Austin Lindsay: The casually n*de roommate on "Overcompensating" has a BFA and a lot of depressing shorts. With bonus n*de fratboys

  

Link to the n*de dudes

In Overcompensating Episode 1.1, the gay-but-in-denial Benny is trying to heterosexualize with his buddy Carmen, when his lacrosse-player roommate Trey bursts into the dorm room, knocking them over.  He glances at their n*de bodies and casually walks around them to grab his stuff so he can spend the night elsewhere. 

He returns in Episode 1.2 to be nonchalant about Carmen's pink-eye, and inEpisode 1.3, to casually walk around the dorm room in his birthday suit, disconcerting Benny (who still annoyingly thinks that he's straight). 

Wait -- Trey shows his d*ck

Twice?

He also shows his backside, but  Overcompensating is a backside fest.  We also see the rear ends of Benny, his sister's boyfriend, and the entire fraternity (below).  I'm more interested in the d*ck guy, Austin Lindsay.

Research is a bit difficult. Austin Lindsay is also the name of a University of Missouri wrestler, an actor in Boise, Idaho, a photographer in Salt Lake City, and a baseball player at TCNJ (I clicked on several home pages, and still couldn't find any indication of what it is.  A college in New Jersey?).

But I found our Austin's Facebook, Linkedin, and Backstage resume.  He was born 2001 in North Bay, Ontario, on the north shore of Lake Nipissing, about four hours north of Toronto.  

He studied dance and performed with the Performers Dance Company in North Bay.

In high school he appeared in Catch Me if You Can (2015), West Side Story (2016), and Mama Mia (2019), and wrote/directed the short Querencia (2019).  In spite of the title, it has no queer content: an elderly musician reunites with his dead wife.

 More after the break

Gemstones Episode 3.3: A fire dance, a limp wrist, a ph*llic sword, and Balkan muscle gods. Plus Kelvin tries to say the word.

 

Link to the n*de photos

In Episode 3, we meet Uncle Baby Billy, the Montgomery Boys join the family, and the marital problems are resolved.

Title: "For Their N*kedness is Your Own N*kedness." From Leviticus 18:10, ESV: "You shall not uncover the n*kedness of your son's daughter or of your daughter's daughter, for their n*kedness is your own n*kedness." This is a prohibition of doing stuff with your grandchild. Where, in this episode, does anyone mention doing that?  A review in the AV Club intreprets it as: the vulnerability of one member of the family is everyone's responsibility. "We're all in this together."

The Greek Chorus: The white-haired, grinning Baby Billy, dressed like a clam, sings"There will Come a Payday," while walking through the Gemstone resort, Zion's Landing.  He sings incessantly in a swimming pool area with absolutely no beefcake, while viewers grate their teeth and snarl "Get the f*k on with it."  Yes, we know he's a Greek Chorus, singing about the "payday" coming to the Gemstones.  We don't need ten minutes of it, in a show that is already squeezing in too many plotlines.

Finally, long after we put on the mute,  Baby Billy returns to his penthouse, where his very pregnant wife Tiffany and their three-year old son Lionel are watching the old game show Family Feud.  The Baby Billy/Tiffany plotline this season will be about trying to get the Gemstones to invest in a Christian-based Family Feud show, Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers.

Timeline problem: Tiffany had her first baby in the last episode of Season 2.  Now he's at least three years old.  But three years have not passed in the Gemstone universe.  

.

"We don't like you":  The Montgomery Boys (Robert Oberst, top photo, Lukas Haas) in bathrobes in Eli's house, eating breakfast, discussing Peter's militia with Eli, May-May, and the siblings:

 Peter thinks that his sons and Gemstones tipped off the feds, so now he's gunning for all of them.  May-May wants the boys to come home with her, but they refuse: "We'd rather be homeless bums living under a bridge."  Or living in a mansion with a staff of 17?  

Afterwards, the siblings go down to the Aimee-Leigh memorial, discuss how much they hate their cousins, and give them the finger as they peer through an upstairs window.  Eli insists that they have a Cousin's Night and try to get along.  

