Gemstones Episode 1.9 : Kelvin goes dark, Keefe goes down, and Captain America saves the day. With a Haitian dude bonus

Go directly to the n*de  guys

Episode 1.8 ended with all of the Gemstone siblings and their partners broken up, plus Gideon cast out from the family.  It's going to take a lot of work to make things right again.  

Chicken bone voodoo:  After a flashback to Aimee-Leigh's death (and a bee that will re-appear later in the episode),we cut to Eli finding about about the blackmail, Jesse's assault of Rev. Seasons, and Judy's embezzlement. Kelvin stood by and let them do things that he knew was wrong, so he's just as guilty. Eli angrily fires them all. 

Jesus never dated much: Sibling movie night at Kelvin's house ((notice the K and the arcade game behind their couch).  They're watching The Neverending Story at the scene where Artax  horse/companion of the hero Atreyu (Noah Hathaway, top photo), is literally consumed by his sadness, sinking into the Swamp of Sadness to his death.  Atreyu yells: "Fight against the sadness. You have to try. You have to care. You're my friend.  I love you."  Suddenly Kelvin bursts into tears (Top photo: star Noah Hathaway, no doubt one of the teen idols of Kelvin's youth).  

In the movie, the Childlike Empress is sick, thus allowing the Darkness (hopelessmess, despair) to slowly devour the Kingdom of Fantasia.  Young hero Atreyu is looking for a cure to save Fantasia, but he is unable to save his horse/friend Artax.  Maybe Kelvin is thinking of how he couldn't save Keefe from the Nothing.

But for now, Kelvin is lost in his own Sadness: "My emotions are all over the place. I feel like I'm coming unhinged." The siblings ignore him, so he repeats: I'm in emotional turmoil, dealing with some very painful questions about myself."  

"For real?"  Jesse immediately becomes serious.  Remember, he thinks that Kelvin is gay, but in denial.  Is he ready to come out?

Nope.  "I've always felt like, maybe, I'm Him."  He's always felt like he is Jesus? Say what?  Dude, that's full-blown psychosis.

Actually, many cult leaders claim to be Jesus.  Wikipedia lists 40 in the 20th and 21st centuries alone, including Jim Jones, Marshall Applewhite, Charles Manson, Shoko Asahara, David Koresh.  It doesn't usually end well.

Kevin's reasons: we both care about people; people like us, and want to follow us. Plus: "He didn't date much, didn't have the urge or the need to.  That's me for days."

Fans sometimes use this line to argue that Kelvin is asexual or aromantic, not experiencing desire for anyone, but in a heteronormative society, surely he means "urge or need to date women."  

Jesse, aware of another reason for Kelvin's lack of interest in women, assure him that he's not Jesus, but "that doesn't mean you're not a decent man."  Notice that he uses the term "man," signifying that Kelvin is grown-up, an adult, regardless of his sexual identity.

But Kelvin doesn't buy it.  Another voice is telling him, "If you can't be him, maybe you can be me...Satan."  We know from the Satanic Sweep and the Club Sinister rescue that, in Kelvin's eyes, Satan is all about s*x, or s*x is all about Satan.  The only way he can explain his homoerotic desire, and maybe his homoerotic intimacy, is by fashioning himself "the Dark Lord of the family."  After all of this, how did fans continue to argue that Kelvin was straight?

He's very tired -- he hasn't been sleeping well lately. Because he usually shares his bed with Keefe?  And he misses Mama, who used to tell him that everything's gonna be ok.  She's gone, so Jesse and Judy step up: "Everything's gonna be ok.  You'll get it figured out."  It's not hard to figure out, Dude.  Lots of people are gay.

Some bonus Haitian guys before we continue.  N*de dudes on  RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

 

He's not my boyfriend:  Earlier in the episode, Kelvin reveals that "he's coming apart," certain that his lack of interest in women and recent forays into "darkness" signify that he is the Devil.  The siblings tried to comfort him, but apparently it didn't help: he shows up at the teen group wearing a Goth teddy boy outfit, mascara, pale lipstick, dark glasses, and shiny vinyl pants, and announces "I have transformed myself into something Dark."  He's not Jesus, but a vile creature of sin.  He must leave them.  

But his replacement, Ronald Meyers (Josh Warren), is "pure": chubby, greasy-haired, an assistant manager at the GameStop.  One can't help but conclude that "pure" means "never had s*x," a contrast with Kelvin, who obvioulsy has. 

Kelvin makes a dramatic exit.  Dot Nancy, whom he rescued from Club Sinister, scoffs, as if to say "What an idiot!", and follows. "Is this about your boyfriend?"  Notice that she is not being pejorative; she honestly believes that they are a gay couple.  

Kelvin corrects her:  "Ok, no, he's not my boyfriend. We're just a couple dudes who like to hang out. Why?"  He's being awfully nonchalant -- compare Season 3, where "rumors swirling around" drive him into a panic.  He's already the Dark Lord, a being infused by homoerotic desire, so why get upset over a simple mistake?

Fans who insist that "Kelvin is straight!" often point to this statement, but maybe they're not "boyfriends," partners in a caring, emotionally-fulfilling relationship.  Kelvin believes that Satan is all about s*x, not love, so whatever he feels for Keefe -- whatever he does with Keefe -- must be driven solely by lust.   

That will all change in a moment, when Dot shows him Keefe's instagram page. He has returned to his old job as a performance artist at Club Sinister: "The baby is back!"  and "Haven't I fallen far enough?"  

More after the break

Noah Hathaway

After starring as the barbarian Atreyu in The Neverending Story (1984), Noah Hathaway got the full teen idol treatment. His cut-off t-shirt and skin-tight white shorts became a common sight in the teen magazines, and every time he went to the gym, a photographer was there to show the world his biceps and abs.

He couldn't compete with super-hunks like Robby Benson and Scott Baio, but he was cute enough to inspire many romantic fantasies among kids of the era.

His roles were rather scarce, but memorable.  In Troll (1986), he plays Harry Potter (not that Harry Potter), a teenager who displays a muscular chest and has no interest in girls.  Instead, he must save his sister.  No wonder gay boys found a kindred spirit in him, and speculated that he might be gay in real life.


Unfortunately, his response to the speculation was not always gracious; he tended to become livid with rage and shout his denials.

In 1986 Noah retired from acting.  He studied dance and martial arts, competed in the sport of motorcycle racing, and became a tattoo artist. Recently he has starred in some independent films, like River Beauty(2023), with fellow ex-child star Butch Patrick.   I haven't found any evidence that his attitude toward gay people has mellowed, but maybe it has.

Barret Oliver's Neverending Story

Born in 1973, Barret Oliver became one of the most beloved child stars of the 1980s.

After some guest roles in Knight Rider, The Incredible Hulk, and the gay-themed Love, Sidney, he landed the role of Bastian, a bookworm whose alter-ego Atreyu (Noah Hathaway, left) saves a heroic fantasy world in The Neverending Story (1984).

Next came D.A.R.Y.L. (1985), a gay-symbolism movie about a young boy who turns out to be a cyborg (Barret), and the human boy named Turtle (Danny Corkill) who befriends him.

He also starred in Invitation to Hell (1984), as the kid in a suburban family bedeviled by demons, and Cocoon (1985), as the kid among a group of elderly people rejuvenated by aliens.

When he hit adolescence and started hunking up, he became embroiled in a tug-of-war battle with casting agents, who wanted to keep him cute, innocent, and wide-eyed: the boy-and-dog movie Spot Marks the X (1986), a Twilight Zone episode entitled "Gramma," the boy-and-girl story The Secret Garden (1987).

Cocoon: the Return (1988) was the last straw.  After a small but homoerotic role in Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills (with Ray Sharkey) Barret retired from acting.  He is now a well-known photographer.