Beefcake and Bulges in Surfing Art

I expected paintings about surfing to highlight buffed male bodies and bulging swimsuits, but they tend to emphasize gigantic waves and crashing surf, making the bodies as small and insignificant as in traditional Chinese paintings.  Or they emphasize the surfing babes.  I only found a few that showed some beefcake.

Nathan Miller shows a buffed Polynesian in blue shorts against a stylized surf.

Bill Ogden shows a muscular, long-haired blond guy fighting a giant wave.

Michael Cass gives us a frontal view of the red swim trunks, with an almost photographic precision.

Vividly colored but stylized, Douglas Simonson's surfer polishes his board in rainbow colors.

Georgi Dmitrov offers a realistic surfer, but he's surfing on a shark.

More after the break.

Hot/H*ng Photos of Nolan Gould, Part 1: Wrestling, surfing, turning 18

If you haven't watched the doddering Modern Family for awhile, prepare yourself for a shock.  Remember this kid?

He's grown a bit.

Back in September 2009, when Modern Family premiered, I was living in Upstate New York and just starting to date Troy. And Nolan Gould, who played Luke, youngest grandson in the extended Pritchett family, was just shy of  11 years old (born on October 28, 1998).

I watched regularly for a few years, although I disliked the gay couple, Luke's uncles Mitchell and Cam (aka Swishy and Swishier).

There wasn't even any beefcake to distract from the misogyny, casual racism, and minstrel-show antics of Swishy and Swishier.

I noticed that Luke was becoming stupider and stupider -- every sitcom needs a dumb bunny -- in spite of the brilliance of Nolan himself, who is a member of MENSA and graduated from high school at age 13.  

But I never suspected that he was going to turn into the hunk of the show.

In "The Feud," which aired on February 26, 2014, and was probably filmed a few months before, Luke goes out for wrestling.  Nolan is 15 years old but looks only barely pubescent, with long, stringy muscles.

In "Australia," which aired on April 23rd, 2014, Luke goes surfing.  He seems to have more of a chest, but not much more.

I don't know what episode this is, but it was uploaded to the Teen Idols gallery on June 15, 2015.  A little tighter in the chest and shoulders, but Nolan still looks more like a boy than a man.

Here Nolan is on vacation in the Bahamas in April 2016, just after wrapping up the seventh season of Modern Family.  He's 17 years old, getting some nice abs.

But look what happened in "The Alliance," which aired on November 30th, 2016: An aging cougar puts the moves on the oblivious, barely-legal Luke.  Grandpa Jay rushes to the rescue.  Luke answers the door shirtless.

Nolan was just over 18.

Impressive biceps and quads, some chest definition, the beginning of a six-pack in the abs.

I can't wait to see how much he bulks up at ages 19, 20, 21...

Gilad's Body in Motion

During the 1980s, this was one of the most famous physiques -- and bulges -- in the world.

It belongs to Gilad Janklowicz (try telling your Dad that you want a poster of Gilad Janklowicz for your birthday).

Gilad was born on a Kibbutz in Israel in 1954.  His parents, who escaped from Nazi Germany via China, were both sports enthusiasts.  He ran track and field in high school, and became a decathlete and fitness instructor in the Israeli army.  After an Achilles heel injury ruined his Olympic aspirations, he moved to Los Angeles, enrolled in the UCLA Film School, and became a personal trainer.

Here he holds hands with a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.








In 1981 he moved to Hawaii where in 1983 he launched Bodies in Motion, a half-hour aerobics program in which he demonstrated routines to a pounding back beat while male and female models worked out behind him.

His sister Ada was co-host for a year before breaking out with her own show, Basic Training.

Over the years, Bodies in Motion ran on ESPN, Fox Sports, the Health Channel, and Fit TV.  It is still running several times a day on TBS, and in 80 countries around the world.







Gilad also hosts Total Body Sculpt  (2005-), publishes fitness articles, and sells a wide range of merchandise.

He's never married or been connected any of the models he works with, so he's probably gay.

But I'm more impressed by his exceptional physique and commitment to fitness past age 60.  One of his clients lived to the age of 103, and still walked the 23 flights up to his apartment every day.

Beefcake and Bulges in Recent Swim Team Photos

Ready for another assorted set of pecs, abs, biceps and bulges from the swim teams of yesteryear?  This time we'll go from the 1960s to the present.

Kelly High School, Chicago, 1967.  Some of these kids look a little young for high school, but there's a nice basket in the eyeglassed guy second row right.

University of Southern California men's swim team, 1976.  I was in high school at the time, but I don't remember all the porn stachs.

Cleveland State University, 1984.  Less than ten years later, all the porn staches have vanished, but the skimpy, bulge-displaying swimsuits have been retained.

Burnesville High School, 1985.  Some gym-toned physiques, but all of the bulges are hidden.

More after the break.