The Redeemer: Amber brings a copy of her marital-problem System to BJ, who claims to be unaware of any problems between him and Judy.  Does everyone in the church know that Judy has been withholding sex? Or did Jesse tell Amber about the affair?

Meanwhile, Jesse and his youngest son Abraham head for the Gemstone garage to unwrap The Redeemer, the monster truck he used at the 2000 County Fair.  The Montgomery Boys, who happened to be passing by, are in awe, and ask if they can drive it. Nope. "We ain't cool cousins, and we never will be again."  

A Complete Lack of Knowing How to Fit into the World: Kelvin and the teens are making anti-smut posters in the parking garage outside the Salvation Center Stage, for some reason, when Keefe drives up in the Smut Busters van.  Kelvin flitters over, laying on the femme stereotypes, and says "Hey, Bud."  Keefe calls him "Bro."  This must be facade language: they are pretending to be buddies and co-pastors in front of the kids.

Keefe drove to an adult store and bought out their inventory.  Again, almost everything we see is marketed to gay men. 

"You've been having all the fun lately!" Kelvin exclaims, wishing that he could have been there to help pick out butt buzzers.  He does his usual titty-tweak display of affection, then reveals that his Daddy is forcing him to go to Cousins' Night with the Montgomerys.  They have "a complete lack of knowing how to fit into the world around them."  

Sounds exactly like Keefe!  He tries to guilt his way into an invitation.  

Wouldn't he be invited automatically?  He was admitted to the family as Kelvin's partner back in Season 2.  But maybe, to stay closeted, Kelvin only brings him to events where a lot of people are invited, like the dinners at Jason's Steakhouse and the Zion's Landing ground-breaking.  This is a family-only event, and not even the entire family.  It's limited to Montgomery cousins by blood or marriage.  If Kelvin brings Keefe, no one will be able to pretend that they are just coworkers or platonic pals. 

Keefe's bribes are: his special sausage dip and his "flames and swords."  The dip is served with crackers on a ph*llic dish.  

Let's look more closely at the "flames and swords."   Kelvin knows exactly what Keefe is talking about: he doesn't have to say "Remember that fire dance I performed that one time?"  He must perform it regularly, but you wouldn't do it for just one person, and the family has never seen it.  We can conclude that the guys are involved in the local gay community, attending gay events with sausage dip and Keefe's "flames and swords" 

The Best Dude Friend of a Cousin Kerfluffle:  Kelvin is happy to invite him, but that's not enough. Keefe pushes him to name their relationship: "I ain't a cousin, though."  An odd way to put it; he means "not the Montgomerys' cousin."

"I know you're not a cousin," Kelvin responds.  "You're my b...best...dude...friend of a cousin."  He was starting to say "boyfriend," but couldn't say it, then tried "best friend," but couldn't say that either, since it is obviously not true. Why can't he say "boyfriend"?  Because they are in public with the teens nearby, or because he won't admit it to himself?

Notice the profound sadness in Kelvin's eyes.  He is in pain.  He is desperate to Say the Word, but he can't.  Why not?  

BJ and Judy are having problems of their own:   BJ is watching the instructional video for Amber's System. Now we see how it works: when you are tempted to say or do something wrong, you drop a blue or pink gemstone into the jar, and your spouse doesn't get hurt. But they'll know how often you've been thinking about it.   Judy enters and becomes irate over the implication that they need marital counseling.

Dig the  BJ in the photograph over the mantle. It's hanging in the parlor, where they entertain company? Compare with the man on display in Kelvin and Keefe's dining room -- no visible p*nis.

We cut to the women's group, where Amber quotes Ruth's speech to Naomi and asks the women to think about "the commitment we have made to the people we love," implicitly validating same-s*x marriages.   Judy bursts in and throws the System carton at her.  But they need the System, Amber insists, because "the decline is real," people aren't showing up, and the scandal of marital infidelity could destroy it altogether. What about the scandal of a gay youth minister living openly with his boyfriend in the Gemstone compound?

Next, the siblings, in their throne room...um, executive board room, reject Baby Billy's pitch for the Bible Bonkers game show.  

Timeline Problem: In Episode 3.2, the board room is still under construction, with Percy making rough sketches, on the same day the Montgomerys flee the militia.  Cousins' Night has to be just a few days later.  Percy works very fast!

The Night, and a lot of vulnerability, next.

More after the break

"Meet Me in St. Louis": the movie that spawned the "Have Yourself" monstrosity. With A LOT of d*cks to get you through it, plus Adam Devine and Will Robinson

Link to the n*de dudes 

(I recommend the NSFW version. You'll need to see some d*cks).

December is the cruelest month, asserting that you must feel ecstatic every second of every day or there is something wrong with you, while overwhelming your senses with bright lights and crowds, and assaulting you with melancholic nostalgia and horribly depressing songs.  And the most depressing song of all is the "Have yourself" monstrosity.  One line is guaranteed to push my general Christmas depression into dark despair. Fortunately, singers extend every syllable indefinitely, so I'm usually able to run out of the store or shut off the tv during "Haaaaaaaaaaaaave youuuuuuuurself..."

I thought that I could expiate the demonic power of the monstrosity by researching where it began, with a viewing of Meet Me in St. Louis (1944) when I was nine or ten years old (in the 1970s!).

Opening: It's the summer of 1903, which many adults in the 1940s recalled through the nostalgic haze of childhood. 

It's the era of empires: after the Spanish American War, the U.S. occupied the Philippines, Guam, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico, building a colonial empire rivaling those of Britain and France.  

It is the era of the robber barons like Rockefeller and Vanderbilt, who amassed huge fortunes and transported Italian villas brick-by-brick to the new world. 

The Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, The Bobbsey Twins, Kim, and The Call of the Wild are on every kid's bookshelf.

Everyone in St. Louis, the 4th largest city in the U.S., is all agog over the upcoming World's Fair, also known as the Louisiana Purchase Exposition.  Although a paeon to American Exceptionalism, it will have exhibits from 65 countries. They'll be able to see X-ray machines and wireless telephones, gawk at "primitive tribes," and eat hot dogs, hamburgers, and cotton candy for the first time.  And hear the song "Meet Me in St. Louis," about a man whose wife leaves him to go to the fair.  And may never come home again.

Trigger #1: Nazarenes were taught that fairs were Satanic, so this represented evil.  Also, I recalled a song about a boy who is coming home late from some other fair, no doubt the victim of foul play:

Oh, dear, what could the matter be -- Johnny's too late from the fair.

At 5135 Kensington Avenue, a trolley-ride away from downtown, fancy businessman Alonzo Smith (Leon Ames) and his family are eagerly anticipating the fair, and watching as the daughters fall in love. 

Esther (Judy Garland) is in love with the Boy Next Door, John Truitt (Tom Drake, left and top photo), who isn't interested.  She sings:

How can I ignore the boy next door?

I love him more than I can say

Doesn't try to please me, doesn't even tease me

And he never sees me glance his way

You forgot the last line: "Maybe he's gay."

 Trigger #2: I hated Judy Garland after seeing her in the horrifying Wizard of Oz (the Witch counts down the minutes to her death!).  Later, I heard that to ever listen to Judy Garland songs meant that you were gay, which was horrifying (I was extremely homophobic during my closeted high school years).

Tom Drake (top photo and right) was "a deeply closeted gay guy, given to despair." terrified that someone would find out. 

Rose (Lucille Bremmer) is in love with Warren Sheffield (Robert Sully), but he's dating another girl (June Lockhart, who would become the Mom on Lost in Space).

Left: Billy Mumy as her son.  

Danger, Will Robinson!  If you value your Christmas cheer, do not continue!

Little Sister Tootie (Margaret O'Brien) is apparently in love with the Ice Man, with whom she discusses whether St. Louis is the greatest city in the world.  But there's really no discussion; of course it is. And they didn't even have that Arch yet.

Margaret O'Brien,  only 8 years old when she was roped into Meet Me, had a career that lasted through the 2000s.  Her last movie role to date is in This is Our Christmas (2018), where a family tries to save their beloved bakery from an evil developer (Margaret) and her son (Vincent de Paul, left).

