My Boyfriend and My Satanist Ex-Boyfriend at Thanksgiving Dinner: A Kelvin/Keefe Adventure

 "Mama!" Keefe exclaimed.  "Why on Earth did you invite my ex-boyfriend to Thanksgiving Dinner, when you knew that Kelvin was coming?"

She frowned.  "Well, why not?  Daedalus came to every Thanksgiving and Christmas for five years.  And your nephew Austin's piano recitals. Jimmy called him 'Uncle Daedus.'" He's part of the family.  Just because you broke up for some crazy reason doesn't mean we have to break up with him, too."

"I found God, Mama! Isn't that what you wanted for me?"

"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.  And you were happy with Daedalus.  A lot happier than you seem now, when every word I say makes you uncomfortable or angry, and the wonderful Reverend Gemstone treats you like his personal servant.  Now, does this casserole get onion rings on top, or not?"

The rest of the story, with n*de photos and explicit s*x scenes, is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

The "Righteous Gemstones" Episode 2.6 s*x scene, a frame-by-frame analysis

 

In case you're new here, The Righteous Gemstones is a HBO Max sitcom about the famous, ultra-rich televangelist Eli Gemstone and his three children, who live in separate mansions on his compound and get into constant squabbles and scrapes.  But of course they love each other deep-down.  Kelvin (Adam Devine) is the youngest son, 29-34 years old during the four seasons, a muscle enthusiast who usually works in the low-prestige teen ministry, and has to constantly prove himself.  Keefe (Tony Cavalero), a former Satanist whom he saved, is his boyfriend.  

Kelvin has a standard fiction coming-out process, one that we've seen a hundred times in movies and tv-shows.

Season 1: Falling in love with his best friend, sexual experiences, feeling guilty, denial, then recognizing that he is gay.

Season 2: Becoming obsessed with the *rotic, refusisng to admit that he and Keefe are romantic partners, eventually coming around and coming out to the family.

Season 3: Trying hard to stay in the closet, refusing to call Keefe his boyfriend, leading to their breakup and reconciliation, and a kiss.  

The problem is, up to the Season 3 kiss and even after, many viewers insisted that the two were straight buddies.  The queer codes were all misdirections or misreadings.

Which brings us to Season 2, Episode 6: Kelvin is standing n*aked in front of the mirror; distraught:  he has lost the respect of the God Squad, his cadre of muscle men; his father hates him; he is worthless, nothing, no better than a beast.  Keefe suggests that he will feel better if he gets dressed for the day.  His hands are broken, so Keefe will have to dress him.

What happens next is about as explicit as a s*x scene can get on television, yet some viewers insisted that Keefe is just helping Kelvin on with his underwear.  Even after Season 4, when they two are out as boyfriends and eventually get married, viewers insist that they didn't do any bedroom stuff until the after the wedding.  

Maybe a frame-by-frame analysis will convince them.

The frame-by-frame analysis is on  RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Or see my review of the whole episode: Gemstones Episode 2.6: Yep, they have s*x. Plus Judy grows a heart, Torsten a brain, and Amber the noive.

Groom #1 or Groom #2: A Kelvin/Keefe/___ Story

 Keefe tried to gulp down the butterflies in his stomach.  It was now or never.  They were watching a true crime documentary on Netflix, just wearing pajama bottoms, cans of grape soda on the coffee table.  Kelvin's tongue was blue.  The least romantic moment imaginable, unless you counted the time he got food poisoning and was throwing up all night.  They weren't even cuddling.  But the lack of romance was the only thing that kept him from losing his nerve.

When the show ended, his boyfriend Kelvin, a youth minister at the famous megachurch run by his family, the world-famous Gemstones, turned off the tv.  He noticed at him.    "Oh, sorry, did you want to watch something else?"  

"No. Just leave it off.  I need to talk to you for a minute."

Kelvin turned to face him.  "What's up ?"

I decided to move this story.  There's not a lot of sexual content, but more than I like on"Boomer's Beefcake and Bonding."

The rest of the story, with explicit photos, is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

"The Righteous Gemstones": Kelvin and Keefe Have Sex, So Why Can't They Kiss?

 

I admit, I'm obsessed with the relationship between Kelvin and Keefe on The Righteous Gemstones, about a family of rich, famous, glitzy televangelists (Season 2 ended in February 2022, but I just signed up for HBO Max, so I just watched.  Season 3 will drop this summer.)

Kelvin (Adam DeVine) is the youngest son, a muscle enthusiast, generally responsible for the youth ministry at the anchor church.  Keefe (Tony Cavalero) is his sweet , slightly-muddled mansion-mate, a former Satanist whom Kelvin saved.  I read reddits and reviews and interviews, watch youtube clips, re-watch episodes, accumulating evidence that they are gay and romantic partners:

Season 1:

1. Neither express any heterosexual interest, nor does anyone ever suggest that they should.  If an event calls for a date, Kelvin always brings Keefe.  

Keefe states that he "never dated (girls) much, saw no need to," and that "Baywatch didn't affect me."  At the Satanist Club, he recoils in literal disgust at the sight of a naked lady (you can see him saying "Ewwww"), but naked men are fine.

2. Keefe used to dance naked in a cage at the Satanist Club.

3. They break up after an argument, and Keefe returns to the Satanist Club.  He is heartily greeted and hugged, but only by men.

4. Kelvin is distraught.  One of the teens surmises that he is upset about his "boyfriend," and helpfully uses social media to find out where Keefe is.  Kelvin stutters: "No...um...we're not gay...we're just two guys who like to hang out...and stuff."  Maybe he didn't want to come out to a teenager? 

5. But he rushes to save Keefe from the Satanists, and finds him in a sensory deprivation tank (with a probably prosthetic arousal).  He jumps in, pulls out the wires, and hugs and holds Keefe, crying, kissing his forehead.  Keefe: "Hold me."  Kelvin: "Hush!  I'm here now."  

The full post is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends