained that he faked his death so he and Henchman Tiago can avoid the coming Apocalypse. He just needs what Underwear Guy stole.

Luke can't talk while gagged, so they untie him and tie up Jason instead.

"Underwear Guy doesn't have a cell phone. I have no way of contacting him -- except he gave me this Rubic's cube painted black..."

Jason Biggs is upset: " HenchmanTiago, didn't you frisk him?"

"I did, but I got distracted by his p*enis."

"Oh, yeah, I can see it from here. Very nice." These guys are canonical boyfriends.

It's actually an alien-tech time travel device. When they twist it, it emits a blinding light, and Luke wakes up by the campfire in Scene 6.

Psych! It's just an alien-tech stun grenade. Underwear Guy used the distraction to rescue Luke. He finally reveals what he stole: documents proving that aliens have been living among us since the 1986 summer Olympics. A Coalition of billionaires, politicians, famous actors, and the Pope has been selling them our natural resources, with the proviso they can avoid the Apocalypse by moving to a new planet.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder! Or hunkier! I'm out of space.

Beefcake: Some shirtless scenes.

Heterosexism: None. After that Girl-of-my-Dreams moment, the Badger and Luke act like good buddies. And no one else expresses any heterosexual interest.

Gay Characters: Everyone expresses an interest in guys, mostly in Luke's p*nis.

Continuity Errors: The two kids who were supposed to be young versions of the brothers, aren't. The roommate isn't a roommate. We spend five minutes on the Ugly Guy that go nowhere.

My Grade: B. This is basically a stoner road trip, with witty conversations and wacky side characters. I didn't like the ending: gowing up Nazarene with the belief in an immanent Rapture, I never find Apocalypses funny. But I liked the moral: "The world is always ending. Things don't make sense. Sometimes our only option is to go with the flow."

And...I don't think it's intentional, but every guy in the whole darn movie, except Luke, is queer coded!