There's also another daughter, a son, Lon Junior (Henry H. Daniels, Jr.), a grandpa, and a sarcastic maid (lesbian actress Marjorie Mains)

The Farewell Party: Lon Jr. is leaving for Princeton, so they throw him a party.  The Boy Next Door is invited!   Judy Garland/Esther asks him out, but she waits for him at the trolley all afternoon, and he doesn't show up.  

Hoping to find a new beau, she sings "The Trolley Song":

I went to lose a jolly hour on the trolley

And lost my heart instead

With his light brown derby and his bright green tie

He was quite the handsomest of men

I started to yen so I counted to ten

Then I counted to ten again

Halloween: At a bonfire, Little Sister Tootie claims that The Boy Next Door hit her, so Judy Garland / Esther goes to his house and punches and bites him..  Actually, he was trying to protect her from the police. Esther apologizes, and they kiss and start dating. 

Brace yourself: depressing lyrics after the break.  And a lot more c*cks (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

George MacKay: The time-traveler's buddy chooses movies about endless pain, misery, and despair. Just because he has a small di*ck?

  

Link to the n*de dudes

I've been watching 11.22.63:  Jake (James Franco), disillusioned by how awful his life (and everything in general) is in 2016, takes a time portal to 1960 in an attempt to prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy and make life perfect. In Episode 2, he hooks up with Bill (George MacKay), a Kentucky redneck with a standard Stephen King backstory -- abusive father, murdered sister.  

They have to live together for several years while waiting for Lee Harvey Oswald to show up, so they pass themselves off as...um... brothers.  Not much of a gay subtext--  Episode 3 is entitled Other Voices, Other Rooms, but it has nothing to do with the Truman Capote novel about gay awakening, and Bill's heterosexual identity is established very quickly, when the guys relax by going to a gentleman's club.  But at least some people suspect that the two are a gay couple, and Bill is beaten up in what we would call a homophobic hate crime. Later he is institutionalized and given shock therapy, a common experience for gay men in the early 1960s.  And killed.

So, a queer-coded character, displayed in his underwear a lot.   Enough for me to check to see if George MacKay has played any other gay-subtext roles, or is gay in real life.

He was born in 1992, and broke into film as one of the Lost Boys in Peter Pan (2003).  Then he played a gang member in The Thief Lord (2006), which has a gay-subtext romance.

Next came a long string of angst dramas 

The Boys are Back (2009): man with a dying wife and estranged sons.

Private Peaceful (2012): Tommo (George) has a brain-damaged brother, sees his father being crushed by a tree, loses the Girl of His Dreams to his other brother (Jack O'Connell).  They go to war together, and Bro disobeys an order to abandon the wounded Tommo, and is executed.  Sounds delightful.  

How I Live Now (2013): Daisy, who has a dead mother (of course), survives a nuclear war, sees her friends massacred, finds her boyfriend (George) severely injured, and nurses him back to health.  Lovely.

 

The Outcast (2015), a two-part tv movie: Lewis (George) sees his mother drown (of course), and grows up feeling responsible, so he self-harms and sets a church on fire.  He spends time in prison, then confronts his toxic family members (hint: every man is bullying and abusive),  and confesses his love for The Girl of His Dreams before..you guessed it...going to War. Ugh!  Or as one reviewer notes, a "relentlessly emotional, heart-tugging story of tragedy."

Does every single one of George's movie and tv roles involve the endless misery of life?  I'm surprised someone doesn't start singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

Let's check his gay and gay-subtext roles:

I  already reviewed 1917 (2019).  The tragedies piled on World War I soldier George and his gay subtext boyfriend (Richard Madden) were laughably unyielding.  The darn thing was too grim even for torture porn.  But the gay subtext lasted until the last scene, with a last-minute tacked-on reference to a girlfriend back home.  I can hear the writers panicking: "Wait, we forgot to establish that he's straight!  Quick, add a line about a girl!"

 On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Richard Madden is n*de in Sirens. He's playing the gay Ashley Greenwick (stereotyped name, that) caught in the act.  I don't know who the disgusted buddy is. 

