Jan 29, 2021

Time Travel Movies: Winning the Girl of Your Dreams with Science


I love time travel stories.   Remember "Vintage Season": time traveling tourists visit some of history's greatest disasters.  So why are they visiting this bucolic small town?

Or "The Men Who Murdered Mohammed"?  A man tries to change the past, but can't, even after he kills more and more famous people.

Or "A Sound of Thunder": stepping on a butterfly in the Jurassic Era causes tragic changes to modern society. 

But contemporary time travel movies, not so much.  Most seem to be not only heterosexist, but really lacking in creative thought: you go back in time solely to win the Girl of Your Dreams.


Making Time: 
Nick (Mason Heidger, left) travels back in time and must re-propose to his ex-wife.  Lots of movies start with the couple divorced so they can get back together.

Time Freak: A college student (Asa Butterfield) builds a time machine to stop The Girl of His Dreams from breaking up with him. Or he could just date someone else?








When We First Met:
After the Girl of His Dreams decides that she wants to be just friends, the boyfriend (Adam Devine, top photo) travels back in time to convince her to date him. Or he could just go up to another girl and flex his muscles).

Project Almanac: David(Jonny Weston) and his friends use his father's time machine to go back in time and win The Girl of His Dreams, but things go horribly wrong. A tragedy, for a change.











Fireworks:
An anime about a boy named Norimichi, whose best friend runs away with the Girl of His Dreams.  Fortunately, he has a magic ball that will allow him to go back in time and change her  mind.  Nice to have those magic balls popping up all over the place.

About Time: Tim (Dombhall Gleason) discovers that he can travel in time.  He can't change history, but he can get a girlfriend.







The Time Traveler's Wife:
Henry (Eric Bana)  drifts back and forth through his life, encountering the Girl of His Dreams at various points in their relationship.  

Palm Springs: Nyles (Andy Samberg) is stuck in a time loop, which allows him to woo the Girl of His Dreams (also the plot of Groundhog Day, of course).











Hot Tub Time Machine: Three guys travel to the past in a hot tub (well, what did you expect?) to help their younger selves.  Two win Girls of their Dreams.  I'm sure the male nudity on the cover is just a tease; inside it will doutbless be all boobs all the time.

See You Yesterday: A girl (Eden Duncan-Smith) travels back in time to save her brother, who has been killed by a police officer.  

Hey, an exception!  Now if only the brother were gay....



3 comments:

  1. Don't like literally any of these movies... or men, lol 😜

    ReplyDelete
  2. Suddenly Flashpoint looks good by comparison. He's trying to save his mother. The problem is, the changes don't make sense. (So, Bruce Wayne is dead; Thomas Wayne is Batman, sans Robin. Atlantis, Thanagar, and Themyscira are the new Axis Powers. No JLA, no Superman, only Cyborg. Ulrimately he fixes everything, but he learns the main DCU, Vertigo, and Wildstorm were once the same world, so he merges them to stabilize it. Oh, and Wally West no longer exists. Same with Superboy. And a shit ton of changes for you to smile and nod at, e.g. Batman's twenty-five, and he has all four of his boys.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. We do need a time travel story with a gay twist or at least a gay hero- goofy sexy Adam Devine will do anything for a laugh even go full frontal

    ReplyDelete

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