**Link to the n*de dudes**

Weird Science (1985) is a John Hughes brat pack comedy with a paranormal twist. Nerds Gary and Wyatt's (Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan-Mitchell Smith) are discouraged because the Girls of Their Dreams are dating a pair of belligerent, obnoxious preppies (Robert Downey Jr., Robert Rusler), and won't give them a chance. So they use a computer to create their perfect dream girl, Lisa: she is not only attractive but super-smart, plus she has magical powers.

I forget most of the plot after 40 years, but wikipedia has helpfully filled in the details, Instead of dating them, Lisa conjures them a car, gets them fake ids, and hosts a wild party, where she thwarts their adversaries and their bullying older brother, military-school graduate Chet (Bill Paxton).

She also summons a pack of rabid bikers to kidnap the Girls, so Gary and Wyatt can mount a daring rescue and win them.

It was cheesy stuff, and entirely heteronormative. There was a scattering of the incessant homophobia that one sees in every John Hughes movie, but spewed by the evil Chet, not by one of the good guys. That was a big win in the era.

Plus some strong gay subtexts between Gary and Wyatt and the prettyboy preppies Ian and Max. And quite a surprising amount of beefcake

I wanted to do a "any gay roles/are they gay in real life" profile of one of the guys, but I can't find anything suitable.

Don't pay attention to the femme-half shirt and girly beneath-the-belt stuff. Ilan-Mitchell Smith, now a history professor, is straight in real life.

Anthony Michael Hall, the darling of the Brat Pack, appeared in Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Johnny B Goode, and as an adult The Dead Zone and Awkward. Straight characters, with maybe one exception, and straight in real life.

Brat Packer Robert Downey Jr. appeared in Back to School, The Pick-Up Artist, Johnny B. Goode, became famous for Chaplin (playing the silent-era comedian), and went on to play Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes. More straight characters, with maybe one exception, and....well, you get the idea.

At least we know that Robert Rusler is a gay ally: he befriended his Nightmare on Elm Street 2 co-star Mark Patton, and took him to some of the gay bars in West Hollywood (no, we never met). But his tv work, in The Outsiders, Babylon 5, Snoops, Murder She Wrote, Bones, Ray Donovan...as far as I can tell, all heteronormative. And...straight in real life.

Let's try the Weird Science TV Series.

It aired on the USA Network from 1994 to 1998. I watched on occasion, usually while on the treadmill at the gym. Gary and Wyatt are now played by Michael Manasseri and John Mallory Asher. Lisa characterizes herself as a "magic genie," and Wyatt's parents are absent, leaving his older brother Chet (Lee Tergesen) to look after/bully them.

The "winning the Girl of Our Dreams" plotline appeared in just the first two or three episodes; later Lisa turns the boys into girls, clones them, turns them into rock stars, traps them in a horror movie, traps them in The Twilight Zone, transports them to the Old West, and brings a video game villain to life.

More after the break

I don't know what episode this is from.

Chet gets his own plotlines: Lisa turns him into a baby a superhero, and a pirate; he buddy-bonds with his ancestor (almost causing the family line to disintegrate) and is abducted by aliens.

And the parents: Gary's father changes bodies with male model Magnifico (Christopher Mayer).

Even Lisa: she meets another genie, has to hide her secret identity from a new friend, and falls in love with the President of the U.S. (no Monica Lewinsky reference).

No gay plotlines, but the boys' gay subtext is ramped up with several breakup-reconciliation plotlines. Plus Chet rarely expresses any heterosexual interest.

Maybe I could do a profile of one of the tv series guys.

Michael Manasseri got a lot of teen idol attention and has 33 acting credits, but he is best known as a producer. I don't see any immediately-obvious gay themes as actor or producer. He is straight in real life.

John Mallory Asher is "an award winning writer/ director whose passion for storytelling through the lens was ignited in his early years." He has 29 directing credits, mostly in music videos, and five writing credits, including Someone Marry Me and Tooken . Straight. In fact, it is difficult to find a photo where he's not hugging or kissing a lady.

Lee Tergesen is famous for playing Tobias Beecher, who killed a child while driving drunk and was sentenced to 15 years in Oz (later he commits more crimes, so he's there forever). He has a relationship with inmate Keller (Christopher Meloni), but it is portrayed as deviant and destructive, not "real," juxtaposed with the warm, happy, nurturing relationship that men can only find with women.

But at least he shows his privates.

Lee has 137 acting credits on the IMDB. He's been Desperate Housewifes, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Drop Dead Diva, American Horror Story, Elementary, Castle, New Amsterdam, Tracker...well, everything. But no gay characters that I could find, and in real life...nope.

This is unheard of. Three gay-subtext couples, two characters with little or no heterosexual interest, and not one of them has significant gay representation. I guess gay-subtext is in the eye of the beholder.