Pride (2014): Members of the gay group LGSM are raising money for the families affected by the British Miners' Strike (1984).  Joe (George) is so closeted that his out-and-proud boyfriend dumps him, and dies of AIDS two years later.  Bummer, but at least it's a gay role.

True History of the Kelly Gang (2019): George plays the notorious Australian bushranger (outlaw), who has a gay friend (Nicholas Hoult) and likes to hang out affectionately with his male crew, but also gets a girlfriend.  It ends badly.

In Femme (2023), George plays Preston, a homophobic gang member  who beats up and then starts hooking up with a drag queen.  But she gets revenge by filming their encounters and showing his friends, so they suspect him of being gay.  Preston gets angry and beats her to a pulp, but doesn't kill her.

OMG, George, what is this, Hee-Haw?

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

More after the break

"Big Boys": A gay university freshman tries to make friends, get a boyfriend, find his tribe. With lots of Dylan d *cks

   

Link to the Dylan d *cks

Should I try out Big Boys, a Britcom on Hulu?

Search for n *de photos first.

Whoa, they are definitely big.  Especially Dylan Llewellan.

Narrated by creator/writer Jack Rooke, Big Boys revisits his 19-year old self, attempting to move out of the house to attend uni in the fall of 2013, looking for friends, boyfriends, and his place in the world.

He shouldn't have a problem finding boyfriends. Like I said, the guy is big.  See the photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

I'm reviewing Episode 1.2, "I Wanna Take You to a Gay Bar"

Prelude: 2011: Jack (Dyllan Llewellan) and his Mum  are watching tv when they get the news of Dad's passing.  Shots of the two  crying, cuddling, pushing their feet together, heads on shoulders, legs on laps.  Cringe intimacy you two have.  Americans will perceive an incest subtext, but it's probably not intentional. Brits just like to treat their Mums as their lovers.

Scene 1: 2013:  Jack's first year at Uni.  He can't get into the dorms, so the university moved him and "mature" 25-year old Danny  into an off-campus shed.  Mom is helping them decorate.  

She gives Jack some Tupperware for his marijuana, although he doesn't use, and a  live-laugh-love mobile so he can "live," "have some laughs with a girl," and "fall in love." So Mum is fine with marijuana, but you're not out?  Surely she already knows.

When she leaves, Danny (Jon Pointing) gives Jack a bottle of lubricant -- they were two for one  at Boots -- but he's not sure if backsides take a different kind.  Jack isn't sure either, since he's never been with a guy before.  

"Don't worry, I'll do some research."   

Scene 2: The Student Union Officer announces the "ca-razy" Brent Uni freshers fair, where the first-years try to find their fams. Older Jack, narrating: "Mostly it was second-year drug dealers trying to recruit new clients." 

She tries to sell Jack on the Christian Union, which does a free roast on Sunday nights. Maybe not.

Roommate Danny points out the LGBTQAIA  Student Union.  Jack is afraid to approach, but Danny insists: "You can't be a little saddo all your life."  Why did he make Jack his project?

"But what does the QAIA mean?"

"Queer, Asexual, Intersexed, Allies."  Blimey, when a straight guy knows more than you do....

Uh-oh, Jack sees Yemi (Odisa Odele), the guy he was trying to make out with at the Fresher Mixer last episode. While they were kissing, his hair got caught in the guy's nose ring.  They had to get the Faculty Advisor to cut them loose.  Yemi tries to ignore him, but reconsiders (you think he's hot, or feel sorry for him?). He talks about about the various gay tribes: twink, bear, daddy, pos, otter, trans, and geek.  Jack is obviously a geek.

 They're all going clubbing in London tonight. Wanna come?

Meanwhile, Danny tries to pick up a woman at the Feminist Society table by pushing the free tampons and claiming to be interested in women writers.  Name two. Corinne, a lesbian, interrupts to point out the inconsistencies in his story, but it works: the woman he was cruising invites him to a pre-lash tonight (a private drinking party before you head to the clubs).

