Dec 24, 2023

"Falling for Christmas": Lindsay Lohan's Boyfriend Gets a Boyfriend in a Ski-Resort Romcom

Most Christmas romcoms depict a woman living a gloriously glitzy life in a big city, getting stuck in a small town for the Holidays, and falling in love with it -- and with a working class guy who lives there.  Coincidentally, 'tis the season where millions of people who have escaped to the City return to their horrible small towns to sleep in their old beds, spend hours talking to people who love everything they hate, and count the minutes until they can get back on that airplane.  Are these movies supposed to convince them to stay?  

Falling for Christmas substitutes poor- and -rich ski resorts for the small town and big city (there are poor ski resorts?).  It reputedly has a gay character, so I'll check it out.     

Scene 1. Lindsay Lohan, who I feel like I should know from something, awakens in her glitzy hotel room in a mountain resort.  Lots of other glitterati are arriving, including two hot guys getting out of a Lamborghini -- are they the gay characters?   Girls in swimsuits show us their butts in a heated balcony-pool.  And there are skiiers.  

Scene 2: Lindsay's boyfriend Tad (George Young, top photo), on the way to the resort, tells her to just say no to her dad. Back story: Dad, hotel magnate Beauregard Belmont (1980s soap hunk Jack Wagner), wants her to take a job as Vice President of Atmosphere (involving, I assume, decor, not oxygen). Guest Services Manager Terry and his "Glam Squad" arrive to do her makeup and hand-feed her caviar and wine.  

Meanwhile, "poor boy" Jake Russell (Chord Overstreet) asks Dad to invest in his struggling lodge next door.  Beginning skiiers choose discount lodges, and then move up to the big time as they improve, so investing in it will actually create some customers for Dad's mega-lodge.  He says no anyhow.

Scene 3:  Exterior shot past the girl-butts in the balcony-pool to Lindsay and the Glam Squad walking through the lobby in slow motion.  Poor Boy Jake, busy on the phone telling someone that Dad didn't buy it, spills his hot chocolate on her for a classic meet-cute.   Boyfriend, who has just arrived, complains that her couture is ruined. 

Scene 4: Having changed, Lindsay has breakfast with Dad and Boyfriend, whom Dad disapproves of.  Well, he works as a social media influencer.  Wouldn't you be leery of him dating your heiress daughter?

Meanwhile, Jake returns to the North Star Lodge next door, which looks quite elegant.  Back story: He's a widow with a young daughter, and a mother-in-law hanging around to help out, sort of like a 1960s sitcom.  And the resort will close after this season,  unless they get "a Christmas miracle."  He gloomily throws his business plan in the trash and recalls how much he loved his dead wife.

Scene 5: Lindsay tries to tell Dad that she doesn't want the hotel job, but she's distracted by a snow-globe belonging to her mother, Dad's dead wife, who died when she was five years old.  They discuss how much they loved her.  Dude, it's been at least 20 years, and you haven't dated anyone else?

More after the break

Scene 6:  Guest Services Terry has reserved a gondola for a photo shoot, but Boyfriend won't hear of it: "Gondolas are for losers.  We'll take a snowmobile up the mountain."  He zooms up with his snowmobile in tow, running over a bellboy's foot.  "He'," Terry complains.

On the way up the mountain, Lindsay starts singing "Jingle Bell Rock," and Boyfriend criticizes her pitch.  What, exactly, does she see in this guy?  Is he hung to his knees, or what?

Meanwhile, Jake is taking a hot guy (Oscar Rudecindo) and his girlfriend on an actual sleigh ride, and Mother-in-Law and Granddaughter discuss how much they love each other (help -- saccharine overload!), and tag a wish onto the Wishing Tree. Santa Claus, watching, magically makes it float up into the sky.  Mother-in-law is Hispanic, and Hot Guy is black; at the Mega-Lodge, all of the guests shown to date have been white.  Is that significant?  

Scene 7:  High up in the mountains, Boyfriend zooms around on the snowmobile, while Lindsay gets slapped in the face with tree branches.  He accidentally zooms up a trail marked "Danger!  Do not enter!"   They arrive at the summit and take some photos, and Boyfriend asks Lindsay to marry him (with a diamond the size of a snow globe).  

Uh-oh, the wind whips up, and Lindsay falls off the summit!  So does Boyfriend.  They tumble down different sides of the mountain.  

Scene 8: Lindsay tumbles into Jake's resort.  She has lost her memory, and he doesn't recognize her from the meet-cute.  After the doctors check her out, he invites her to his resort to recuperate.  Couldn't he contact the Mega-Resort, to see if any guests are missing?  

You know happens next, right? Lindsay bonds with Jake's daughter, learns to appreciate "simple pleasures," uses her managerial skill to turn the resort around, and falls in love with Jake, but can't admit it because we still need a denouement.

Boyfriend, meanwhile, has a much shorter story.  He is rescued by a grinning, white-haired Santa Claus-type hermit, who can't drive him to civilization for a few days due to the storm. They don't fall in love, but they do some flirting: "I let you sleep in -- you looked so cozy."  "You're so strong!"  After Boyfriend is rescued, they promise to stay in touch.

Scene 13:  Boyfriend returns to Lindsay, who gets her memory back.  They return to the Mega-Resort.    

On Christmas morning, a terrified Guest Services Terry summons Boyfriend, because Lindsay is in the hotel kitchen, making her own breakfast!  And she's going to her after-rescue press conference in a regular dress, not in something designed by someone famous.  

Afterwards, Lindsay breaks up with Boyfriend because "she's not ready."  He's not heartbroken; in fact, he seems overjoyed.  What exactly happened in that mountain cabin?  She walks away; Boyfriend turns to Guest Services Terry, who is hovering around for some reason, and asks "What are you doing for New Year's?"  

That was fast.  They've said like three words to each other, and they only touched once, when Terry helped him on with his coat.  How does he know that Terry is gay (ok, he's swishy) and single, and ok with being a rebound hookup?

Scene 14:  Jake decides that he wants to wrest Lindsay away from her Boyfriend, so he sleigh-rides to the Mega-Resort.  He rushes up to an airport shuttle and says through the tinted window: "I know that we barely know each other, but I'm falling in love with you." 

 Suprise, it's Boyfriend!  "That's very flattering, but I have other plans."  He grins at Guest Services Terry (Chase Ramsey).  This perplexes Jake; apparently he is not aware that gay/bi people exist.  But Santa Claus points him in the direction of Lindsay.

So, is Boyfriend just realizing that he is gay or bi, or has he always been out as bi?   The ease with which he gets dumped -- and picks up the nearest gay guy -- suggests that he was not aware before. 

Of course, heterosexual viewers are denying that he is either, using the strategy that everyone must be presumed straight unless they are carrying a sign reading "I am gay. "

By the way, Chase Ramsey, shown here with his wife and kids,  is an "actor, writer, director, teacher, husband, and father," a graduate of Utah Valley University with several theatrical and film credits. They hired a straight boy to swish it up as Terry.

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