Scene 3: Roommate Danny wants Jack to skip the gay clubbing and go to the pre-lash with him, so they can meet some of their fellow students.  They need mates on campus.  Danny is setting himself up as a mentor, but he needs a friend as much as Jack does.  He must have some tragedies and pain in his background, to be revealed later.

Montage of the two getting ready, Danny by working out so he's nicely swole, Jack by reading so he can have an intelligent conversation.

Uh-oh, the Security Guard, whose name is Ru Pal, stops them. Only dormitory residents and signed-in guests, no townies. 

Ok, Danny insists that Jack go to the gay club after all, and he'll stay home, "cooped up like Anne Frank."  Not quite the same thing, buddy.

Scene 4:  Danny is sitting on a bench on campus, trying ineptly to start conversations with passersby, when Corinne, the lesbian from earlier, runs into him.  They argue about feminism.  Her back story: she was the only one in her friend group to get rejected by Oxford and Cambridge.  This is her dull, mundane, state-university-type safety school, full of jocks and eejits.  Wait -- they're doing "You're arrogant!" flirtation arguing.  Is she actually a lesbian, or did I just assume because of her outfit and hair style?

Jack passes by on his way to the pick-up for the gay club, and invites them along.

Scene 5: "No way!  They cannot come!" Yemi, Jack's mentor, yells. "Gays only!"  But their driver says it's fine.

Older Jack, narrating: "It's scary going to your first gay club, 'cause the vast majority are called things like Savage, or Envy, or Revenge."  What about Heaven?

At the club, Gordy's, the drag queen bouncer sizes up Danny: "Straight allies are welcome, but any funny business, f*cking around, laddy banter, any pretending to be Louis Spencer, and you're out!" Louis Spencer is King Charles' nephew, a 30-year old theatrical actor.  I don't know what the drag queen is talking about.

Scene 6: Clubbers dancing, drinking, hugging,  and whooping.  Older Jack narrating: "In spite of being individual misfits, we spent the whole night together."  So this series will be about the various problems of the friendship group.

Danny gets cruised by an obnoxious guy, but gets rid of him by claiming that he comes to London to visit his cousin in Wormwood Scrubs -- a prison.  

I thought Obnoxious Guy was played by Gordon 'Gordy' Maxwell, to whom the episode is dedicated.  There's a memorial article on the Minka Guides website, which describes him as a tv producer and a regular at the Sink the Pink Nightclub.  Except he was over 40, and the episode aired in May 2022, several years after his death in December 2018.  Wait -- the club is named "Gordy's."  That's the homage.

More after the break. 

Johnny Berchtold: I have good news and bad news. The good news is his d*ck

 Link to the n*de dudes

I researched Johnny Berchtold, who plays the gay-vague or maybe canonically gay college student Richard Beck on Season 3 of Reacher.   

I have good news and bad news.

The good news: He is huge.

 

The bad news: The d*ck pic is from the movie A Hard Problem (2021).  Johnny plays a guy who tries to reconnect with his sister and recruits The Girl to help him clean out his deceased mother's house. Heteronormativity all the way down.

The good news:  In addition to Reacher, Johnny has a gay-vague role in  The Passenger (2023). Violent loose-cannon Benson (Kyle Gallner) decides to "fix" beset-upon fast-food worker  Randy (Johnny), killing his bullies, helping him stand up to his overbearing mother, and so on.

The script was heteronormative, but queer director Carter Smith had the actors push up the homoeroticism until they are almost a gay couple.  (Spoiler: one dies at the end).

The bad news: I couldn't find any other gay or gay-vague roles.

In Tiny Pretty Things (2023), his character is married to Claire (Katherine Hahn of Agatha All Along).

In spite of the whimsical pun-title, Dog Gone (2023) is about a dying guy and his dog, who is also dying.  He's probably straight, but I'm not sure: the plot synopsis was so disturbing that I just skimmed through.

In Gaslight (2021), which is about Watergate, not Victorian England, Johnny plays Jay Jennings, the estranged son of Martha Mitchell (wife of Attorney General John Mitchell).  He is married to a woman.

In spite of the whimsical title,  Life as a Mermaid (2016-2018) is a live-action drama about two mermaid sisters living among humans.  Johnny plays the Barnacle King, sort of a nerdish character with disgusting barnacles attached to his face.  He has a male sidekick, but I couldn't stomach watching long enough to determine if he is gay or gay-vague.

Fun fact: Life as a Mermaid is also a documentary about transgender people in Borneo.

The good news: Johnny is way into horror.  His instagram is full of photos of him in bloody and monster makeup, and getting Chucky as a roommate.  

More after the break

"A Real Pain": Cousins have wacky adventures or a Dark Night of the Soul in Poland. With Kieran Culkin's backside.

     Link to the n*de dudes

A Real Pain (2024), on Hulu, is advertised as a wacky buddy comedy with Kieran Culkin and Jesse Eisenberg, touring Poland, with a lot of exteriors.   No doubt they are both absurdly heterosexual and will meet The Girl of Their Dreams, but it will be fun to see how quickly their heterosexual identity is established. 

 Besides, I'd like to see some of the sights, like the Jewish Museum in Warsaw and the University of Krakow. .

Not to mention Kieran's backside.

Scene 1: Benji (Kieran Culkin, left) is sitting in the airport waiting for David (Jesse Eisenberg), who is just walking out the door of his Manhattan brownstone.  He keeps calling: heavy traffic...no, it lightened up...Ok, so David is the Stick-in-the-Mud, Benji the Free Spirit.

At the airport, Benji grabs him and makes him twirl so he can see his cousin's butt.  Um...an interested in a guy's butt is a sign of gay identity.

He brought yogurt, and some weed for when they reach Poland: "They're not going to arrest two Jews for a little weed."

He chats up the TSA lady: "Her Dad does security for the Knicks."  This annoys David. Doesn't count as heterosexualizing him.

Priya made some trail mix for them.  Doesn't count: she could be an aunt or a sister.

Scene 2: On the plane, David has to take the middle seat. Bummer.

They discuss their back story: David works in digital ad sales, and Benji is a deadbeat. They haven't seen each other for a while.  They're going on a Heritage Tour of Poland.. wait, they're Jewish...is this a tour of the sites of pograms and concentration camps? 

Naw, who would want to see those?  Poland has 1000 years of Jewish history.

Later, David takes his prescription meds and gazes at a video of his daughter. Heterosexualized at minute 6.30. 

It's actually Jesse Eisenberg's real-life son, Banner.  I was confused by his long blond hair.

Scene 3: At the Warsaw airport -- "Welcome to Warsaw" sign in English.  They meet their driver. Some nice location shots as they drive through the city, but David is still gazing at that video of his son.   Why the heck aren't you looking out the window at this major European capital that you've never been to before?

They check in, retrive a package of weed from the desk clerk, and head up to their room. When David kicks off his shoes, Benji complements him: "You have really nice feet.  Graceful as fuck. Reminds me of Grandma's feet."  Foot fetish? Benji is giving off some gay vibes.

Scene 4: Tour Guide James (Will Sharpe, top photo) introduces himself: Not actually Jewish, but a degree in Eastern European Studies from Oxford.

The others in the tour are:

1. Marcia Kramer, recently divorced, from New York.  Her mother survived the camps. One of the cousins is obviously going to fall in love with her, but I'm not sure which.  Maybe David is divorced, and Benji's interest in men's butts and feet is supposed to be wacky, not homoerotic.

2.-3. Diane and Mark (Daniel Oreskes), an elderly couple. 

Daniel Oreskes has 40 acting credits on the IMDB, including The Sopranos, Law & Order, Ray Donovan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and Only Murderers in this Building.  He is heterosexual.

4. Eloge, from Rwanda, converted to Judaism.  He's a survivor of the Rwandan genocide.

The Cameroon-born Kurt Egyiawan is a British theatrical actor who has appeared in The Exorcist, House of the Dragon, Bodies, and Kaos.  No intel on whether he's heterosexual or not.

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"Bad Ideas with Adam Devine": When you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry. With bonus buddy bulges and butts

 

Link to the buddy butts and bulges

Sometimes you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry, and your best bet is Adam Devine.  Not (just) because of his hotness, because his stuff is always upbeat, with no hatred, no tragedy, no angst, not a lot of heteronormative mishegas, just whimsical problems, humorous braggadoccio, and homoerotic bonds. 

But you don't have time for a whole movie, or an episode of  Workaholicsor   The Righteous Gemstones. What do you do?

The reality series Bad Ideas with Adam Devine, streaming on Roku, is a perfect solution. In each episode, Adam. "the world's greatest movie star, the world's greatest lover, the guy who clearly writes his own intros," teams up with one of his comedian buddies to do something dangerous:

1. Compete in the World's Hottest Pepper Eating Contest, in the Bahamas. With Thomas Middleditch of Solar Opposites

2. Compete in a demolition derby, the Night of Destruction, at Perris Auto Speedway, near Riverside, California. With Blake Anderson from Workaholics

3. Become stunt performers in a Western movie (after seven minutes of training). With Rebel Wilson from Pitch Perfect

4. Drive an ice cream truck up highway P3 in Peru, called "the Death Road" for its hairpin turns and 1000 foot drops. With Anders Holm from Workaholics

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Two questions about Paul Mescal: Does he appear in anything good? And is it ok to post dick pics?

  

Link to NSFW version

Paul Mescal was born in Maynooth, Ireland, about 30 minutes west of Dublin.  He graduated from Trinity College in 2017, and went to work in the theater, getting roles in The Great Gatsby, The Plough and the Stars, A Midsummer Night's Dream, A Streetcar Named Desire and A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. 

 In 2020 he broke into television with a starring role in Normal People, about two Trinity College undergrads in love.

Wait -- why are they "normal people"?  Do they have some marginalized trait, like being autistic? Reading the description, it doesn't sound like it. Marianne is rich and outspoken, Paul an A-list athlete. Sounds like "Love Story." The only conflict I can see is that they both have friends who would oppose the match, so they have to keep it a secret.  I guess "normal" just means being heterosexual, as opposed to gay.

Apparently the two have a lot of sex, with long scenes of them being languid in each other's arms afterwards, so if you can find some way to crop the girl out, you can get a lot of dick pics. 

But wait -- Buzzfeed News tells us that "Paul Mescal just called out a woman who made him "really angry" by telling him she'd seen him naked and saved a nude screenshot." 

The woman approached him in a bar and said: "I didn’t think the show was any good, but I saw your willy and I have a photo!”

His response: “Truly gross. What is a person supposed to reply to something like that?  That's fucking rude!"

I can understand his reaction: you haven't seen the actor naked, you've seen the character he is portraying.  Besides, even if you did see someone's dick without an invitation, like in the urinals or the locker room, why would you brag to them about it?  It would be like saying "I'm stalking you."

But he brings up a question: is seeing an actor's penis on screen substantially different from seeing his face, or his bare chest?  The aesthetic appeal of the actor's face and physique adds to our enjoyment of the movie, in some cases quite a lot.  But does the penis move the scene away from the aesthetic into the erotic?  And is that inappropriate?

I don't think so.  An actor's work can be enjoyed on many levels.  Faces and physiques can be quite erotic, and a penis has aesthetic appeal.  Viewers can enjoy an image in many ways, for what it reveals about the character, for its placement in the narrative, for its symbolic value, because it is beautiful, or because it is hot. Especially with the girl cropped out.

Next question: Does Paul star in anything good? That is, with gay characters, gay subtexts, or an intriguing premise, and minimal red flags like terminal illness.

Normal People is out.  I'm turned off by the implication that being heterosexual is "normal," so being gay is "abnormal."  Besides, it's just a collegiate romance.  We've seen hundreds of them.  

According to the IMDB, Paul next appeared in four episodes of The Deceived, 2020: A university student falls in love with her prof, who may have killed his wife.  Paul's character is in love with her. Looking for gay content, I found a reference to a subplot on a discussion board, but nothing about it appears in reviews. Nope.

The Lost Daughter, 2021: A university professor on holiday in Greece remembers being a "selfish and unnatural" mother who had an affair and abandoned her family.  Yuck.

More after the break